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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by Kissy331
I may be in the minority but honestly DH right now works very long hours (but has flexibility) & honestly I take that with the more $$ anyday. DH looks at himself not only as a father but as the provider of our family. I am currently a SAHM & when we decided to have kids, this was one of the stipluations that we both insisted. Unfortunately with me being a SAHM, the burden of our bills is all on my DH so the extra $$ is better.
DH knows that he misses out on a lot of the special moments with the boys ie park time, pumpkin picking & just daily interaction but he wants to really set us up as a family this way the boys will be better off later & when they get to the age of sports, that is when DH will be taking on a new position so he can be there then.
This scenario does not work for everyone, but for us, it is ideal.
We have a similar situation. DH works long hours, but is here every weekend, has lots of flexibility in working from home and we take a few nice vacations a year together as a family.
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Posted 3/8/11 9:15 PM  |
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CucumberGirl
You give the best smiles!
Member since 1/09 2398 total posts
Name:
M~
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
IDK, this is not such an easy call for me. As someone who grew up with nothing, $ is important to me - not because I want a huge house, but because I want to live well, enjoy my life, save for my DD, pay for her college, never have to worry about my money, take nice vacations - so $ is not just about a bigger house, it's about having the kind of life, now and in the future, that I want and will enjoy. We both work and we work a lot, but we make it work and we relish our time with DD. I work 80% (M-Th) and have every Friday with DD. Sometimes I have to send DD to MIL's and get some work done, but most of the time, I just have to respond to a few emails and take calls during her naps. My DH is usually home before DD's bedtime and is with her every morning - because his job lets us afford to live in the city, he doesn't leave the house until after 9 so he gets time with her then. We also have our weekends, which are work-free most of the time. I'm pretty happy with what we have going now and it lets us live well, save well, and we still get quality time with DD - we would not have this life is either of us took a substantial pay cut. We both work a lot and regularly put in a few hours at home after DD goes to bed, but I wouldn't trade our lives and our security for anything - but that's just me and my POV is obviously very colored by the way I grew up.
Message edited 3/8/2011 9:29:26 PM.
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| Posted 3/8/11 9:25 PM |
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DomesticDeeva
Tiebreaker on deck!!!
Member since 11/08 2088 total posts
Name:
Dee
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
As a 2 under 2 mom who has had DH in both situations, hands down I would choose better hours and less $. Even though I am a SAHM and we could use the extra $, I NEED him to be around, and although I could do bath and bedtime alone if I had to (and I did it when I had to), it is extremely difficult and I would much prefer his help. Especially since DS (older DC) is very clingy and at times jealous of DD, it helps to have DH there so I can focus on DS while he tends to DD.
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| Posted 3/8/11 9:30 PM |
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ChenAnChulo524
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/10 627 total posts
Name:
Vivian
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
I rather have DH who works really good hours and get okay $ . It would hurt him if he can't see DD that much !
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| Posted 3/8/11 9:31 PM |
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Kierasmom
I love my kids
Member since 5/05 2885 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by jacquig
Definitely good hours ok $$...family time is priceless IMO.
1000% agree with this. To me it's more important for us to have family time. So whether it's DH or me we both will always have "normal" hours and take less money then make more money and have long hours. Time with our kids is precious and to me no amount of money is worth it.
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| Posted 3/8/11 9:53 PM |
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maryb
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 914 total posts
Name:
Mary
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
IMO - no amount of money could replace the time with our children...my DH was able to change up his schedule at work to spend time with DS in the morning and he was still able to be home at 7 to see DS before bed..
i understand money is helpful, but i would def choose family time over money..
good luck in your decision
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| Posted 3/8/11 9:57 PM |
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TessMike214
Gabriella Aubrey born 3/26!
Member since 5/10 2440 total posts
Name:
Tess
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
we are going back and forth with this issue in our home
right now, DH works the midnight shifts with two premium days (those being saturday and sunday) he makes time and a half for his premium days which makes an unbelievable difference in his paycheck! He works in the city and we live in suffolk, so on top of these hours, he spends 3 hours communting
in a few months, he will have the choice to work Mon-Fri, 8-4 like a normal human being...this is going to cut his check down by a few hundred dollars a week
It's a hard decision, but I would much rather have him work good hours and make less money as long as we can afford it! It is not healthy for him to be working these hours year after year! and I don't sleep with him at night for most of the days, which is hard too!
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:10 PM |
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Lola
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1854 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by Calla
I've got the husband that works really long hours. The money is great, but thats not why he chose to do it. The work is far more interesting than anything he could do for fewer hours. There isn't a right choice for everyone. I've worked 9-5 jobs that made me a big grump when I got home from work. I'd rather he love his job and see us when he can, then hate his job and come home early. The tradeoff is rarely as simple as hours vs money.
Same situation here. DH works crazy hours and commutes to the city, but it allows me to stay at home with DS and allows us to live very comfortably. He doesn't have this job for the $$. if he took a job with less hours and $$, it would not be as interesting or challenging to him.
Even with his hours, he spends an hour with DS before work and dedicates all of his time on the weekend to us. For us it's quality vs. quantity. He is lucky that most of the time he can arrange to go in late or leave early when he needs to be somewhere for DS.
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:43 PM |
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chickiemom
LOVE my boys!!
Member since 10/09 1473 total posts
Name:
Leanne
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
I was just actually thinking about this the other day.. Looking at me and my friends, some of there husbands work all day long and when the weekends come around it is strictly family time.. I personally like that my husband works 7-3 or overnight so we still have a good amount of time together.. my DH would miss DS way too much.. Of course my friends whose husbands work all the time do have nicer homes and more "things" but we are comfortable and I can be a SAHM. That is what matters most to us.
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:45 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
Posted by Lola
Posted by Calla
I've got the husband that works really long hours. The money is great, but thats not why he chose to do it. The work is far more interesting than anything he could do for fewer hours. There isn't a right choice for everyone. I've worked 9-5 jobs that made me a big grump when I got home from work. I'd rather he love his job and see us when he can, then hate his job and come home early. The tradeoff is rarely as simple as hours vs money.
Same situation here. DH works crazy hours and commutes to the city, but it allows me to stay at home with DS and allows us to live very comfortably. He doesn't have this job for the $$. if he took a job with less hours and $$, it would not be as interesting or challenging to him.
Even with his hours, he spends an hour with DS before work and dedicates all of his time on the weekend to us. For us it's quality vs. quantity. He is lucky that most of the time he can arrange to go in late or leave early when he needs to be somewhere for DS.
dh and I too! if he didn't work long hours I would need to work FT neither of us would be happy then
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| Posted 3/9/11 1:22 PM |
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summertime
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/10 852 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you rather have a DH who works long hours and makes a lot of $ or have really good hours and make ok $?
For our family it is not about the "quantity" of time we spend with our children, it is about the "quality" of time. I know plenty of people who are home at night with their kids but they are watching tv or playing on the computer, etc... But to answer your question, it would really depend on the specifics of the situation, how much, etc.. My husband has a very demanding job and make a very good salary, however he is a dedicated family man whose "free" time revolves around his family. So you can make it work in either scenario.
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| Posted 3/9/11 8:31 PM |
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