Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I think this is an absolutely wonderful idea- especially since we have had a lot of stress lately and are due for many changes when I go back to work full time on Monday.

I will keep you posted on the results.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

This is really a great thing. I actually used it as a journal entry for myself. I have actually learned some things about myself. I am full of excuses-- For example- one of my 10 was to stop complaining about our bathroom in front of people -- and I made an excuse as to why I do it.-- a pretty good excuse, but an excuse nonetheless (I hope that's a word- sorry grammar police)
Thank you Barb-- I think this will help in more ways than one.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Great idea. I will give a try this weekend and try to report back on monday.
Now to figure out what to do lol

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Ok...we talked last night and maybe things will be better....so I try to play.

Here are my 3 things:

1. Do the laundry--he usually does this...but I hate the way he does it...it take him 3 days to complete when it could be done in 1. I already started and I'm on my 2nd load already this morning.

2. Not complain about all the things I need him to do around the house before DD's birthday. I even cleaned up the basement myself last night and he said "it looks nice...you better not have thrown away anything important" I said if it was important, I filed it, if not, I threw it away. I have been asking him to do this for weeks now...it took me an hour to do myself.

3. Make a big deal of how appreciative I am when he hangs up our new blinds in the living room today (which have been sitting here for over a week)

Maybe not the best attitude I have towards this...but I will try

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I'm not playing this weekend! I'm not at a point to do anything more for DH since all I do goes unnoticed to begin with. I think I have a virus because I've been throwing up since last night and he had the friggin nerve to tell me Roman pooped needed his diaper changed and what's for breakfast (all while sitting on his azz in front of the computer downloading songs into his ipod). I think HE NEEDS to do the WIFE experiment!

Hope you all have better experiences.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I think this is a WONDERFUL thread! Really makes you think. I only found it today and yesterday was my birthday - so DH spoiled me - so I'll try and do my 3 things today and tomorrow.

1. I told him to spend as much time with his brother (in town visiting from Florida) as he wanted today -they'll go to dinner and a bar and I'll watch DD.

2. I'll do the laundry and make the bed (his job)

3. I'll bring in acai juice and quinoa (his favorite health foods

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I'm really making an effort today becasue I thought a lot about this and I've been pretty selfish lately. And DH does so much...sometimes even more than me around the house. I;m changing my attitute right now!

I just did his laundry and even put it away! Now, if you lived in my house you would know that that is huge becuase whenever I do laundry it never makes its way back to its proper place.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

1. Made him banana pancakes this morning with whip cream and bacon

2. had sex



I'm working on #3 and #4

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Posted by CaseyGirl

Interesting...I may have to try it.

I've been through the "roommate" patch too....

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

So far I'm hanging in.

I've resisted the urge to complain about the house. I've straightened things on the sly.

I've left the room if the urge to pull a face has hit me.

And I scratched his back before bed the last two nights. Which led to some nice kissing and cuddling - something I forgot we used to do!

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

k......so.......still a little about how this will all work- do i do one thing once a week or 10 things once a week???

in either case, the other nite he gets home from work (hes a cop too)- walked in the door, i was in bed already- i never stay up for him....he had his shirt off and laid in bed- didnt touch me or anything as i have told him and told him the last few months- please get away from me...( ) so he doesnt even bother anymore....well,

i gave him tickies (you know- tickling their back- this is his favorite)..i didnt say anything just started doing it (even though i hate it, it makes my arms tired hahaha)....anyway, after im done, he turns and gives me the BEST back massage~!~~

then end.....

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

So far I'm getting the usual "I love you" & affection, nothing out of the ordinary.

I cleaned a little bit today (not enough to warrant a huge kiss) & made meatballs.

Tomorrow I"m off so in the morning, I'm going to ask his mom to help me with gardening (his mom loves it, I don't. Who wants to put their hands in dirt?)

I think that will be the home run.

eta. Summer - it's 10 things a week. The weekend was 3 things so start thinking of other things for the week.

Message edited 8/26/2007 3:40:06 PM.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

going great here!!

I made the lentil soup. Yesterday was his b-day and he was going mountain biking...so I scrubbed the bathtub and set up his ipod so he can soak in the tub and listen to his book on tape.

Instead of a b-day cake, I made a flan(his favorite)

Last night he told me incase I ever wonder, he is completely in love and thinks I am the greatest wife. Then.....he DID THE DISHES! OMG! never. never. never...and on his b-day. and while I wasn't even around to try and stop him! I was putting away clothes, come back in the room and dishes are clean!

So, I only made the soup so far on the list. I still have to offer to prune that unibrow and mail a love note to his job.

thanks barb!

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I didn't post my list...but this weekend is going GREAT. And the funny thing is he's doing nice things too!!

He made breakfast yesterday, he watched the kids while I went to a Spa Escape home party and while I was gone emptied the dishwasher and reloaded it!

He even played "cooking" with Aly and her new kitchen set.....

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

This is a great idea!

I'm thinking of giving it a try. But since it's already sunday then there's no time for me to think of 3 things and do them by the end of the day. I'll spread it out throughout the week...

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

So, I was bored, just lurking on a board I don't belong on, but I came across your post. I think you should share this on the NFR related board, I know that it will be appreciated by a lot of people.

I'm only married 1year and 1 month, and can learn from this. I just read the whole thread and I am already thinking of my three things that I want to do tonight.

1. Told him we're going to Boulder Creek for dinner (what man doesn't like a steak?!?)

2. Not nagging him to get off the computer already!!!

3. Not sure yet, but I have my ideas.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

OK, which one of you squealed to my DH?

So Friday, I did the laundry and put away everything but his exercise clothes (don't know where he keeps them ) but it went unnoticed, probably because as soon as I have enough for a load I do it so it was two shirts, and a few other things.

I made meatballs... no raves.

Saturday...
He went out to get a b-day gift for FIL and on the way back... 1. got his car washed and 2. got ME a Chai Latte

Ummmmm.... HELLO... that's what I was supposed to do. HE TOOK MY IDEAS!!!

the OBVIOUS is already going strong

I'm already doing all of the housework and cooking and with two 5 month olds in the house... it's not like I can take on any big projects.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I think a lot of the emphasis should be on things that don't take a whole lot of work. If you put too much effort into something, and he (or she) doesn't acknowledge it, it feels like wasted effort. Plus, it's the little things that come spontaneously that mean a whole lot.

Let SO have control of the TV without complaints for the evening. I never complain about her Jane Austin shows she watches...

Say "I love you" at random times throughout the day. I try to do this at least once a day, more often if I can.

Random hugs. I really like this one. Every once in a while, when we're both standing up in the same room (or if I wait for her to walk towards me), I'll just give her a hug. For no particular reason. It's amazing what that can do.

Thank yous/complements for little things. Even if it's part of their typical routine. I usually make some type of complement when DW makes a nice dinner. She makes dinner every night, but sometimes she really makes something extraordinary, and I make sure I mention it.


These things take almost no effort (we're both exhausted as it is, so any extra work is going to make us more exhausted), but the rewards are amazing. I've been trying to do this as long as I can remember.

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

I didn't do the three things I posted Friday exactly. We didn't drive anywhere together so I couldn't offer and I wasn't feeling very well on Sunday to make the cheesecake.

I did wake up Sat morning and picked up breaksfast for him from his favorite place. I also didn't complain about the dog (at least in front of hime ).

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment

Excellent job everyone (even for the ones that tried & gave up).

Next goal - how about 2 thoughtful things by Wednesday?

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment: Next goal page 4

I just wanted to add, I didnt do the 3 things that I said I would but I did other things instead and this weekend was GREAT! I didnt feel like we were roommates but sweethearts!

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment: Next goal page 4

I did 2 of the 3 things on Saturday and on Sunday DH made me breakfast which was nice.

Im in for Wendsday .

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment: Next goal page 4

Is it too late to play? I have not been on much, but I would love to join in!

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment: Next goal page 4

Its monday.

I wasnt ready to do this completely this weekend.

I'll play

I need time to think about what I should do though.....

Re: The Husband (or Wife) Experiment: Next goal page 4

I didn't list the 10 things... I'll have to work on it.

3 thoughtful things by Wednesday....

I agreed without flipping out that he can take Thursday and go the Boston/Yank game, and leave me home with the kids while I work from home.

Honestly... I have to think about the 2 others.