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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
While I agree with most of the message of your post, I have seen many parents (on this board as well) experience horrific tragedies.
While I don't necessarily follow their instructions carte blanche, I admire their passion for it & cannot fault them. I don't see their posts as holier than thou, but more along the lines of please, please don't let anyone else experience the pain I've been through.
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Posted 4/9/10 12:25 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by missrock
time to let this topic go.
I agree, hence my post.  it goes both ways, don't you think?
as an aside, this isn't just directed at your comments. I've seen it on other boards this week too.
I am holier than thou if I don't beat my husband, if I speak with incredible emotion, if I am crazy about safety, if I don't vaccinate like everyone else...yadda yadda yadda.
it's just tiring. which I am sure also goes both ways.
but again, not directed at you specifically...but yeah, since you used the phrase, generically speaking, it's unfair.
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:26 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
I could not agree more....people IMHO want to throw out the holier than thou card when they have some guilt about what they are doing, that is MY perception
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:27 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by nrthshgrl
While I agree with most of the message of your post, I have seen many parents (on this board as well) experience horrific tragedies.
While I don't necessarily follow their instructions carte blanche, I admire their passion for it & cannot fault them. I don't see their posts as holier than thou, but more along the lines of please, please don't let anyone else experience the pain I've been through.
I agree with you. completely. the idea that something could happen to my son as a result of my (in)action or something I could have done is the biggest motivating factor for everything I do. (again, not doing all the "right" things for the sake of doing them, as it sometimes implied)
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:28 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by DRMom
I do have to say I DON'T feel like this regarding putting an infant forward facing or an 8 month old. That is just plain, reckless IMO. And I will shout it from the Empire State Building....anyone who has done this and not had an accident should be thanking their lucky stars every day...
we MUST be sisters  I agree with you Mel 
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:29 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
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Melissa
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
why are we debating carseats again in the thread? Oh geez!
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:29 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by missrock
time to let this topic go.
why?
you know the motto "don't like it, don't read it"
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:30 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Eh, I think you also have to take into consideration the fact that people are typing - You can't see anyone's face, you can't hear their tone .......
and although some may just be stating what 'they' do (obviously b/c we all are doing what we feel is best for our kids) you have to admit, others tend to come off as if they're standing on sky high soap boxes .........
But really, when it comes down to it, if you post or lurk often enough, you pretty much know the overall tone and direction the board goes in - so, I'm not going to post something that I KNOW 95% of people are going to disagree with ........it's only to cause drama -
I'm going to keep that one all to myself b/c I've made a decision I'm comfortable with, and I don't need anyone else to pat me on the back and tell me I did the 'right' thing, or 'educate' me about why I didn't and then say "well, to each his own" (that is seriously my most DESPISED saying)
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:31 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by eddiesmommy
why are we debating carseats again in the thread? Oh geez!
probably because the holier than thou comment was made in that post
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:32 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by eddiesmommy
why are we debating carseats again in the thread? Oh geez!
because this thread(correct me if I'm wrong O, was sort of a spinoff of that thread)
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:32 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by MarisaK
you have to admit, others tend to come off as if they're standing on sky high soap boxes .........
I think though that this could also be internalizing as well. it's all about perception and you can't control the way people "read" you either.
Posted by MarisaK
b/c I've made a decision I'm comfortable with, and I don't need anyone else to pat me on the back and tell me I did the 'right' thing, or 'educate' me about why I didn't
this is the key. I make every decision using my own yard stick to measure by, no one elses, and that is why at the end of the day, I don't care if you think I am a terrible mom b/c I don't buy luce presents or insane b/c he sleeps in my bed etc.
to quote "the man" 'I do what I likes and I likes what I do' (bill clinton, or really, snl's version of our esteemed president  )
Posted by MarisaK
then say "well, to each his own" (that is seriously my most DESPISED saying)
I just had to here.
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:38 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
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Gina
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by DRMom
Posted by eddiesmommy
why are we debating carseats again in the thread? Oh geez!
because this thread(correct me if I'm wrong O, was sort of a spinoff of that thread)
oooo sorry.....I don't even know the specific thread you are referring to.....
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:38 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by eddiesmommy
why are we debating carseats again in the thread? Oh geez!
probably because the holier than thou comment was made in that post
no, no, I know why, I was kidding. I just meant I thought this post was for holier than though discussions and the other was for the carseats. Should we just start one new one, have it pinned and we can go to town on both topics in one post, simultaneously? 
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:41 PM |
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by DRMom
SO MANY on this board read a post and like you said-feel bad or guilty about what they have/haven't done. Then it gets extrapolated to the poster "thinks they are perfect" or "holier than thou." Its all internalizing. You have to make your decisions and feel comfortable with them. Then when people post things opposite to yours you will not feel this because you made the best decision for you and your family.
I do have to say I DON'T feel like this regarding putting an infant forward facing or an 8 month old. That is just plain, reckless IMO. And I will shout it from the Empire State Building....anyone who has done this and not had an accident should be thanking their lucky stars every day...
ITA with this.
Honestly, we all do what we feel is best for our kids. I personally would rather someone give me the facts and let me make an educated decision than pat me on the back and tell me what I want to hear. It does not make the poster "holier than thou", it means they care enough to tell me that something may be safer or there may be another way. Once I have the facts, I do what I feel is best for my child. And I know darn well for the next 18 years, there will always be people doing it differently and I will make plenty of mistakes. It is what it is.
However, I can see where some people feel that they are getting beaten up on. I think it is all in the wording because unfortunately, unlike real life, you cannot tell how something is supposed to be taken when you don't have tone, facial expressions and other mannerisms. This is a chat forum. People have to realize that if you say things a certain way, people might react.
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:43 PM |
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missrock
Beautiful!!!!
Member since 5/06 3808 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
I guess some people are starting to show their true colors.
I never start drama...ever, but this is really out of hand.
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:44 PM |
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NoStressMom
My Heart and Soul
Member since 5/05 11122 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by DPerotti
It's Friday! 
Amen
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:46 PM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
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MrsDrMatt
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Listen people I have to go to lunch now.... Please go back to your corners for about 35 minutes. I have a lot of work to do so I don't have the time to catch up when I return.
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:47 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by missrock
I guess some people are starting to show their true colors.
I never start drama...ever, but this is really out of hand.
Talk about internalizing - you seem to think that the OP was solely referring to your other thread, not the case. not sure why some are allowed to post their opinions / feelings / rants/ raves, etc and others not. There is no "drama" we are having a discussion. No one is required to participate.....
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:49 PM |
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MAC222
LIF Adult
Member since 12/08 3860 total posts
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by pinkandblue
I could not agree more....people IMHO want to throw out the holier than thou card when they have some guilt about what they are doing, that is MY perception
This is SO TRUE, experienced it firsthand myself a couple of months ago...
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| Posted 4/9/10 12:57 PM |
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BAM 2009
I am who I am!!!
Member since 5/09 6081 total posts
Name:
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Message edited 4/9/2010 8:16:23 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/10 1:26 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by Rusty213
But there is no guarantee that the baby can't be severely hurt any way. Accidents are so unpredictable. .
of course there is no guarantee but it is a fact that rear facing is safer, you cannot argue that
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| Posted 4/9/10 1:32 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
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Mama Cranky
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by Rusty213
ITA 100%. I don't think ANYONE on that thread "attacked" the original poster for wanting to turn her child a few weeks before he turns 2....it was the 8 month old comment and the person the other poster knew that NEVER had their infant rear-facing that was alarming/concerning to myself and others.
And the baby is now a healthy 16 year old...
I understand the reason of rear facing a baby in a car seat. But there is no guarantee that the baby can't be severely hurt any way. Accidents are so unpredictable. If the car is hit in just the right spot, it isn't going to matter which way the baby is facing. Same thing for an adult wearing a seat belt. Unfortunately if something bad is going to happen, its going to happen. God forbid...
Oh for crying out loud.
Can you not see how that is tempting fate? There are generations of people who did not ride rear facing and lived to talk about it. BUT we now know better and since we KNOW better, why not DO better?
Just because it worked out okay previously despite the dangers does not make it a valid argument to keep doing it
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| Posted 4/9/10 1:35 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
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Gina
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
OK, this is dating my DH, but he HELD his sister in his arms when they brought her home from the hospital......there was no carseat!
DH says these stupid things to me all the time.
I tell him that his mother smoked when she was pregnant with him and his sister so can I light up right now??????
Kinda shuts him up a bit, but he still insists that we live in too much of a bubble, which in some ways I agree with, but not with safety standards.
And I will be honest, DS was turned at 1, before the "law" changed.....I didn't turn him back.......
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| Posted 4/9/10 1:39 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by missrock
I guess some people are starting to show their true colors.
I never start drama...ever, but this is really out of hand.
Talk about internalizing - you seem to think that the OP was solely referring to your other thread, not the case. not sure why some are allowed to post their opinions / feelings / rants/ raves, etc and others not. There is no "drama" we are having a discussion. No one is required to participate.....
Agreed...I wasn't even thinking of the other post when I responded to this one.
I was actually this time thnking of a few instances where I was adamant about my reluctance to give my children hotdogs/lollipops and or food in the car and I was discussed as were some others ( multiple threads , multiple times, not a specific thread) as "too cautious"...And some comments from the opposing side were extremly defensive in an attacking manner.
I find that ridiculous. I don't care what other people do or don't do, My opinion might be that I wish they would do what I do, but if they don't..oh well...doesn't make them a bad parent....but why is it so wrong to be obsessive about some things if it's stemming from the want to protect your child?
Soemtimes it seems people are attacked here just as much for doing "too much" .
No one is Holier then Thou for having a differing opinion about/regarding things lile safety etc.
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| Posted 4/9/10 1:40 PM |
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
I learned a long time ago that if you are waiting for approval from people on LIF you will be waiting a MIGHTY long time
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| Posted 4/9/10 1:41 PM |
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