Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I do it all work (men/woman) and yes i do think housework is more hardwired for women but that is how I was raised. If my husband becomes a stay at home dad or has less hours at work he better pick up the slack.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

DH and I are both feminists and would both strongly disagree. This doesn't mean a woman shouldn't do any housework...just be reasonable on how the couple divides it. I do more housework now, but I am also not working at the moment. When I return back to work in the summer, DH will probably take on most of the work.

DH grew up in a household with a mom who was chronically ill for the last 17 years of her life, and his father instilled in him it's not about doing "50/50"...it's putting 100% effort into everything that you have, including basic chores. If your best is getting out of the bed in the morning (as it was some days for DH's mom), then that's a good day. We carry the same values into our own relationship and how we split everything we do; we see what needs to be done, and if we have the ability to clean/fix/whatever it, we just do it. The only thing this doesn't apply to is scrubbing the tub; I can't do that right now (too many fumes for a 9 month pregnant lady) and have to ask DH repeatedly to do it .

Message edited 1/31/2011 9:39:31 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I don't agree with that statement, but I do in fact do most of the housework.

We both work FT and do the day to day chores (dish washer, garbage).

But the 1x week big cleans-dusting, mopping, bathrooms, etc are on me. He never thinks of it and really doesn't know how.

I also fold all the wash-I like it folded a certain way.

He vacuums (upon request-apparently, his eye sight is soooo bad, he cannot see the floor needs it )

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I agree with the statement - for me. I do it better.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

In our house, it's OUR collective responsibility because we have no interest in living in filth. But it changes. DH had a very busy schedule over the holidays so I took over just about everything. Then he got laid off recently, so now I'm much busier working more OT to support us. So the housework is being done mostly by him now. It depends on what's going on in our lives at the moment but regardless it never falls on either of us to do 100% of the work.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

i grew up in a house where my dad cooked and did laundry and helped us with our homework... my mom did the cleaning and took care of the finances...

Shaun and i both do everything...

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

no way. We share in everything. Just becasue i'm female doesn't mean i have to do all of the cleaning, cooking etc. I cook(b/c DH tried to a few times and it was horrible) He cleans up the kitchen afterwards. We all take turns with the laundry and whoever isn't totally exhausted at night finishes up the daily cleaning but alot of times we share that also.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Yea, that's definitely NOT how it works in my household...although I am sure DH would prefer it that way. DH does more than I do because I am useless with housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

We kinda put it this way... I do the inside work, he does the outside work. We help each other when someone has more than the other. i don't like the way DH cleans, he does a horrible job cause he doesn't care and is blind to dust and dirt. But we have landscaper, my list is always longer and we both work fill times jobs and both work overtime. We start our new cleaning lady this week... he thought it would be better for me that way

I guess i feel like its my responsibility because I am the one who cares more about how clean the house is.
But.. he can't cook either. He does the garbage and the shoveling and other guy stuff. altho, with all this snow, I definitely help shovel, usually he tells me to relax in side, but with all this snow I have been out there with him.

Message edited 1/31/2011 9:50:05 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

This makes me so angry. This is how my DH was raised- the women cook and clean and the men smoke and drink. Not in my house, honey!

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I work less hours than DH so I do the majority of the housework. I feel whoever works less should do it,

Message edited 1/31/2011 9:51:45 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I'll answer with whatever works in your relationship.

But for me, what works is shared responsibility.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I am responsible for the cooking since Dh can not cook at all. He does the cleaning of the rest of the house, because I hate it, but I take care of the kitchen - that is my domain.
Laundry we do together b/c we live in an apt.
If I am ever a SAHM, then I will take on the responsibility of the cleaning, but that is my choice.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

i think every couple does what works for them.
I started working only 3 days a week in the fall (we don't have kids, so its not because of that-- just a bunch of tough job situations that led to it)
BUT, because of that, now i do most of the housework, as far as cleaning and errands and stuff. Even when i was working full time i did most of it, too. i get home like an hour before DH so i would just do some stuff every day before he got home. I'm also definitely very anal about how it gets done, so its just easier for me to do it all. I get satisfaction of having a nice clean organized house. and DH grew up with a SAHM who took care of all of that, too- so he appreciates all that i do.
I also help with the outside stuff, too since i'm home 2 extra days a week. i rake leaves, shovel snow, do weeding in the yard, take recyclables to the recycling center ( they do pick it up at our house, but its right across the street, so its just easier to take it there instad of waiting for them to pick it up).
HAHA DHs friends say to him " How do you get her to help with all the outside stuff??" LOL to me, its just all part of having a house... and if i want it to look nice, I have to do what it takes to get it that way...

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I was raised that it's the woman's job to take care of the house, even if she works full time. Is it fair? Probably not...but it's just how things are done and how I was taught.

Luckily I have a DH who doesn't have such a narrow view of things, and he does help out a great deal if it is needed. It's nice to have the assistance, but in the end, I know that it's mostly my job to do the cooking & cleaning in our household. He does do the laundry though.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Heck no. DH and I both have full time jobs, we split the chores.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I'm not surprised when people say things like "the woman is responsible for the household." If I'm not cooking dinner for DH, my mom says "But how is he going to eat!??!?!?" Therefore, I'm not surprised that these sorts of opinions still exist.

In this house, we split responsibilities equally, and we'll teach our future children to do the same. However, I'm not bothered by people who think women should do all the housework...unless it's my DH who says it.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Posted by MrsS6510

I do most of the work around the house in terms of cleaning and whatnot. But DH does all of the yard work and shoveling. I'm also very OCD about the inside of the house and even when DH DOES do it, I feel he doesn't do it good enough

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

DH was raised in a house like that however his dad helped with cooking. When we moved in together, he learned to clean very quickly. he scrubbed the bathtup yesterday like a pro.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

It completely depends on the household's individual circumstances. I think that the partner who works less should take up more of the work load. For example, DH works really long hours and I work PT so I do almost all the house work. However, DH does all the heavy labor and certain chores that I absolutely hate ( cleaning the litter box).

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I disagree, although I do most of it, DH takes care of everything outside (shoveling, yardwork, etc) I think its up to the individuals how they want to to divy up their chores and and no one should judge that...