Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I used to strongly believe that housework was women's work and that the woman should be responsible for keeping the house clean, cooking, doing laundy, basically everything.

Then about 3 years ago I got married and realized this is a bunch of bull. Why should I work full time, get home from work, cook and clean, put laundry away, etc while my husband goes to work the same hours that I do and then comes home to sit on the couch???

Message edited 1/31/2011 10:56:58 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

DH and I split a lot of chores (dishes, cooking, laundry), but he's a guy and wouldn't give a second thoughts to the dust bunny tumbleweed rolling by if it got that bad. So usually the more hard cleaning chores (dusting, mopping, vacuuming, etc.) falls on me. But it all evens out and if I asked him to do something like vacuuming he would no problem.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I slightly agree.

I do feel like it is my responsibilty & reflects on me, but just because I am repsonsible for it, doens't mean I do it all.. Just like my manger is responsible for our departmet's work and she doesn't do it all herself.

I have delegated laundry, grocery shopping, & dishes to DH. He has voluntarily picked up cooking out of his desire to further his skills (and to not eat at 9 pm!).

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

My DH can't even spell housework

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

It depends on who gets home first - if DH does then he will start to cook and clean up - if I am home first then I will.
I think once I am on maternity leave, then I feel that it is my resposiblity to do it all as part of taking care of the baby
Also there are just somethings that I am OCD about cleaning and how it is done and DH is not that way - therefore I will take those chores and do them myself and never ask him to do them
He does the laundry, dishes, takes out trash and cooks without being asked, so I couldn't be happier with that!!

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

My DH helps me around the house but there are certain things he just won't do..for example, clean the bathroom or laundry...but he has no problem with doing other things like vacuuming or mopping the floors...which is fine with me. I know a lot of people in my family that think that the woman is responsible for ALL housework...I think that is wrong..I see nothing wrong with the DH helping any way he can.

Message edited 1/31/2011 10:58:41 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Oh heck no!

Whoever makes the mess cleans it up. SD is in on this too...she must clean up after herself.

Now...I'm not saying our house is clean, its not...but we both made this mess, so we'll both put in the work to clean it up...end of story.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Message edited 1/31/2011 11:10:34 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Back in my younger days, at least in our house, it was more common for the woman to do the housework while the man went off to work. My mom was a SAHM (housewife in those days) and she did most of the housework. My dad did a lot of handy work.

In this day and age of two-paycheck families, both the DW and DH should split the chores. I cook and clean the kitchen and we both do laundry. We should mop, sweep, dust, and vacuum more often, though.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Personally, I don't agree with that statement even though that's all that I see. And I see the fights it can cause. Hell, it caused mountains of problems in my marriage because it was about lack of respect for me. (FOR ME, not about any of you, I am writing just about me )

People need to do whatever works in their home...but if I ever live with a guy again (please no), if he can't pull his own weight, he can get out.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

DH's job allows him to be home every other day. I work M-F / 9 hr days / and commute 45 min each way. So w/all that said, he def does more house work than I do throughout the week.

I do feel as though it is both of our responsibilities, but I know that if I were a SAHW, I would do the majority of the house work not so much b/c I feel its my job but b/c I am a bit of a control freak.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

My DH is great and does a lot of cleaning. I always do the dishes since he has excema and the water makes it flare up. He usually does the vacuuming. We take turns with everything else.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Hellz no.
I work full time. He works full time.
Why should I have 2 full time jobs and he only has one?
We can share the chores.
This isn't 1952.

ETA- When I was laid off for a month a few years ago, I had more time on my hands than he did. So yes, I did more around the house.
But when we are both working the same hours, why shoudl it be my job just because I have 2 X chromosomes?
Makes no sense....

Message edited 1/31/2011 11:43:48 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I was raised that the woman should do the housework/cooking. DH was raised in an Italian Family and they feel the same. For us, it just works this way - but like I said, that's for "US." I don't necessarily think it SHOULD be this way for everyone, it would depend on circumstances.

With that being said, DH is great and helps out here or there plus he's in charge of fixing things, yard work, etc. so I think it's an even trade.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I married a guy who has said "I don't care what this place looks like as long as you don't as me to help out"

I need it clean. I itch when it isn't. I drive him crazy, he takes off a hat and I put it away instantly. He goes for it 30 mins later and hates that it isn't where he left it.

I don't know any men in my family that do housework.

I have a working mom friend who hand her husband a chore list on friday nights...that need to be completed by the time he sits for football on sunday.

DH thinks this is insane.
Believe me, if I were working, this would not be okay. It would be a real problem. I have the time now to clean, so I do.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

On a funny note, when DH vacuums or does some other domestic chore he feels like it takes forever. Reality is we can clean the house in amount 90 mins total. He sees vacuuming as an hour long event. Heck even loading the dishwasher takes FOREVER and he doesn't have that kind of time.

He has to rest after doing something for 15 mins. (read: gets distracted by his phone, computer, TV). Not that he doesn't do it, it' just like pulling teeth.

Then if the house is a mess he is digusted by it and then until I start cleaning, he won't.
Thanks for letting me vent!

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

As long as my DH lives in the home he can help keep it clean and tidy!

Its only womans work if she's the only one making the mess.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

As a SAHM , yes I am responsible. If we both worked full time, then I would expect the chorse to be split

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I can see certain scenarios where perhaps this would apply, if I were a SAHM and DH worked, I would personally feel responsible to do my part around the house. Even if I worked part time I would feel as though I should do more around the house. DH & I have an hour commute and work basically the same hours. For the most part we share the chores. However, if he were a SAHD or worked part time while I worked FT, I would expect him to do a bulk of the chores.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I grew up with Gender roles very apparent. my mom was a SAHM mom and took care of the house. My father was never taught a thing about how to take care or clean up after himself..so my mother has been doing that for 30+ years.

I was taught how to clean my room, make my bed, do laundry, etc. My brother..never had to do shi**. Before i left for school about JH age, my bed had to be made. My brother..not so much. and we shared a room until I was about 13.

My mom used to get ****** that my brother wouldnt clean his room, or just the fact that he was a slob, but she never taught him how to..just like my father was never taught how.

DH and I are good about sharing chores. DH is a neat freak and so am I. He does a lot of heavy chores and the yard work. I do the cleaning around the house, bathrooms, laundry. I cannot complain..Dh is very good about helping with these things. B/c his mama taught him how to clean up after himself.

Message edited 1/31/2011 1:03:16 PM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

absolutely not! We both work and we both split housework 50/50