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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
DH will be getting a new job this year. We are thinking about work/life balance.
DH could work longer hours (work until 9-10pm occasionally and weekends) and make a lot of money. We could afford a better home, he could get me all the help I need, etc.
Or DH could get great hours (be home by 5-6pm), sometimes maybe even earlier but then we wouldn't be able to afford as nice of a home and couldn't afford extra help. DH would be the extra help.
Would you rather have a DH who worked long hours and make more $$$ or work really good hours and make less?
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Posted 3/8/11 1:22 PM  |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
We decided to have a child together, because DH wanted to be a father. It would kill him to be away from DS that much.
My dad worked that many hours, and I never knew him growing up.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:25 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Good hours and made less ( within reason of-course), at least while the DC's are young.
That song "Cats In The Cradle" is something I always think of...Life is so short and little ones don't stay little for long and you cannot get time back ..Just my own personal feelings 
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:25 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
hate to sound like a b!tch but only you can answer that..
Would he really be helping you when he got home? or is he more the type that he would just sit around and perhaps wait for direction or even cause you more work? I am being totally honest here lol
also, do you know for certain that those hours will always be that exact same set schedule?
These are things I'd be thinking about and taking into consideration..
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:26 PM |
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OrganicMama
So in love with my little man!
Member since 6/08 5172 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Without a doubt have awesome hours and make less.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:26 PM |
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NoStressMom
My Heart and Soul
Member since 5/05 11122 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
For us its the time we have with DD I wouldn't trade it for any money in the world!! She is growing up so fast and I loved being able to spend this time with her as a family!!!
Message edited 3/8/2011 2:14:45 PM.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:27 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by bicosi
hate to sound like a b!tch but only you can answer that..
Would he really be helping you when he got home? or is he more the type that he would just sit around and perhaps wait for direction or even cause you more work? I am being totally honest here lol
also, do you know for certain that those hours will always be that exact same set schedule?
These are things I'd be thinking about and taking into consideration..
and do you like your DH and want to see him?  I kid, but for me that's really what it boils down to. I would only choose the more $$$ if I wasn't too fond of DH.
Message edited 3/8/2011 1:28:10 PM.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:27 PM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Well currently my DS works really LOOOONG hours including sat-sun and makes sh!t money I kid but it allows me to stay home and that's a great gift.
Hands down, if there were a choice, I'd take fewer hours, more time for DH with the kids. No question about it.
Having a "nicer house" is not even a consideration for me if DH is not around to enjoy it. I'd rather have a less impressive place, but a child(ren) who really get to know their Dad, not just seeing him an hour before bedtime and a bit on the weekends.
If the only advantage were a "better home" (whether that means bigger, nicer, or better neighborhood, whatever) - that's just not compelling enough for me to sacrifice my DH to his job.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:28 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by bicosi
hate to sound like a b!tch but only you can answer that..
Would he really be helping you when he got home? or is he more the type that he would just sit around and perhaps wait for direction or even cause you more work? I am being totally honest here lol
also, do you know for certain that those hours will always be that exact same set schedule?
These are things I'd be thinking about and taking into consideration..
I agree with this.
but I will say that for us, for my family, having dh be a big part of his life is so important to us. sure it means that 1) I don't stay home and 2) that we don't have boatoads of cash but
we have a nice home (2 actually) things that we love, and the ability to vacation, send him to school whatever. and we get time together every day, whether in the morning or at night.
these are more important TO US than have 50 or even 100k more. we can afford the things we need and a few things we don't...and that is what overall makes our family work.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:30 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
More money. Would he really be leaving work at 5:00 pm? I don't know any jobs like that.
Message edited 3/8/2011 8:56:18 PM.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:30 PM |
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nadia
My two Girls=)
Member since 7/07 1421 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by NoStressBride
For us its the time we have with DD I wouldn't trade it for any money in the world!! She is growing up so fast and I loved be able to spend this time with her as a family!!!
I totally agree with this. We both have great hours and just live within our means.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:31 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by bicosi
hate to sound like a b!tch but only you can answer that..
Would he really be helping you when he got home? or is he more the type that he would just sit around and perhaps wait for direction or even cause you more work? I am being totally honest here lol
also, do you know for certain that those hours will always be that exact same set schedule?
These are things I'd be thinking about and taking into consideration..
and do you like your DH and want to see him? I kid, but for me that's really what it boils down to. I would only choose the more $$$ if I wasn't too fond of DH.
eh, I'm divorced actually!
But that's not why I'm saying that when I was married, I had both scenarios (him being home and not home) and when he was home, I can't say that he ever really contributed as much as I thought he would being that he was home.. it was more work on me at times..Being totally honest.. I know not all husbands are like that but I don't know her or her DH so I thought it'd be something she or anyone else with a similar scendario should think about.
Message edited 3/8/2011 1:34:15 PM.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:31 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by Kate
More money. Would he really be leaving work at 5:00 pm? I don't know any jobs like that. T
FWIW, my DH is home before 5pm just about every day (yesterday it was 2pm) ...He sometimes is out the door at 5-6am, so I guess thats where he makes up his hours...
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:33 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by OrganicMama
Without a doubt have awesome hours and make less.
Me too. DH really pitches in and I would miss him and his help more than the $$
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:34 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by bicosi
hate to sound like a b!tch but only you can answer that..
Would he really be helping you when he got home? or is he more the type that he would just sit around and perhaps wait for direction or even cause you more work? I am being totally honest here lol
also, do you know for certain that those hours will always be that exact same set schedule?
These are things I'd be thinking about and taking into consideration..
DH actually is a lot more domestic than I am. He does significantly more housework than I do. I think it also has to do with the fact that I have a higher tolerance to messiness than he does. He can't stand if things are messy so he'll walk in and start picking up toys.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:34 PM |
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organichic
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 2223 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by OrganicMama
Without a doubt have awesome hours and make less.
same.. but, everyone's different. I love our family time together. It just doesn't seem the same when he is at work.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:35 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by bicosi
hate to sound like a b!tch but only you can answer that..
Would he really be helping you when he got home? or is he more the type that he would just sit around and perhaps wait for direction or even cause you more work? I am being totally honest here lol
also, do you know for certain that those hours will always be that exact same set schedule?
These are things I'd be thinking about and taking into consideration..
DH actually is a lot more domestic than I am. He does significantly more housework than I do. I think it also has to do with the fact that I have a higher tolerance to messiness than he does. He can't stand if things are messy so he'll walk in and start picking up toys.
Well then you have your answer my dear!
Would his hours be set at that time or would it be subject to change at any time?
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:35 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by colette
Well currently my DS works really LOOOONG hours including sat-sun and makes sh!t money I kid but it allows me to stay home and that's a great gift.
Hands down, if there were a choice, I'd take fewer hours, more time for DH with the kids. No question about it.
Having a "nicer house" is not even a consideration for me if DH is not around to enjoy it. I'd rather have a less impressive place, but a child(ren) who really get to know their Dad, not just seeing him an hour before bedtime and a bit on the weekends.
If the only advantage were a "better home" (whether that means bigger, nicer, or better neighborhood, whatever) - that's just not compelling enough for me to sacrifice my DH to his job.
DH is a lot more focused on the home than I am. DH spent a long time in med school, residency and fellowship making no or very little money. I think it bothers him greatly that we do not yet have a nice home.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:37 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
For me personally & when thinking about our life, I would prefer DH have good hours and make less. I would hate for DH to miss out on the kids being little. It goes by too fast. A larger home & a nanny wouldn't make me as happy as DH spending time with DS & myself.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:38 PM |
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cgdg61606
Little Brother Christopher
Member since 2/07 6815 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
I think it depends on a lot of things...
I currently work full time in midtown. Commute is over an hour door to door. DH makes OK money with good hours. We have a nice house, vacations, etc. If DH were to get a higher paying job which would allow me to stay home, even if the hours were longer, we would do it. But longer hours in my mind, would be home by 7 p.m. most nights... by 8 p.m. on occasion... not later. Some Saturdays we could deal with too, as long as he was able to take off if needed for important occasions.
In your case, it seems you would still be able to stay home with the kids in either case, just not afford as many luxuries.
Good luck!
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:41 PM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
The latter definitely.
I would say we are kind of in the former situation now, though we are not wealthy by any means. But I'd much rather have him earn less and be home more.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:42 PM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by OrganicMama
Without a doubt have awesome hours and make less.
100% agree! 30 years down the road, we wouldn't give a rat's behind what kind of house we live in, as long as we made great memories in it together as a family.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:43 PM |
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
If this were my family situation I can say 100% my DH would WANT to work more and make more. He sees it as not just being a father, but our provider and he thinks about the long run. How could we save some of the extra$$ for her college, our retirement and so on. Plus with my RA having help would be wonderful. Yes they are little for a short time, but that is the point also. Could he be flexablie when dc is older? Not having to miss games or events, having special time with dc? I have also found quality is more important then quantity. 1 or 2 awesome days with Dad could be better then struggling and having nights together that are stressed. Plus the help for you and the financial security would ease some anxiety thus making you BOTH better parents.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:45 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Definitely good hours ok $$...family time is priceless IMO.
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:48 PM |
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Athee
I believe in miracles!
Member since 8/07 2462 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
for me personally, i'd rather have him work less for less. I enjoy being with him and spending time together!
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| Posted 3/8/11 1:48 PM |
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