Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I don't agree, but I think society in general still sees it that way. Even though we both work full time if our house looks like crap, they're not going to think he's slacking, it's going to be on me.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

This is why we have a cleaning lady!

I do ALL the cooking and cleaning up after dinner

DH does all the laundry.

We leave all the cleaning up to the cleaning lady.

Now that its tax season and DH is an accountant I do mostly all of it.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I used to have a sign in my kitchen that said

"If God had wanted me to cook and clean I would have been born with Stainless Steel Hands"!

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I don't necessarily think it's the woman's "job" but I was raised in an old school Italian household where the woman feel responsible for the inside and the men for the outside.

I do most of the inside work and DH does the outside but we also share those responsibilites. He will do laundry or dishes and I will shovel, if one of us doesn't have time, the other helps out. I also like things done a specific way inside so most of the time, it's just easier for me to do it.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Depends on the situation. I stay home during the week, work from home in the evenings (my own schedule) and work out of the home on weekends. DH works all week, comes home and takes care of the kids, cooks. I try to get most of the house stuff done, but he never complains and takes the initiative to do what he can. We split it pretty evenly, and he understands that the kids are CRAZY during the day and it can be hard for me to get things done.

I do mow the lawn and fix things in the house, probably better than he does. I'll never forget the time I asked him to hang a picture that was too heavy for me, and he couldnt figure out how to work the screw gun. Silly man - he didnt know there was a battery that needed to be put in I do all that stuff - fixing, painting, hanging, etc.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I voted "slightly agree" because I am a SAHM and DH works LONG hours. I do the majority of the housework. I would never expect him to come home from work and scrub the bathrooms

However, when it comes to laundry and the outside of the house stuff, he does most of it. He does the landscaping, the garbage, the snow shoveling etc.

But as for day to day stuff, I do 98% of it, and I do not mind. I am a SAHM and IMO, that comes with the territory.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I would say we split up the tasks pretty evenly, i usually do dishes and clean the kitchen, bathrooms, sweep & mop... DH does the laundry the most of the time (since most of it is his) and he will mow the lawn, and also on his days off he will run errands if need be

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Posted by Tilde

In my household, the woman (me) is responsible for the housework.

In my mother's household, my mother does it. In my sister's household, my sister does it. In my MIL's household, my MIL does it and so on. In some households the men are responsible for the housework. In my life, those people only live inside my computer.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I don't agree, but I get it. Woman tend to have a better judgement of organization and how to make a house feel like a home. And it is often easier than teaching the man how to do it. LOL.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I think it should be divided equally unless there is a SAH parent or one partner has a lot more free time than the other (shorter commute or part-time job). Then that partner would do a lot of the housework (but not all).

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

ITA w/this. If I didn't work I would do the majority of the housework but I work FT so DH and I split the chores.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I do agree with this in the sense that I have my responsibilies and dh has his.

he was outside shoveling in this snow. Not me. though I would help him without a problem.

just as he helps me inside too.

I think as long as there is mutual love and respect for what each person does, there is nothing wrong with having assigned responsibilities.

it doesn't make me any less of a woman b/c I feel like cleaning my house and cooking for my family is my responsibility.

it does make me much often disappointed though.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Posted by Tilde

In my household, the woman (me) is responsible for the housework.

In my mother's household, my mother does it. In my sister's household, my sister does it. In my MIL's household, my MIL does it and so on. In some households the men are responsible for the housework. In my life, those people only live inside my computer.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I dont agree, but I think it tends to fall on the women's shoulders mostly regardless. DH does a good amount of housework but alot of the times it's half-a$$ed and usually I have to ask him to do it, not him just go and clean up. My DH doesnt get the argument that he does the outdoor stuff because we live in a condo so there is nothing but shoveling (which is a lot lately).

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Posted by juanvi

Posted by Tilde

In my household, the woman (me) is responsible for the housework.

In my mother's household, my mother does it. In my sister's household, my sister does it. In my MIL's household, my MIL does it and so on. In some households the men are responsible for the housework. In my life, those people only live inside my computer.

I swore I wouldn't marry an italian man bc I was not going to be that way in my own home. Well...I didn't marry an italian but I still do all the work. I'm sahm for the year but I normally work. I insisted on a cleaning lady for my sanity. My dh is just too lazy and I'm too much of a control freak. I really think it was how you're raised.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

i'll be one of the few who says i strongly agree..for me though, not necessarily for others

i've always had very strong gender roles i suppose..there are male jobs/female jobs around the house, and cooking and cleaning fall into the female job..

and this is coming from somebody who does work a full time job, and when i did live with my ex-fh, i had dinner hot on the table every night the sec. he walked in the door..

idk im weird though with stuff like that-i think i was born in the wrong decade sometimes

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Posted by juanvi

Posted by Tilde

In my household, the woman (me) is responsible for the housework.

In my mother's household, my mother does it. In my sister's household, my sister does it. In my MIL's household, my MIL does it and so on. In some households the men are responsible for the housework. In my life, those people only live inside my computer.

This is how I was raised and I loathed it. You're lucky you have a sister bc I had 2 younger princes ...I mean brothers and they did nothing.I fought with my parents tooth and nail about it. I swore I wouldn't marry an italian man bc I was not going to be that way in my own home. Well...I didn't marry an italian but I still do all the work. I'm sahm for the year but I normally work. I insisted on a cleaning lady for my sanity. My dh is just too lazy and I'm too much of a control freak. I really think it was how you're raised.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I don't know if I agree with it, but I do all the housework because I am home more. DH works full time and I work perdiem. If I am at work and I ask him to throw in the laundry or something he will gladly do it. We both love to cook so usually we fight over who gets to cook!

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

DH does all the housework for the most part. I am a lucky lady.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I'd like to say it should be 50/50, but DH definitely does more around the house than I do... but he cares more about it, so that makes sense.

I'll never forget the time we were at a friend's house for dinner, and she was telling me how lucky I am that my DH cooks. All I could think was that if the roles were reversed, and I did the majority of the cooking, I highly doubt that anyone would tell him that HE was lucky. It's still expected (unfortunately.)

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by juanvi

Posted by Tilde

In my household, the woman (me) is responsible for the housework.

In my mother's household, my mother does it. In my sister's household, my sister does it. In my MIL's household, my MIL does it and so on. In some households the men are responsible for the housework. In my life, those people only live inside my computer.

I swore I wouldn't marry an italian man bc I was not going to be that way in my own home. Well...I didn't marry an italian but I still do all the work. I'm sahm for the year but I normally work. I insisted on a cleaning lady for my sanity. My dh is just too lazy and I'm too much of a control freak. I really think it was how you're raised.

For the record I DID marry an Italian and it is not like this in our house.
It definitely is how you are raised vs any particular ethnicity.
I agree....

Message edited 1/31/2011 5:09:13 PM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Posted by tourist

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by juanvi

Posted by Tilde

In my household, the woman (me) is responsible for the housework.

In my mother's household, my mother does it. In my sister's household, my sister does it. In my MIL's household, my MIL does it and so on. In some households the men are responsible for the housework. In my life, those people only live inside my computer.

I swore I wouldn't marry an italian man bc I was not going to be that way in my own home. Well...I didn't marry an italian but I still do all the work. I'm sahm for the year but I normally work. I insisted on a cleaning lady for my sanity. My dh is just too lazy and I'm too much of a control freak. I really think it was how you're raised.

For the record I DID marry an Italian and it is not like this in our house.
It definitely is how you are raised vs any particular ethnicity.
I agree....

My grandfather came here as a child from Italy & he did all the grocery shopping for my grandma from 1946
(when she became a mom) untill he broke his hip a few years before he died, so it's not ALL old school Italians!

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

It's split 50/50. I will cook most nights since I get home about an hour before DH. He does the outside stuff because I'm too gimpy to do any of it.

He helps with laundry, sheets, etc. and doing dishes. He will do what I ask, however, he won't always do it WHEN I want him to do it or HOW I want him to do it... if that's the case it's better for everyone's sanity if I do it myself, so I do.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I don't agree that housework is entirely a woman's responsibility. I tend to be the one who takes initiative to do housework, but he will do whatever I ask, and we have specific chores. I dust, he vacuums, we both do laundry (him when he runs out of socks or when I ask him to do something). I tend to cook dinner, b/c I'm home much earlier, but he cleans up (and then I clean up after him ).

I think that often, it is more in the woman's nature to feel the responsibility for the presentation of the household, like it will reflect more on her than DH if the house isn't neat and clean.

Message edited 1/31/2011 6:25:37 PM.