When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working? UPDATE #1

Updated 7/19

So, last night we decided to feed Sasha when she first woke up-- she woke a little around 10 30, but went back to sleep on her own--more of a sleep cry.

She got a bottle at 3:00 of BM, then woke up at 5:30, and I went to get her out of the crib for another feeding at 6.

End result, I am better rested since I didn't get up to feed her, but she didn't sleep 12 hours-- we put her down about 15 to 20 mins later since my DH wanted to try that. She just napped for 40 mins, and seems energized.

Let's see how the rest of the week goes. But I think I am going to try this for the week, and stop sleep training altogether for now. If she returns to getting up just once again, I'll be happy.

I spoke to DH last night and of course he had NO IDEA how much I was getting out of bed with her. Amazing how they sleep through it all-- the crying, and me getting in and out of bed constantly.

I won't rush in when she cries-- but rather wait a few mins just to see if she goes back to sleep on her own. The "come in/feed me" cries, are definitely different then-- "I am up, but will go back to sleep" cries.





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It's been a couple weeks now. We reset when we got home and weaned off the swaddle but not much has changed.

We are doing Ferber, and are up to 15 to 20 min waiting periods, and I really do not want to do CIO extinction.

What do I do now?

eta-- our problem is not going to sleep-- but wakings in the middle of the night.

Message edited 7/19/2009 8:48:44 AM.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

i am sorry, i am no help, but can i ask why you don't want to do CIO?

i only ask because it seems like you have tried a lot of other different things that are not working, or working as well as you want.

since i never used any method other than CIO i can't tell you how long is too long, but i can tell you that CIO worked in 3 days with DS.

i hope someone on here has good advice for you!

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

How many times a night is she waking?

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

No advice , just
My DD still wakes 2-3x at night at 6 months old...

My DS started SSTN at 4 months, then regressed about 6 months, then SSTN again, then regressed again....This went on and on...I just think some babies are better sleepers than others We didnt use any methods so I have no advice on that...It won't last forvever though

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

thx everyone

she is waking like 4 to 5 times a night, with one of them being the time when I feed her.

she is a terrible napper and I swear the kid is tired alllllllllll day. She is yawning constant;y.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Can you post a rough schedule for us? I'm a big fan of the sleep begets sleep theory. If she doesn't nap during the day, she'll definitely wake more at night.

To answer your question, we decided when my son threw up multiple times in one night from crying so hard. We cleaned him up & tried again. In my opinion, the earlier you get them in their own cribs, the faster it is. The older they get, the longer it is.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

If you have been doing it a couple of weeks, I would figure at this point it's not working...

I would think CIO is really your next option....sorry

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Message edited 7/18/2009 7:21:39 AM.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

I'm confused - are you saying that she is sleeping from say 6:30 until 4 in the morning when you feed her -- to wake up a few times in between just to be soothed?

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

I know this wasn't your question, but I think you may be putting her to bed for the night too early...I understand that she is definitely tired at that time but maybe you could make that sort of a nap and then purposely wake her at 10:30 for a feeding. We've been doing this with DD for months now and she usually sleeps from 11:00 to 8:00. Just an idea.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Posted by laurabora

I know this wasn't your question, but I think you may be putting her to bed for the night too early...I understand that she is definitely tired at that time but maybe you could make that sort of a nap and then purposely wake her at 10:30 for a feeding. We've been doing this with DD for months now and she usually sleeps from 11:00 to 8:00. Just an idea.

Message edited 7/18/2009 8:20:01 AM.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

How much does she eat during the day and how often?
One of the keys to getting Lily to sleep through the night was making sure she had enough to eat during the day so she wouldn't wake up hungry.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Is it possible that she is initially waking because she is hungry? Perhaps try feeding her at that first waking, but then don't feed her until 5/6am.

BTW- my 8 month old is still not STTN. She goes down at 7 with no issues, wakes at around 11pm to nurse, then is usually down until about 5 or 6. She nurses, then she'll sleep til about 8.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

How old is your DD, I didn't see that posted anywhere?

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Posted by laurabora

I know this wasn't your question, but I think you may be putting her to bed for the night too early...I understand that she is definitely tired at that time but maybe you could make that sort of a nap and then purposely wake her at 10:30 for a feeding. We've been doing this with DD for months now and she usually sleeps from 11:00 to 8:00. Just an idea.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

This sounds very similar to what went on with us. I suggest trying to stretch her out longer between naps and try getting her to nap longer and less frequently. She seems like she is continuing this "cat napping" during the night.

I really feel some babies developmentally take longer to STTN. Sydnie is 10 months and STTN maybe once a week. The rest of the time she goes down around 7 and wakes b/w 3 and 5 for a bottle and is up for the day somewhere b/w 7-8.

We're not on an exact schedule. That never worked for us. But as she got older she got herself on more of a schedule. We are down to (2) 1.5-2 hour naps a day and a 7 am-7 pm schedule.

I woudl strecth daytime waking sessions, feed her a LOT around dinnertime, feed her in the middle of thenight at an earlier time (say 1 a.m.), and then let her fuss/cry at her wakings after that. So you can let her cry/fuss while you know she was just fed and doesn't NEED to eat.

Good luck. It's so tough

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

DS was VERY similar

When we got the initial bedtime down OK where he would fall asleep on his own,the we worked on the night wakings (2-4 every night for like 4 months it went on between the age of 5 months till about 9 1/2 months ).

DS stopped eating in during the night & was STTN at 10 weeks. By 5 months he regressed.

To fix the middle of the night wakings, we would sooth but not pick him up.....no matter how long it took....5 minutes to sometimes an hour ....but eventually what this did was get him used to us NOT picking him up. The times shorten over the course of a few weeks......and all of sudden VIOLA!! He got it! He would stir....find a binky or get comfy again & back to sleep!!!

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Ok-- to answer a few questions...

She is 5.5 months old. My Ped told me at 4 months, that she should not be eating in the middle of the night and needs to learn that nighttime is for sleeping.

She wakes up several times, but then I just figure that by the 4/5am wakeup she needs to eat-- so, that is when I feed her, until she can make the 12 or so hour stretch. I go in, and soothe her-- rub her, give her her paci, shush, etc. I do not pick her up.

I EBF, and I feed her on demand throughout the day. Even if I fed her like 45mins to an hour before bedtime, I always feed her again as just part of the bedtime routine.

I have been really working on naps and trying to get her to sleep longer. She is definitely better than she was before I started working on it-- but, I can't keep her up longer because she is miserable. And then it's a nightmare to get her to go down. We actually just had a photographer here and it went terribly because she was yawning and tired the whole time-- after only being up an hour. I kept her up longer because I had to-- and she was so mis the whole time. A waste of money.

We have no daytime schedule-- she sets it for the day when she wakes up, and how long each nap is (meaning what time she wakes up) determines when she goes down for the next one. The only time that is "scheduled" is bedtime.

The thing is she used to wake up ONCE-- which if she still did that- I wouldn't probably even sleep train. Then it became twice-- and now it's 4 or 5 times. I know something has to give and she is not hungry every time. She can soothe herself, but not always-- and she always wakes up happy-- no matter how many times she wakes up, and with the sleep training, etc.

Message edited 7/18/2009 10:39:43 AM.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Is she gaining weight good and does she have the diapers?

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?

It is probably teething. My DD did this exact same thing at 5 1/2 months. I called up her pediatrician one day beside myself I was so tired and felt dejected. That night, boom she slept thru the night! She got her bottom teeth.

Can you try giving her Tylenol one night and see if there is a difference in the wakings?

ETA: My DD was the SAME way with the naps. She went down every 1-2 hours and would sleep only 30 min. Gradually they increased and currently she has been asleep for 1 1/2 hours, it takes time though!! You will see a def. difference between 6-7 months!

I think you are doing the right thing by looking at her cues and putting her down when she is tired. It doesn't really work for us to keep DD up to stretch out her nap times, she is much harder to put down then!

Message edited 7/18/2009 11:01:26 AM.

Re: When do you decide that your method of sleep training is not working?