WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

Ok she here's the scenerio.

I go out to SIL's car to say good bye to my nephew. See that he's in his car seat with it buckled, but the shoulder straps are around his waist and not over his shoulders. (he's 2).

I go to my SIL and tell her oh he got out of the shoduler straps and she's like oh well he doesn't like being buckled so we just let him get buckled in like that.

With all the drama with my SIL I didn't say anything but am sooo torn, since I know how unsafe that it and would never want to have something happen to him.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

Ok that's as bad as him not being IN a car seat.. is she kidding!! Im stunned by this!!!

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

I am not usually one to comment when I see a parent doing something I don't agree with however, in this case I would absolutely, 100%, without a doubt say something. That is so beyond unsafe..........what is she thinking???????? Who cares if he doesn't like it, he's 2.......he doesn't get a say. If he's probably restrained he won't be able to get out himself anyway and at least he's safe. If he cries about then too bad, drive around with a crying toddler. I'd rather a crying toddler then a dead one. She's out of her mind, I hope you speak up!!

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

I can't even begin to think how someone would think that's okay! Definitely say something to her, maybe email her a few links about car seat safety.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

I would say something, I usually keep my mouth shut, especially with my "know it all" relatives, but there is serious risk of spinal cord injury. She needs to at least hear that.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

I am usually a "mind you business" kind of person but, to me, this falls into the realm of putting a child in harms way.

I would have to call her and speak with her about how dangerous it is. Would it be better to speak with BIL or to have DH say something?

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

I would just let it be.

Not to make light of the situation but remember, car seats weren't mandatory in all cars until 1988. And many people who bring their toddlers with them on busses and in cabs don't even use car seats.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

At this point, since you let it go when you saw it, I would take the passive aggressive route.

Go to YouTube, and search car seat. You'll find some truly heartbreaking videos that you can email her with a note that you couldn't stop thinking about the what ifs after you saw that the car seat wasn't being used properly.

OR

You said SIL - is it your brother or DH's brother? If your sibling, go straight to him and say how shocked, scared, dismayed etc you were and that you didn't want to start WWIII, but you can't just ignore it either.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

That is your nephew and YOUR business! Please call her!

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

I don't care what kind of drama would have ensued, I would have made the biggest stink about how the child doesn't get to choose how he likes to be buckled.

OMG, what is she thinking???!!!!??

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

people do not like to be told what to do with their kids...

yesterday my sister's friend posted on FB about how her son outgrew his infant seat and how he loves facing forward now. I told her about the 1yr/20lbs minimum requirement (of which he meets neither) -she then deleted my comment, and defriended me, my husband and both my sisters

Its too unsafe to not say something, but try to approach it in a way that doesn't make her defensive.

Message edited 11/8/2010 11:33:55 AM.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

Thanks everyone, I just wanted to make sure i wasn't over-reacting.

It is my DH's sister and we've had one big family brawl lately over our difference in the way we parent and the way they choose to parent.

I try to pick and choose my battles, but i think this is one i am going to choose and let DH know and hopefully he can talk to her without ensuing another family brawl.

She's expecting another LO very soon and i'm hoping that she doesn't do this with the both of them as it is sooo dangerous.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

Posted by -Lisa-

people do not like to be told what to do with their kids...

yesterday my sister's friend posted on FB about how her son outgrew his infant seat and how he loves facing forward now. I told her about the 1yr/20lbs minimum requirement (of which he meets neither) -she then deleted my comment, and defriended me, my husband and both my sisters

Its too unsafe to not say something, but try to approach it in a way that doesn't make her defensive.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

Is it possible that she can't keep the 2 year old restrained? What if he keeps removing them and doesn't listen? Exactly how is she going to force him?

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

I would let it go. my good friend had her 1 YO daughter in her lap in the back seat ( we were following them) I was shocked and it took me a week to get up the nerve to say something. she totally dismissed me and said oh she doesn't like the car seat.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

I ask because DS is 13 months and screams bloody murder when I strap him him, always has. When I saw he figured out how to get his arm out I tightened it. I just worry that it's just a matter of time before he starts opening the buckle while we're driving. I don't know how I would prevent that.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

Your SIL is a selfish beatch - sorry but that is the only way to describe someone who puts their child in harms way. Sounds like she wouldn't even care if you send her links to car seat rules and regulations or horrific stories on you tube.

I would email or call her though and tell her that you have not been able to get that picture of your nephew not buckled in safely out of your mind and could she please start buckling him in as you would just lose your mind if anything were to happen to him. Maybe give her some hints on how to get him to sit in the seat while she is buckling him in like keeping small toys in the car etc etc.

I would sit on DS if needed in order to get him in the car seat.

Some parents and just plain stupid and irresponsible.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

Since your relationship is already strained with her, and since she seems to view any advice from you with disdain, it may be best to let your DH or maybe even MIL approach the subject with her. You confronting her directly may just add fuel to the fire or be met with a set of rolling eyes, ya know?

You could even just post a video or two or even an article on facebook and hope she "gets it". Maybe slip a pamphlet into her diaper bag even.

http://www.usaaedfoundation.org/pdf/544.pdf

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

people have seriously lost their mmmmeffing minds.

I can't.

even if you let your child get away with EVERYTHING. this is ONE battle you should MOM the eff up on and FIGHT!!!



ETA: my son wigs in the car seat now when I put him in. TOOO BAD charlie.

I LOVE you. I LOVE you that much. that I will take you being mad at me and crying and kicking. b/c I LOVE you. and you being safe is more important to me than you being appeased. end of story!

Message edited 11/8/2010 2:18:37 PM.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

DD being strapped in the car seat is non-negiotable. I would never drive around with her not secured. And I don't care how much she screams or fights me, it's a battle I'm going to win.

I would absolutely call her and tell her that her DC needs to be properly strapped in.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

I swear I was in the exact same situation. I just let it go. I don't have any children so I knew I'd get the usualy "you don't understand"

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

w. t. f.?!?
Yeah thats just stupid. Why bother putting him IN a car seat?

Message edited 11/8/2010 2:38:29 PM.

Re: WWYD- 2 yr old in a car seat

Posted by Ophelia

people have seriously lost their mmmmeffing minds.

I can't.

even if you let your child get away with EVERYTHING. this is ONE battle you should MOM the eff up on and FIGHT!!!



ETA: my son wigs in the car seat now when I put him in. TOOO BAD charlie.

I LOVE you. I LOVE you that much. that I will take you being mad at me and crying and kicking. b/c I LOVE you. and you being safe is more important to me than you being appeased. end of story!