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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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WWYD Re: a Wake
A close friend of mine emailed me on Sunday saying her father had passed away (he hadn't been doing well for the past year) I emailed her back expressing sympathy and asking when the services would be. She wrote back saying "Please don’t feel like you have to come. It is a long way. I know you will be with me." and didn't mention when the services would be.
We have talked in the past about wakes and funerals (unfortunately there have been a few in the past few years) she has said how she feels it's very important for friends to attend services to support the family, they are difficult for everyone to attend but the effort should be made.
I do want to go to support her, I looked up the info and the wake is tonight 1.5 hours away. I would have to bring my 4 m/o son with me (no way around it).
Would you go?
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Posted 4/21/09 8:01 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: WWYD Re: a Wake
I personally don't think that it is appropriate to bring a baby to something like that... We are actually dealing with a very sick family member, and I have had to think about what we are going to do for the funeral and shiva...
BUT, in your case since you have no other options, I would maybe go and tell your friend you are coming/waht time, etc. Stop in and say hello for a few short mins to show your support. Alternatively, you can make plans to go to her house and bring the baby-- when it isn't the actual wake. She sounds like she understands your situation.
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| Posted 4/21/09 8:06 AM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: WWYD Re: a Wake
If it was closer, I would absolutely go....but since it's over an hour away and she mentioned she understands you not being there....I don't think it's necessary for you to go.
I would just wait a week or so, and set up a day to go visit her.
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| Posted 4/21/09 8:11 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: WWYD Re: a Wake
Posted by Palebride
If it was closer, I would absolutely go....but since it's over an hour away and she mentioned she understands you not being there....I don't think it's necessary for you to go.
I would just wait a week or so, and set up a day to go visit her.
i agree. i had this happen very recently. i asked my friend about it and she told me that she was not comfortable with me bringing DS to the wake - she wanted to mourn, not coo over a baby. so she didn't want to feel torn. and i completely understood.
i am sorry for your friend's loss. i would send a card and call her next week. 
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| Posted 4/21/09 8:21 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: WWYD Re: a Wake
When DS1 was about that age, a friend's father passed away and we had no choice but to bring him. Everyone there was so appreciative to see a new baby. Since then, unfortunately, we have brought him to too many other wakes, funerals, shivas as well. 
While I wouldn't bring him to a grave site or up to the body, it is certainly acceptable to bring the baby to the funeral home or to the mourner's home.
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| Posted 4/21/09 8:21 AM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: WWYD Re: a Wake
Posted by FelAndJon
When DS1 was about that age, a friend's father passed away and we had no choice but to bring him. Everyone there was so appreciative to see a new baby. Since then, unfortunately, we have brought him to too many other wakes, funerals, shivas as well.
While I wouldn't bring him to a grave site or up to the body, it is certainly acceptable to bring the baby to the funeral home or to the mourner's home.
I agree.
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| Posted 4/21/09 8:26 AM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: WWYD Re: a Wake
Posted by FelAndJon
When DS1 was about that age, a friend's father passed away and we had no choice but to bring him. Everyone there was so appreciative to see a new baby. Since then, unfortunately, we have brought him to too many other wakes, funerals, shivas as well.
While I wouldn't bring him to a grave site or up to the body, it is certainly acceptable to bring the baby to the funeral home or to the mourner's home.
I agree. When DS was just a few months old, a friend's grandmother passed away. We brought DS. My FIL passed away when DS was 6 months old. Since those wakes and funerals, we have had too many to go to. DS has gone to every wake. There are many places to go in a funeral home to tend to an infant that isn't in the actual room.
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| Posted 4/21/09 8:28 AM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: WWYD Re: a Wake
Thank you everyone. I am still not sure what I am going to do, but the different perspectives are helpful
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| Posted 4/21/09 8:47 AM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: WWYD Re: a Wake
Posted by Palebride
If it was closer, I would absolutely go....but since it's over an hour away and she mentioned she understands you not being there....I don't think it's necessary for you to go.
I would just wait a week or so, and set up a day to go visit her.
I agree ~ in the meantime you can send her a card or flowers expressing you are there with her in spirit....& then visit her in a week or two
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| Posted 4/21/09 9:32 AM |
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shellybean
Love my Baby Boy!
Member since 4/07 5191 total posts
Name:
mich
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Re: WWYD Re: a Wake
YES, I feel you should. thats just me wakes are a big deal...
Message edited 4/21/2009 9:37:17 AM.
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| Posted 4/21/09 9:36 AM |
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