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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
I was allowed to drink at family functions when I was a teenager. My parents did it not because they were trying to be my friend (believe me those were not my parents) but because to them and in our culture it just was not a huge deal. I never drank excessively and all was fine.
When I went away to college it was really interesting because I did not see the big deal in drinking because I had already been there, done that. It seemed to me that the kids who had never had any alcohol were the ones drinking the most excessively.
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Posted 12/30/08 4:32 PM  |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
I just wanted to mention for those saying that it is breaking the law - under NY law there is a parent/guardian exception the underage drinking law. So if you are serving YOUR child alcohol in a private home it is perfectly legal.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:39 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by stickydust
I just wanted to mention for those saying that it is breaking the law - under NY law there is a parent/guardian exception the underage drinking law. So if you are serving YOUR child alcohol in a private home it is perfectly legal.
really? I never knew that
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:43 PM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: Underage Drinking
My 2 cents...
I was allowed to have a cocktail or beer at family functions probably starting when I was 17. It was never more than one or two, in my home, no driving, etc. My parents wouldn't let my friends have drinks if they came over.
I had been drinking long before I was allowed to have drinks at family celebrations.
Everyone is different. I think it is unfair to flame people...like a PP said, there's a huge difference between a kegger and a glass of wine.
I also agree that 21 is just an arbitrary number and you are no more responsible to be legally able to drink then than another age. In France there is no drinking age per se but you don't see 10 year old's going to the pub 
And especially people who fight for our country? I'll be the first to hand them a beer.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:45 PM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by stickydust
I just wanted to mention for those saying that it is breaking the law - under NY law there is a parent/guardian exception the underage drinking law. So if you are serving YOUR child alcohol in a private home it is perfectly legal.
really? I never knew that
Yes it is true but they are looking more for parents who allow their kids to have huge keg parties while they are home as opposed to a drink at Christmas dinner.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:46 PM |
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Tulips915
................
Member since 8/08 6851 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by heathergirl
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by stickydust
I just wanted to mention for those saying that it is breaking the law - under NY law there is a parent/guardian exception the underage drinking law. So if you are serving YOUR child alcohol in a private home it is perfectly legal.
really? I never knew that
Yes it is true but they are looking more for parents who allow their kids to have huge keg parties while they are home as opposed to a drink at Christmas dinner.
Actually in Nassau its illegal for parents to host parties for kids underage
Nassau Social Host Law
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:50 PM |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by stickydust
I just wanted to mention for those saying that it is breaking the law - under NY law there is a parent/guardian exception the underage drinking law. So if you are serving YOUR child alcohol in a private home it is perfectly legal.
really? I never knew that
Yup - I just looked it up. It is interesting because although Possession of alcohol by Minors is prohibited (with exceptions for parent/guardian, religious etc.), the actual CONSUMPTION is not expressly prohibited.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:50 PM |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by SB7308
Posted by heathergirl
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by stickydust
I just wanted to mention for those saying that it is breaking the law - under NY law there is a parent/guardian exception the underage drinking law. So if you are serving YOUR child alcohol in a private home it is perfectly legal.
really? I never knew that
Yes it is true but they are looking more for parents who allow their kids to have huge keg parties while they are home as opposed to a drink at Christmas dinner.
Actually in Nassau its illegal for parents to host parties for kids underage
Nassau Social Host Law
Yes, but there is a difference in providing alcohol to your own child and providing alcohol to other people's children. That is why the exception is for parents or guardians.
Message edited 12/30/2008 4:52:13 PM.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:51 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by stickydust
I just wanted to mention for those saying that it is breaking the law - under NY law there is a parent/guardian exception the underage drinking law. So if you are serving YOUR child alcohol in a private home it is perfectly legal.
Interesting-I didn't know this.
I guess if the parent cites this law and makes sure the kid understand that no law is being broken-then under that specific situation, I guess it's okay. I doubt most parents do this so in the eyes of the kid, my guess is the law is still being broken.
However, I still wouldn't as I don't live in NY and it is easier for me to say "no, it's illegal" and sends a clearer message to my kid about where we stand on this issue.
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| Posted 12/30/08 4:53 PM |
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ArmyOfBabies
Growing older but not up
Member since 7/07 4427 total posts
Name:
Jeri
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Re: Underage Drinking
Once my kid(s) were say, 18, I would let them have a glass of wine with a special occasion dinner (like holidays) as long as it were only one glass and they weren't going anywere else afterward.
I would also, before they hit that age, make sure they understand the responsibility that goes allong with the privelage of having a drink, as some of you might recall, I had a drinking problem when I was younger. I don't want my children to go down that path.
However, I would not serve their friends. That is something that their parents have to decide.
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| Posted 12/30/08 5:12 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Bxgell2
I think it depends on the context, and the amount. When I was growing up I was always allowed to join in on a little Manischewitz for special occasions and holidays.
So did I. I'd get maybe 2-3 sips and that was it. I never abused it or drank with friends while in HS.
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| Posted 12/30/08 5:12 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Underage Drinking
Honestly it depends on how mature they are.
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| Posted 12/30/08 5:16 PM |
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luckyinlove
I love my baby girls!
Member since 12/06 2441 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Underage Drinking
I did it when I was underage, but my parents never outwardly condoned it. I think I will probably be the same way, so long as my kid is a good kid who doesn't have any visible dependency issues. I will never buy my kids alcohol or allow them and their friends to drink in my house, though. Way too much of a liability!
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| Posted 12/30/08 5:17 PM |
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Reese32
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 3631 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Mikismom
honestly, I have no problem with this. As long as they are not driving, I think if an 18 year old can die for our country, s/he can have a beer with the family...JMHO
That's exactly how I look at it.
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| Posted 12/30/08 5:18 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Underage Drinking
Sure I did it. Never in my house. I won't allow it in my house when Abby has her friends over. Will it happen anyway? Maybe if they are smart enough to hide it. But I sure as hell won't be responsible for it nor do I condone it.
Message edited 12/30/2008 5:21:51 PM.
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| Posted 12/30/08 5:21 PM |
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kristinel
Steinbeck
Member since 5/08 1224 total posts
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by kristinel
As stated above, these teens were having one drink after another.
did you say anything? was it your house?
my BIL lets my nephew and niece (his kids from his 1st marriage) drink from time to time.
when they are in MY house, they are only allowed to on special occassions b/c I am responsible for what happens in MY house.
on Christmas Day, he offered his son a beer, I told him he could NOT drink with dinner and would have to wait until the "toast".
they both respected my decision.
and it's not to say I thought he would be pounding them back...I just didn't think a beer at dinner was appropriate so I said something in MY house.
He did have a glass of champagne later. and I was fine with that too.
ETA: you asked a general question about how people feel about parents letting their kids have a drink. we can't and shouldn't be giving opinions on what YOU witnessed. if it makes you uncomfortable, so be it. but pressing the details of what YOU saw and asking for opinions on it makes no sense to me.
Okay, then disregard and stick to the OP. That's cool.
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| Posted 12/30/08 5:21 PM |
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mommyago
♥ Lucas and Layla
Member since 8/08 2979 total posts
Name:
Jenise
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Re: Underage Drinking
Honestly, i wouldnt stick my nose in other peoples business so i dont think id say anything unless it was in my home
Although if i saw the kid was drinking several drinks (and its not just one or two) i might just mention to the parent that he/she have had several drinks so u might want to watch out (maybe even in a joking around tone so i wouldnt be stepping on anyones toes and so they wouldnt think i was judging them as parents)
Personally, i wouldnt condone drinking though like others said i would prob allow my 18 yr old to have one or two but never more then that and i would make sure they knew that they were not allowed to have more then that...and i would never allow my kids friends to drink at my house or anything like that
I was never allowed to drink according to my parents and i def went to college and went nuts (i think i got sick at least once a week from over drinking my whole first year of college) Obviously i learned after while how to drink without getting sick lol
So honestly i prob would have been a little better if i wasnt embracing my freedom from my parents so much when i went away to college
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| Posted 12/30/08 7:43 PM |
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Sneezy
Thankful for my miracle!
Member since 5/05 1939 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Underage Drinking
I think one drink is okay between the ages of 18-20, but my kids would stop there. It sets a bad example and gives an "anything goes" message.
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| Posted 12/30/08 7:47 PM |
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WNA01
my 2 boys
Member since 10/08 4240 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by kristinel
Ex: A 19-year-old on Christmas Eve drinking beer, and an 18 year-old drinking mixed drinks.
honestly, I have no problem with this. As long as they are not driving, I think if an 18 year old can die for our country, s/he can have a beer with the family...JMHO
ITA!!!
I remember at about 15 16 years old having a glass of wine once in a while at the dinner table.
last summer my niece asked if she can taste my (alcpholic)drink. i said sure. she sipped and spit lol. till this day she gags when she sees alcohol!
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| Posted 12/30/08 7:53 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Underage Drinking
I grew up drinking wine - from the time I was about 8 years old I was allowed wine with supper.
I don't know how I feel about it - I don't involve myself in other people's parenting unless their is blatant abuse or neglect. I don't think allowing a drink at a social function for a teen who won't be driving qualifies as abuse.
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| Posted 12/30/08 7:58 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Underage Drinking
I never was allowed to have any drink when underage at home, never went crazy drinking in college (or high school), and won't allow my kids to drink underage at home either.
Recent studies show that parents who allow their children to have some alcohol at home actually further the problem of alcohol abuse, though many feel they are decreasing the chance of alcohol abuse.
"....However, the study also showed that banning children from consuming alcohol at home considerably decreased the risk in making teenage drinkers.
Professor of Psychology John Toumbourou said that the results came as a wake-up call for parents who thought that it was right to allow their children to have a sip of alcohol.
“Parents totally underestimate the influence they have on their teenager’s drinking and the harm they put them in by letting them drink at home,” he said.
“We found that teens were around half as likely to have consumed alcohol by age 13 when their parents said that they did not allow their children to have even a small sip of alcohol at home or at celebrations in the first year of secondary school,” he added.
If the parents drank regularly or smoked, their children were more likely to drink. However, firm rules to prohibit alcohol still worked in homes in which parents were regular drinkers or smokers.
“The findings suggest clear directions parents can take to curb the currently alarming rates of teenage alcohol consumption,” said Professor Toumbourou.
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| Posted 12/30/08 8:05 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
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They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by stickydust
I was allowed to drink at family functions when I was a teenager. My parents did it not because they were trying to be my friend (believe me those were not my parents) but because to them and in our culture it just was not a huge deal. I never drank excessively and all was fine.
When I went away to college it was really interesting because I did not see the big deal in drinking because I had already been there, done that. It seemed to me that the kids who had never had any alcohol were the ones drinking the most excessively.
Same in my house - and trust me, my parents were NEVER trying to be my friend. The parent / friend line was VERY clear at all times in my household.
We weren't allowed to drink whenever we wanted or whatever and how much we wanted... but we were allowed to have a half a glass of wine at a holiday dinner or a beer at a family function at our house. I honestly think it was a good thing b/c I never saw alcohol as a big deal (and still don't). I didn't drink other than what my parents allowed in high school either.
My parents never served us alcohol in front of our friends nor would they ever serve anyone else who was underage.
I think how PARENTS and other adults drink and act around alcohol has a much more profound impact on teens than whether or not teens are allowed to drink at home. Prohibiting your child from drinking until they are 21 doesn't quite have a huge impact if you and others in your home are constantly abusing alcohol... JMHO.
Message edited 12/30/2008 8:07:28 PM.
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| Posted 12/30/08 8:06 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by kristinel
As stated above, these teens were having one drink after another.
did you say anything? was it your house?
my BIL lets my nephew and niece (his kids from his 1st marriage) drink from time to time.
when they are in MY house, they are only allowed to on special occassions b/c I am responsible for what happens in MY house.
on Christmas Day, he offered his son a beer, I told him he could NOT drink with dinner and would have to wait until the "toast".
they both respected my decision.
and it's not to say I thought he would be pounding them back...I just didn't think a beer at dinner was appropriate so I said something in MY house.
He did have a glass of champagne later. and I was fine with that too.
ETA: you asked a general question about how people feel about parents letting their kids have a drink. we can't and shouldn't be giving opinions on what YOU witnessed. if it makes you uncomfortable, so be it. but pressing the details of what YOU saw and asking for opinions on it makes no sense to me.
I agree with you Jess. I don't think a parent has the right to dictate that their child can drink in someone else's home... and while I personally don't have a problem with parents allowing their children to have a drink or two in their own house for a special occasion... but I would never serve a minor alcohol (even with their parents' consent) in my own house. I'M responsible for what happens in my house, not their parents.
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| Posted 12/30/08 8:10 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Underage Drinking
my cousins and I were allowed to have a small glass of wine on special occasions I was about 14 y/o but then again drinking age was 18. I was out "drinking" with my friends at 16.
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| Posted 12/30/08 8:15 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Underage Drinking
Based on your example..as long as they arent driving, I would have no issue with it.
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| Posted 12/30/08 8:16 PM |
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