What do you do when CIO does not work?

I don't know what is wrong with DS. Out of nowhere he will not sleep. He wakes up in the night and won't go back down unless he is in bed with DH and myself, and he cries for at least an hour at bed time. I am don't know what is wrong.

I took him to the doctor, and she said his throat is red but that it is probably because he is crying so much. She took a throat culture and there is no infection.

I am so tired, and I don't want to leave him crying for an hour every night and then crying throughout the night when he wakes up.

What do I do? What do you do when CIO does not work?

I am so tired from him not sleeping I find myself losing my patience and I feel horrible.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

maybe he still needs you a little.

Can you try ferber? That is what I just did with Joey.

I let him cry for 5 minutes, went in did the shhhh's, patted/rubbed his back, said "Mommy is here", if he started to cry again, i waited 10 minutes then went in. . .did that same thing over & over until he went out.

Now we just put him right into bed, it worked for us. Don't get me wrong, some night he still cries a little but he knows how to get himself to sleep now.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

is he teething...my dd went/goes through this when her teeth are bothering her....I couldn't do the CIO I tried it wasn't working for us...the ferber method was working better for us but in the end she would end up in bed with us becouse I was just to exhausted to keep trying but after a few days she would go back to STTN

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

how old is you DC? if younger than 6 months then i say too young and i would hold out...some kids learn to self soothe better as they get older. i waited till DS was 6 months to do CIO but he didn't go on that long so it was a lot easier.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Posted by DPerotti

maybe he still needs you a little.

Can you try ferber? That is what I just did with Joey.

I let him cry for 5 minutes, went in did the shhhh's, patted/rubbed his back, said "Mommy is here", if he started to cry again, i waited 10 minutes then went in. . .did that same thing over & over until he went out.

Now we just put him right into bed, it worked for us. Don't get me wrong, some night he still cries a little but he knows how to get himself to sleep now.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Sometimes your baby will wake up because they aren't getting good daytime naps and they are over tired. We started paying better attention to his daytime naps and night time sleeping has gotten much better. We don't CIO at night, it was torture for us and made DS very very hoarse. The first few nights seemed promising but eventually it became a nightmare.

We have a routine, bath, book, bottle. After his bottle we hold him until he gets very very sleepy. Then we put him in his crib, he usually gets upset at this, then we'll take turns laying on his floor so he can see us while he watches his Fisher Price Soothing machine. He calms down and falls asleep. Sometimes he'll just go to sleep, other times it will take up to 20 minutes, but he isn't screaming, just kind of trying to find a comfy spot and whining a bit. He's recently gone from waking up almost every hour to waking up once or twice, so it seems to be getting better for us. Try reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, there are a lot of good pointers.

Good Luck I feel your pain.

Message edited 7/14/2010 9:42:00 PM.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Posted by katiebug

Posted by DPerotti

maybe he still needs you a little.

Can you try ferber? That is what I just did with Joey.

I let him cry for 5 minutes, went in did the shhhh's, patted/rubbed his back, said "Mommy is here", if he started to cry again, i waited 10 minutes then went in. . .did that same thing over & over until he went out.

Now we just put him right into bed, it worked for us. Don't get me wrong, some night he still cries a little but he knows how to get himself to sleep now.

I tried Ferber, but he gest so upset when I leave that I think it makes it much worse for him. In the last week I can't even leave the room during the day without him freaking out.

I just don't know where this is coming from. He was doing great for months at night, and now it is like I have a completely different child.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Posted by katiebug

Posted by DPerotti

maybe he still needs you a little.

Can you try ferber? That is what I just did with Joey.

I let him cry for 5 minutes, went in did the shhhh's, patted/rubbed his back, said "Mommy is here", if he started to cry again, i waited 10 minutes then went in. . .did that same thing over & over until he went out.

Now we just put him right into bed, it worked for us. Don't get me wrong, some night he still cries a little but he knows how to get himself to sleep now.

I tried Ferber, but he gest so upset when I leave that I think it makes it much worse for him. In the last week I can't even leave the room during the day without him freaking out.

I just don't know where this is coming from. He was doing great for months at night, and now it is like I have a completely different child.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Posted by katiebug


I nursed him to sleep, and put him down and now he has been crying for an hour. I am in tears over this. I have been getting 3 hours of broken up sleep a night. I just don't know what to do.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Posted by katiebug

Posted by Lola




It sounds like it could be the beginning of separation anxiety. I have no advice for you because DS is almost one and he stills to be nursed to sleep.

I nursed him to sleep, and put him down and now he has been crying for an hour. I am in tears over this. I have been getting 3 hours of broken up sleep a night. I just don't know what to do.

Message edited 7/14/2010 9:56:51 PM.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Posted by DPerotti

Posted by katiebug

Posted by DPerotti

maybe he still needs you a little.

Can you try ferber? That is what I just did with Joey.

I let him cry for 5 minutes, went in did the shhhh's, patted/rubbed his back, said "Mommy is here", if he started to cry again, i waited 10 minutes then went in. . .did that same thing over & over until he went out.

Now we just put him right into bed, it worked for us. Don't get me wrong, some night he still cries a little but he knows how to get himself to sleep now.

I tried Ferber, but he gest so upset when I leave that I think it makes it much worse for him. In the last week I can't even leave the room during the day without him freaking out.

I just don't know where this is coming from. He was doing great for months at night, and now it is like I have a completely different child.

Do you have a nighttime routine? Even though we did ferber, I still give him his bottle in the dark, rock a little (maybe 30 seconds) read him his book, just the two of us & then night night.

Maybe he is teething and is totally off this week. I feel like I've been blaming teething for months though, so I'm no help in that department. but if it is, maybe he just needs you b/c he's hurting a little I'm no help!

If you can't leave him during the day either it does sound like a little separation anxiety.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Posted by DPerotti

Posted by katiebug


I nursed him to sleep, and put him down and now he has been crying for an hour. I am in tears over this. I have been getting 3 hours of broken up sleep a night. I just don't know what to do.

Did you try rocking him tonight or no?

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

this is why they are so stinkin cute!!! So in times like this, we can't help but still love that little crying face!!!

Message edited 7/14/2010 10:06:06 PM.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

Posted by DPerotti

Posted by katiebug
I have a routine, that has worked great. This literally started a week ago with the not going to sleep and waking up multiple times and night and not going back down until he is in bed with us. I have pretty much the same routine as you and your DS.

I need him to sleep without me next to him, and he has now been crying for an 1 and 15 minutes. I even put him to down asleep tonight and he woke up crying.

Now I am sitting here crying because I am so tired from lack of sleep and so tired of hearing him cry.

my sister did the pick up/put down method that worked with her DS, maybe it will with your little guy.

Is DH home? Can you go take a break somewhere? DH would take over some night b/c I couldn't take it anymore and I'd go running/walking/get coffee or just go downstairs.

have you tried teething tablets or anything to see if it is that?

I'm sorry, I know it's awful to not be able to help them and hear them cry.

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

I posted the other day how my DD does not do well w/ Ferber or CIO. What seems to work and did 2nite is staying in her room. We have routine, bath, bottle - rock a litte & sing her a song or 2....put her in awake but tired and stay in her room and put her music on...2nite she did good but other nights I have to rock her......I really think he is teething....when DD teeths (she is 9.5 months now) she cries alot when she has to go to bed, can you give him some Tylenol??

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

I rocked miki to sleep

Re: What do you do when CIO does not work?

my 6 month old is similar. she was doing well for awhile, but the past 2 weeks has been crying whenever i put her down. (i went back to work 3 weeks ago, so it may be related) sometimes she will sleep for 2 hours in her crib, but never more. i either keep getting up, holding her, feeding her, etc, and just keep trying. i sleep very little those nights, but i function fairly well on little sleep. when i need to sleep, i give in and let her co-sleep. then she will sttn. i figure she will be ready eventually, but imo, she's still too young to try any real cio, and i do not believe it would work on her.