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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
Ohhh Noreen... I'm so sorry that you're struggling so much... you know that we're all here for you when you need the support 
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Posted 1/4/10 10:19 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
mirla122
Hot! Hot! Hot!
Member since 1/06 1732 total posts
Name:
Mirla
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I think I'm far from port jeff but if somehow we organize some frozen meals I'll be glad to contribute. 
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:26 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:32 AM |
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lullabella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2246 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I am soo sorry, cant even imagine what you must be going through. I really hope your husband gets well. Please remember you have to take care of yourself too.
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:44 AM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
Posted by CheeChee
One thing ive learned since this happened is that the mental health portion of healthcare is a disgrace.. especially in this state. Its like I keep running into dead end after dead end. It sux..
I feel your pain and understand 100000% of what you mean. We were dealing with something different but like you we have found out that the system is a disgrace and after running into dead ends you find it hard NOT to lose hope. Even trying to get in contact with people who specialize in helping others in these type of situations can be a nightmare. We were recommended a lawyer for something and this lawyer specializes in what we needed help in. That was a waste because I literally had to harass her for weeks just to get an appt that never happened. We ended up finding someone else who is able and willing to help us. My point is that you cant give up and you have to believe that there is someone out there who will help and listen to you. It can be a full time job and it's draining but please know that somehow it will all work out. If there is anything I can do to help..please FM me
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:49 AM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I live in East Northport- I can drive to you if you need babysitting. I have family in the area who can watch my DC......
Please let us know how we can help!!
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| Posted 1/4/10 11:02 AM |
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BMonster
:)
Member since 2/06 2959 total posts
Name:
Denise
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/4/10 11:12 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/4/10 2:29 PM |
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babyonthebrain
Brotherly Love!
Member since 1/08 6209 total posts
Name:
Rafaela
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I'm s sorry you are going through this. I don't know the history of your story is this something that happened recently to your DH or something he's had all his life?
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| Posted 1/4/10 2:32 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/4/10 2:36 PM |
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Lola
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1854 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I'm so sorry that you are going through this
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| Posted 1/4/10 3:30 PM |
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AndreaLMT
:)
Member since 5/05 6856 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
Oh my Goodness...I had no idea this was going on.
You sound so strong & are doing such an amazing job, especially with your gorgeous little guy Jacob!
I'm here if you ever need to vent!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sending you lots of hugs & prayers!!!!!!!!!!!
~Andrea
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| Posted 1/4/10 4:04 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
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| Posted 1/4/10 4:05 PM |
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CheeChee
HI THERE!!!!
Member since 5/05 3416 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
Posted by pnbplus1
I'm so sorry that you are dealing with all of this. You sound like an amazing mother and I'm sure that your son will recognize this in the future when he gets a littles older (we all see it now).
I saw one of your replies and I noticed that you wrote about mental health coverage or lack therof. Check into coverage again. I know there have been bills passed regarding mental health parity and mental health services are now supposed to be covered to the same extent that medical services are. I hope that something can eventually be done to help you DH. Oh, and you really should be in therapy (as should your DS). This is a lot for you to have to handle on your own. Also, your DS is being affected and it might be helpful for him to see someone for play therapy to help him express his own feelings regarding the situation. Look into psychological services that may be offered in universities that have psychology master's and/or doctoral programs and also local hospitals that take psychology interns and externs (that's how we get trained, by working at school/hospital sites). Most of these will have a sliding scale.
There is a psychological services center affiliated with Long Island University where doctoral students train. They offer services on a sliding scale. They see children, adults, families, etc. It was in Roslyn when I was there but they might have moved to Brookville again, not sure. If you are interested FM me and I will get you the info. You may be able to both get apptmts at the same time this way you don't have to worry about finding a babysitter for your DS as you'll each be attending your own individual therapy concurrently.
Thank you for this info.. I got Jacob child health plus, and so I am going to def look into taking him to therapy for all that is going on.
As for me, i am going to start by attending one of the support groups at one of the hospitals in my town.. and go from there. Thank you again tho.. i truly appreciate it!
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| Posted 1/4/10 7:15 PM |
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TaraHutch
True beauty
Member since 10/07 9888 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH*****
I'm so very sorry you're going through this. Hang in there, you are stronger than you think!!!
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| Posted 1/4/10 7:35 PM |
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CheeChee
HI THERE!!!!
Member since 5/05 3416 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****
****UPDATE: 1/16/10 ****
Hi ladies, just wanted to let you all know how things are going here.
DH is still very bad.. actually getting worse. Now he is blurting out words uncontrollably like tourettes syndrome, alternating with his OCD rituals. He is completely messed up with sleeping. He stays up all nite doing rituals and goes to sleep at like 8am.. then he sleeps till like 6 or 7 pm.
I tried to break the cycle of sleeping by making him stay up one day last week instead of going to sleep at 8am. Figured he would be up like almost 24 hrs and then go to sleep at a normal hour like 8 or 9pm and wake in morn. That backfired, he wound up staying awake for 33 hours straight, and then going to sleep at 4 am.. and waking at 4 pm.
Sometimes when i think he's asleep, his eyes pop open, get wide, and then he goes into rituals.. its sooooo strange. Its like his brain wont let him relax.
I am taking Jacob to counseling starting this week. Well first they want to meet with me, to get the story. Its actually through the church by my house so its free, which is fantastic.
Spoke to the neurosurgeon and I have an appt on Feb 9th with a psychiatrist that is on the panel of dr's that will approve the surgery. He has to be approved by all these dr's because they need to make sure he is the right candidate for the surgery. I asked surgeon how long this can take because he is going downhill every day. He said the approval can take about 6 weeks and then, because the surgery is new, it will depend on the insurance company. They can drag their feet saying they dont want to pay. 
So in my estimation, i'm guessing it will take until the spring/summer before this happens, if it does at all.
When DH is having a coherent moment he says he hates his life, and wishes he were dead. We rarely speak anymore, and i cant help yelling at him because Jacob gets so upset..
I feel like I need a break, but my inlaws wont take him to their house, my MIL says she "cant see her son like this" .. but its ok for her grandson to see the erratic behavior day in and day out. I hate them. My MIL always says.. "let me take Jacob for a while" ??????????
NOooooooo, you take your son, and i'll worry about mine.. how bout that??
I dont like to think or speak about what will happen if the surgery doesnt work. I keep telling myself it will, but there is a great chance it may not. I just cant imagine DH living the rest of his days like this??? and i really believe if this doesnt work, at some point he will try to kill himself. And as much as i love him and want "us" to work, I ultimately cannot live the rest of my life with no husband.. no help from him.. no interaction from him. Is that fair to me? Is it fair to Jacob?
I am going to a support group this coming wednesday...with hopes i will get some comfort for myself and maybe some networking to help DH.. I know him staying home all day is not helping, but havent found anywhere for him to go during the day. I applied to local food stores for a job for him, even if he collects shopping carts.. just to give him some outside stimulation for few hours. No call backs yet.
So the days turn into weeks, turn into months... and all I can do is wait i guess.
so that is the update as of now.. and I thank you all again for all your well wishes, prayers, and offers of help.. may God bless you all!!!!
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:23 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****
gosh you are going through so much
hugs and prayers to you all....you are a strong woman and a great mom
I know your son is young but have you tried to explain to him that daddy is sick and it has nothing to do with him?
my heart breaks for you all
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:27 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****
many prayers
please keep us updated on the counseling.
I hope it helps
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:29 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****
Wow, I am so sorry for all that you are going through. You are a very very very strong woman. Please keep us posted and let us know if there is anything we can do to help out at all. Many prayers for you, your DH, and of course your son!
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:30 PM |
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CheeChee
HI THERE!!!!
Member since 5/05 3416 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****
Posted by pinkandblue
gosh you are going through so much
hugs and prayers to you all....you are a strong woman and a great mom
I know your son is young but have you tried to explain to him that daddy is sick and it has nothing to do with him?
my heart breaks for you all
Yes i have tried to explain to Jacob that daddy is sick, and we we are trying to get him well.. and Jacob says things like, "When will daddy be himself again?".. then he tells his teachers that "My daddy repeats himself all nite long (thats the blurting out i was talking about) and the teachers ask Jacob what he does and Jacob says, " I yell at him".. 
Breaks my heart but Jacob knows that is not the proper way to speak, and so he yells at DH to STOPPPPP REPEATINGGG YOURSELFFFF.. i try to intervene, talk calmly to Jacob, and oh its just a vicious cycle.. i ask DH to go into the bedroom and close the door to shelter Jacob, but DH ignores me.. then i get annoyed.. again.. vicious cycle..
Message edited 1/16/2010 9:35:02 PM.
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:33 PM |
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landj
After 4 years, 1000 posts!
Member since 7/06 1124 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****
Many prayers for you and your family .
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:42 PM |
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Juliet
Family is Complete!
Member since 5/05 5913 total posts
Name:
Juliet
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****
Just want to send some more hugs and prayers. Mental illness is not fun and it is horrible that there is such a stigma attached to it when whole lives are turned upside town because of it.
I hope your DH is a candidate for the surgery and it works. You and your DS need him to come back to you.
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:47 PM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****
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| Posted 1/16/10 10:00 PM |
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Ladybug3
Two is better than one!!!
Member since 12/07 4474 total posts
Name:
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****
thinking of you guys!!!
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| Posted 1/16/10 10:01 PM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: ***UPDATE ON MY DH 1/16/10*****
you are so strong. plse keep us posted
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| Posted 1/16/10 10:03 PM |
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