When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Gavin used to be such a great sleeper....and ever since his finger injury he has just been awful.

He's hard to put down and almost every night he's waking at 3, 4AM and CRYING....just CRYING.......
We thought it was teething, and maybe a portion of it is...but to me it's separation anxiety.....he's getting a little more attached during the day too, and on the nights that I cave and take him out of his crib he's totally fine with me rocking him and holding him.

CIO is not working at all.....this boy will cry for days and it's not fair to anyone.
I don't know any other options so I am begging for your suggestions PLEASE!!!!
This is even taking it's toll on me and DH.....we fight in the middle of the night, you know, those 'I'm too tired to even focus so I'm gonna spit nails at you' kinda fighting.....

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Hmmmmmm.....

Im a firm believer in CIO. But I'll admit that some kids will scream beyond ones breaking point....

The best advice that I can give is to be consistant and not give in. Whether it be during the day hours or the night waking ones. If they think, for even a second, that you are going to give in they'll keep at it...

If he thinks that you will come in and get him at 3, 4, or 5am then he is going to to wake up at that time until he knows differently. Some kids figure it out quickly and others are stubborn and take awhile...

If you dont want him waking up at that time you need to leave him in his crib/room...it's only going to get harder the older he gets.

Since you dont want to CIO perhaps getting comfy on his bedroom floor and holding his hand might work. Then little by little edging your way out of the room?...

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Message edited 2/25/2022 9:23:13 AM.

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Do you have anything that he can 'play' with? DS loves putting himself to sleep with soothing music. We got a crib toy with nightime music that was the BEST decision ever. In fact, we just gave my cousin one for her son.

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

How long have you let him cry for? I mean, what's the longest you've ever let him cry? I ask because Madelyn was pretty persistent when we first tried to CIO. I always gave in after 30 minutes. When we went to Mexico (she was 8 months old) and my parents stayed with her, they *thought* they were strong enough to let her CIO. Nope- they gave up after 45 minutes.

After reading Healthy Sleep Habits, we decided to just NOT go in at ALL.

She cried, yelled, fussed, or whined for 2.5 hours that first night. But she finally stopped and went to sleep. The next night she did the same, but for 1 hour. The third night it lasted less than 30 minutes. Finally, she was sleeping through the night.

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

i am a firm believer in CIO. we had to do it for 8 nights and then it finally worked and has been working for the last 6 months. you need to be consistent--as hard as it is to hear him screaming, it is for his own good. it was so hard to hear our son scream, but we knew it was for the best. he will start sleeping again. good luck to you!!

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

How old is he? DD (20mos) has been the same way past few weeks and she has always been such a good sleeper. I am against CIO (sorry I know many moms are for it and maybe it's bc I never needed to do it)
There are couple of things I started to do past 2-3 weeks :
NAP-we switched to one nap when she was around 15 mos. Normally she would take one nap around 2pm and sleep till about 4-4:30 . But since she started having "sleeping problems" I stared watching her and realized that she is tired and ready to nap around 12 or 1pm sometimes even 11:30. So I put her down and she wakes up around 3 or 3:30(some mornings if she wakes up very early than she still takes 2 naps )
NIGHTTIME- ever since she was a baby DD has always gone to sleep around 8pm , but lately she is just not tired at 8pm and will cry if I put her down , so we decided to let her stay up till 9pm and most nights she goes down without a fuss.
If it's nice out I take her for a nice walk(she walks) around the block to tire her out and relax her.
Another thing we started doing at night lately and it REALLY WORKS: I am ready to put her down I pick her up (or DH) and I say "ok now it's time to say night night to everyone" We start in the living room(where we spent most time) we say "night night" to her toys, all her favorite characters, TV,couch, and whatever else we see around . Then we say "night night" to the kitchen and the fridge,LOL. Finally we get to her bedroom, (we even say night night to our bed on the way) once again say goodnight to everything in her room and finally say good night mommy and daddy (and all the other family members we can think of ) and then I put her down, I say good night to her and all her favorite sleep toys and walk out. I know it sounds crazy and a lot to go through, but the whole thing only takes a minute and as I said it really has worked so far
Sometimes she also wakes up at night(or cries in her sleep,I think it's her eye teeth) and I still haven't found a solution for that yet, but I am trying
I know every child is very different and just bc something works for one child it may not work for another , but maybe you can try and see(if you haven't yet)
I hope he starts sleeping better soon, I know it can be so frustrating for everyone .
WOW THIS CAME OUT REALLY LONG

Message edited 5/4/2009 9:49:09 AM.

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Thanks everyone for your support and suggestions!

I am going to give them all a try......hopefully they will work in some kind of combination......I'll keep you posted.

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Can I ask a question, how long do you let him cry for?

I just ask because when we did it for the first time my ped warned me to be prepared for an hour of screaming (and possible vomitting)

Well DS cried teh first night for 1 hour and 15 minutes. DH and I were bickering the whole time about going to get him or not and neither of us wanted to be the one to undo the last 30...45..60 minutes of crying so we just left him there while I was glued to the monitor and all of the sudden he was out.

The second night was considerably less.

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

We did a modified Ferber when DS was about 11 months old, and sometimes after being sick or teething we still use it now and he is 20 months. Here is what worked for us:

The pick up and put down modified Ferber method:
You ferber, sort of, but when you go in to soothe (at whatever increments you feel necessary) you pick him up, but the SECOND he stops crying put him back down. If he starts crying before you reach the mattress, still put him down but then pick him right up until the second he stops crying, rinse and repeat. I used this to teach him to fall asleep on his own as a baby. The purpose behind this is to teach them that you will comfort them when they are crying, but will not rock/hold, etc them to sleep. This worked for us bc CIO never worked for DS, he would just get more and more and more HYSTERICAL.

The next thing I did was for nights when he just didnt feel like going to bed yet, or now bc he has separation anxiety and freaks out if I leave the room and bc hes too big to pick up and cradle/hold like a baby.........try just laying on the floor next to his crib and then every night move a little further away.
I calm him down the first time i go in and dont pick him up if hes standing I just hug him and they lay him back down as many times as it takes...and when he finally stays down, I rub his back and when he is calm is when i start the laying on the floor thing bc if I left the room hed freak out

Message edited 5/4/2009 4:17:29 PM.

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

I got a book called Good Night Sleep Tight: The Sleep Ladys Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep, Stay Asleep, and Wake Up Happy It has some other solutions to completely CIO...

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Posted by curliegirl

Posted by Kelly9904

Can I ask a question, how long do you let him cry for?

2 hours + a few nights.......hopefully it reduces QUICK!

Oh wow, thats one stubborn kid!

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

DD is one of those stubborn ones. I resorted to sleeping on the floor in her room, and inching my way out. That finally worked and now she goes down without a peep (99.9% of the time).

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!

Just bumped a CIO post for you. I was a CIO failure. I don't want to say give up like I did because it took a long time to get them out of our bed.

Re: When CIO doesn't work.......please suggest other oprions..I'm DESPERATE!