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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
Is it difficult? Absolutely! But it's doable! And as others have said you don't have to go to the entire event
Given its your brother in law's wedding I think the right thing to do is to go.
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Posted 4/20/14 8:49 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
NASP09
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Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I wouldn't have gone. After just 2 weeks I was still recovering and DS was not a sleeper. He napped for half an hour at a time. If you can manage to bring your mother, maybe go for an hour or 2, or go just to the ceremony.
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| Posted 4/20/14 9:01 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I think every person is different. Bottom line, your mom sounds uncomfortable with babysitting for 8 hours. I would try to go to the ceremony and then go home. If you feel up to it. I had a c section and would not have felt able to go. I would hope they would understand.
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| Posted 4/20/14 9:51 AM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I personally felt pretty good at 2 weeks pp. I would go for however long I could since it's your BIL. Ask your mom how long she is willing to watch the baby for and then work it around that. At 2 weeks old they are still sleeping a lot.
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| Posted 4/20/14 10:12 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I love all the comments about how newborns sleep. I wish my DD would have gotten that memo! At 2 weeks old we couldn't even take her for a walk...she screamed so loud and so much that people outside would stop and stare. She would doze for 20 min at a time around the clock.
However my parents were 100 percent comfortable watching her should we have to go somewhere. If your mom is not, then I would just go for the ceremony. I would NOT bring a newborn to the ceremony or the bridal suite etc. Too much hassle and germs.
As a bride I would never have held it against someone with a newborn for not showing up...family or not.
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| Posted 4/20/14 10:22 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I don't mean this rudely, but how has this not been discussed until now? I would think that you would have already discussed the possibility of not attending with BIL and his FW long ago.
I would call the bride ASAP. Explain that your mom isn't comfortable watching the baby for that long. Tell her not to count you in the final count for the reception. That you will be happy to attend the ceremony, because you would hate to miss it. Then tell her you'll check in with your mom after the ceremony. If your mom and the baby are doing ok, then you can go to cocktail hour. If your mom is stressed, you will have to go home.
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| Posted 4/20/14 10:50 AM |
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kn2011
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/10 537 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
Everyones situation is diffIerent. Is the baby colic-y, is baby sleeping? Personally in my situation I would go... At least for a few hours.. Its family. Had it been a random friend/coworker ect .. NO. But its family. I would at least attend the ceremony take pictures and the first few hours of the reception... and leave. Also, it depends what your mom is nervous about... I would even ask if there's somewhere she can stay with the baby at the hall, or a local hotel where you can be closer if thats the concern.
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| Posted 4/20/14 11:39 AM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
Posted by WannaBeAMom11
At 2 weeks I still felt like crap and had baby attached to the boob 24/7. I would not have felt up to get dressed up and certainly would not have felt comfortable leaving my baby with anyone. Sounds though too like your mom isn't comfortable watching the baby. Id have Dh go and send my regrets. They are family and should realize there was a very strong chance you wouldn't be going.
I agree with this. There's no way I would have felt up to getting all dressed up and driving that far away from dd at two weeks old. I think family should understand.
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| Posted 4/20/14 12:25 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I was in a wedding party as a bridesmaid 18 days after DD was born via c/s. So yes it is doable, you will need a lot of help though. I had my parents come to help me. The bride understood and I used the bridal suite to nurse. I stood up for the wedding and my mom held DD in another room so she would not disrupt the ceremony. For a lot of the time my parents, DH or I held DD. I nursed her as I normally would. It is doable, and I would go baring some kind of emergency.
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| Posted 4/20/14 12:26 PM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
Posted by lazybug
Posted by lynnd126
I would go to the ceremony only and I would tell her ASAP. Two weeks out I doubt she gave her number of guests yet.
I agree with this.
I agree as well. Ceremony, keep baby in infant car seat or in a wrap, say your good wishes after the ceremony and go home.
I feel like the reception would be just too loud. Go for the important part and no one can say boo about not attending.
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| Posted 4/20/14 1:30 PM |
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iluvmynutty
Mom to E&M
Member since 12/08 1762 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
Posted by NervousNell
I love all the comments about how newborns sleep. I wish my DD would have gotten that memo! At 2 weeks old we couldn't even take her for a walk...she screamed so loud and so much that people outside would stop and stare. She would doze for 20 min at a time around the clock.
However my parents were 100 percent comfortable watching her should we have to go somewhere. If your mom is not, then I would just go for the ceremony. I would NOT bring a newborn to the ceremony or the bridal suite etc. Too much hassle and germs.
As a bride I would never have held it against someone with a newborn for not showing up...family or not.
I love reading your posts about your DD because mine was the exact same way! I feel no one other than you understands what I went through with her haha. I could not bring her to a wedding at 2 weeks.
To the OP: Every baby is different and everyone's response to having a baby and recuperation is different. This is a decision only you can make. Whether you are able to go or not should be fine. If your mom is not comfortable watching the baby the whole time, that should be a factor in your decision as well.
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| Posted 4/20/14 2:06 PM |
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jendar
happy bday mom! 7yrs married
Member since 12/13 1323 total posts
Name:
thank you mom. i love you
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I would go to the ceremony. Thats it. Jmo though
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| Posted 4/20/14 4:44 PM |
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
Posted by alli3131
Islip to Roslyn is not far IMO and I'd go. Newborns sleep. And yes something could happen but in reality chances are it won't.
Agreed
Plus it's not just anybody's wedding. It's your husbands brother. I would go if I felt up to it and stuff. It's not a destination wedding or anything.
Message edited 4/20/2014 7:15:13 PM.
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| Posted 4/20/14 6:40 PM |
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
Posted by Leb
I probably wouldn't have gone. My privates didn't feel wonderful at that point. I was breast feeding sometimes every two hours. I wouldn't have felt comfortable leaving her for that long yet. It's only two weeks since you delivered, I think everyone would understand or at least should.
Bottom line is do you even want to go?
This. I wouldn't go. I EBF and couldn't be away from DS for that long bc he feeds on demand and sometimes it's every hour and sometime 4+ hours. So I wouldn't know how much milk to leave. Also, if you're gone for 8 hours you have to bring a pump and pump every 2 hours to make sure you maintain your supply , 2 weeks is still too soon to go that long without nursing/pumping...plus you could become engorged.
I think they should understand. We didn't give the final head count for our wedding until 3 days before, so you should still have time to back out.
Ultimately, go with your gut and don't worry about what anyone else says.
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| Posted 4/20/14 7:13 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
Can you go to just the ceremony? That is IMO more important than the party. This way you see them get married but do not leave for that long? Maybe bring the baby and your mom and she can drive around a bit or take the baby for a walk during the ceremony.
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| Posted 4/20/14 9:20 PM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I wouldn't go.
I felt like shiit 2 weeks after delivering both my children and was in no mood to go anywhere, much less get dressed up for a wedding.
I think your DH's family should understand your situation and not be upset about you not attending. Plus, your mom sounds like she is already nervous about watching your DC. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my child with my mom. I would feel guilty knowing how she felt.
Also, I agree with NervousNell, NOT every 2 week old sleeps all the time. DS was a screaming, crying, fussy baby from the first day we brought him home.
I think you should do what YOU feel comfortable with. They should all understand and respect your decision. If they don't then IMO they are selfish.
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| Posted 4/20/14 9:55 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
Posted by alli3131
Islip to Roslyn is not far IMO and I'd go. Newborns sleep. And yes something could happen but in reality chances are it won't.
I agree. If the baby is healthy, most likely will sleep most of the time you're gone. If you can pump in the car, I'd try that. I wouldn't miss the wedding. I was in a friend's wedding out of state when DS was just a month old & my in-laws watched him, all was fine. But whatever you decide, I'm sure they'll understand.
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| Posted 4/20/14 10:04 PM |
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schmora15
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 2476 total posts
Name:
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Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I BF and pumped. I would take the baby to the ceremony. If you comfortable leaving the baby with your mom do that. I just preferred at that age to nurse instead of bottle feed so there's no confusion.
I would just sit in the back and if you have to leave because they baby wakes up then step out. I would try and nurse the baby before bringing her into the church.
IMO it's not a big deal that you haven't given a definite answer. You just gave birth and I think it's just assumed that it isn't definite. I agree though Roslyn to Islip is not far so I would definitely attempt the ceremony, that's the important part. Congratulations!
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| Posted 4/20/14 10:20 PM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
Just want to say that it is not doable for everyone, close family or not. Depends on so much-type of delivery, baby's personality (yes even at that age), your moms comfort level, etc.
I had a very rough c/s with my 4th and was still bedridden at 2 weeks PP. We also struggled a lot with nursing. I wasn't given clearance to drive until 4 weeks PP, and while I admit I ignored those warnings with previous deliveries, but could barely make it to the car anyway this time around.
After 1 and 2, there would be no question about going. After 3.....maybe. But definitely not 4.
I would also never be hurt or angry at anyone that had a baby even a month before if they decided it was too much, even if it was previously agreed that they would be attending.
If you're feeling well, I would consider going to the ceremony, either with or without the baby. Your mom doesn't sound comfortable so I would not go for the entire wedding. You'll only be more worried if she's worried.
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| Posted 4/20/14 10:45 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I would not miss my BIL's wedding. It's not that far. Go for a few hours.
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| Posted 4/20/14 11:30 PM |
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babyface10
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/11 804 total posts
Name:
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Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I would definitly go too. You are not that far away. You could even go for the ceremony and go home again for an hour if you wanted and if everything was ok go back again. You know your baby too so if you think she will be ok then she should be. I wanted to go to a friends wedding 3 days after a section but DH would not LOL. He said i should still be in hospital and not to chance it.
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| Posted 4/21/14 7:58 AM |
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b2b777
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 4474 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I think it all depends on how you are feeling physically. Are you up to it? If so, I would go for ceremony and then return home.
I would not take the baby. I feel like at 2 weeks pp I was way too exhausted to have to worry about taking him out, the logistics, etc. It will also turn into the whole family being all over the child -- and at 2 weeks I wouldnt like that (germs)...and wouldnt want any of the attention taken from BIL and his wife.
JMO, but id let someone care for him in the comfort of his own home where you know he is safe etc. for 2-3 hours and leave it at that. If taking him with is the only way you think you could go, I would stay home. Just not worth it in my opinion.
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| Posted 4/21/14 9:16 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
You're going to get differeing opinions here - but IMO, you don't skip your husband's brother's wedding unless you're IN the hospital delivering the baby - you just don't
2 weeks after delivery, unless there were major complications, while you (the general 'you') might not "feel up to " getting dressed and going to a wedding .....give me a break! It's immediate family - you suck it up and you get dressed and you go.
In your immediate situation I think you should put the baby in the infant carrier, and at the very least, attend the ceremony.
No one will touch her, or make a big scene over her if you are discreet. Sit in the back of the church - Your family will know you were there to see them get married, and your Mom won't have to stress about watching a 2 week old all day.
Because, honestly, I wouldn't be comfortable at all leaving my kids w/ someone who wasn't comfortable themselves - KWIM?
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| Posted 4/21/14 9:27 AM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
I would most likely go, but if you are nervous plan on going for the ceremony and the cocktail hour. If things are going good at home stay otherwise you can go home I am sure they would understand.
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| Posted 4/21/14 9:45 AM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding and baby is only 2weeks old?
you have to do what you are comfortable with.
personally i would try to go to the ceremony and leave but its up to you
when DD was 2 weeks old i was so exhausted i dont think i would have wanted to dress up and go out...but on the flip side, it may have been nice to get my nails done, makeup done and hair done with an excuse to feel pretty again.
i went to a wedding in NJ when dd was 4 weeks old
i enjoyed myself...but left early bc i was exhausted and knew dd would be waking up to feed numerous times throughout the night
Message edited 4/21/2014 9:50:21 AM.
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| Posted 4/21/14 9:49 AM |
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