Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

right now, I would rather the DH worked longer hours. He's become SUCH A pain....

In all honesty, if I had a little one (my kid is 10) I would probably want him home earlier, etc...

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

I am in this predicament now.

I make a lot more money than DH. I have a great job with great salary....but I work a ton of hours. We have a nice home, but it is not the nicest of our friends and family. We live well within our means.

DH has much better hours than me. He spends more time with our son, and the older my son gets, the more I see the division between his relationship with me and his relationship with DH. It can be very painful for me and I had no idea it would be like this.

I am now pregnant with #2 and grow more certain everyday that my current work situation needs to adjust. I miss too much stuff at home. The money is great, but we would be perfectly ok if I took a paycut. I know I would be ok if my house never turns into the updated version I see in my mind.

Once the time with your children is passed....it's just that, passed. They are only young once, and I know the kind of childhood memories I want my children to have. I am just not sure if my current work situation will get us there.

It's a tough thing to work out for yourselves. I am a big believer in the saying "you can never be too rich" but lately the emotional pricetag for living that way is very high...

Just my 0.02

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

Posted by Bops

Good hours and made less ( within reason of-course), at least while the DC's are young.

That song "Cats In The Cradle" is something I always think of...Life is so short and little ones don't stay little for long and you cannot get time back ..Just my own personal feelings

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

Right now dh works long long hours has a 3 hr commute and makes good money. We HATE it. We would have him take less money and have better hours in a heartbeat. However dh knows he is lucky to have a job in this economy so we don't complain too much.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

You can't get this time back. My DH worked in finance and worked crazy hours. Now he's a professor and the schedule is great. We have a lot less money but the alternative would be me being responsible for most of DD's care and DH not being around. We really parent her 50-50 and that is very important to us.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

I agree that only you can answer this. My take on this, is different then most. My DH is currently working 2 jobs, so he bearly sees DS during the week. He gets home at 6...we do the dinner thing, then DS is in bed. But all weekend we do things as a family, which is totally great. But with working both jobs, he doesn't make much. If he had the opportunity to work crazy hours and make tons of solid good money, I'd have him take it. JUst so we can in fact get out of debt, actually afford to move and buy a house, and then he would be able to cut down his hours, and then even switch jobs. DH loves being involved in DSs life, but with the constant struggle we have right now, he would jump on the opp. to get ourselves out of this hole.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

really good hours & make ok $.

Reason being if he were working long hours, it would all be on me. The minute he walked in from his long day of work exhausted & cranky, I'd be ready to hand the kids over to him.

That wouldn't be an ideal situation for either of us.

I had a dad that worked long hours & made an excellent living. I love & adore my dad but he missed out on a lot of us growing up.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

When we came to this crossroad, DH chose better hours. It was a no brainer.

But DH is a physician, and we are quickly learning there is no such thing as good hours when you're in certain professions. Yes he actually comes home for lunch, but he sits at the table with his laptop catching up on work - writing notes usually. Most weekends he is getting called, even if he isn't the one going in, he is the one called. I still don't understand this, but I don't want to be the nagging wife and ***** about it. He has official dinners/conferences/lectures at least 3 times a week, and he has to go to because of his position

It just doesn't seem worth it to me, the $ is for a lot of work, the $$$$ is for just a little bit more. Honestly, I don't get to see him that much as it is. And he is not domestic.

I'm living comfortably and I don't feel its my decision to make. Its ultimately his. But I did let him know, I think we'd see him as often as we'd see him now if he ever chose the other road.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

I may be in the minority but honestly DH right now works very long hours (but has flexibility) & honestly I take that with the more $$ anyday. DH looks at himself not only as a father but as the provider of our family. I am currently a SAHM & when we decided to have kids, this was one of the stipluations that we both insisted. Unfortunately with me being a SAHM, the burden of our bills is all on my DH so the extra $$ is better.

DH knows that he misses out on a lot of the special moments with the boys ie park time, pumpkin picking & just daily interaction but he wants to really set us up as a family this way the boys will be better off later & when they get to the age of sports, that is when DH will be taking on a new position so he can be there then.

This scenario does not work for everyone, but for us, it is ideal.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

I need balance, that means both DH and I and our kids spend time as a family. A nice house means nothing if we don't get to spend time together.

If one of us needed to work crazy hours to pay the bills, that's a different story. But for a bigger house? No thanks.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

it's a toss up...DH works really long hours during the week bc he liases a lot with Europe so has to be in super early. He barely sees DD during the week, BUT his job and hours allows me to be a SAHM and for me to have the choice of whether or not I want to go back to work and I appreciate that every day. Does it kill the both of us that he barely sees DD during the week yes, but at the same time I think it would kill us as well if I had to go back to work and figure out a daycare situation with DD....

Disclaimer: I do not think daycare is bad in anyway, I hope that point didn't come across!!!

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

we just went through this- dh took a $20k pay cut to not have to travel to the city so that he could be home more with me and our ds

It means that we will stay in our small coop apartment, take modest vacations but to us there is no subsitute for the family time that we will have

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

without a doubt, i'd rather him work less hours and make less money so he could be home with me and the kids at night. Family is the most important thing in the world to me and time together is everything.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

good hours OK money

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

I would take less hours and less $$$ and stay where we are.

There is always a bigger house, cleaning ladies, etc.... but it never replaces family time.

Everybody makes sacrifices somehow. It's up to you to prioritize what your family goals are.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

good hours and less $$$. you can't get that time back........

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

Posted by nov04libride

Posted by bicosi

hate to sound like a b!tch but only you can answer that..

Would he really be helping you when he got home? or is he more the type that he would just sit around and perhaps wait for direction or even cause you more work? I am being totally honest here lol

also, do you know for certain that those hours will always be that exact same set schedule?

These are things I'd be thinking about and taking into consideration..

and do you like your DH and want to see him? I kid, but for me that's really what it boils down to. I would only choose the more $$$ if I wasn't too fond of DH.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

For us, DH works nights and makes a lot more money...but he is home all day so it's the best of both worlds.

If I was in your position i'd rather less money and more family time.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?

I've got the husband that works really long hours. The money is great, but thats not why he chose to do it. The work is far more interesting than anything he could do for fewer hours. There isn't a right choice for everyone. I've worked 9-5 jobs that made me a big grump when I got home from work. I'd rather he love his job and see us when he can, then hate his job and come home early. The tradeoff is rarely as simple as hours vs money.

Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?