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Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
Posted by BeachGal
I have two boys but they are not at the birthday party age yet. They are close in age so I am sure I will feel bad but I would only bring who was invited. I would get annoyed if people asked me to bring siblings to a party I was throwing especially if it was at a kiddie place and if they were a close friend siblings would be automatically invited anyway!! My husband doesn't work on the weekends but sometimes he does so I would get a babysitter if I wanted to take one of them to a party. I'm sure it is hard because the sibling not attending may cry if he can't go so maybe I would just pass all together.
This is what we do, my kids are close in age and get upset when one is going and the other is not. If I don't feel comfortable asking the parents if sibling can come, we don't go. Not worth having one kid upset TBH
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Posted 4/17/13 9:45 AM  |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
I personally do NOT like people bringing siblings. Pretty much everyone I know feels the same way.
It's annoying enough to have to pay extra for the uninvited guests (and even if you ask in advance, or offer to pay, you KNOW you're putting the host on the spot and most gracious people are not going to take the money or flat out refuse to let the sibling come)
But then on top of it, the uninvited sibling is often the wrong age for the activity/venue. So now you have this toddler who might be simply too young for whatever type of party it is, trying to "join in" and frankly just being a nuisance.
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| Posted 4/17/13 9:58 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
Posted by Faithx2
You can't always get someone to watch your other child, many parents work on the weekend. I think it's fine to bring the sibling and sit on the side lines and keep them occupied but to have them participate is extremely nervey. So many parents here bring a sibling but they stay outside the party area with the sibling-that's 100% ok to me...
What kind of parent (host) would allow that? Even if I was completely strapped and that extra $20 meant I didn't eat lunch all the next week I still couldn't let a little kid feel excluded that way - it's not the KID's fault - Again, a baby in a stroller is one thing, but a 2, 3 4, etc year old child? HOW do you say to a kid "Oh no, you can't participate in the party w/ the other kids, you have to sit in the corner w/ your Mom?"
Bottom line, asking to bring the uninvited guest, or just showing up w/ them puts the host on the spot and in an uncomfortable position and THAT is rude to do to a person. -
I don't agree/understand with people's sense of entitlement. - Just b/c you can't find someone to watch your other child(ren) doesn't mean you just bring them where they have not been invited. That is your responsibility, and if you don't have someone to stay with the other kid, you don't go to the party!
ETA: by "You" I was referring to anyone, not the OP.
Message edited 4/17/2013 10:45:28 AM.
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| Posted 4/17/13 10:42 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
we actually just got invited to a birthday party for one of my 4 year old's school friends. This is the first time its not one of our adult friend/families kids, therefore I will not be bringing my 1 year old.
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| Posted 4/17/13 10:49 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Faithx2
You can't always get someone to watch your other child, many parents work on the weekend. I think it's fine to bring the sibling and sit on the side lines and keep them occupied but to have them participate is extremely nervey. So many parents here bring a sibling but they stay outside the party area with the sibling-that's 100% ok to me...
What kind of parent (host) would allow that? Even if I was completely strapped and that extra $20 meant I didn't eat lunch all the next week I still couldn't let a little kid feel excluded that way - it's not the KID's fault - Again, a baby in a stroller is one thing, but a 2, 3 4, etc year old child? HOW do you say to a kid "Oh no, you can't participate in the party w/ the other kids, you have to sit in the corner w/ your Mom?"
Bottom line, asking to bring the uninvited guest, or just showing up w/ them puts the host on the spot and in an uncomfortable position and THAT is rude to do to a person. -
I don't agree/understand with people's sense of entitlement. - Just b/c you can't find someone to watch your other child(ren) doesn't mean you just bring them where they have not been invited. That is your responsibility, and if you don't have someone to stay with the other kid, you don't go to the party!
ETA: by "You" I was referring to anyone, not the OP.
ITA. Any gracious host will tell the child to participate. DH took 4yo DS to a party recently and a 7yo was sitting on the sidelines. DH said he felt so bad for the kid. We know the hosts and they are very generous. DH said he saw the host asking the child to participate multiple times, the mom saying no, the kid being miserable..this went back and forth until the child finally participated.
My kids are 2 years apart. There is no way either child will sit on the sidelines while the other child plays with kids at a party.
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| Posted 4/17/13 11:21 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
I think this is all regional. 6 years of bday parties, no one down here cares.
Siblings do not expect favor bags, hosts aren't hoarding slices of pizza.
It is a fun time. A child's bday party with children.
I never cared who came to my kid's party.
Up there it is different
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| Posted 4/17/13 1:04 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Faithx2
You can't always get someone to watch your other child, many parents work on the weekend. I think it's fine to bring the sibling and sit on the side lines and keep them occupied but to have them participate is extremely nervey. So many parents here bring a sibling but they stay outside the party area with the sibling-that's 100% ok to me...
What kind of parent (host) would allow that? Even if I was completely strapped and that extra $20 meant I didn't eat lunch all the next week I still couldn't let a little kid feel excluded that way - it's not the KID's fault - Again, a baby in a stroller is one thing, but a 2, 3 4, etc year old child? HOW do you say to a kid "Oh no, you can't participate in the party w/ the other kids, you have to sit in the corner w/ your Mom?"
Bottom line, asking to bring the uninvited guest, or just showing up w/ them puts the host on the spot and in an uncomfortable position and THAT is rude to do to a person. -
I don't agree/understand with people's sense of entitlement. - Just b/c you can't find someone to watch your other child(ren) doesn't mean you just bring them where they have not been invited. That is your responsibility, and if you don't have someone to stay with the other kid, you don't go to the party!
ETA: by "You" I was referring to anyone, not the OP.
I've done it and my "other" child has been fine with me. The hosts have at times been gracious and at times not but either way I've always refused. It happens sometimes you can't get childcare last minute and you've already RSVPed yes. Many parents work weekends so there is one parent home. To pay a babysitter for a party is ridiculous IMO. I am not saying the sibling should participate, I agree with you there. But plenty of parents bring a sibling and stay outside with them. Now my older one is at the age where I can drop and wait in the car so it's a non issue. I think we can all agree that expecting a host to pay for a sibling is nervey.
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| Posted 4/17/13 2:40 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
Posted by jambalady
Help me out, ladies. I am new to this whole birthday party thing.
DS is in pre-k and has recently been invited to a number of birthday parties. The first one was in their house and I knew the mom, so bringing his little sis (2 years old) was not an issue to the mom.
Now he has invitations to a gym place and the Brooklyn Children's Museum.
Does just one parent go with the child who was invited to the party and the other stay home with the other siblings?
DH often works weekends so it's either I take both of them or we can't go.
Is it rude to ask the host about younger siblings?
she would be too young to actually participate in most places. She would probably just hang out with me the whole time, and I'm more than happy to bring her snacks/juice, etc.
I'm so confused. I've never gone to something that wasn't a backyard at home party type of thing. lol.
To answer this question. Yes it's rude to ask an expect the sibling to participate. However I think it's ok to bring the sibling if you have no childcare and sit outside the party room and keep them occupied with your own snacks etc. All of the moms here with siblings do it.
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| Posted 4/17/13 3:10 PM |
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Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
Name:
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
Posted by Janice
I think this is all regional. 6 years of bday parties, no one down here cares.
Siblings do not expect favor bags, hosts aren't hoarding slices of pizza.
It is a fun time. A child's bday party with children.
I never cared who came to my kid's party.
Up there it is different
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| Posted 4/17/13 4:18 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
I have brought DS to parties a couple times and paid for him and lots of parents have brought siblings to DD's parties and either pay for them or sit in the sidelines. I really don't have a problem with it and if it is either that or not coming to my DD's party I rather them show up with siblings as my DD would be devastated if her friends didn't come.
It is different if a parent does it every time but everyone gets into a bind sometimes and it's unfair to everyone to be so inflexible.
If a party is during the week then most parents should expect siblings or no partygoers.
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| Posted 4/17/13 4:30 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
The other option is to drop your child off and do something else with the other kid during that time.
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| Posted 4/17/13 6:54 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
I don't think there is one answer for this question. I find that the way people feel about this issue varies dramatically. When I have parties, I always invite the siblings of close friends and family on the invitation. For others, I let them know informally that if they need to bring siblings they are more than welcome to. I find that this limits it somewhat. I was always in the more the merrier camp but, I'm not going to lie...it adds up! And, for the posters that said it's a regional thing - I don't think it's about "hoarding pizza" - I think it's about the fact that additional guests can be anywhere from $15-$25 per person at many of these places and if you invite 20 kids and each one of them brings along even one sibling (that doesn't know your child at all) it really really adds $$$$. That said, again, I empathize since I have a younger one myself and always do extend the invitation.
In your situation, I would rsvp that you cannot attend because you have no one to watch your other child. That puts the ball in the hosts court in a none pressure way IMO - the host can say bring along or say nothing. I would NOT just show up with the child or directly ask if the child could come because some people might get offended by this (again, I personally wouldn't).
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| Posted 4/17/13 7:15 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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What's the etiquette for birthday parties and siblings?
But this is in a museum. A public place. Don't give it a thought". Don't expect cake for younger one, pay his way
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| Posted 4/17/13 10:07 PM |
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