Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Message edited 11/10/2011 8:28:18 PM.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin

Barbara,

This is some of the best advice I have ever heard!

You are going to help a lot of people with this information.

To paraphrase Forrest Gump "Nice is as Nice does."

I think by doing the little things like saying "thanks for the coffee" etc. it reaps a huge benefit in return. Most people can not help but respond in kind when some one is being nice to them.

Bravo!

So what are your 3 things?

I always say thank you & please.
I cook as much as I can. 1 because I really like to and 2 because it makes me happy that she enjoys my cooking.
And I do the yard work and laundry.
We're okay, the best relationship I've ever had in my life. I think by not taking her for granted and realizing that life gets in the way sometimes I make a conscious effort to always remember every time I look at her why I love her.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Message edited 11/10/2011 8:28:40 PM.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Interesting...I may have to try it.

I've been through the "roommate" patch too....

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I like the idea. I'm in. I've been through the roomate patch too and only by forcing ourselves to have regular date nights (at least once a month) did we get out of it.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Wow good thing you found a wonderful counselor to help you through things

DH and I seem to do these things for each other without even knowing...good reminder to keep it up

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I'm game...there's definitely always room for improvement. I am drawing the line at 2 hummers a day which is what my DH would try to wrangle out of this if given the opportunity to comment.

Seriously though, I love the idea

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

This is a great idea. I have to think of 3 things...

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I'm in!

here are mine:

Make dinner tonight (I usually do on Friday night, though- does that count?)

Offer to drive to the beach tomorrow (and pray he doesn't take me up on it for all our sakes)

Not complain about how late we are running when we go to the beach.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Wow- Great post Barb!!!

I know we've all been there, or we all will be there at one time or another...

DH and I had a big blow out the other night, I'm still waiting on my apology, and it will KILL me to be nice to him...

I already do everyone as far as household chores and cooking, so I'm not sure how much more I could do...

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Thank you for this post. I rarely post on this board although I do lurk a little here and there. I needed to see this today and I am so grateful. This is really great advice and I will try my best to keep to it. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

This is incredible advice...
I'm definetly trying this, Thanks Barb.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I think this is a great idea Barb! I'm in!Here is my 3 things:


1. Clean the house top to bottom and don't complain about it.

2. Don't stress or nag him about the yard work that needs to be done.

3. Get busy

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Well, we all know how my marriage is going these days, so I'm game.

Problem is I can't do a whole lot right now while I'm recouping.

So here's my list for the weekend:

NOT to complain about the state of the house. He's doing everything right now, and I should respect that that is hard to do.

NOT to make faces when he does something differently with DS than I would.

To scratch his back when he lays down next to me to go to bed. I used to to that every night early on.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

well I already failed, kind of.

I was exhausted. The house is a mess, and I still folded and put away the laundry after working a whole day and feeding, bathing and playing with Jordana.

But I knew he would love it, so I made a very nice dinner- with some new dishes. I set the table, cleaned up the kitchen so he doesn't walk into a big mess. I told DH to call me when he was on his way so I would stick everything in the oven. He calls me he will be home in 15 minutes. An hour later he still isn't home, and not picking up his cell. When he does call me, he tells me he is just leaving his client now

I have told him a million times, I understand when he runs late, but why can't he CALL??

SO technically- I did make him the dinner- but he is eating alone so does it count?

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I am in but I am also at a point where I feel like why did I marry this man? He just irks me lately.

My 3 things

Rub his back without being asked

NO complaing or raising my voice

(TMI) but I will not say no to sex. I am usually not in the mood - tired

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

So like I said we've been making an effort, but it's along these lines so I'll play. I have to say it really has helped, we're both much happier and relaxed lately, and physically it's like when we first started dating and can't keep our hands off each other. Anyhow....

There has been a minor, but annoying, house repair that I've been nagging him to do. Sarah took a longer nap than usual today, so I did it. When he came home a little while ago he went to take care of it and I told him it was already done, which he thanked me for.

Laundry got backed up this week b/c I threw out my back on Monday. I was feeling a lot better today, so I did a few loads. When he was changing out of his work clothes he came running out of the bedroom and said "You did laundry today? You rock! I was going to stay up after you went to sleep to do it!" So that made it worth the backache.

I ordered a pie and soda for dinner and they only brought 1 soda, so I stuck it in the fridge for him to have with his slices when he got home. I know it's minor and he'll never know, but it's nice to see how relaxed he is right now.

And he brought me home a bag of M&M's (and hopefully the winning lotto ticket) to make me feel better. Which I told him was the best thing that happened today.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Thanks for posting this, ya know it made me think a little , and thats great in itself.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Posted by luvsun27

Perhaps I should look into going to therapy alone...because I feel exactly like you wrote in your post

I'm not yet at a point where I can fathom doing anything nice for DH (doesn't stand for "darling husband" in this post )

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

1. Let him go to lunch with his loser friend tomorrow.

2. Do all he housework myself and not give him dirty looks while doing so

3. Tell him he looks handsome (even though he haven't shaven in a week and I can not stand facial hair!) Wait, is lying okay?

Message edited 8/26/2007 3:58:12 PM.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Posted by Moehick
DH and I seem to do these things for each other without even knowing...good reminder to keep it up

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Ok, I'm in though I have to admit, half heartedly... I'll just suck it up.

1- make him dinner every night this week (wait isn't that 7 things right there?

2- not complain about MIL being a vindictive manipulative biotch - expect many posts from me venting instead!

3- man mani