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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
I think that this really seems like a great idea. I am going to try it with my DH. (even though I don't have any kids yet)
One of my things will be to cook dinner at least 2X this week and to do all of the laundry (DH usually does most of the cleaning)
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Posted 8/24/07 1:38 PM  |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
How about if we say you have to do 3 things (minimum) this weekend?
Everyone report back on Monday?
Remember - we're not telling them it's an experiment....shhhhh....
Message edited 8/24/2007 1:43:33 PM.
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| Posted 8/24/07 1:42 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
You make a wonderful point Barb and your suggested plan is great. I'm pretty stressed right now with my kids just being kids, working from home, my dad is ill, my DH is miserable at work and looking for a new job...so by the end of the day I just want to be left the h e ll alone and not have to put effort into spending time with DH. I know...totally a bad thing, but I'm just beat down.
And sometimes I feel like all I do is b itch and moan about the stupid things, so DH just keeps quiet alot as to avoid a meltdown on my part.  Seriously, your idea is simple and I think it could have drastic results for me, personally, with simply helping me to appreciate the good instead of focusing on the bad.
I'm in....I'll do it. First thing...not to bi tch about SIL coming tomorrow. It will be hard, but I think I can do it, either on my own or with some help from Jose Cuervo. 
I've been putting DH last out of sheer lack of energy. We dont' fight, he is wonderful, helps around the house, etc, but the pizzaz and fun are gone. And I know my attitude sets the tone for our house.
I've actually gotten so annoyed about having to clean up after his dog who sheds all over the house, that I used his bath towel to wipe it up! Shhh...
Message edited 8/24/2007 1:52:15 PM.
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| Posted 8/24/07 1:45 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
good idea! I am in. We have been doing sooooo well lately(knock on serious wood). I think he finally has a spot in Josh's life and that is helping in a big way.
My 3 things:
sounds funny, but offer to pluck his unibrow It use to be my job pre-Josh, now I never have any time to do it.
make lentil soup tonight...he loves it from scratch...i have been cheating lately with the canned.
send a love note to his job.
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| Posted 8/24/07 1:51 PM |
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Belladonna219
HOT MAMA
Member since 2/07 2642 total posts
Name:
Belladonna219
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
OK let me get this straight we have to do 3 nice things for DH and not tell them of our experiment or do they have to write things down to?
I am in regardless....I need to think 3 things! hahaa
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| Posted 8/24/07 1:56 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Posted by Belladonna219
OK let me get this straight we have to do 3 nice things for DH and not tell them of our experiment or do they have to write things down to?
I am in regardless....I need to think 3 things! hahaa
You do things for your DH without telling him and the theory is that your relationship will benefit from the positive energy.
DH and I were in a very bad place recently and we've both been making a conscious effort to turn things around and be mindful of not being so selfish. It's definatley worked, things are a million times better.
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| Posted 8/24/07 1:59 PM |
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Belladonna219
HOT MAMA
Member since 2/07 2642 total posts
Name:
Belladonna219
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
[
You do things for your DH without telling him and the theory is that your relationship will benefit from the positive energy.
DH and I were in a very bad place recently and we've both been making a conscious effort to turn things around and be mindful of not being so selfish. It's definatley worked, things are a million times better.
Got it! Thank you!
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:01 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Cathy's got it right.
Ok my three things are:
1- Clean the house tonight & tomorrow am - including the kitchen (which is his job)
2 - Make meatballs (the only thing I can cook) on Sunday.
3 - still thinking about.
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:04 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
I think I'm going to leave this out for DH so he can start doing 3 things for me.
Is that a bad way of looking at things?
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:06 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Ok....here are mine:
1. Not say anything negative about SIL this weekend..(unless she tries to tell my kids what to do)
2. Make his lunch Sunday night for work the next day.
3. Wash his work clothes...usually his job.
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:11 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
OK, mine are tough as I'm SAHM right now and pretty much do everything in the house anyway...
1. I'm making meatballs... not copying you Barb, I had the meat in the fridge defrosting for two days
2. Wash and put his laundry AWAY.
3. Go out tomorrow to run an errand... really get his car washed and bring him back an iced coffee from DD.
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:19 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
ehem, I think the hubbies should writing lists of what they plan to do for us ! 
party pooper dashes out of the room 
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:28 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Posted by nrthshgrl
How about if we say you have to do 3 things (minimum) this weekend?
Everyone report back on Monday?
Remember - we're not telling them it's an experiment....shhhhh....
that's doable
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:30 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Posted by anna
ehem, I think the hubbies should writing lists of what they plan to do for us !
party pooper dashes out of the room
Dude - your marriage is going to hell. You don't have to worry about this - you take those 3 boys with you & he will be getting pennies out of his paycheck.
 
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:32 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Posted by nrthshgrl
How about if we say you have to do 3 things (minimum) this weekend?
Everyone report back on Monday?
Remember - we're not telling them it's an experiment....shhhhh....
that's doable
now I have to think about the things
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:32 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Posted by MrsBumbleb
that's doable
now I have to think about the things
Giving birth to his child doesn't count.
etd. to ask: What is something you argue about or that he gripes about?
Maybe do that instead?
Message edited 8/24/2007 2:35:56 PM.
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:35 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by anna
ehem, I think the hubbies should writing lists of what they plan to do for us !
party pooper dashes out of the room
Dude - your marriage is going to hell. You don't have to worry about this - you take those 3 boys with you & he will be getting pennies out of his paycheck.
he already gets pennies out of his paycheck  he shops for toys "for the kids"  way too often...
Im working on a list of things I should STOP doing to make him see how good he's got it.
OK, sorry to interrupt your wonderful post.
But on a serious note, I think it's a great idea and I do agree with it.
I wont get all religious but Ive spent time with some of the most amazing people this summer, one older couple I adore are like teenagers, giggle and hold hands and joke around, and she said lots of things about keeping a healthy marriage, among them respecting your hubby, ALWAYS taking care of him, making it the center of your life (not those words exactly...)
OK, OK, I'll let him sleep past 7am tomorrow
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:43 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Love this post Barb - great ideas! I'm in!
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| Posted 8/24/07 2:55 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Posted by MrsBumbleb
that's doable
now I have to think about the things
Giving birth to his child doesn't count.
etd. to ask: What is something you argue about or that he gripes about?
Maybe do that instead?
I ALREADY CLEAN THE DAMM HOUSE!!! THAT'S IT I"M NOT DOING THIS!!!!!!
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| Posted 8/24/07 3:14 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
okay mine are all food and sex related. I'm sure the food would go over a lot more than the sex right now. Gee... I wonder why
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| Posted 8/24/07 3:16 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Message edited 11/10/2011 8:27:37 PM.
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| Posted 8/24/07 3:24 PM |
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Belladonna219
HOT MAMA
Member since 2/07 2642 total posts
Name:
Belladonna219
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
This stinks for me because I already do all the cooking and cleaning. That mean I am stuck doing dirty deeds
Here are mine!
1. give him a pedicure
2. give him a massage
3. pay more attention to him
Message edited 8/24/2007 3:40:21 PM.
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| Posted 8/24/07 3:26 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
I'm in.... I'm feeling a lot of the things you mentioned in your inital post. I'm strongly considering talking to someone bc I wonder if I'm being unfair to him with my expectations.
We go in waves where things will be good for a few days and then I can't stand the sight of him. I'm at a point where I have to consciously remind myself that there's a reason why I married him.
But I will try the experiment... my 3 things are
1- Offer to drive when we go out this weekend
2- Make a cheesecake (from scratch) for dessert on Sunday
3- Not complain about how much I hate having a dog
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| Posted 8/24/07 3:30 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
Barbara,
This is some of the best advice I have ever heard!
You are going to help a lot of people with this information.
To paraphrase Forrest Gump "Nice is as Nice does."
I think by doing the little things like saying "thanks for the coffee" etc. it reaps a huge benefit in return. Most people can not help but respond in kind when some one is being nice to them.
Bravo!
honestly, it's a two way street. This is NOT about male-female right here. It's about strong marriages.
Message edited 8/24/2007 3:32:28 PM.
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| Posted 8/24/07 3:32 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
Barbara,
This is some of the best advice I have ever heard!
You are going to help a lot of people with this information.
To paraphrase Forrest Gump "Nice is as Nice does."
I think by doing the little things like saying "thanks for the coffee" etc. it reaps a huge benefit in return. Most people can not help but respond in kind when some one is being nice to them.
Bravo!
So what are your 3 things?
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| Posted 8/24/07 3:34 PM |
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