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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Thanks Cranky  It is a lost cause at this point with this poster   To use your logic, Rusty, why bother using a carseat at all then? Just let them sit in the car with no seat since But there is no guarantee that the baby can't be severely hurt any way. Accidents are so unpredictable. If the car is hit in just the right spot, it isn't going to matter which way the baby is facing. Same thing for an adult wearing a seat belt. Unfortunately if something bad is going to happen, its going to happen. God forbid.. according to you.
And FTR, you failed to mention in the other thread that one of the babies you referred to in the last thread is now 16 years old...I'd venture to say the carseat laws were different back then...they have EVOLVED since then (as have carseats) due to accident studies and research to help PREVENT more serious injuries and death WHEN USED PROPERLY!! So for all I know (since I didn't have a baby 16 years ago ) the rear-facing laws were completely different back then.
Message edited 4/9/2010 1:48:31 PM.
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Posted 4/9/10 1:47 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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BAM 2009
I am who I am!!!
Member since 5/09 6081 total posts
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Message edited 4/9/2010 8:15:44 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/10 1:47 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by Rusty213
I agree with everyone. But it still doesn't give anyone the right to make another person feel bad for their choice. If someone posts a question on here, it should be answered. People shouldn't post how they wouldn't do something because of whatever reason. Or how it is SO wrong to do something. Nobody is perfect. And no baby product is 100% safe!
On that note...I am done with this topic. I now know to keep my mouth shut. I think I will stick to asking questions to people I really know. 
really? There would be no boards if people werent responding telling what they would or wouldnt do. People always reference themselves , its how we relate to each other. And if it is wrong, based on studies etc, why is it so bad to say it? No one is forcing someones arm to do something.
Just b/c no product is 100% safe, is there something wrong with aiming towards as safe as possible? Cause thats whats yoru tone implies? ( but as noted, tone is a hard thing to understand when written  )
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| Posted 4/9/10 1:54 PM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by nbc188
Thanks Cranky It is a lost cause at this point with this poster To use your logic, Rusty, why bother using a carseat at all then? Just let them sit in the car with no seat since But there is no guarantee that the baby can't be severely hurt any way. Accidents are so unpredictable. If the car is hit in just the right spot, it isn't going to matter which way the baby is facing. Same thing for an adult wearing a seat belt. Unfortunately if something bad is going to happen, its going to happen. God forbid.. according to you.
And FTR, you failed to mention in the other thread that one of the babies you referred to in the last thread is now 16 years old...I'd venture to say the carseat laws were different back then...they have EVOLVED since then (as have carseats) due to accident studies and research to help PREVENT more serious injuries and death WHEN USED PROPERLY!! So for all I know (since I didn't have a baby 16 years ago ) the rear-facing laws were completely different back then.
Just to add one point here, which bears keeping in mind; when we were kids, even you youngies on here, most people drove cars. You know, sedans. Maybe the occasional station wagon.
Take a look around in traffic today - there are 3 minivan/suv/hummers for every little Toyota Camry. With a few rare exceptions our mega machines can do a lot more damage than the good old sedans of yore.
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| Posted 4/9/10 1:55 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by colette
Just to add one point here, which bears keeping in mind; when we were kids, even you youngies on here, most people drove cars. You know, sedans. Maybe the occasional station wagon.
Take a look around in traffic today - there are 3 minivan/suv/hummers for every little Toyota Camry. With a few rare exceptions our mega machines can do a lot more damage than the good old sedans of yore.
Excellent point.
But the bottom line is, many people survived those years where we didn't have XYZ laws, but what about all the children and adults who did NOT? To use this excuse is simply a cop out. Laws are made to keep us SAFER than people were in the PAST, since we are more educated and advanced now as a society.
I just don't see why people insist on bringing up the "stone ages" when it comes to their child's well being and safety. 
Message edited 4/9/2010 2:20:50 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/10 2:18 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
What happened to the other thread? Did it spiral out of control until pulled...and I missed it? I hate missing all the excitement.
Message edited 4/9/2010 2:29:42 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/10 2:21 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
It's b/c it's what I feel is RIGHT. it's not being HOLIER THAN THOU. it's about being the parent I want to be and you can't make me feel badly about that by implying I am trying to be "better than" you.
I dont' care about YOU. I care about my son. and doing all that I can. and I sit tight in that. well in that. and only wish I could do MORE.
**ETA: I love you Hayley
I think the "holier than thou" thing comes from the fact that you advise others, but then admit that you don't care about them. So then it is to be assumed that your motives for telling others what to do is not to help them and thus will possibly be conceived as "holier than thou."
I did not see the original post so I am just guessing.
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| Posted 4/9/10 2:29 PM |
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ME75
Member since 10/06 4563 total posts
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by hbugal
Get used to it...
Things dont get any easier. Just wait til you join or dont join the PTA. You think LIF is bad...
Ive been a parent for 16 years....
There is always someone out there who is going to try and "out parent" you in one way or another....
If I have learned one thing in the past 16 years its this:
"The AAP is going to change their views on things a bagillion times over the years. What is recommended now may not be recommended next year and certainly NOT in 10 years. Laws are going to be created...recommendations are going to be made..the FDA is going to say one thing one minute and change their stance a few times sometimes according to what appears to be public opinion. You will be judged and accused of doing to much or not doing enough. For being too strict or not strict enough..for over scheduling activities or not participating enough. When all is said and done you have to do what works for you and for your family and hope for the best."
i like this...so true.
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| Posted 4/9/10 2:30 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
I would also like to point out that I do believe some threads can spiral out of control due to the language that is used.
If you start a question by saying "would I be a bad mom if..."... chances are at some point, there will be someone who replies "YES, I think that would make you a bad mom".
I also think that if you start a thread with a question phrased in this way, you already know that it probably is not the right decision.
Because people's opinions can be so strong, I would avoid asking questions that start with "would this make me a bad mommy".
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| Posted 4/9/10 2:36 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by Rusty213
I agree with everyone. But it still doesn't give anyone the right to make another person feel bad for their choice. If someone posts a question on here, it should be answered. People shouldn't post how they wouldn't do something because of whatever reason. Or how it is SO wrong to do something. Nobody is perfect. And no baby product is 100% safe!
On that note...I am done with this topic. I now know to keep my mouth shut. I think I will stick to asking questions to people I really know.
I disagree-people didn't post on that thread to make the OP feel badly. People posted so that others would understand why it is dangerous to turn a seat early.
I'm not going to pump someone up about a bad idea just so they feel good-especially when talking them out of the idea could prevent a horrible event (and, I'm not talking about the OP on that thread, I'm more referring to the case you brought up of the baby who was never rear facing).
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| Posted 4/9/10 2:54 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by nbc188
And FTR, you failed to mention in the other thread that one of the babies you referred to in the last thread is now 16 years old...I'd venture to say the carseat laws were different back then...they have EVOLVED since then (as have carseats) due to accident studies and research to help PREVENT more serious injuries and death WHEN USED PROPERLY!! So for all I know (since I didn't have a baby 16 years ago ) the rear-facing laws were completely different back then.
ITA. I really don't understand the logic of using situations and advice given 16 years ago when laws, studies and recommendations may have been different to justify doing things today that have been shown to be unsafe. If PP actually mentioned that this was done 16 years ago, I doubt people would've been so shocked and concerned.
Products and safety guidelines are constantly evolving. We all do what we think is best for our children. I think it's important though for parents to have the most updated information on which to base their decisions.
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| Posted 4/9/10 2:59 PM |
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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
wow, now I wish I had checked back before they removed it , lol. I'm sure the thread became crazy .... 
This is just me , but if someone thinks I am a bad mommy there is nothing I can do about it. The most important thing is that I know I am THE best mom I can be to my DD ( so does DH and my (and his) family) I don't care what others think or say....
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| Posted 4/9/10 3:49 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by twicethefun
It's b/c it's what I feel is RIGHT. it's not being HOLIER THAN THOU. it's about being the parent I want to be and you can't make me feel badly about that by implying I am trying to be "better than" you.
I dont' care about YOU. I care about my son. and doing all that I can. and I sit tight in that. well in that. and only wish I could do MORE.
**ETA: I love you Hayley
I think the "holier than thou" thing comes from the fact that you advise others, but then admit that you don't care about them. So then it is to be assumed that your motives for telling others what to do is not to help them and thus will possibly be conceived as "holier than thou."
I did not see the original post so I am just guessing.
I am stupider than thou and I don't follow  what do you mean?
when I said "i don't care about you" what I meant was "I don't do things with you in mind" or "I don't care what you think"
not that I don't "care" about people...I am generally a caring person...I don't come on here to get my rocks off on pissing other people off or being a voyeur to some very real personal issues. when I give my peace on a thread, it's done with legitimate interest/caring on my part.
I am not sure if that is what you meant but I wanted to clear it up.
also, like i said, I am just referring to people throwing the HTT term around, and not specifically to the car seat thread. I don't think anyone called me HTT. it was just general.
and I meant "you" as global in the how diatribe.
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| Posted 4/9/10 3:54 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by tatuka
This is just me , but if someone thinks I am a bad mommy there is nothing I can do about it. The most important thing is that I know I am THE best mom I can be to my DD ( so does DH and my (and his) family) I don't care what others think or say....
Posted by hbugal
If I have learned one thing in the past 16 years its this:
"The AAP is going to change their views on things a bagillion times over the years. What is recommended now may not be recommended next year and certainly NOT in 10 years. Laws are going to be created...recommendations are going to be made..the FDA is going to say one thing one minute and change their stance a few times sometimes according to what appears to be public opinion. You will be judged and accused of doing to much or not doing enough. For being too strict or not strict enough..for over scheduling activities or not participating enough. When all is said and done you have to do what works for you and for your family and hope for the best."
Message edited 4/9/2010 4:04:50 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/10 4:03 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Message edited 11/28/2011 3:39:02 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/10 4:31 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
There are a lot of times I don't post my opinion or experience for fear of coming off as "holier than thou" but I think the people that know me IRL understand where I'm coming from. Being a good father is the most important thing in the world to me.
I also try not to have any knee jerk reactions to anything I might find unconventional so to speak in raising children.
My dd is 13. The things that were done when she was a baby have changed and will continue to change as time goes by.
One day this is okay the next day it's not so even the so called "experts" have no clue what they're doing.
Until they come with an owner's manual it's all a crap shoot and we all do the best we can.
Ignorance is just not knowing, it's nothing to be ashamed of. The only thing to be ashamed of is knowing better and not doing it.
I really do believe that every single parent on here does the best they can for their children.
EFS
Well said!
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| Posted 4/9/10 4:35 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
the holier then thou moms don't bother me...we are only getting 1/2 the story on here anyway. Someone's kid might be in a Britax, rear facing till their 3rd bday-but maybe the driver had a few glasses of wine or is texting while driving..then what does it matter??
What does drive me crazy are the holier then thou husbands!
I will forever be puzzled as to why mine requires food and sex, when others are just super happy to hold a baby and unload a dishwasher.
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| Posted 4/9/10 4:55 PM |
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Kahuna
LIF Toddler
Member since 4/10 497 total posts
Name:
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Message edited 12/31/2010 9:24:04 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/10 5:45 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by Kahuna
Posted by Janice
I will forever be puzzled as to why mine requires food and sex, when others are just super happy to hold a baby and unload a dishwasher.
The ones acting "super happy" holding the baby and unloading the dishwasher are looking for more food and sex. For my wife's chicken piccata I would've held the baby, singing a medley of her favorite Broadway tunes while dusting in a french manservant's outfit.
no speaking for all households, but i think you may be onto something regarding mine.
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| Posted 4/9/10 5:54 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by twicethefun
It's b/c it's what I feel is RIGHT. it's not being HOLIER THAN THOU. it's about being the parent I want to be and you can't make me feel badly about that by implying I am trying to be "better than" you.
I dont' care about YOU. I care about my son. and doing all that I can. and I sit tight in that. well in that. and only wish I could do MORE.
**ETA: I love you Hayley
I think the "holier than thou" thing comes from the fact that you advise others, but then admit that you don't care about them. So then it is to be assumed that your motives for telling others what to do is not to help them and thus will possibly be conceived as "holier than thou."
I did not see the original post so I am just guessing.
I am stupider than thou and I don't follow what do you mean?
when I said "i don't care about you" what I meant was "I don't do things with you in mind" or "I don't care what you think"
not that I don't "care" about people...I am generally a caring person...I don't come on here to get my rocks off on pissing other people off or being a voyeur to some very real personal issues. when I give my peace on a thread, it's done with legitimate interest/caring on my part.
I am not sure if that is what you meant but I wanted to clear it up.
also, like i said, I am just referring to people throwing the HTT term around, and not specifically to the car seat thread. I don't think anyone called me HTT. it was just general.
and I meant "you" as global in the how diatribe.
Like I said, I didn't see it, but now that it is gone I am really curious what was in it. Anyway, no biggie. I am sorry if I misunderstood what you were saying.
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| Posted 4/9/10 7:57 PM |
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autumn
Mommy to 2 divas
Member since 9/07 3389 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: this "holier than thou" crap is starting to piss me off
well said
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| Posted 4/9/10 8:02 PM |
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