What "normally" happens in these situations?

DD just entered kindergarten and she just turned 5 last week. (Shes on the younger side). She came home from school last Wednesday with all of her Thanksgiving projects ripped up and she told me that "Zawani" ripped them, blocked her from sitting down and knocked her on the floor. OK, so I called the principal on Wednesday bc her teacher was out. He said he has zero tolerance for this and hes taking care of it. Great! So anyhow, dd gets on at my moms stop and theres only 5 stops. By process of elimination I can eliminate 3 out of 5 stops where this child is. She told me he is a 5th grader. Anyhow, the principal went on the bus yesterday and had her pick him out. Turns out his name is "Derek" and he is a troubled child in the 5th grade that needs to sit up front with the kindergarteners bc of other things he has done. I grew up in the neighborhood so I know many of the moms who say he is a troublemaker and that he has 2 younger sibs and he does this to them. OK, well not my child. What is the next step? Assume the principal handled it? Speak with the mom? This is my first experience with child bullying. Nothing seemed to happen yesterday and dd hasnt complained before wednesday. I am also uncomfortable that he is sitting with kindergarteners and still able to do all that to my dd on a bus trip home.

Re: What "normally" happens in these situations?

I would probably let it go but speak to my daughter about bullying & make sure she speaks up for herself & anyone else she sees him bother.Sometimes having a person be nice to the bully can change things for them. Having a kid think that you think they are a good kid is a game changer.

I posted a good article on bullying on this board.

Re: What "normally" happens in these situations?

I would also mention to the bus driver that you don't want him sitting near your daughter. They can put him in the front seat alone.

Tell her she did the right thing about telling you and she should report it to her teacher immediately entering school if he does anything else.

Re: What "normally" happens in these situations?

Thanks for the advice. Does the principal notify the parent in these situations? Or does the parent just find out as a group of events build?

*I wanted to add that dd said the principal made her pick out the boy and told him to appologize which she said he said "I am sorry now lets get the bus moving"...sounds like a wise ***.

Message edited 11/29/2011 10:29:16 AM.

Re: What "normally" happens in these situations?

Re: What "normally" happens in these situations?

I would call the principal and ask for an update to see if the parents were notified and how you don't want them sitting together. He will then notify busing and it will be on record.

We had a situation on the bus and when I called the school, the principal called the other parent and spoke with them about it and then brought the kids into his office to talk about it.

Re: What "normally" happens in these situations?

Sorry your DD has to deal with that!! My DD was having issues with a boy calling her potty words (I know not nearly as bad, but she was very very upset.) I spoke to the bus driver a few times about making sure he doesn't sit with her if possible. It has helped that I coach my DD to change seats if he does sit with her. She has moved on her a own a few times.

Re: What "normally" happens in these situations?

My daughter had a similar experience last year on the bus. Another kindergartener had picked her out (knowing DD was special needs), threw all the contents of her backpack (lunch included) all over the bus, ripped up all her notebooks and papers and told her she was a retard.
We sent in a note to the teacher the next day. The parents were called in to speak to the principal, the child was made to apologize to DD and DD's teacher as well as her own teacher. The bus driver was also notified and they were separated from that point on.
I wish you much luck because I know how angering this can be!!

Re: What "normally" happens in these situations?

Im sorry this happened to DD!! This would bother me emensely. I would be following up with the principal for sure.

Re: What "normally" happens in these situations?

Re: What "normally" happens in these situations?

Looks like "maybe" its a one time event. DD told me that instead he is calling her friend Matthew "Boy"...like "boy go do this" "Boy go do that"...I give up.. He sounds like he needs a little more TLC at home. Though dd said she sat with him again bc there were no seats. I am kind of uncomfortable with that knowing there was a problem. I think the teacher should make sure there is a seat for dd that doesnt include him in it.