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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by Christine
I see a lot of people responding to the TY thread stating there is a rule that permits couples to take one year to send out a thank you card. I checked Emily Post and she says they should be sent within three months if not sooner.
I am not talking about waiting for pictures or unexpected difficulties, etc. - just the one year rule. Until LIW/LIF I never heard of it and wonder where it came from.
I think it's been confused with the "rule" that guests have up to a year to give a gift.
Just a thought: Why is it OK to wait as long as a give a gift but a thank you is expected to go out within three months?
Shouldn't the same rule apply to BOTH sides? 
I never understood the year to give a gift rule either. My personal theory is that it was probably some sort of waiting period to make sure the wedding worked out or some such thing.
But I don't think thank you rules and gift giving rules in this situation should be the same.
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Posted 5/15/07 3:12 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by Christine
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by Christine
I see a lot of people responding to the TY thread stating there is a rule that permits couples to take one year to send out a thank you card. I checked Emily Post and she says they should be sent within three months if not sooner.
I am not talking about waiting for pictures or unexpected difficulties, etc. - just the one year rule. Until LIW/LIF I never heard of it and wonder where it came from.
I think it's been confused with the "rule" that guests have up to a year to give a gift.
Just a thought: Why is it OK to wait as long as a give a gift but a thank you is expected to go out within three months?
Shouldn't the same rule apply to BOTH sides?
I never understood the year to give a gift rule either. My personal theory is that it was probably some sort of waiting period to make sure the wedding worked out or some such thing.
But I don't think thank you rules and gift giving rules in this situation should be the same.
Why is this situation different from any other? (Please note my tone on this is NOT b!tchy!!  ) I'm just curious.
Personally, I think the rules for gift giving and TY sending should be the same across the board. I don't necessarily know what the time frame should be but none the less, they should be equal. IMHO.
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| Posted 5/15/07 3:32 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by Jennie0898
Why is this situation different from any other? (Please note my tone on this is NOT b!tchy!! ) I'm just curious.
Personally, I think the rules for gift giving and TY sending should be the same across the board. I don't necessarily know what the time frame should be but none the less, they should be equal. IMHO.
It's b/c giving a gift is not an obligation - it is a gesture. However if someone has given you a gift, it is your respectful obligation to thank them.
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| Posted 5/15/07 3:43 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by ~Colleen~
Posted by Jennie0898
Why is this situation different from any other? (Please note my tone on this is NOT b!tchy!! ) I'm just curious.
Personally, I think the rules for gift giving and TY sending should be the same across the board. I don't necessarily know what the time frame should be but none the less, they should be equal. IMHO.
It's b/c giving a gift is not an obligation - it is a gesture. However if someone has given you a gift, it is your respectful obligation to thank them.
so, if someone attended a wedding, but takes 6 months to give a gift, and you've sent your ty's out in three...do you send that person a thank you with the first batch, before you receive a gift?
ETA: If the DON"T give a gift, what are you thanking them for? do you send one to nongift-givers?
Message edited 5/15/2007 3:46:35 PM.
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| Posted 5/15/07 3:46 PM |
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jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by Ophelia
I went up and down to every single person at my wedding personally and THANKED them for coming.
they all know me, and my dh, and it goes without saying that we were completely thankful and grateful that they were able to make it.
honestly, if anyone is looking at my calendar and waiting for my thank you, they can do me a favor and hold their breath while doing it.
I can see if I lived in Emily Posts time...when we all didn't have 87,000 different things going on, in addition to WORKING, but I don't.
there should be an amendment to that rule...even our forefathers left room for changes in society.
ETS: they didn't carry my first born, save my life, or carry dh from a burning building. it's a celebration *******...in those immortal words...they attended a party, ate well, and had a great time.
what happened to being honored to share in the special day????
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| Posted 5/15/07 3:47 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by ~Colleen~
Posted by Jennie0898
Why is this situation different from any other? (Please note my tone on this is NOT b!tchy!! ) I'm just curious.
Personally, I think the rules for gift giving and TY sending should be the same across the board. I don't necessarily know what the time frame should be but none the less, they should be equal. IMHO.
It's b/c giving a gift is not an obligation - it is a gesture. However if someone has given you a gift, it is your respectful obligation to thank them.
so, if someone attended a wedding, but takes 6 months to give a gift, and you've sent your ty's out in three...do you send that person a thank you with the first batch, before you receive a gift?
ETA: If the DON"T give a gift, what are you thanking them for? do you send one to nongift-givers?
Yes, you thank the person for celebrating with you - for coming to the event. People don't *have* to give you a gift - it shouldn't be expected - but if they do, they should be properly thanked.
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| Posted 5/15/07 3:48 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by Ophelia
ETA: If the DON"T give a gift, what are you thanking them for? do you send one to nongift-givers?
yes you do...for attending your wedding....
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| Posted 5/15/07 3:48 PM |
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JenG
Love my little boy!
Member since 6/05 2489 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
i have no idea where the 1 yr came from. IMO, waiting a year is a long time. I got my TY's out less than 2 months after my wedding.
same here, i got mine out in 2 months.
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| Posted 5/15/07 3:50 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Ophelia
ETA: If the DON"T give a gift, what are you thanking them for? do you send one to nongift-givers?
yes you do...for attending your wedding....
I sent everyone that attended my wedding a 9- month old thank you card.
IMHO, they were beautiful, and I wrote something meaningful in each one.
I have no doubt that I properly thanked them, and to my knowlege (ie. no smack talk has been reported behind my back) they all felt properly thanked.
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| Posted 5/15/07 3:53 PM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Ophelia
ETA: If the DON"T give a gift, what are you thanking them for? do you send one to nongift-givers?
yes you do...for attending your wedding....
I sent everyone that attended my wedding a 9- month old thank you card.
IMHO, they were beautiful, and I wrote something meaningful in each one.
I have no doubt that I properly thanked them, and to my knowlege (ie. no smack talk has been reported behind my back) they all felt properly thanked.
OK....no one said anything to the contrary...I was just answering your question.....
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| Posted 5/15/07 3:57 PM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
My proofs were ready by the time I got back from my honeymoon so I picked the TY pic right away and I think I got them out under 3 months
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| Posted 5/15/07 3:58 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Lisa
Posted by Ophelia
ETA: If the DON"T give a gift, what are you thanking them for? do you send one to nongift-givers?
yes you do...for attending your wedding....
I sent everyone that attended my wedding a 9- month old thank you card.
IMHO, they were beautiful, and I wrote something meaningful in each one.
I have no doubt that I properly thanked them, and to my knowlege (ie. no smack talk has been reported behind my back) they all felt properly thanked.
OK....no one said anything to the contrary...I was just answering your question.....
oh no...I wasn't being skanky...I was just saying...
I know I have an uncanny ability to sound skanky, but I was just stating facts.
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| Posted 5/15/07 4:06 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
Posted by MrsF519
My proofs were ready by the time I got back from my honeymoon so I picked the TY pic right away and I think I got them out under 3 months
Same here.
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| Posted 5/15/07 4:07 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding Thank You Spin-off
I have read that yes, it does come from a misinterprettion of the 1 year to send a gift rule.
I have also read that you should send the than you notes as soon as you return from you HM, which is unrealisitic, if you are going to send photos ( which not everyone does)
I have a friend that wrote them write out on the airplane on her HM. ( long flight-NY to Australia)
She wouldn't deposit a check untill the thank you was sent. That's a little nuts.
When I don't receivie a thank you, I worry that they didn't receive my gift.
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| Posted 5/15/07 4:30 PM |
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