WWYD

Dh mom quit her job and has been pushing to watch DD. We currently have her in daycare fulltime. She offered to watch DD Monday to Thursday. We would still need to send her to daycare on Friday. We would be saving 1000 a month. This would help us pay down some debt, which would allow us to eventually buy another house in a better district.

She is only 9 months and gets excited when I drop her off in the morning. She is extremely social. I am so afraid by only leaving her in daycare for 1 day that she wo t continue to be as social. Am I crazy? We looked into maybe 3 days but we would only be saving 200.

I know my MIL would have no problem having activities gor her to do its more the social aspect I am afraid she would be missing out on.

Re: WWYD

Id definately let MIL watch her! Shes only 9 mos and in my opinion has plenty of time to make friends, be social etc. My kids were watched by my inlaws. They are not shy at all And they have tons of friends and honestly have more of a social life then I do. Lol

Re: WWYD

I see the benefits of both having a child in daycare and keeping them at home
Is it possible to do 2 days daycare, 3 days with your MIL (or vice versa)? Or what about half days at daycare, half days with your MIL? This way she gets the best of both worlds
I still have my kids in daycare for half days bc at 3 and 4 they both nap...so why pay daycare to watch my kids nap?! I drop them off at 8:30am and my mom picks them up at 1 and has them til I get home around 6pm. Its a big money saver, and your MIL can still have time to herself in the mornings etc.

Message edited 8/16/2017 10:28:17 AM.

Re: WWYD

WWYD

Have your MIL watch her. There are tons of free, low cost activities available during the day. She could join a moms group to arrange play dates. The savings would be so worth it, for me.

As she gets older, she could go to a nursery program at a local church 2 or 3 days a week for socializing.

Message edited 8/16/2017 10:35:20 AM.

Re: WWYD

At that age I think it's fine to have your MIL watch her. When she's older you can always enroll her into a 2 or 3 year old program if you want (which is still significantly less than daycare).

WWYD

Go for it! Have your mil take the baby to library classes or a mommy and me to socialize.

WWYD

We had a similar situation. MIL works 12 hour days, so she works three days/week, and my mom was retired. We sent DS to daycare two days per week, then the grandmas would switch off. It was great. He got the socialization and structure two days a week, then got one on one attention from his grandmothers the other three days.

Re: WWYD

I would let my MIL watch my kid for sure. 1 day of daycare per week is good so they get social interaction. As PP have mentioned, your MIL can take your LO to library classes, the park, and meet up with other local moms.

WWYD

If she is doing good in daycare I would'nt mess with that even to save 1K a month. I am also not a big fan of using either Grandparents as "daycare" bc even in the best of parental relationships I feel like your wants and needs may not always be respected. I am a huge fan of daycare for endless reasons as long as it is a safe and loving environment.

Message edited 8/16/2017 10:58:05 AM.

Re: WWYD

WWYD

I vote for having your MIL watch her especially with the savings and the fact that you will use the $$ to pay down debt.

WWYD

I'd definitely let your MIL watch her over paying for day care. At 9 months they also gain so much from one on one time with a caregiver. You kind of have the best of both worlds in that situation. Day care for socialization and the bonds of a caregiver. $1000 is a VERY significant savings.

WWYD

Just wanted to add, that i have a few friends who had parents or in laws say they want to watch their little ones full time. They start out excited about it, then it slowly take a toll on them. They are not as motivated to get them out of the house and keep them active. Or they have appts and things that come up and they cant watch them all day leaving you in a bind.

Re: WWYD

My kids were home with me full time - with the exception of some library and mommy & me classes, until they were 2.
They are by-far more social and outgoing than their cousins and friends who were in daycare full from infancy. I literally have people telling me all the time what great social skills they have. So I wouldn't worry too much about your child not being social because they are not in day care full time. They don't really develop group socialization skills that young anyway.

Re: WWYD

I'd save the money while you can as long as LO is able to go back to daycare full time in the future if need be. I'm sure MIL isn't going to want to do this forever, so if you can save the money now while she's really young, I'd do it.

WWYD

I would do more of an even split. Like maybe have your mom take her for the afternoons. Or your mom 2 days a week, and daycare 3 days or whatever. Then you'll just pay fir Part time daycare. I'm a SAHM so I see a lot of grandparents watching the kids at activities during the day and stuff. They start off all enthusiastic about time with the grandkids, but then they start to wear out LOL so I think the more even split would be good all around...

WWYD

My MIL watched DS and now also watches DD. When it was just him, she would take him to Mommy & Me at the school down the block twice a week. When he turned 2 he started Toddler Time at the same school 3 days a week for 3 hours a day. In September DS will start nursery and while he’s in school – 5 days a week – she will take DD to Mommy & Me twice a week. My point is, you can have your MIL watch DD and still have her do these programs for a fraction of the cost.

Re: WWYD

Uh, for $1000 a month, I wouldn't hesitate. If your MIL can get around with the baby, just sign her up for baby dance classes, library classes etc.

WWYD

We looked into leaving her in for 3 days and we woukd only be saving 200.

Re: WWYD

At 9 months? Of course this would be a good option! She can take her to library events daily to socialize. Great way to save $ and for grandma to get bonding time she can never get back. I would not be hyper worried about socializing at this age. 1 day in daycare with some library visits is plenty. Saving the extra money will have for greater impact of your world.

WWYD

I'm clearly in the minority but I would continue to send her to daycare. I am a fan of set routines (especially for a baby/toddler) and feel that daycare facilities do this much better than family members. If my mom or MIL were watching DD (2), I'm pretty confident she wouldn't be on a set nap schedule, that she she'd still be drinking out of bottles, and living with her pacifier in her mouth. She's got them both wrapped around her finger and would run a muck, having them at her beck and call. Daycare was crucial to helping me with the transitions to sippy cups, getting rid of the pacifier, going from an AM and PM nap to one mid-day nap, etc. Sure, they can take her to a free library class here and there but I don't think a 45 minute class is equivalent to what goes on in a daycare facility that follows an educational curriculum. If your child is thriving in the environment she is currently in, I wouldn't disrupt it.

Re: WWYD

I would consider the non financial aspects. Do you and MIL generally agree on child care, discipline, etc? Is she reliable? How well do you communicate and address problems, etc. Will she actively engage with the child and attend activities, etc? How up to date is she as a care provider?

I think there's a lot of free and non free classes you can join to add the social element. I don't see that as an issue.

I've seen some situations not work with family care and create more stress due to factors I listed above.

There's pros and cons to all types of care. Best of luck, there's no one right way or wrong way.

WWYD

She is extremely reliable and i trust her 1000 percent. My concern is the social aspect. I have no hesistation with trusting her or her reliability. Im also in the mind set that she can always be put back in daycare if it doesnt work put with my MIL

Re: WWYD

Definitely take them up on the offer!
At 9 months, she honestly isn't even getting social interaction IMO.
At 2 or 3 you can put her in preschool.
There will be a great bond between grandma and child that you will form this way.