Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

how long did it last and what were the symptoms/behavior of the jealousy. I need to know since its gettign so close and Im extremely nervous.

Re: Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

Thankfully DD is not jealous at all of her little bro- I really thought she would be. BUT even if there aren't jealousy issues, you will see all sorts of attention seeking behavior. DD asks to be changed the minute I get her bro on the boob, she constantly has little metdowns that she never had before and is just clingy in general.

Good luck with your new baby!

Re: Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

Madelyn was more jealous than I thought she'd be. It started in the hospital when my parents brought her to see me. My mom was holding the baby while I cuddled Madelyn- and Mads was very interested in looking at the baby. BUT when I held Eliza. Mads started whining and saying, "Nooooooo" and tried to push Eliza away.

At home she was very whiny and wanted me to hold her, especially whenever I was trying to nurse. So I started BFing while sitting on the floor with pillows around me so that Madelyn could cuddle in to. She still would try to throw an elbow every now and again, but eventually she stopped.

I'd say it took about 2 weeks before I saw my happy sunny baby girl again. I was pretty upset at first, because she seemed so out of sorts. But now, she loves her baby sister. In fact, Eliza will ONLY laugh for Madelyn.

My recomendation is to make sure when you bring the baby home, bring something home for your older child. Also, if they both need your attention- go to the older child first. My ped explained that the older child is old enough to feel hurt when you choose the baby- whereas the baby won't remember that you let him/her cry for 10 minutes while you fed/changed/played with #1.

Re: Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

My DS was never jealous when DD was an infant because I would usually attend to his needs first and then the baby with the hope of keeping the jealousy under control. Now at age 4 and 2, its a constant fight for my attention to the point that they fight over who is sitting on more of my lap!

Re: Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

Matty was 16 months when Caity was born. He hated when i had to give her the baba in the beginning. And he showed this by whacking her on the head with the bottle cap.

Now they are jealous of each other when I cuddle/hug the other one- Caity is 11 months and she will scream if she sees me cuddling Matty. But they "play" together and for the most part it is okay although sometimes he still pushes her.....all in all, not too bad!

Re: Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

My son had it hard - since the baby was a tough baby and colic for pretty much close to 9 months until he was able to move freely on his own! My son wasn't too bad but wasn't himself. I felt like I lost my good little boy. A little more whiney and fresh and searching for attention. Around 3 months after the baby was born, he started with nightmares/terrors. They lasted for months bad at times and less frequent at times. What worked ot my advantage was potty training. He trained easily and I think because it gave him so much attention. haha Now that the baby is 19 mos, it isn't too bad but he does require a lot of attention and my 4 yr old is a good boy. They fight all the time but normal stuff. Although my 4yr old told me I loved his brothe rmore than him recently and it broke my heart.

Message edited 3/10/2009 7:14:30 AM.

Re: Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

AJ was very jealous the first month then it slowly faded. He would throw a temper fit from he!! whenever I or DH would hold or feed her. Even if he just finished his bottle, he wanted hers. Now Gianna is almost 5 months and he is fine with her. It took some time for him to get adjusted and I didnt force him to "like" her. He just began doing little things on his own.

Re: Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

The first month is a little tough, after that it gets much easier!! Just try to find some one on one time to spend with your daughter, I did and it helped a lot!

Re: Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

My SIL said my oldest niece (she's 4) got jealous of my newest niece (she had no issues at all when 2nd niece was born, but she was only 12 months).

SIL said it got worse after the baby was 3 months (her ped told her that is when they realize baby is here to stay & it becomes more of an adjustment).

My little niece is now 6 months & it seems to have gotten better.

Re: Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

DD #1 was 7 when #2 came along. She had a long time to get used to being the only child and the center of attention. I was so...... scared. It was all I spoke about when I was p/g. I thought I was in for a rough time. Well, I was totally wrong. She loves and worships her sister. It has been an amazingly easy transition. I could not have asked for more!

Re: Those with 2 DC....if your older got jealous of the new baby...

DS was 14.5 months when DD came along. He was sweet to her then very jealous. he would try to hit her and would ask me to hold him a billion times. He is slowly getting out of this sometimes he wants to be held or suck on his sisters pacifier and sometimes he is just so sweet to her and runs to her whenever she cries.