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Kazuri
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 703 total posts
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by Paramount
Posted by Arieschick29
Posted by JenniferEver
Posted by BklynBabe12
I wish Catholics could do a shiva, not thats any better, but to have to sit there with the body there is just God awful.
I really like the idea of a shiva. Instead of a wake where you have to get up, get all dressed up and essentially act the host, I like the idea of just being surrounded with that love and support for 7 days.
I'm Christian but I don't think I could/ would want to stretch out my grieving for 7 days.
Thats SO interesting you say that...because i never thought of it in that regard.
Depending on how religious you are you dont sit all 7 days. We sat for 5 with my grandparents.
But its NOT about greiving for 7 days. its about being with friends and family and remembering the lost loved one. Its visiting, and laughing. And yes, crying. And it gives everyone the chance to come and pay respects. I think thats where thr tradition comes from. In the "old days" people could not get to a funeral. So you sat shivah so everyone who wanted to pay their respects could.
I cant fathom just 4 hours. Calling hours from 2-4 and 6-8. Thats it. So its VERY interesting.
What a great insite into how things work in others cultures and religions.
Where I grew up it is not unusual to have no wake what so ever. Generally, there would be "visiting hours" for two hours at the funeral home the night before burial. Then the funeral would be the next day, a lot of times the funeral was "close family only".
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Posted 12/19/12 4:40 PM  |
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KristenRSF
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/10 487 total posts
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Kris
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by colette
My Mom's wake is going to be held tomorrow.  We are Catholic, the tradition is an open casket. However, one of the ONLY things my mother ever said about when her time came was that she did NOT want an open casket. She went to every wake she had to go to, and always always hated that tradition and considered it brutal for both the family and the attendees. Hated it. So we will honor her request. We will have our private time with her, with the casket opened for us. We will have one last look at her beautiful face, and tuck in our relics and touch her hands. And then we will say goodbye and close the lid and know that's what she wanted. The funeral home will be a place of love, and people will remember as they will, and she would love it if those memories were of her ALIVE so that's what we hope for too.
I am so, so, SO sorry to hear about your Mom. May she rest in peace. 
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| Posted 12/19/12 7:50 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by KristenRSF
Posted by colette
My Mom's wake is going to be held tomorrow. We are Catholic, the tradition is an open casket. However, one of the ONLY things my mother ever said about when her time came was that she did NOT want an open casket. She went to every wake she had to go to, and always always hated that tradition and considered it brutal for both the family and the attendees. Hated it. So we will honor her request. We will have our private time with her, with the casket opened for us. We will have one last look at her beautiful face, and tuck in our relics and touch her hands. And then we will say goodbye and close the lid and know that's what she wanted. The funeral home will be a place of love, and people will remember as they will, and she would love it if those memories were of her ALIVE so that's what we hope for too.
I am so, so, SO sorry to hear about your Mom. May she rest in peace.
I'm very sorry as well 
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| Posted 12/19/12 7:53 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
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fka LIW Smara
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The funerals start. Can Christians explain
Aside from it being part of the Christian culture, it can also be a preference when planning a funeral. There are some times when a family cant even have an open casket because of the circumstances surrounding the death.
My family is catholic and our wakes are open casket. Its the way we grieve and I dont see it as being morbid. everyone grieves in their own way. Aside from crying and mourning, we also laugh and share in the company of family in friends we havent seen in so long. Very different but again its how we grieve.
The first open casket wake I attended was my mother when I was 11yrs old. it was a very unexpected death, so there was no time to prepare yourself. She did not look like herself at all & it took me time to believe that was my mother lying there. I was there for three days, afternoon & evening wake each day. I touched her hand, stroked her hair, Prayed by her casket & kissed every chance I could. It brought me as much closure as it could at the time that my mother was gone. The hardest part of the whole funeral for me isnt the open casket. Its when the casket closes forever at the funeral home, when the casket leave the church after mass and the most gut wrenching is when they lower it to the ground. That is when i lose it.
I dont know if I could handle going to a childs funeral that wasnt in my immediate circle because it would be sad and I would internalize it as a parent. But god forbid and I wount evne write it out. I would want to see my baby until the last possible moment if I could. This is my perspective on it.
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| Posted 12/19/12 8:32 PM |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by Jugglemom
As a parent the grief would already be insurmountable - seeing my baby would not make it more so for me. I would want to see my child's face one more time and touch him/ her for the last time. 
ITA!!
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| Posted 12/19/12 8:55 PM |
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imagin916
LIF Adult
Member since 6/05 1826 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
I have been to mainly open casket funerals, but I don't think its necessarily a religion thing to have that. My grandparents were deeply religious (my grandfather was a deacon in the Catholic church) and he had an open casket but my grandmother did not. She did not want it for her. They were both cremated as per their wishes.
I know years ago they used to take pictures of the body in the casket here to send back to Italy to show the family there that the person was actually dead, but I'm talking many many years ago that was common.
We do not take pictures of the body in my family, I personally think its creepy, but if that is someones culture, so be it.
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| Posted 12/19/12 9:21 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by DumpsterBaby
I am Catholic but don't know the reason for open caskets. They do make me very sad, and seeing a child would send me over the edge. I think we can pay respect without having to see them. Some people have different levels of comfort.
This for me.... DH is also catholic, but he will say that if the person was sick before they died(like a grandparent who had cancer), sometimes its better seeing them in open casket to remember the way they use to be.... I still disagree and would rather a couple nice photos be placed in frames next to it.
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| Posted 12/20/12 5:12 AM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Re: The funerals start. Can Christians explain "open caskets" to me?
Posted by imagin916
I know years ago they used to take pictures of the body in the casket here to send back to Italy to show the family there that the person was actually dead, but I'm talking many many years ago that was common.
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my uncle photographed my grandmother like 5 years ago.... I think they were going to be emailing some of my aunts egyptian family who couldn't make it.
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| Posted 12/20/12 5:14 AM |
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