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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by DumpsterBaby
I am Catholic but don't know the reason for open caskets. They do make me very sad, and seeing a child would send me over the edge. I think we can pay respect without having to see them. Some people have different levels of comfort.
I agree.
Some coworkers and I were discussing this last week- before this recent tragedy even.
We just dont' get it- and we are Catholics.
I don't like it.
I feel it's very morbid and the person never looks like themselves anyway. So much make up etc.
I find it upsetting to see.
I feel like it's an old traditional from many many years ago....
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Posted 12/18/12 2:37 PM  |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by Paramount
Posted by nrthshgrl
One tradition that I'm glad passed is having death photos.
What is a death photo?????
I THINK she is referring to where they would take a picture of the body in the coffin before they close it and bury.
As like a reminder.
I know my dad has some pictures from years and years ago of dead relatives in a coffin.
It always creeped me out to see it.
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| Posted 12/18/12 2:38 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
I'm Jewish so I have no personal knowledge but I remember someone telling me once that it was a very old tradition/superstition to ward off evil spirits - like if the casket is open and viewed by well-wishers who say a prayer etc. it ensures that the deceased isn't buried with any evil spirits. Not sure if this was specific to one cultural group or not.
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| Posted 12/18/12 2:40 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
I'm Jewish as well and always felt the same as you. I understand it's custom too. I have been to a few wakes, but don't go up to the body. The wakes I have been to we're for friend's older relatives that passed and I go to support them.
Also know that for Jewish funerals the immediate family members are the only ones allowed to see the body to say goodbye. The casket is closed for the funeral. We bury our dead immediately and then sit shiva at the homes of the relative and people come overe to pay respects there.
Message edited 12/18/2012 2:43:05 PM.
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| Posted 12/18/12 2:41 PM |
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TheWhiteRabbit
Thru the rabbit hole!
Member since 7/06 4412 total posts
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by jkfris09
I've pretty much only been to funerals that had open caskets so it just felt like the norm to me, old or young it's just how it was. I've never considered the reason "why" so much as much as it is as normal to me as a closed casket may be to you. I think it gives a sense of closure.
I agree word for word. i always thought it was a 'closure' thing, and never really thought too much about it, it's just the way it was.
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| Posted 12/18/12 2:41 PM |
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Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Paramount
Posted by nrthshgrl
One tradition that I'm glad passed is having death photos.
What is a death photo?????
I THINK she is referring to where they would take a picture of the body in the coffin before they close it and bury.
As like a reminder.
I know my dad has some pictures from years and years ago of dead relatives in a coffin.
It always creeped me out to see it.
As I stated - my family always had a family portrait done by the casket, and photos of the casket itself. There are a few funeral homes that offer the service because its really not an american tradition anymore.
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| Posted 12/18/12 2:42 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by Jugglemom
As a parent the grief would already be insurmountable - seeing my baby would not make it more so for me. I would want to see my child's face one more time and touch him/ her for the last time.  
This. (and it made me cry)
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| Posted 12/18/12 2:54 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
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Me
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The funerals start. Can Christians explain
I never knew it was a religious thing. I thought it was just whatever the family wanted. My grandmother's wake was open casket and she was Jewish. Most wakes I've been to have been open casket.
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:04 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Closure. Seeing the body makes it real and gives a chance to say goodbye, to touch the person one last time.
It makes sense to me and I'm not religious.
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:04 PM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
I would have to see my baby one last time, absolutely......
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:07 PM |
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rkl1130
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 1476 total posts
Name:
Rose Ann
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The funerals start. Can Christians explain
It's both a personal and cultural choice.
Some cultures do not even allow open caskets.
Most of the time, the open casket is really a chance for people to say "good bye" to the loved one one last time. It's part of the grieving process. In some cases, it's also to make a statement.
We have open casket funerals and have had only one closed casket (my aunt was almost unrecognizable), so having it open is the norm for us.
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:08 PM |
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rkl1130
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 1476 total posts
Name:
Rose Ann
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by Nifheim
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Paramount
Posted by nrthshgrl
One tradition that I'm glad passed is having death photos.
What is a death photo?????
I THINK she is referring to where they would take a picture of the body in the coffin before they close it and bury.
As like a reminder.
I know my dad has some pictures from years and years ago of dead relatives in a coffin.
It always creeped me out to see it.
As I stated - my family always had a family portrait done by the casket, and photos of the casket itself. There are a few funeral homes that offer the service because its really not an american tradition anymore.
My family still does the death photo.
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:09 PM |
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Eunyboo
<3
Member since 7/12 4376 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by StaceyWill
I look at is as: It's the last time you're ever going to "see" that person.
I've been to a lot of wakes/funerals where the families were ok until the casket is getting lowered into the ground and they lose it. It's the finality of it all.
This exactly! Every wake I've been to has been open casket.. Although I am always super nervous to see the person, it has always given me a sense of closure/peace. Also, it sometimes reinforces the fact that they are gone..
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:12 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by ElizaRags35
I never knew it was a religious thing. I thought it was just whatever the family wanted. My grandmother's wake was open casket and she was Jewish. Most wakes I've been to have been open casket.
When you say wake, it means she was buried with christian customs, not Jewish.
So my guess it was your family who did the arrangements and had a non jewish burial because YOU were not Jewish.
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:26 PM |
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Barbiegrl
So in love with my little man!
Member since 8/09 2618 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by KittyTheTax
Posted by jkfris09
I've pretty much only been to funerals that had open caskets so it just felt like the norm to me, old or young it's just how it was. I've never considered the reason "why" so much as much as it is as normal to me as a closed casket may be to you. I think it gives a sense of closure.
I agree word for word. i always thought it was a 'closure' thing, and never really thought too much about it, it's just the way it was.
I agree.
Also, when my grandmother died she was very sick fir a long time. She was in FL when she died but we had her wake and funeral here in NY. I was nervous to see her only because I knew she suffered. When I walked in to the room at the funeral home I could already see just how beautiful she looked. She really looked so peaceful and beautiful. That gave me some comfort.
On the other hand I've been to a few where the person does look different and that can be hard. I do think it's for closure. Also just to touch, hug kiss your loved one - one last time. It's always been the norm in my family to have an open casket.
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:27 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
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Me
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by Paramount
Posted by ElizaRags35
I never knew it was a religious thing. I thought it was just whatever the family wanted. My grandmother's wake was open casket and she was Jewish. Most wakes I've been to have been open casket.
When you say wake, it means she was buried with christian customs, not Jewish.
So my guess it was your family who did the arrangements and had a non jewish burial because YOU were not Jewish.
Honestly I don't know because they didn't want the grandchildren to see her dead. I was 16 but I distinctly remember all of the adults in my family going to Schwartz Brothers Memorial Chapel and they came back saying it was a good thing we didn't go because she didn't look like herself. I guess I just assumed it was an open casket wake by their description. She's buried in a Jewish cemetery somewhere out here.
Message edited 12/18/2012 3:32:45 PM.
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:29 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
its seeing your loved one. getting to say goodbye.
My mom felt very much how you did until my father passed away He was 56, it was sudden.
I remember walking into the funeral home before the wake began, I went and got my mom a cup of tea. She was kneeling beside my dad. She was crying and I went up to her and hugged her, also apologized for interupting her time with him but she looked at me and thanked me - said that if I hadn't gotten there, she may have climbed in with him and died right there. BROKE my heart.
Later she said that things would have been much harder for her had she not gotten to see him again. You can prepare yourself for that "one last time".
its comforting to be able to look at your loved one, to be able to talk to the face that you love. of course if there is any trauma or the person was very ill and doesn't look like themselves, it is usualy closed.
its hard to explain. saying goodbye is very important and seeing your loved ones face, hands, body helps with that closure.
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:35 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by Paramount
Posted by ElizaRags35
I never knew it was a religious thing. I thought it was just whatever the family wanted. My grandmother's wake was open casket and she was Jewish. Most wakes I've been to have been open casket.
When you say wake, it means she was buried with christian customs, not Jewish.
So my guess it was your family who did the arrangements and had a non jewish burial because YOU were not Jewish.
Honestly I don't know because they didn't want the grandchildren to see her dead. I was 16 but I distinctly remember all of the adults in my family going to Schwartz Brothers Memorial Chapel and they came back saying it was a good thing we didn't go because she didn't look like herself. I guess I just assumed it was an open casket wake by their description. She's buried in a Jewish cemetery somewhere out here.
I wrote that only close relatives are allowed to see the deceased. Maybe that's what you though, but the funeral the casket is closed. For my grandmothers I was young and chose not to see them. It's not a wake though. You just see the body in a separate room before the funeral begins then it's closed
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| Posted 12/18/12 3:36 PM |
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Jennifer
Happy
Member since 5/05 4230 total posts
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.
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
I would think it is the last time you are going to see them in person. Will you really remember them like that? Probably not. Will it give you closure? Maybe some what.
But never say never. One of my friend's lost her son in a car accident and she had it open. He was 19. The most humbling experience was when it was just her and her son and she was saying good bye. I am crying just thinking about it.
I was in the room watching her and the things she was saying to him. The pain she was going through.
I can't even imagine these parents. They just want to see their baby one last time. So if they want it open, let them have it open.
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| Posted 12/18/12 4:14 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by Jugglemom
As a parent the grief would already be insurmountable - seeing my baby would not make it more so for me. I would want to see my child's face one more time and touch him/ her for the last time.
This. (and it made me cry)
I agree. For me, I don't know that I could have true closure without seeing the person one last time. Especially if it was my baby.
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| Posted 12/18/12 4:17 PM |
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Juliet
Family is Complete!
Member since 5/05 5913 total posts
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Juliet
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
I am Catholic of Italian-American upbringing and we have always had open casket. I truly think it does give closure. There is no question that the person has passed. I do think it helps people move to the next step of grieving.
I have heard of people struggling with accepting the passing of a loved one and they never saw the body and believed the person would come back one day. One casket really does help!
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| Posted 12/18/12 4:26 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by EricaAlt
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by Paramount
Posted by ElizaRags35
I never knew it was a religious thing. I thought it was just whatever the family wanted. My grandmother's wake was open casket and she was Jewish. Most wakes I've been to have been open casket.
When you say wake, it means she was buried with christian customs, not Jewish.
So my guess it was your family who did the arrangements and had a non jewish burial because YOU were not Jewish.
Honestly I don't know because they didn't want the grandchildren to see her dead. I was 16 but I distinctly remember all of the adults in my family going to Schwartz Brothers Memorial Chapel and they came back saying it was a good thing we didn't go because she didn't look like herself. I guess I just assumed it was an open casket wake by their description. She's buried in a Jewish cemetery somewhere out here.
I wrote that only close relatives are allowed to see the deceased. Maybe that's what you though, but the funeral the casket is closed. For my grandmothers I was young and chose not to see them. It's not a wake though. You just see the body in a separate room before the funeral begins then it's closed
Yeah the funeral was closed casket, no service, just a few words at the plot. The "viewing" was the night before the funeral.
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| Posted 12/18/12 4:27 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
I am a cathoiic and this is our custom. I however have not been to an open casket funeral in over 20 years as they are too traumatic for me. My cousin was laid out in an open casket alongside his mom as they both died in an accident and that is the last time i have been inside a funeral home
However if it was my own child then I would want to see and hold my baby one more time...god the thought of that sends me over the edge I would not want others seeing my baby though.
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| Posted 12/18/12 4:40 PM |
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lululu
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Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by Jugglemom
As a parent the grief would already be insurmountable - seeing my baby would not make it more so for me. I would want to see my child's face one more time and touch him/ her for the last time.
I agree. I could never just have the last moments that morning when I sent my child to school be my last. I would need to see my child again.
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| Posted 12/18/12 4:44 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
I'm Catholic & I must be morbid or something. I have only been to wakes with an open casket. I prefer it. It's so normal to me & I do find comfor in seeing their face one last time & you get to "say" goodbye to them. None have involved a person who was murdered or a child though & I don't know how I would feel if God forbid I attended a wake of this person. We also take the dead pictures. Once in a while I'll stumble across my grandparents casket pics & it doesn't make me sad or anything. It makes me think of them alive actually.
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| Posted 12/18/12 4:51 PM |
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