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Re: tragic story
Posted by lorich
Posted by SIBride06
Wow.. This is horrible. She even has a myspace page:
Myspace
Wow..."interesting" page...
Mood = "high"
Everything was about partying like a rockstar - way to die the death without living the life...
so sad - could be any one of my stepdaughter's friends....
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Posted 6/23/08 11:49 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Re: tragic story
I think that kids have to learn that drinking, sex and drugs do not make you cool. It's obvious from that myspace page that this crowd is full of kids who think they are cool because they party.
I did my fair share of partying but not until college and I did it to let loose. I didn't party to prove myself. I thought that the kids who bragged about how much of any substance they could do were morons. I look back and see that my friends and I did some crazy things but not like this. The attitude was different.
Also, it freaks me out that many of DH's friends drove drunk back then. I do not think that has to be a rite of passage and I hope my kid knows that.
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| Posted 6/24/08 12:02 AM |
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ArmyOfBabies
Growing older but not up
Member since 7/07 4427 total posts
Name:
Jeri
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Re: tragic story
I can't even imagine. Her poor family!
They live like 7 minutes from me!
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| Posted 6/24/08 1:16 AM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: tragic story
Posted by chmlengr
Posted by lorich
Posted by SIBride06
Wow.. This is horrible. She even has a myspace page:
Myspace
Wow..."interesting" page...
Wow, I agree.. Interesting to say the least.... You hear about what a great, smart girl she was, yet I see a totally different picture of her just by looking at her page and her pictures 
I agree. In at least half of the pictures, she's holding some sort of drink, referencing a drink, etc. In her comments, there's a specific mention about heroin. This kid was no angel-school validictorian like Newsday is presenting her to be. The parents make it seem like they were so close to her, etc. yet if my kid threw up half the crap that she did on her Myspace page, I'd be all over her. How could you not be seriously alarmed (as a parent) by all the drug/drinking references?!?
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| Posted 6/24/08 6:41 AM |
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LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: tragic story
Another thing we keep saying Seaford Schools but most of these kids went to Planeidge. Not that that should make a difference but I just wanted to clarify.
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| Posted 6/24/08 7:42 AM |
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stephaniea
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1280 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: tragic story
I live right next to the Funeral Home that she is being laid out at. The were so many teens outside crying. My bestfriends daughters went. It is tragic no matter how she died. She was someone's daughter, grandaughter or sister. It truly breaks my heart. We do the best we can and hope all turns out okay.
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| Posted 6/24/08 7:51 AM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: tragic story
Posted by stephaniea
I live right next to the Funeral Home that she is being laid out at. The were so many teens outside crying. My bestfriends daughters went. It is tragic no matter how she died. She was someone's daughter, grandaughter or sister. It truly breaks my heart. We do the best we can and hope all turns out okay.
i agree... we can only hope that something good will come out of this. and it will make all of her friends slow down a little bit and realize just how serious this stuff they are/were doing can be...
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| Posted 6/24/08 8:03 AM |
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lillian771
LIF Toddler
Member since 3/07 487 total posts
Name:
Lillian
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Re: tragic story
Just finished reading this entire thread and looking at the girl's myspace page. I'm so disturbed. Things like this were NOT going on when I was in HS. Not mainstream anyway. We drank plenty, which I agree is dangerous, and some smoked pot, but that's it. I worry for the future. What will things be like when my baby boy gets to HS? What a horrific story.
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| Posted 6/24/08 8:33 AM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: tragic story
how sad!
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| Posted 6/24/08 8:36 AM |
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beautyq115
New Year!
Member since 5/05 13729 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: tragic story
I read in Newsday and saw on the news that the student whose house the party at was arrested for tampering with evidence but my question is where were the parents and aren't they going to be held responsible too????
They had no clue what was going on? It seems like they knew where she was when the poor girls parents came to the door (atleast that is how it seems the way the article was written)
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| Posted 6/24/08 9:30 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: tragic story
Posted by 5ofClubs
Another thing we keep saying Seaford Schools but most of these kids went to Planeidge. Not that that should make a difference but I just wanted to clarify.
i think people are saying seaford schools b/c the house is in the seaford school district. i didn't know that most of the kids went to plainedge, was that in newsday?
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| Posted 6/24/08 9:55 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: tragic story
Posted by Shorty
so sad.. and so scary. It's hard to imagine beautiful 18 yr old girls sitting around drinking their faces off, popping pills... I'm no idiot, I know it's happening everywhere, but I never did ANYTHING like that when I was a kid. I didn't drink a thing when I was in HS!
Same here.
And for the PP who said that the honors students/student council were 10x worse- that wasn't the case in my HS. Those people were all my friends- and aside from a few beers here and there- none of us drank or did drugs or even smoked cigarettes for that matter.
I knew there were kids who drank alot, did E and K and I had friends who smoked Pot, but I had no idea such heavy drug use was so prevalent in our town until recently when I was talking to DHs brother.
It scares the bejesus outta me to raise children in this world.
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| Posted 6/24/08 9:58 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: tragic story
Posted by kahlua716
Posted by Shorty
so sad.. and so scary. It's hard to imagine beautiful 18 yr old girls sitting around drinking their faces off, popping pills... I'm no idiot, I know it's happening everywhere, but I never did ANYTHING like that when I was a kid. I didn't drink a thing when I was in HS!
Same here.
And for the PP who said that the honors students/student council were 10x worse- that wasn't the case in my HS. Those people were all my friends- and aside from a few beers here and there- none of us drank or did drugs or even smoked cigarettes for that matter.
I knew there were kids who drank alot, did E and K and I had friends who smoked Pot, but I had no idea such heavy drug use was so prevalent in our town until recently when I was talking to DHs brother.
It scares the bejesus outta me to raise children in this world.
That's my point. "I" was the honors student, student council, cheerleader, all county chorus girl .......MY FRIENDS were the honors students, student council, most likely to succeed, football/baseball/basketball/soccer players .......The kids no one would ever think were doing anything 'wrong' - and my friends were some of the worst !! -
Everyone keeps saying 'the parents should know' "I would know if that were my kid" "if that were MY kid I'd never allow it" ........Well, what if your kid was the captain of the football team, the student body president and had a full scholarship to a prestigous college all lined up .........Would you be shocked to learn that THAT kid was a coke head ???? - I think most people would ..........The perception that the 'bad kids' are the ones using drugs is ridiculous -
Even people looking at her myspace page are saying she doesn't 'look like' an honors student .......Well, WHAT exactly does an honors student look like??
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| Posted 6/24/08 10:27 AM |
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cgdg61606
Little Brother Christopher
Member since 2/07 6815 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: tragic story
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by 5ofClubs
Another thing we keep saying Seaford Schools but most of these kids went to Planeidge. Not that that should make a difference but I just wanted to clarify.
i think people are saying seaford schools b/c the house is in the seaford school district. i didn't know that most of the kids went to plainedge, was that in newsday?
The girl lived in Massapequa and went Plainedge High School. She died in the "friend's" Seaford house. I didn't read anywhere where the other kids at the party lived/went to school.
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| Posted 6/24/08 10:51 AM |
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isabelle2137
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1076 total posts
Name:
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Re: tragic story
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by kahlua716
Posted by Shorty
so sad.. and so scary. It's hard to imagine beautiful 18 yr old girls sitting around drinking their faces off, popping pills... I'm no idiot, I know it's happening everywhere, but I never did ANYTHING like that when I was a kid. I didn't drink a thing when I was in HS!
Same here.
And for the PP who said that the honors students/student council were 10x worse- that wasn't the case in my HS. Those people were all my friends- and aside from a few beers here and there- none of us drank or did drugs or even smoked cigarettes for that matter.
I knew there were kids who drank alot, did E and K and I had friends who smoked Pot, but I had no idea such heavy drug use was so prevalent in our town until recently when I was talking to DHs brother.
It scares the bejesus outta me to raise children in this world.
That's my point. "I" was the honors student, student council, cheerleader, all county chorus girl .......MY FRIENDS were the honors students, student council, most likely to succeed, football/baseball/basketball/soccer players .......The kids no one would ever think were doing anything 'wrong' - and my friends were some of the worst !! -
Everyone keeps saying 'the parents should know' "I would know if that were my kid" "if that were MY kid I'd never allow it" ........Well, what if your kid was the captain of the football team, the student body president and had a full scholarship to a prestigous college all lined up .........Would you be shocked to learn that THAT kid was a coke head ???? - I think most people would ..........The perception that the 'bad kids' are the ones using drugs is ridiculous -
Even people looking at her myspace page are saying she doesn't 'look like' an honors student .......Well, WHAT exactly does an honors student look like??
I don't care if my kid is popular, not popular, captain of a sport team or belongs to no organizations. I don't understand how substance abuse of this magnitude went unchecked by her parents.
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| Posted 6/24/08 10:56 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: tragic story
This is very tragic, but I hope that kids out there learn from this.
YOU ARE NOT INVINCIBLE!!! The partying, the drugs, the drinking, the unprotected sex, meeting strangers online- its all deangerous. You could die.
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| Posted 6/24/08 11:01 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: tragic story
I don't care if my kid is popular, not popular, captain of a sport team or belongs to no organizations. I don't understand how substance abuse of this magnitude went unchecked by her parents.
You're missing my point. It's NOT about popularity. It's about the parents not seeinng any indication that something could possibly be wrong ........ - This kid was a cheerleader, she was an honors student, she was an all county vocalist and probably VERY involved in school activities. Her 'free time' during the school week was probably limited. Her grade were probably excellent, she was planning to go to college, etc etc. That is what I'm saying. Aside from her suposed drug abuse, this girl was ME at Plainedge HS 11 years ago -
This is NOT the kid that would normally send the 'warning signs' of substance abuse that parents or anyone else would be looking for.
I'm sure she was not withdrawn or quiet or unhappy around her family - She was most likely upbeat and happy and 'normal' ........should her parents have checked her myspace page - Probably, yes. BUT, you're BLAMING the parents and saying their stupid (not YOU, just people in general) If you're kid isn't giving you ANY indication that you can't trust them or that something might be wrong ..........if their friends are all seemingly 'good kids' from 'good families' - What were the so called 'warning signs' of her substance abuse ??? -
My parents were REALLY strict when I was a kid. I slept at a friends house if I was staying out past curfew. I wasn't into drugs, but I drank more than I should have and my 'friends' that my parents had known my whole life, along with their 'good families' were doing every drug they could get their hands on. They were completely fine for SATs and class, at practice, on game day, they were all accepted to good schools - None of them (us) did anything that would lead our parents to think there was ANYTHING wrong ......... -
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| Posted 6/24/08 11:10 AM |
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isabelle2137
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1076 total posts
Name:
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Re: tragic story
Posted by MarisaK
I don't care if my kid is popular, not popular, captain of a sport team or belongs to no organizations. I don't understand how substance abuse of this magnitude went unchecked by her parents.
You're missing my point. It's NOT about popularity. It's about the parents not seeinng any indication that something could possibly be wrong ........ - This kid was a cheerleader, she was an honors student, she was an all county vocalist and probably VERY involved in school activities. Her 'free time' during the school week was probably limited. Her grade were probably excellent, she was planning to go to college, etc etc. That is what I'm saying. Aside from her suposed drug abuse, this girl was ME at Plainedge HS 11 years ago -
This is NOT the kid that would normally send the 'warning signs' of substance abuse that parents or anyone else would be looking for.
I'm sure she was not withdrawn or quiet or unhappy around her family - She was most likely upbeat and happy and 'normal' ........should her parents have checked her myspace page - Probably, yes. BUT, you're BLAMING the parents and saying their stupid (not YOU, just people in general) If you're kid isn't giving you ANY indication that you can't trust them or that something might be wrong ..........if their friends are all seemingly 'good kids' from 'good families' - What were the so called 'warning signs' of her substance abuse ??? -
My parents were REALLY strict when I was a kid. I slept at a friends house if I was staying out past curfew. I wasn't into drugs, but I drank more than I should have and my 'friends' that my parents had known my whole life, along with their 'good families' were doing every drug they could get their hands on. They were completely fine for SATs and class, at practice, on game day, they were all accepted to good schools - None of them (us) did anything that would lead our parents to think there was ANYTHING wrong ......... -
Maybe I'm naive then. How do "good" or "bad" kids spend their high school years doing drugs and drinking and their parents and their friends' parents never knew? No one saw them when they got home from parties? Even if they slept at a friend's house - where were their parents when they got home??
Sorry, but that screams lax parenting to me. Not to mention the statement on the other thread about this girl's od the week before. I have no idea if that is true or not, though it seems to come from a poster close to this situation. If it is true, then I have to wonder why this girl was allowed to be at a party the following weekend? That's an issue with parenting in my opinion.
Message edited 6/24/2008 11:17:33 AM.
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| Posted 6/24/08 11:17 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: tragic story
Posted by isabelle2137
Posted by MarisaK
I don't care if my kid is popular, not popular, captain of a sport team or belongs to no organizations. I don't understand how substance abuse of this magnitude went unchecked by her parents.
You're missing my point. It's NOT about popularity. It's about the parents not seeinng any indication that something could possibly be wrong ........ - This kid was a cheerleader, she was an honors student, she was an all county vocalist and probably VERY involved in school activities. Her 'free time' during the school week was probably limited. Her grade were probably excellent, she was planning to go to college, etc etc. That is what I'm saying. Aside from her suposed drug abuse, this girl was ME at Plainedge HS 11 years ago -
This is NOT the kid that would normally send the 'warning signs' of substance abuse that parents or anyone else would be looking for.
I'm sure she was not withdrawn or quiet or unhappy around her family - She was most likely upbeat and happy and 'normal' ........should her parents have checked her myspace page - Probably, yes. BUT, you're BLAMING the parents and saying their stupid (not YOU, just people in general) If you're kid isn't giving you ANY indication that you can't trust them or that something might be wrong ..........if their friends are all seemingly 'good kids' from 'good families' - What were the so called 'warning signs' of her substance abuse ??? -
My parents were REALLY strict when I was a kid. I slept at a friends house if I was staying out past curfew. I wasn't into drugs, but I drank more than I should have and my 'friends' that my parents had known my whole life, along with their 'good families' were doing every drug they could get their hands on. They were completely fine for SATs and class, at practice, on game day, they were all accepted to good schools - None of them (us) did anything that would lead our parents to think there was ANYTHING wrong ......... -
Maybe I'm naive then. How do "good" or "bad" kids spend their high school years doing drugs and drinking and their parents and their friends' parents never knew? No one saw them when they got home from parties? Even if they slept at a friend's house - where were their parents when they got home??
Sorry, but that screams lax parenting to me. Not to mention the statement on the other thread about this girl's od the week before. I have no idea if that is true or not, though it seems to come from a poster close to this situation. If it is true, then I have to wonder why this girl was allowed to be at a party the following weekend? That's an issue with parenting in my opinion.
I think you are niave if you believe it's possible to prevent a teenager from drinking or doing drugs. - And if I end up being able to raise the minority kid that DOESN'T drink I will count my blessings every single second - But, short of locking them in their room for their ENTIRE life........how do you monitor their every move? I was rarely home when I was in HS - I had practice after school, I coached the younger girl's cheerleading team at night, I worked 3-4 days a week after school or on the weekends, I had games, vocal competitions, I was running around planning prom and homecoming and and and .......I was in and out of the house constantly - and not b/c my parents were lax, my parents were extremely strict. I still had a curfew when I came home from being away at college !!! - I just had a really busy life - I, and my friends were doing all of the things parents try to get their kids to do so they WON'T have the free time to be bored and drink/do drugs -
This girls partying was extreme from her pictures, but it was probably a weekend thing, like most HS partying is. So, she goes out Friday night and sleeps at Kim's house b/c HER parents are away, or HER parents don't care that she strolls in at 1 AM - and Saturday morning she wakes up and goes home, showers, says a quick "hi" to her parents and runs off to work - Saturday night she gets off work, goes home to get ready and goes out again. Has a sleepover at Jen's house, or maybe she goes home and her Mom is waiting up for her and she isn't completely wasted and she's able to compose herself so she says goodnight and goes to sleep. Sunday she wakes up and she's fine ..........
I didn't see the post about her ODing previously - If that is true, then yes the parents are morons for not keeping her under lock and key ........but what I'm saying is, she may very well have 'hid' her 'problem' from her parents easily - That first OD, if it happened may have been the shock of a lifetime to them.
And it wouldn't be b/c they were so blind or stupid. It would be b/c their kid didn't give them any reason to think something was wrong ........
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| Posted 6/24/08 11:32 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: tragic story
Posted by stephaniea
We do the best we can and hope all turns out okay.
I agree.
We can love, educate and guide them as best as we can. And pray our voices are heard when they are with friends and being offered drugs and alcohol.
Raising kids ain't easy these days.
I thank god everyday, I didn't have serious issues with my daughter.
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| Posted 6/24/08 11:36 AM |
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isabelle2137
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1076 total posts
Name:
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Re: tragic story
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by isabelle2137
Posted by MarisaK
I don't care if my kid is popular, not popular, captain of a sport team or belongs to no organizations. I don't understand how substance abuse of this magnitude went unchecked by her parents.
You're missing my point. It's NOT about popularity. It's about the parents not seeinng any indication that something could possibly be wrong ........ - This kid was a cheerleader, she was an honors student, she was an all county vocalist and probably VERY involved in school activities. Her 'free time' during the school week was probably limited. Her grade were probably excellent, she was planning to go to college, etc etc. That is what I'm saying. Aside from her suposed drug abuse, this girl was ME at Plainedge HS 11 years ago -
This is NOT the kid that would normally send the 'warning signs' of substance abuse that parents or anyone else would be looking for.
I'm sure she was not withdrawn or quiet or unhappy around her family - She was most likely upbeat and happy and 'normal' ........should her parents have checked her myspace page - Probably, yes. BUT, you're BLAMING the parents and saying their stupid (not YOU, just people in general) If you're kid isn't giving you ANY indication that you can't trust them or that something might be wrong ..........if their friends are all seemingly 'good kids' from 'good families' - What were the so called 'warning signs' of her substance abuse ??? -
My parents were REALLY strict when I was a kid. I slept at a friends house if I was staying out past curfew. I wasn't into drugs, but I drank more than I should have and my 'friends' that my parents had known my whole life, along with their 'good families' were doing every drug they could get their hands on. They were completely fine for SATs and class, at practice, on game day, they were all accepted to good schools - None of them (us) did anything that would lead our parents to think there was ANYTHING wrong ......... -
Maybe I'm naive then. How do "good" or "bad" kids spend their high school years doing drugs and drinking and their parents and their friends' parents never knew? No one saw them when they got home from parties? Even if they slept at a friend's house - where were their parents when they got home??
Sorry, but that screams lax parenting to me. Not to mention the statement on the other thread about this girl's od the week before. I have no idea if that is true or not, though it seems to come from a poster close to this situation. If it is true, then I have to wonder why this girl was allowed to be at a party the following weekend? That's an issue with parenting in my opinion.
I think you are niave if you believe it's possible to prevent a teenager from drinking or doing drugs. - And if I end up being able to raise the minority kid that DOESN'T drink I will count my blessings every single second - But, short of locking them in their room for their ENTIRE life........how do you monitor their every move? I was rarely home when I was in HS - I had practice after school, I coached the younger girl's cheerleading team at night, I worked 3-4 days a week after school or on the weekends, I had games, vocal competitions, I was running around planning prom and homecoming and and and .......I was in and out of the house constantly - and not b/c my parents were lax, my parents were extremely strict. I still had a curfew when I came home from being away at college !!! - I just had a really busy life - I, and my friends were doing all of the things parents try to get their kids to do so they WON'T have the free time to be bored and drink/do drugs -
This girls partying was extreme from her pictures, but it was probably a weekend thing, like most HS partying is. So, she goes out Friday night and sleeps at Kim's house b/c HER parents are away, or HER parents don't care that she strolls in at 1 AM - and Saturday morning she wakes up and goes home, showers, says a quick "hi" to her parents and runs off to work - Saturday night she gets off work, goes home to get ready and goes out again. Has a sleepover at Jen's house, or maybe she goes home and her Mom is waiting up for her and she isn't completely wasted and she's able to compose herself so she says goodnight and goes to sleep. Sunday she wakes up and she's fine ..........
I didn't see the post about her ODing previously - If that is true, then yes the parents are morons for not keeping her under lock and key ........but what I'm saying is, she may very well have 'hid' her 'problem' from her parents easily - That first OD, if it happened may have been the shock of a lifetime to them.
And it wouldn't be b/c they were so blind or stupid. It would be b/c their kid didn't give them any reason to think something was wrong ........
I'm going to have to just agree to disagree here. You have a different view on parenting high schoolers than I do. Not right or wrong, just different.
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| Posted 6/24/08 11:38 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: tragic story
Posted by MarisaK
And it wouldn't be b/c they were so blind or stupid. It would be b/c their kid didn't give them any reason to think something was wrong ........
Out of curiosity. Knowing everything you did as a teenager. How do you think you will parent your kids? I know it's hard to say NOW since you aren't there yet. I'm just curious.
Just because they won't give you a reason to think something's going on, do you think you will still be suspicious because they may be hiding it so well or give them the benefit of the doubt until proven wrong?
No drama please, I'm really just curious.
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| Posted 6/24/08 11:44 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: tragic story
Posted by isabelle2137
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by isabelle2137
Posted by MarisaK
I don't care if my kid is popular, not popular, captain of a sport team or belongs to no organizations. I don't understand how substance abuse of this magnitude went unchecked by her parents.
You're missing my point. It's NOT about popularity. It's about the parents not seeinng any indication that something could possibly be wrong ........ - This kid was a cheerleader, she was an honors student, she was an all county vocalist and probably VERY involved in school activities. Her 'free time' during the school week was probably limited. Her grade were probably excellent, she was planning to go to college, etc etc. That is what I'm saying. Aside from her suposed drug abuse, this girl was ME at Plainedge HS 11 years ago -
This is NOT the kid that would normally send the 'warning signs' of substance abuse that parents or anyone else would be looking for.
I'm sure she was not withdrawn or quiet or unhappy around her family - She was most likely upbeat and happy and 'normal' ........should her parents have checked her myspace page - Probably, yes. BUT, you're BLAMING the parents and saying their stupid (not YOU, just people in general) If you're kid isn't giving you ANY indication that you can't trust them or that something might be wrong ..........if their friends are all seemingly 'good kids' from 'good families' - What were the so called 'warning signs' of her substance abuse ??? -
My parents were REALLY strict when I was a kid. I slept at a friends house if I was staying out past curfew. I wasn't into drugs, but I drank more than I should have and my 'friends' that my parents had known my whole life, along with their 'good families' were doing every drug they could get their hands on. They were completely fine for SATs and class, at practice, on game day, they were all accepted to good schools - None of them (us) did anything that would lead our parents to think there was ANYTHING wrong ......... -
Maybe I'm naive then. How do "good" or "bad" kids spend their high school years doing drugs and drinking and their parents and their friends' parents never knew? No one saw them when they got home from parties? Even if they slept at a friend's house - where were their parents when they got home??
Sorry, but that screams lax parenting to me. Not to mention the statement on the other thread about this girl's od the week before. I have no idea if that is true or not, though it seems to come from a poster close to this situation. If it is true, then I have to wonder why this girl was allowed to be at a party the following weekend? That's an issue with parenting in my opinion.
I think you are niave if you believe it's possible to prevent a teenager from drinking or doing drugs. - And if I end up being able to raise the minority kid that DOESN'T drink I will count my blessings every single second - But, short of locking them in their room for their ENTIRE life........how do you monitor their every move? I was rarely home when I was in HS - I had practice after school, I coached the younger girl's cheerleading team at night, I worked 3-4 days a week after school or on the weekends, I had games, vocal competitions, I was running around planning prom and homecoming and and and .......I was in and out of the house constantly - and not b/c my parents were lax, my parents were extremely strict. I still had a curfew when I came home from being away at college !!! - I just had a really busy life - I, and my friends were doing all of the things parents try to get their kids to do so they WON'T have the free time to be bored and drink/do drugs -
This girls partying was extreme from her pictures, but it was probably a weekend thing, like most HS partying is. So, she goes out Friday night and sleeps at Kim's house b/c HER parents are away, or HER parents don't care that she strolls in at 1 AM - and Saturday morning she wakes up and goes home, showers, says a quick "hi" to her parents and runs off to work - Saturday night she gets off work, goes home to get ready and goes out again. Has a sleepover at Jen's house, or maybe she goes home and her Mom is waiting up for her and she isn't completely wasted and she's able to compose herself so she says goodnight and goes to sleep. Sunday she wakes up and she's fine ..........
I didn't see the post about her ODing previously - If that is true, then yes the parents are morons for not keeping her under lock and key ........but what I'm saying is, she may very well have 'hid' her 'problem' from her parents easily - That first OD, if it happened may have been the shock of a lifetime to them.
And it wouldn't be b/c they were so blind or stupid. It would be b/c their kid didn't give them any reason to think something was wrong ........
I'm going to have to just agree to disagree here. You have a different view on parenting high schoolers than I do. Not right or wrong, just different.
I agree with you that a parent should do whatever they can do keep their child safe. But at some point, you just have to do the best you can and hope you raised them to make the right choices. You can't be with them every second, and you can't make those choices for them as they grow up -
I am scared to death to have kids b/c of this.........I was one of the "good" kids - I can't imagine dealing with things parents do now .........
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| Posted 6/24/08 11:45 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: tragic story
Posted by Mssissy
Posted by MarisaK
And it wouldn't be b/c they were so blind or stupid. It would be b/c their kid didn't give them any reason to think something was wrong ........
Out of curiosity. Knowing everything you did as a teenager. How do you think you will parent your kids? I know it's hard to say NOW since you aren't there yet. I'm just curious.
Just because they won't give you a reason to think something's going on, do you think you will still be suspicious because they may be hiding it so well or give them the benefit of the doubt until proven wrong?
No drama please, I'm really just curious.
No drama at all. - And I honestly don't know which is why I am absolutely terrified to have kids. HOW do you possibly keep them safe? I partied in HS, but never to the extent that my friends did. NOT b/c I was oh so moral and high and mighty and smart, b/c I was SCARED. I was scared of getting caught by my parents, I was afraid of being that person who tried the drug once and ended up dead.......But I was the person who always thought of the consequences before I did something .....How do I get MY kid to do that?? The drugs also just didn't appeal to my nature - I'm a control freak. I didn't like the idea of popping a pill and having no control over anything for god knows how long -
Part of that had to have come from my parents, but part of it was also just me as a person. My sister had the same parents and was (is) totally fearless. She leaps and worries about it after the fact - It's her personality.
I think knowing what I know from my own childhood, I will definitely be suspicious of my kids no matter how "good" I want to think they are. -
That's kind of my point. I think people need to open their eyse to the fac that ANY kid can be getting themselves into drugs and alcohol - People are always assuming that it's the kid from the bad family, sulking in the corner and causing problems in school that has the drug problem - No one is really thinking it could possibly the kids that seem to have it all together. - No one ever suspects the validictorian, so their behavior goes unnoticed - The Valedictorian of my sister's graduating class was snorting coke before he gave his speech ........You think HIS parents had any idea?
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| Posted 6/24/08 12:01 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: tragic story
Posted by MarisaK
That's kind of my point. I think people need to open their eyse to the fac that ANY kid can be getting themselves into drugs and alcohol - People are always assuming that it's the kid from the bad family, sulking in the corner and causing problems in school that has the drug problem - No one is really thinking it could possibly the kids that seem to have it all together. - No one ever suspects the validictorian, so their behavior goes unnoticed - The Valedictorian of my sister's graduating class was snorting coke before he gave his speech ........You think HIS parents had any idea?
I agree with what you're saying. Nobody want's to think "my kid", bad or good.
Regardless we all need to keep an open mind, keep our eyes open and try not to get fooled by them. They are smarter than we think
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| Posted 6/24/08 12:25 PM |
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