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Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
I'm not talking a fresh teenager (even then I cringe a little - I think there is something very cold about the words "shut up")
Tonight Cai and I were having our mommy-Cailen date (DH comes home late on Mondays now) and there was a family eating at the next table over - with a little girl, maybe 3, and a boy about 18 mts...
The girl was being a typical rambunctious 3 year old, and was making some noise - I think she may have whined loudly in her mom's ear, and her mom turned to her and said "shut up!"
Now, I know there are worse things a parent could say, but I think saying that to a young child is just not nice.
What do you think?
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Posted 9/14/09 7:59 PM  |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
I would never say that to my DD who is 3. like you said...a nasty teen is a different story.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:04 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
in a overwhelming frustrated moment, yes I have told my son to shut up... Not sure if I did it when he was really young, but it always made me upset that I let my frustrations get the best of me.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:04 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
I can recall screaming STFU at the top of my lungs when one of mine was a tiny baby and refusing to sleep. I did it outside her room and it felt GOOD.
I've told Maddie to shut up in my head ALOT lately. It's a matter of time before it sneaks out my mouth I think as she's LOVING using her outside voice during naptime to wake the baby......
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:08 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
Posted by Porrruss
I can recall screaming STFU at the top of my lungs when one of mine was a tiny baby and refusing to sleep. I did it outside her room and it felt GOOD.
I've told Maddie to shut up in my head ALOT lately. It's a matter of time before it sneaks out my mouth I think as she's LOVING using her outside voice during naptime to wake the baby......
I have done the same... no one's perfect and sometimes enough gets to be enough. I'm sure my mom told me to shut up way before 3. I love my mom BTW. LOL.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:14 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
I think you can't judge people in these types of situations! While we all like to think we would never do/say these things, we really can't say until we are in that persons shoes. Who knows what she dealt with before getting to that point.
Now, having a child of my own, I can really see the frustrations that a mom has on a day to day basis.
Message edited 9/14/2009 8:16:53 PM.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:16 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
If I was extremely frustrated, yes. I'm not proud of it & work hard on not saying it but but those words have definitely left my mouth.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:17 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
Posted by Diana1215
I think you can't judge people in these types of situations! While we all like to think we would never do/say these things, we really can't say until we are in that persons shoes. Who knows what she dealt with before getting to that point.
Now, having a child of my own, I can really see the frustrations that a mom has on a day to day basis.
I agree...
You don't know what led them to that restaurant that night, or what type of day they were having...
Maybe it was totally typical or maybe she has never uttered those words before in her life.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:18 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
I wouldn't be happy or proud to do it, but I can see how you can be driven to say it.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:19 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
I have. DS is a CONSTANT whiner. All Well, he is mostly good all day but he has that good 1 hour per day of whining. It does wear on your patience.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:19 PM |
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
Posted by Diana1215
I think you can't judge people in these types of situations! While we all like to think we would never do/say these things, we really can't say until we are in that persons shoes. Who knows what she dealt with before getting to that point.
Now, having a child of my own, I can really see the frustrations that a mom has on a day to day basis.
I agree. I actually totally agree and definitely was thinking the girl should shut up too. 
And when Cailen was a newborn infant, my car, as usual, wouldn't start, and he started screaming in the back. I was frustrated, and did also scream STFU. And he actually was startled and he stopped crying for a minute. And it did feel good, but it made me realize how quickly anger can overwhelm me.
I mentioned this in the other post, and I personally feel as a parent, the most important part of the job is to keep anger in check. Reacting in anger can always lead to things we can regret. It is ok to show anger when a child is doing something wrong, but not to act in anger. At least to me. If that makes sense. I will admit, it felt like a cold splash of water the way the mom said it. Not to judge her, but I just could never say that again to my child...
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:21 PM |
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by Diana1215
I think you can't judge people in these types of situations! While we all like to think we would never do/say these things, we really can't say until we are in that persons shoes. Who knows what she dealt with before getting to that point.
Now, having a child of my own, I can really see the frustrations that a mom has on a day to day basis.
I agree...
You don't know what led them to that restaurant that night, or what type of day they were having...
Maybe it was totally typical or maybe she has never uttered those words before in her life.
Yes, you are right. The couple happened to be arguing a little, so it was a little tense. Again, and this is just me, I always feel that the child needs to be honored even in those situations and shouldn't catch any shrapnel.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:22 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by Diana1215
I think you can't judge people in these types of situations! While we all like to think we would never do/say these things, we really can't say until we are in that persons shoes. Who knows what she dealt with before getting to that point.
Now, having a child of my own, I can really see the frustrations that a mom has on a day to day basis.
I agree. I actually totally agree and definitely was thinking the girl should shut up too.
And when Cailen was a newborn infant, my car, as usual, wouldn't start, and he started screaming in the back. I was frustrated, and did also scream STFU. And he actually was startled and he stopped crying for a minute. And it did feel good, but it made me realize how quickly anger can overwhelm me.
I mentioned this in the other post, and I personally feel as a parent, the most important part of the job is to keep anger in check. Reacting in anger can always lead to things we can regret. It is ok to show anger when a child is doing something wrong, but not to act in anger. At least to me. If that makes sense. I will admit, it felt like a cold splash of water the way the mom said it. Not to judge her, but I just could never say that again to my child...
This is going to sound so stupid - but I'll write it anyway -- DH and I (mostly I) have been watching Supernanny and I see how these parents are to their children (and I don't blame them one bit because I would be hitting the bottle if some of these kids were my own) but the way they scream at the kids - and the kids scream back on the top of their lungs.
I am a yeller - it's just my nature - and in turn I noticed that Jack started yelling back at me. After watching a few episodes I realized that I am teaching him to be this way with my behavior. I have since tried to talk things out (as much as I can with a two year old) and try not to get as crazy. And, shockingly enough, he's been reacting so much better. At this age they really do feed off of what we do. I try to be very stern, but I don't yell anymore (or try not to  )
I have also learned how positive reinforcement works wonders. In Jack's speech group today they said to praise them even when they are doing something simple like sitting nicely and eating their snack.
I am really trying to learn whatever I can because we had a few rough days over the summer, and if I have to deal with that and a newborn, I will truly lose my mind!
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:27 PM |
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bonitachyc
big sister status may 2012!!
Member since 5/08 3242 total posts
Name:
Lupe
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
i would...it wouldn't mean that i love her any less, it's just a way for me to voice out my frustrations. it's not the end of the world. but then again what do i know my little one is 8 months old
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:31 PM |
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DeniseMarie
<3
Member since 8/07 10682 total posts
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
I treat and talk to her the same way she should talk to me. Its all about setting an example. So - no - i would never
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:32 PM |
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Goobster
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Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
Posted by bonitachyc
i would...it wouldn't mean that i love her any less, it's just a way for me to voice out my frustrations. it's not the end of the world. but then again what do i know my little one is 8 months old
I have said it too, well knowing my infant would not understand. Not proud of it, but some times you feel like the noise is going to crack you and you just have to let it out.
I do hope I never say it to my older child who can understand. 
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:37 PM |
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jaysee00
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1647 total posts
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
I am not one to judge because everyone handles things differently. I don't PLAN to ever say something like that. As a teacher I am always choosing my words carefully. I'd probably say something like you need to be quiet now. One time I was in Target and this little girl kept saying something over and over to her mom. I think she was asking the same question while the mom was busy.
She looked up at her daughter and with a very nasty voice, told her to shut up. The girl was probably about 3. Something about the way she said it made me feel horrible. It actually brought tears to my eyes.
Then again I don't know her so who knows? But it made me feel so sad just the same.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:38 PM |
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avamamma
My Girl
Member since 7/06 3395 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
It sounds like a disgusting, horrible, damaging thing to say to a little child.... but, I have said things that I never could have imagined I would ever say.
Parenting is hard, and sometimes you can feel overwhelmed. Not an excuse... but saying the wrong thing can happen.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:51 PM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
I've said it. Sometimes it is at the point where you just can't take the crying and whining anymore. I've said "Oh my god Chelsea shut up!" I didn't scream it at her, I was more whining at her.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:56 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
Posted by nrthshgrl
If I was extremely frustrated, yes. I'm not proud of it & work hard on not saying it but but those words have definitely left my mouth.
Ditto for me. It's not something I am proud of, but it's taught me that I need to be more careful and to learn to let it go.
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| Posted 9/14/09 8:58 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
No, I wouldn't. It's nasty and inappropriate. Also, being a teacher, I'm pretty good at using other terms when I *want* to say something like that.
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| Posted 9/14/09 9:02 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
I really don't think those words would ever come out of my mouth, directed at my child. I'd dare say even when she's a teenager. I'd have plenty of other ways to show her I was angry/frustrated...I just don't like the term.
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| Posted 9/14/09 9:09 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
At this point (DS just turned 2) no I haven't. But, as another poster said I have thought it in my head a few times for sure! But, that said, I agree with the other posters that said that I wouldn't judge someone that did (not that you were just saying I wouldn't). While I hope I would never get to this point - sometimes, life with a toddler is not easy and you never know what else is going on with her - parents are only human after all - we all make mistakes and have our breaking points!
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| Posted 9/14/09 9:12 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
i say it in my head all the time! he just goes on and on...i don't think i have said it out loud though...but i have learned never say never.
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| Posted 9/14/09 9:14 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
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Re: Would you ever tell your young child to "shut up"?
Posted by Janice
i say it in my head all the time! he just goes on and on...i don't think i have said it out loud though...but i have learned never say never.
I've said it in my head so many times. And I hate myself for it for a different reason than other people have stated-- my 3 yr old DS had a significant speech delay and had a lot of speech therapy. Well the therapy certainly worked, because now he never stops talking, lol! And sometimes when I FEEL like yelling "Please just shut UP!", I often think back to the days when I was worried if he would ever speak. So that does put things in perspective.
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| Posted 9/14/09 9:50 PM |
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