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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
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Marisa
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by kristinel
Ex: A 19-year-old on Christmas Eve drinking beer, and an 18 year-old drinking mixed drinks.
honestly, I have no problem with this. As long as they are not driving, I think if an 18 year old can die for our country, s/he can have a beer with the family...JMHO
I agree 100% - I personally think making something SO forbidden makes kids want to do it more, AND not not only do things behind your back, but become afraid to discuss anything with you as their parent -
My parents and their friends / our families are all party people - My sister and I were 'allowed' to drink well before we were 21 years old - HOWEVER, we were ALSO raised with enough respect for our parents that we would NEVER WANT to be sloppy drunk in front of them or our families. - We also knew when enough was enough and not to dare to drive if we had been drinking -
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Posted 12/30/08 3:57 PM  |
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kristinel
Steinbeck
Member since 5/08 1224 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by JennZ
Posted by Jenn627
As an observer I don't agree with it at all, under any context (including religion). My sister is 19, in college, I see pictures of her with drinks in her hand. Not cool. It's the law.
I don't drive without a seatbelt on, so even if I don't agree with the law, I still follow it.
OK, to play Devils Advocate. You NEVER had a drink under age, away at school with your girlfriends? NEVER?
Im sorry I think its unrealistic to think a 19 yr old is not going to party with their friends. If they ARE NOT more power to them. But I have NEVER come in contact with one, not even when I was 19.
This in no way is a reflection of my opinion, but I just want to say that I never NEVER partied. Nor have I ever. I think I took my first sip of alcohol in my 20's, hated it, and to this day will only drink champagne at weddings.
Please note that I just don't like the taste of alcohol nor have I ever had the desire to party, so this in no way is me judging others, this is just who I am.
So, now you can say you know at least one person who never partied at 19.
Message edited 12/30/2008 4:04:04 PM.
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| Posted 12/30/08 3:59 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by MarisaK
I agree 100% - I personally think making something SO forbidden makes kids want to do it more, AND not not only do things behind your back, but become afraid to discuss anything with you as their parent -
I don't understand how not allowing your child to break the law in your own home is making it "SO forbidden." My parents never offered me any alcohol at any parties; they didn't expressly forbid it, they just didn't serve it to me--I didn't run out and get bombed at the first opportunity.
Why does anyone drink? Personally, I drink to relax and get a buzz going--I feel it would be pretty irresponsible of ME to encourage my DDs to get a buzz on at 18 years old in my own home. What's the need? What's the need at any age, I guess, but I digress... I don't *necessarily* have a problem with anyone else doing it, but it's not for me...save for the possible sip of champagne on NYE.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:03 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
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Re: Underage Drinking
flame away, but i will NOT be that mom. it's not cool for all my kids friends to be driniking at my house.
I think it sets a bad example.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:03 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Underage Drinking
I think questions like this are wholly unfair.
yes, there ARE parents who are irresponsible when it comes to setting an example to their kids.
and there are kids that REBEL against the STRONG example that parents put down.
I am not about to sit here looking down my nose at someone b/c I saw their kid having a pina colada by the pool or a glass of champagne at Christmas dinner.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:04 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by saraH
flame away, but i will NOT be that mom. it's not cool for all my kids friends to be driniking at my house.
I think it sets a bad example.
Oh yeah, that too. There is NO way in hell my DDs' friends are going to be saying, "But Katherine's mom lets her drink at home..."
Message edited 12/30/2008 4:05:55 PM.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:05 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by saraH
flame away, but i will NOT be that mom. it's not cool for all my kids friends to be driniking at my house.
I think it sets a bad example.
I don't think the OP's question even talked about this.
I don't think anyone is fessing up to the the Mean Girls mom here.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:06 PM |
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MrsB-07
proud RELAXIVIST
Member since 11/07 2027 total posts
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b
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Re: Underage Drinking
I don't think its a big deal. My parents were always really cool about me having drinks even though I wasn't 21. I wasn't knock down, dragged out drunk, but I would have a drink in front of them. I actually think them being nonchalant about the whole thing, made me the same way - rather then being denied it and binge drinking on my 21st.
I think its more a matter of responsibility then age. So long as you're not driving, or causing harm, etc. then I don't really care if an 18 or 19 yr old has a parent that lets them have a drink
I should say though, that I'm assuming the parents are letting the underage kid have some drinks or a glass of wine at a party, not shooting tequila until they are on the verge of alcohol poisoning.
Message edited 12/30/2008 4:13:59 PM.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:07 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by saraH
flame away, but i will NOT be that mom. it's not cool for all my kids friends to be driniking at my house.
I think it sets a bad example.
I don't think the OP's question even talked about this.
I don't think anyone is fessing up to the the Mean Girls mom here.
i see that, but i think a lot of it stems from, "well, my mom always let me..." KWIM? Sorry I went off on a bit of a rant, but it's a touch subject for me.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:07 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
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Mama Cranky
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Eireann
Posted by MarisaK
I agree 100% - I personally think making something SO forbidden makes kids want to do it more, AND not not only do things behind your back, but become afraid to discuss anything with you as their parent -
I don't understand how not allowing your child to break the law in your own home is making it "SO forbidden." My parents never offered me any alcohol at any parties; they didn't expressly forbid it, they just didn't serve it to me--I didn't run out and get bombed at the first opportunity.
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This is the crux of the issue for me.
Drinking at younger than 21 is illegal. I will not allow my child to break the law in my home with my knowledge. I will teach my child that rules are rules.
I agree that setting the age at 21 is arbitrary, and that if you can vote and serve in the military at 18 then you should probably be able to drink at that age. However, you cannot legally do so, so I won't condone it.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:08 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
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Danielle
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by KarenG2003
I think it's ridiculous, unnecessary, and irresponsible. It sends a TERRIBLE message to the child! I can't STAND when parents try to be their child's "friend" and not their parent.
Thanks Karen - took the words right out of my mouth and typed them for me! Being a child's "friend" is, IMO, the worst thing you can do to a child -- you are doing them a HUGE disservice when they become an adult.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:09 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by saraH
flame away, but i will NOT be that mom. it's not cool for all my kids friends to be driniking at my house.
I think it sets a bad example.
Not flaming at all, because I completely agree with you - but I do think there's a difference between allowing your child one drink with dinner on a holiday, for example, and allowing their friends to come have a kegger at your house.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:09 PM |
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kristinel
Steinbeck
Member since 5/08 1224 total posts
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by JessInCA
Posted by saraH
flame away, but i will NOT be that mom. it's not cool for all my kids friends to be driniking at my house.
I think it sets a bad example.
Not flaming at all, because I completely agree with you - but I do think there's a difference between allowing your child one drink with dinner on a holiday, for example, and allowing their friends to come have a kegger at your house.
What about one beer after another? That was my situation. Keep in mind, one of these teen's parents are currently divorced because the father was and still is an alcoholic.
Message edited 12/30/2008 4:11:24 PM.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:10 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by JessInCA
but I do think there's a difference between allowing your child one drink with dinner on a holiday, for example, and allowing their friends to come have a kegger at your house.
seriously! If I could take leaps like this "IRL" I'd be an Olympic Champion! 
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:10 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by kristinel
Posted by JessInCA
Posted by saraH
flame away, but i will NOT be that mom. it's not cool for all my kids friends to be driniking at my house.
I think it sets a bad example.
Not flaming at all, because I completely agree with you - but I do think there's a difference between allowing your child one drink with dinner on a holiday, for example, and allowing their friends to come have a kegger at your house.
What about one beer after another? That was my situation. Keep in mind, one of these teen's parents are currently divorced because the father was and still is an alcoholic.
Given that example, I'd have to say I'm not crazy about that happening and probably wouldn't be doing it if I were that parent.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:12 PM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by DaniRella
Posted by KarenG2003
I think it's ridiculous, unnecessary, and irresponsible. It sends a TERRIBLE message to the child! I can't STAND when parents try to be their child's "friend" and not their parent.
Thanks Karen - took the words right out of my mouth and typed them for me! Being a child's "friend" is, IMO, the worst thing you can do to a child -- you are doing them a HUGE disservice when they become an adult.
I dont think just b/c you let your child have a drink means your trying to be their "friend".. My parents allowed me to have a beer on holidays and I wouldnt say they were trying to be my "friend". Its not like they handed me the beer saying "Chug this".. I just happen to ask at that age can I have a beer.. and they said "okay".. No biggie and still respected my parents as my parents and followed their rules.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:14 PM |
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Mikismom
honestly, I have no problem with this. As long as they are not driving, I think if an 18 year old can die for our country, s/he can have a beer with the family...JMHO
I agree- and I do see a difference between something like a celebratory glass of champagne or something else moderate vs. a parent who condones drunkenness.
Modeling responsible behavior and having open communication about alcohol and using it properly is one of the more important responsibilities of a parent, IMO, whether you let you child drink while underage or not.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:15 PM |
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DirtyBlonde
*****
Member since 11/07 7344 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by JessInCA
but I do think there's a difference between allowing your child one drink with dinner on a holiday, for example, and allowing their friends to come have a kegger at your house.
seriously! If I could take leaps like this "IRL" I'd be an Olympic Champion!
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
to answer the original post:
Posted by kristinel
What are your feelings regarding parents who allow their children under the age of 21 to drink? Ex: A 19-year-old on Christmas Eve drinking beer, and an 18 year-old drinking mixed drinks.
My parents didn't care that Id have a drink when i was 18/19 during a holiday dinner. they knew i was doing worse when i was out of the house anyway and if i went for more than one, they freaked.
personally, i don't have kids so i can't say what my true feelings are. however someone raises their kid as long as they aren't hurting them - none of my business.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:16 PM |
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kristinel
Steinbeck
Member since 5/08 1224 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by DirtyBlonde
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by JessInCA
but I do think there's a difference between allowing your child one drink with dinner on a holiday, for example, and allowing their friends to come have a kegger at your house.
seriously! If I could take leaps like this "IRL" I'd be an Olympic Champion!
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
to answer the original post:
Posted by kristinel
What are your feelings regarding parents who allow their children under the age of 21 to drink? Ex: A 19-year-old on Christmas Eve drinking beer, and an 18 year-old drinking mixed drinks.
My parents didn't care that Id have a drink when i was 18/19 during a holiday dinner. they knew i was doing worse when i was out of the house anyway and if i went for more than one, they freaked.
personally, i don't have kids so i can't say what my true feelings are. however someone raises their kid as long as they aren't hurting them - none of my business.
As stated above, these teens were having one drink after another.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:18 PM |
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anonttcer
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Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by BabySammie
Posted by DaniRella
Posted by KarenG2003
I think it's ridiculous, unnecessary, and irresponsible. It sends a TERRIBLE message to the child! I can't STAND when parents try to be their child's "friend" and not their parent.
Thanks Karen - took the words right out of my mouth and typed them for me! Being a child's "friend" is, IMO, the worst thing you can do to a child -- you are doing them a HUGE disservice when they become an adult.
I dont think just b/c you let your child have a drink means your trying to be their "friend".. My parents allowed me to have a beer on holidays and I wouldnt say they were trying to be my "friend". Its not like they handed me the beer saying "Chug this".. I just happen to ask at that age can I have a beer.. and they said "okay".. No biggie and still respected my parents as my parents and followed their rules.
I agree 100%. Trust me when I tell you- my parents never tried to "be my friend". They were strict, they were tough, we had RULES and HELL to pay if the rules were broken.
I feared my parents when I broke the rules.
But having a drink or 2 at a family function at which they were present was not a huge deal to them...that's all.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:19 PM |
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kristinel
Steinbeck
Member since 5/08 1224 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by BabySammie
Posted by DaniRella
Posted by KarenG2003
I think it's ridiculous, unnecessary, and irresponsible. It sends a TERRIBLE message to the child! I can't STAND when parents try to be their child's "friend" and not their parent.
Thanks Karen - took the words right out of my mouth and typed them for me! Being a child's "friend" is, IMO, the worst thing you can do to a child -- you are doing them a HUGE disservice when they become an adult.
I dont think just b/c you let your child have a drink means your trying to be their "friend".. My parents allowed me to have a beer on holidays and I wouldnt say they were trying to be my "friend". Its not like they handed me the beer saying "Chug this".. I just happen to ask at that age can I have a beer.. and they said "okay".. No biggie and still respected my parents as my parents and followed their rules.
I agree 100%. Trust me when I tell you- my parents never tried to "be my friend". They were strict, they were tough, we had RULES and HELL to pay if the rules were broken.
I feared my parents when I broke the rules.
But having a drink or 2 at a family function at which they were present was not a huge deal to them...that's all.
Second time...These teens were drinking one drink after the other.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:20 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by kristinel
As stated above, these teens were having one drink after another.
did you say anything? was it your house?
my BIL lets my nephew and niece (his kids from his 1st marriage) drink from time to time.
when they are in MY house, they are only allowed to on special occassions b/c I am responsible for what happens in MY house.
on Christmas Day, he offered his son a beer, I told him he could NOT drink with dinner and would have to wait until the "toast".
they both respected my decision.
and it's not to say I thought he would be pounding them back...I just didn't think a beer at dinner was appropriate so I said something in MY house.
He did have a glass of champagne later. and I was fine with that too.
ETA: you asked a general question about how people feel about parents letting their kids have a drink. we can't and shouldn't be giving opinions on what YOU witnessed. if it makes you uncomfortable, so be it. but pressing the details of what YOU saw and asking for opinions on it makes no sense to me.
Message edited 12/30/2008 4:24:37 PM.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:22 PM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by kristinel
Second time...These teens were drinking one drink after the other.
Now you didnt say this in OP.. and I put in my first response it depended on how much, and I think many who said no biggie to them would feel the same. No one wants their child to get alcohol poisioning .. causing possible death.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:24 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Underage Drinking
There is a difference between your kid drinking underage & having it be in front of you.
One condones it. The other does not.
I drank underage. My parents knew about it (and I'd get in trouble for it) but wouldn't even consider allowing me to drink at a family party, nor would I dream of having something in front of them.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:25 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
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Stephanie
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by saraH
flame away, but i will NOT be that mom. it's not cool for all my kids friends to be driniking at my house.
I think it sets a bad example.
no one said they would allow all their kids friends to drink at their home, that would not fly with me either
the OP was asking about letting your child have a beer on a holiday with the family...H.U.G.E difference to me 
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:32 PM |
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