Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I would absolutely try for another, but only if DH was on board with the idea.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

Posted by dpli

I don't think I would try for another right now. Personally, it would take most of my strength to get through the illness and take care of one child, I don't think I would have it in me to go through another pregnancy and care for 2 children and a sick husband. I don't have a lot of help as it is and I just don't think it would work out well for our family.

On the flip side, another DC would probably bring great joy to your DH and might be wonderful medicine for him. Hope you end up getting whatever it is that you want.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

you have fm my friend

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

My first reaction is to try for another now.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I am so sorry you are going through this. Many 's to you and your family.

My situation was different since it was my sister who was sick and not my DH so this is from my point of view. When I got pregnant is made everyone very happy and it was great medicine for me, my parents, and my sister. As time went on going to the hospital all of the time while being pregnant was exhausting. I couldn't see her on days because of Chemo or I couldnt touch her and that was very hard for me. Unfortunately my sisters situation became worse and hearing about the babies made her very sad since she wasn't going to see them.

Again it is a different situation for you. How does your DH feel about it? Could he have children now since he has been on chemo...

After all of that being said I think I would want to become pregnant so I he legacy lives on and to guarantee my son would have a sibling...

I wish you and your family the best and enjoy every minute of each other....

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I would try for another now.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

if i was in your situation (and bless you for having to deal with this every day ) then yes, i would try for another.

i know you are concerned about the stress but personally, i believe that the possibility of having another child with DH would outweigh any of my other concerns.

i hope you have a hundred more years with your DH, you are both in my thoughts

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

This is such a hard decision.

Do you both want another one?

Is DH up to it? The chemo is really hard/exhausting. Which mean you have to pick up the pieces and do it all. A NB is very demanding.

If both of you want a child together, then the stress level is probably the lowest now vs later. So I say do it now.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I am so sorry you are in this situation. Personally, from what you just posted, I would absolutely use the frozen embryos, to not only give your child a sibling but to remind yourself of all the good things in life. But I would not do this if having another child would someone increase your stressload in other ways, such as financial, etc.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I can't imagine really knowing what I'd do unless I was in that situation..

I went into my marriage thinking I only had a few years with my husband. I don't consider myself a morbid person just a realistic one given his family's history of men dying in their early 40s & his lack of effort towards being healthy. I knew I wanted kids with him – in fact – I had them more for him than for me…and in the process gave myself the most precious & wonderful gifts ever.

I don’t know what the answer is. While I want to think the love I have for my husband and wanting kids with him would win out ,I suspect the day-to-day grind of chemo, trying to keep it together for my child & everyone else around me, trying to be nice to someone while he’s sick even though I’m not feeling nice & my hesitation to make a decision would probably win. One thing I remember someone told me –people may regret the timing, the person they had the child with, etc, but they never regret having their child.

I read your blog & follow your posts. Lauren – my heart aches when I think of what you’re going through. Hang in there. We are all praying for you , Scott & Logan.

Message edited 11/17/2008 9:21:20 PM.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I wouldn't. I would want to devote all my energy into my husband and baby. Unless of course he really wanted me too then I would consider it.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

My immediate answer, without thinking, is to do it. It's when I think of what that entails, that is when doubt creeps in. I'm in the "God is in control" camp on this one, so I think if DH is on board, I would do it!

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

While I don't know if any of us can truly say what we would do in that situation unless we were in it, my own gut instinct tells me that I would go for it -- as long as my DH supported it.

I don't envy your position Lauren... keeping you in my prayers as always

Message edited 11/17/2008 4:18:00 PM.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

to you & your family. Please know that eveyone here is praying for your DH.

If I were in the situation, I couldn't have another baby at that moment. I don't handle stress well & really rely upon DH for help with DD. It would be too much for me personally.

But as we all know, moms can do anything! So if it's what you both want, do it!!

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I would not do it.. what if you have multiples? That would be impossible for me to handle alone.. esp if dh is sick and cant help me..

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

i would personally go for another. i would want as many pieces of my husband with me

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I'm crashing-

But I would probably try to get pregnant. BUT- only if a failed cycle would not completely destroy you and DH. You have enough heartache already.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I wouldn't. They day-to-day stress of caring for a sick husband, 2 year old and newborn would be overwhelming IMO.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

Posted by XcalystaX

First of all, to you. If I were in your situation I probably would try to get preggo again. But as other posters said follow your heart.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

What does DH think?

If it were me, I would try for another. That way DS has a sibling and you will always have another piece of DH with forever.

Another way to look at it, did you always plan to have 1 child or more? I would consider going with your original plan.

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I think I would try for another but not hard core. By hard core I mean spending 4+ mornings in a clinic again ....You know there is no way you could do that right now and the dissapoinment of a BFP might be really hard b/c of the circumstances.

That said, I would go for it, but I would REALLY be careful about the mental aspects of it.

I think your ready

Re: Totally impossible decision...WWYD?

I think, for me, it would depend on how much help you would have from family and friends with taking care of your DH, you and your LO while you are pregnant, and the baby when he/she comes. If you think you can get enough support, then I would go for it. It may help your DH in his recovery too.