Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

I used to say that I would never, ever do such a thing because I want be absolutely certain that my child makes his own choices. I would be concerned that any so-called encouragement from me would be tantamount to pushing him.

I used to think that a lot of people who went into their parents' businesses had a sense of entitlement, did not understand the value of building something for themselves and they often ran the business to the ground. That's a stereotype but I am admitting that I held that view.

I have a friend who absolutely expects her children to continue on with the law practice she opened. Sometimes I want to tell her that it's not like she has built an empire. I am sure that her kids would do just fine with their own choices, and they may find something that is a lot better in more ways than one. I'm not sure if I like the guilt trip of "I'm building this for you."

In thinking about what my friend wants to do, I realized that even though I do not agree with all of her views, she can pave the way for her kids to go into her business and have a great life. If they want to take over, perhaps there is nothing wrong with that?

I know that my child will have a choice but it is only recently that I have thought that I might ask my child to think about going into my line of work. I will never go as far as to say that I expect it of him.

I haven't yet asked my husband if he would want D. to go into his line of work but that is because my husband's line of work is likely to be very different in 20 years or so!

As always, if the responses get heated for any reason, I'm contacting you-know-who (insert photo of Ron in bikini here)! I thought that this could be a new question for all of us to consider and discuss.

Oh, FYI, personally, my answer to this question would not be any different if my child was a girl but I do understand that some people might feel differently depending on the sex of their child.

Edited to try to clarify question

Message edited 5/15/2009 1:12:59 AM.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business or into your profession?

I want DD to make her own choices and will support her whichever way she goes.

We have a family business that is growing. At best I see it as an asset to help further our children and what they want rather than their future.

I've read that the job most people ultimately get doesn't even exist when they enter kindergarten. This was accurate for DH and I, and for 3 out of 4 of our parents as well. I can only imagine what DD will do, although the way she is constantly singing I have a feeling we may have a performer of some sort here.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

My DH runs the family business and it is was he wanted to do. He went to Maritime for it and it worked out well when he was just a worker because he went right in after college but now forget it.
Once it was time for him to take over, it has been nothing but struggle. He def did not have the business handed to him. He had to pay off debts, deal with his father on and on!!! And now it is the first time in a long time that is has not been in debt and he has been able to keep all his workers working. My DH is really working hard to keep the business going and knows this is our future.

If our children want to go into it great, if not that is great too. I rather them not so we can sell it and get the money

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

I have my own business. Granted it's not an empire. I would like my DD to be involved in some way when she gets older- everything in life can be made into a learning experience.

I think people who have struggled to build something, that has been a success for them, have a hard time seeing it go into others' hands, or being sold just for the money. To see something you've worked hard your whole life for be taken for granted would be very difficult.

I would never force my DD to do anything she doesn't want to do. But if I still have my business when she is older, I certainly would love to see her take it over from me.

Message edited 5/15/2009 7:09:44 AM.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

my parents own their own business- its a garden center. They started it from basically nothing, and now have 17 greenhouses full of stuff, and make 6 figures. it seems like a good deal, but its so stressful with them growing everything themselves and worrying about if all the seeds will actually grow so they can sell the plants, and finding GOOD people to work for them, since its only seasonal. PLUS how physical it is taking care of all those flowers! They're retiring after this season, and my dad said a few times " it'll be a shame to just walk away from it and not have somebody take it over"... but they never pushed my sister or I to take it over--- they wanted us to do our own thing, and now we both have great jobs as teachers, that we like.
My job now is a speech therapist in a school, and i would definitely encourage my kid to go into it. I have the school schedule and all the "perks" of being a school employee, BUT i don't have to deal with a whole classroom full of kids, PLUS it a specialized thing thats really in demand and has a lot of job openings--- i know its hard to get a job as a general ed teacher right now. if my kid seems interested in education, i'll definitely encourage them to look into my feild.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

No I wouldn't.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

We will def. guide him along the way to choose a good career but by no means does it have to be one that DH or I am in.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

We will let DD figure out what she wants to do on her own. But I would not discourage her from entering mine or my husband's profession. I'm an accountant and he is an educator, IMO both are pretty good fields to be in.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

No. I don't have a business, but I would not encourage her to go into my profession. (I'm a lawyer.) If she came to me and expressed interest, I would have a very honest conversation about the profession, pros and cons, and my experience. I wouldn't encourage her one way or the other.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

I will give my children a choice but I have to admit I hope at least one decides to go into the family business. You need a college degree and professional license so it's not like it will be handed to them. They have to work for it. I was not pushed into it my dad just suggested it and I will do the same for my kids.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

I see nothing wrong with using your successful family business to learn the "lesson of life". I think parents can use it to be a teaching tool.

But yes, working at mom and pop's does not really tell you how to interview for a job and the disappointment of not getting it.

They are plenty of people who are very happy with taking over their relatives' business and others who feel trapped and obligated to do so.

Not to overly generalize but I find those "mental obligations" to be on the higher education end. Doctors, lawyers, etc. I know a few lawyers so I am not going to say it's all lawyers. BUT "some" cannot imagine a child having a lesser education as it could reflex on THEM badly. As if their kid cannot be a mechanic without bringing shame to their family name.

I find that the pressure is too much for those children. The sense of guilt if they don't take over the business. Of the sense of being a failure.

I will let DS decide what he wants to do or can do. I hope I can offer him guidance and my experience to make sure he is not midguided. But I feel someone happy is 10 times better off than resentful all their life for doing something they hate.

EVERYBODY should be allowed to have their OWN dreams and aspirations.

Message edited 5/15/2009 8:54:44 AM.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

i would have been thrilled if someone "gave" me a good job that i didn't have to work so hard to get. when i was younger i remember looking at my parents jobs completely on my own without any input from them- thinking hmm neither one sounds really great to me but i guess my dads is better so that is what i will do. i sort of thoguht you had to do what your paretns did. granted i was very young. i also though ti had to marry one of their friends children. i choose the one i thought was best. again no one ever said these things to me. not sure why i even thought it!

as it turned out i neither married anyone my parents knew or went into business with or for or even in the same industry as either of them.

if i could make life easier for my children i would but i would never hold strings or rewards attached to my children doing anything i "expected" of them. part of life is making your own choices and for some people its a choice to go into a family business. i will support any decisions my children make b/c its their lives.

i think there are a lot of good interesting jobs that i was unaware of while i was in school and i would encourage my children to think abotu the type of job they want and the life style they want when choosing a career. i didn't really have much career guidance. i would like to encourage my children to think outside of the box and if anything my husband or i do career wise inspires them great and if not that is great too.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

DH is a software engineer. He jokes that JAZ is going to be coding by age 5. He is also a drummer and plans on buying the boy his own kit when we move. Personally if wants to be a golf caddy I would support him. As long as the boy is happy and its not illegal I will support WHATEVER he wants to do. DH's dad make couture hats for a living, he asked DH when he was younger if he wanted to be in the business when he was older. DH said, No they are ugly. FIL left it at that. The most DH does for the business is maintain his website. Whatever makes them happy will make me happy.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

Frankly, I think one lawyer in the family is one more than you need , but if DD showed an interest I wouldn't discourage her. I sincerely hope however that the ability to encourage everything she shows an interest in, without being overbearing, is something I am able to do throughout her entire life.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

I don't know what I do.. so I don't think I could encourage my kid to do it too!

Honestly? I have told my children that they can do whatever makes them happy. I have told them that I will support them for as long as I possibly can while they find their bliss. I believe that once they find what makes their soul sing.. they will find a way to support themselves doing it.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

I would encourage them to do whatever it is that they want to & still support themselves. I know DH does not want either of his children to go into his profession as he sees benefits continually eroding.

I've seen a lot of people handed family business & drive it into the ground - DH & I refer to it as the "Scrappy Doo or Oliver effect" - when you introduce a young cast member to revive a show & the show goes south - I know there is an official name for it but don't know what it's called.

I don't think it's helpful for a kid to know at an early age that they are going into the family business. In my experience with friends, it was a demotivator. The kids slacked off, never strived for more, never continued their education, and did not know business outside of their parent's company. Every business owner makes mistakes & could grow. If a parent makes their life a continuing educational experience to grow his business, then it impacts their children differently. I also know a few kids that busted their tush at school to prove to their parents they were capable of running a business.

Maddie wants to be just like me but she has too good of a heart to have to make the more difficult decisions & deliver the bad news like I have to. Joseph has some interesting career choices, so I look forward to see what he does wind up doing. I don't see how this week's career choice will allow him to support himself.

Message edited 5/15/2009 10:03:01 AM.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

I own my own company which is rapidly expanding, who knows where it will be in the next 10+ years. If my children show an interest and want to help out and earn a little spending money then sure, great. I think its important to instill good work ethics at a young age.

But, at the same time I will encourage my children to go to college and pursue what they love and if what I do happens to be their passion then I will help them in any way I can.

I want to say my parents pushed me towards a medical career and while I loved it and excelled at it and am still sad I am not a part of that community anymore; I am much happier and at peace with what I am doing now!

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

I want my son to do whatever would make him happy, as long as he can support himself and have decent health insurance.

I expect that both my DH and I will explain what we do and tell him the pros and cons of our jobs, but I don't know that either of us would push for him to follow in our footsteps. My job is one that will always be somewhat in demand, as the number of people going into it has been on the decline.

I do think that we would both encourage him to go to college, since I think a higher education is valuable, both for the sake of learning and because it would give him more options professionally. However, if he decided to go into a trade, I would be fine with it. I work with contractors and many of them make a lot more money than either my DH or I do!

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

DH wants DS to be a surgeon, just like him.

I am not going to push medicine on DS. I'll see what DS is interested in and take it from there.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

Not at all. If he was interested in our line of work, I would encourage him, but if he wants to do something else, that's fine too. We don't own a business, but I think I would feel the same if he did not want to run our business either.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

Message edited 11/28/2011 9:28:55 PM.

Re: Would you encourage your child to go into the family business and/or into your profession or your spouse's profession?

Whatever their big hearts desire....
Unless of course it was swinging from a pole, that's a career I'd be livid over!