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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by MrsMerlot
respected them, myself, and the permission to do so.
and this, my friend, is the moral of the story.
if you teach your child to respect YOU and respect his/herself, you are in a far better position. if you teach them where the line is, and teach them that the choices they make are on THEM...then you are giving them the skills the need to make the choices you BOTH can be proud of.
if more girls respected themselves, men would be on the internet A LOT less.  
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Posted 12/31/08 10:24 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Underage Drinking
On a seperate but related note...
How many of us went to bars / clubs as a teen...I'm talked 16-19ish...I was at a bar every weekend!! Is it still the same now? I have no idea.
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| Posted 12/31/08 10:29 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by MrsMerlot
respected them, myself, and the permission to do so.
and this, my friend, is the moral of the story.
if you teach your child to respect YOU and respect his/herself, you are in a far better position.
I agree-but what about respecting the Law too?
As I said, I agree that the drinking age should be changed. However, until it is, we will abide by the law and our kids will not drink underage with our blessing.
If you reference the parent exception to the law as Sticky did and your kids are aware that no law is being broken, then fine. Outside of that, I think it is inappropriate.
And before anyone makes a leap, I'm not saying we should all just do as we are told and never question the law, etc. But, unless a law goes against our civil liberties or basic human rights, then I think the law should be respected until it is changed.
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| Posted 12/31/08 10:52 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by CrankyPants
I agree-but what about respecting the Law too?
i believe, but am not 100% certain, that minors are allowed to drink alcohol in their own home with parental permission/attendance. i don't know where to find data on that, but i remember reading it.
so if that's true, you still are respecting the law by allowing your child to have alcohol in your own home.
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| Posted 12/31/08 11:02 AM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by MrsMerlot
respected them, myself, and the permission to do so.
and this, my friend, is the moral of the story.
if you teach your child to respect YOU and respect his/herself, you are in a far better position.
I agree-but what about respecting the Law too?
As I said, I agree that the drinking age should be changed. However, until it is, we will abide by the law and our kids will not drink underage with our blessing.
If you reference the parent exception to the law as Sticky did and your kids are aware that no law is being broken, then fine. Outside of that, I think it is inappropriate.
And before anyone makes a leap, I'm not saying we should all just do as we are told and never question the law, etc. But, unless a law goes against our civil liberties or basic human rights, then I think the law should be respected until it is changed.
This is certainly not directed at you, but a general statement.
Law is set forth by a governing body, doesn't mean that all abide, all respect.
There are some ridiculous laws out there, and I'm definitely NOT saying that a legal drinking age law is ridiculous, but plenty of laws are broken.
In my house (the one I pay the mortgage for), I set the law, and I follow the rules that I want thereby.
If the cops / legislative body want to come into my house and give me a summons, I'll pay for it, I'll show up in court, but it's not going to deter me from encouraging/discouraging anything in my own home.
Would I allow underage drinking of my child's friends in my home - NO.
Would I allow underage drinking of my child in my own home or of a family members - YES.
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| Posted 12/31/08 11:05 AM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Underage Drinking
and I just want to say this - I don't know a single person that abides by EVERY SINGLE law that is put out there...
We've all spit our gum out where we shouldn't, we've all left litter on the ground, we've all been in the park after dusk...there are rules/regulations/laws for everything out there in this country...doesn't mean that anyone follows them religiously.
When it comes to drinking, I believe it's something that should be regulated on the merchant side.
Once it leaves the store, there's no way of tracking who's drinking it and where - if it's done at a home - no regulating body, if it's done in a bar/club - then again, it's back on the merchant to make sure it doesn't happen.
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| Posted 12/31/08 11:10 AM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: Underage Drinking
 it's almost embarassing how much of a goody goody I was.
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| Posted 12/31/08 11:10 AM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
Message edited 1/17/2012 11:14:27 AM.
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| Posted 12/31/08 11:15 AM |
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firsttimer
Member since 5/07 1532 total posts
Name:
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Re: Underage Drinking
It will not happen in my house with my children.
And I would be ****** if my children were drinking at another house and the parents knowingly allowed it.
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| Posted 12/31/08 11:52 AM |
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VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: Underage Drinking
I don't think it's a huge deal for someone that age to have a drink or two at a family function, as long as they're not driving. At 19 I was away at college and drinking anyways, as were the majority of my friends.
In most countries it's very, very normal.
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| Posted 12/31/08 11:56 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Underage Drinking
and we have already discussed that the LAW allows for parental discression in the HOME. at least in NY.
now if the governing bodies respect a parents right to decide what they allow their children to do in the home, who I am to say or judge?
btw, there are some VERY antiquated blue laws still on the books...oral sex, anal sex, adultery, sex BEFORE marriage, sex with animals (there's that damned unicorn again  )
it seems unfair to break certain laws ourselves at our convenience, but then malign those that break similar laws that WE wouldn't.
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| Posted 12/31/08 12:01 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Ophelia
and we have already discussed that the LAW allows for parental discretion in the HOME. at least in NY.
True-but I don't think most kids know this (nor most adults for that matter), so it gives the appearance of breaking the law. If the parent explains to the kid that no law is being broken because of section xys.233.sa of the penal code, then I don't have an issue. I just don't really believe that this is happening in most cases so I think parents are giving the impression that it is okay to break the law.
Mrs. Merlot makes a good point about putting it on the merchant. I think the bigger contributor to alcohol abuse by kids is the merchant who sells/serves them. But to me that is a separate issue.
Posted by Ophelia
btw, there are some VERY antiquated blue laws still on the books...oral sex, anal sex, adultery, sex BEFORE marriage, sex with animals (there's that damned unicorn again )
I guess my thinking/hope is that in only rare cases do these things happen in public and with witnesses. You (universal "you") are not demonstrating to your kid that you are breaking the law by having at it with the family pooch in front of them or telling them it's okay to do so. You are not setting an example that it is okay to break the law.
In the case of underage drinking, the kid is imbibing in the presence of their parents with what may appear to be a blatant disregard for the law.
Message edited 12/31/2008 1:19:19 PM.
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| Posted 12/31/08 12:22 PM |
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ARIELSMOM
Love my Babes
Member since 8/05 5889 total posts
Name:
MEREDITH
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Re: Underage Drinking
when i was that age, i drank. But as a parent i dont know how i would feel b/c my kids arent that age yet, i hope to not mind and be able to have enough trust in them.
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| Posted 12/31/08 12:29 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Underage Drinking
Posted by Shorty
it's almost embarassing how much of a goody goody I was.
me too
the way people talk sometimes- it makes me feel like i'm some kind of alien but then again, my sister and brother were exactly like me so i guess all three of us are from mars growing up it wasn't easy being the one who listened to the rules -- and i would see and hear people doing things that made me feel like i was a total weirdo (like i stated above) but that's how we were raised - and we, shockingly, listened to what our parents told us to do.
it's weird because we were never allowed to drink in front of our parents - not even a "try a sip" or anything like that. so, i guess you could say it was a strict environment? it didn't feel that way - it just felt like, these are the rules, this is the law, follow it... and we did.
then, to contrast, my husband grew up in a house where drinking wine with dinner from the age of 15/16 on was normal, drinking a few beers at a family wedding was normal -- at 16. and at his graduation party in the backyard when he graduated HS he was allowed to drink what he wanted. my husband went away to college after being "exposed" to alcohol and being allowed to have what he wanted -- you would say, then, that the "forbidden factor" would have been satisfied... well, maybe for others but my husband drank his effing FACE off in college - he had huge rugby parties, drank TO get drunk, went to big beer fests and all sorts of stuff like that -- luckily, he's a good kid and didn't do drugs - funny, his parents told him they would KILL him if they ever found out he did drugs so he never did and still says it, all scared, "i knew the one thing NEVER to do because my dad would KILL me" -- but the drinking, was allowed, and he drank like crazy in college?
...this is not to prove any point wrong or anything -- it's just to say that everyone is different and that you can't say "if you do.... then THIS will happen" or vice-versa. you can only say your "theory" and hope for the best and hope for what you want as an outcome. there's an exception to everything - i guess.
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| Posted 12/31/08 12:51 PM |
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