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DanaRenee
Fitness Junkie!
Member since 6/06 6470 total posts
Name:
Dana
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WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
I'm so torn. My sister is 11 weeks pg.
She smokes.
Yesterday she ordered a bacardi and diet coke w/dinner (we were out - I ordered one as well and it was totally strong enough to catch a buzz).
Not to mention she has a 19 month old that is WAY behind developmentally (not talking...not even babbling AT ALL, not eating anything but purees, walked really late, etc). Yet she hasn't taken him anywhere to be evaluated yet. She had complications w/that pregnancy and he was born premature but fine. She smoked w/him as well (and drank lightly).
It makes me sick. My heart breaks for her unborn child.
Do I keep my mouth shut? Do I say something? Am I making a big deal over nothing?
To add to it, my FIL is her obgyn and he tells her that 1 drink is OK (I think he means like a small glass of wine, not a mixed drink!) But obviously he is against the smoking. I don't say anything to him either b/c its not my business...but I just don't know what to do 
WWYD?
TIA
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Posted 5/19/08 9:54 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
UGH 
I would say something although I doubt it will help since she's obviously aware that smoking isn't good for her pregnancy, or her.
I don't understand people. I was a smoker and I know it's difficult to stop but the minute I got a BFP it was a no-brainer - I quit.
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| Posted 5/19/08 9:57 AM |
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LI2VA
Love my life!!
Member since 11/05 3125 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
No you are not making a big dealover nothing!!!
I don't know if i could keep my mouth shut about this, especially to my sister. But thats just me.
i would say something asap!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 5/19/08 9:58 AM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
Message edited 11/22/2010 11:16:11 AM.
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| Posted 5/19/08 9:59 AM |
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jlp63
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/08 871 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
I don't know what your relationship with your sister is like, but I would definitely say something. Its not your place to say anything to her FIL, but you should be able to talk to her about it. I would just try to make sure she knows you are saying something because you care about her - you don't want her to get on the defensive because then she won't hear anything you say, KWIM?
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:00 AM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
ok...jmho...but I would freak the heck out!
first of all...ifu reasearch drinking and pregnancy--the reason why there is a warning is because with fetal alcohol syndrome with every person it is different---it can take one drink or 20 drinks..why risk it?
I am sorry...but I can wait the 9 months for a drink...I know people do it for a special event but if u look it up---experts differ..dk..
the smoking is hideous...that kid is puffing along with her..
and one question because I am just a snoop I guess...her FIL meaning her husbands dad i assume? is her gyno?
I most certainly would say something--and right away
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:00 AM |
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JChia
Mom of 2 Princesses
Member since 9/07 2540 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
AAACKK - that is terrible - I would probably avoid her as much as possible so I wouldn't be forced into saying something...
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:17 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
I'd have to say something. Not just because she's your sister, but also because that child inside of her is also your blood - your nephew or neice. Obviously mommy isn't looking out for his or her best interests, so somebody has to advocate on his/her behalf...
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:19 AM |
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MrsSunflwr29
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1093 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
If this was my sister I would definately say something. I couldnt live with myself knowing that is something happened to this child that I didnt open my mouth. What about her husband how does he feel about all of this? Maybe you can also have your mom say something to her. She is potentially ruining a life of a person(s) that didnt even have a chance yet...
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:22 AM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
I'm in the minority here but I would stay out of it. My sister is also PG with her second. She smoked throughout her entire first pregnancy and is smoking through this one. She knows the risks associated with smoking and pregnancy. She knows the risks associated with drinking and pregnancy (I don't think she has had a drink since her BFP, but she definitely drank like a fish between conception and that test).
I'm staying out of it with my sister b/c to do otherwise would create unneccesary tension. My sister knows I quit smoking to get pregnany. She knows what I think of the entire thing. Her child, her life, her choices. Not the ones I would make certainly, but then again in her shoes I never would have tried to get PG.
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:31 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
Seriously, this makes my blood BOIL!!!
There's no way I could have sat there and watched her for one minute.
Not sure if it's because I had to go through a lot of extra effort and expense of time, energy and money to get pg and watched every morsel and ounce that went into my body before and during pregnancy or because I work with students with learning disabilities, some of which almost certainly come from their parent's drug and alcohol abuse.
She is pg, what she does to her body effects an innocent unborn fetus. She is consciously hurting her unborn child and damaging it's future potential.
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:34 AM |
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DUCKS2001
Then there was 2
Member since 3/06 5696 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
Yikes .. I would say something she is your sister and not a stranger..
for one drinking while pg .. the child can have fetal alchohol syndrome
smoking is not healthy for growth and development.
that poor baby. can you call her FIL?
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:37 AM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
I would say something...
The women across the street has smoked with each and every one of her pregnancies...as Im writing this to you she is about 5 months pregnant and is on the 3rd cigarette of the morning that I have seen her smoking.. We were pregnant at the same time last year and I tried to caution her on the effects of smoking while pregnant..I smoked but quit before I had DS and didnt smoke at all during my pregnancy..It fell on deaf ears. According to her all her kids are fine so she doesnt see any reason to stop. The fact that they are ALL behind socially, emotionally, and developmentally doesnt tell her anything apparently. (she is on #5) They all suffer from respitory problems, allergies, and are constantly congested..but she doesnt think it has anything to do with the smoking .
Like Jeannine said they dont know how much alcohol is safe during pregnancy so they just tell us not to have any..Im sure FIL told her an occassional glass is OK...I dont think the type of alcohol would really matter.On that matter I would only be concerned if she was constantly indulging..Although I do share the sentiments of "cant you just wait 9 months?"..
I dont know how you would go about saying something to her..but I would definitely say something. I guess what to say would depend upon how your relationship is with your sister.
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:38 AM |
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NewlyMrs
Laugh-Live-Love LIFE!
Member since 10/06 14432 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
Posted by mrsv1015
No you are not making a big dealover nothing!!!
I don't know if i could keep my mouth shut about this, especially to my sister. But thats just me.
i would say something asap!!!!!!!!!
ITA! I would absolutely make a big deal & I can't believe you the FIL is not making a big deal
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:38 AM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
Posted by Bxgell2
I'd have to say something. Not just because she's your sister, but also because that child inside of her is also your blood - your nephew or neice. Obviously mommy isn't looking out for his or her best interests, so somebody has to advocate on his/her behalf...
ITA....I would definitely say something. Who cares if she gets mad......she needs someone to smack her back to reality. That is crazy.
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:40 AM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
I would say something!!! She is your sister not a stranger on the street. I would probably smack her upside the head too!!!! I understand everything in moderation but this is a little bit over the top.
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:44 AM |
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christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
If it were my sister, I would totally express my concerns. However, with that said I also know people will do what they want anyway. All you can do is try right.
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| Posted 5/19/08 10:45 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
I would have to say something. What she is doing is soooo horrible, I would have to-even if I know she's already aware.
Message edited 5/19/2008 12:12:30 PM.
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| Posted 5/19/08 11:21 AM |
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alexlynn7
Big brother to be!
Member since 9/06 6314 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
i would say something once - just to get it off your chest and because maybe hearing it from you will make a difference. i know that i tend to "hear" things from my sister that i don't get from other people. it's worth a try. after that i would stay out of it - it's her life...
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| Posted 5/19/08 11:26 AM |
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Bklyngrl
luvmyfamily
Member since 9/06 5307 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
i would have to say something. its your sister - gently express your concern
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| Posted 5/19/08 6:33 PM |
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MyChip-n-Dales
lifes many lil twisted curves
Member since 10/07 5158 total posts
Name:
aeriell
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
i would say something an occasional drink is a glass of wine...
btw sorry if im a lil blunt here but am i the only one that wouldnt be comfortable with my fil as the obgyn?? i dont think i could have him look at my hoohaw and then sit at the dinner table.. i guess its just me... sorry for the crash..
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| Posted 5/19/08 6:41 PM |
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avamamma
My Girl
Member since 7/06 3395 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
I would absolutey have something to say. I wouldn't preach to her, but I would approach this as a concerned sister and Aunt.
As far as her 19 month old, I don't think that there is anything wrong with mentioning getting him evaluated.
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| Posted 5/19/08 6:53 PM |
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
Ugh...I would absolutely say something to her. Maybe show her some articles on the internet? I don't mean to go the "scared straight" route but she needs to see that what she is doing is wrong. I wish she would have learned with her first chld being premature not to mention the possible problems he/she is facing.  I would say something.
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| Posted 5/19/08 7:15 PM |
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hope07
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1050 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
I WOULD ABSOLUTLY say something!!! How could you not!!!!! Could you support her and help her in any way... is she open to that?
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| Posted 5/19/08 7:37 PM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: WWYD ? re: my sister's pregnancy
Posted by twinboys425
i would say something an occasional drink is a glass of wine...
btw sorry if im a lil blunt here but am i the only one that wouldnt be comfortable with my fil as the obgyn?? i dont think i could have him look at my hoohaw and then sit at the dinner table.. i guess its just me... sorry for the crash..
no---u are not the only one...it freaked me out reading it...lmao..I am soooooooooo not comfortablelike that!i dontneed him looking at my chunnie! lmao
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| Posted 5/19/08 8:28 PM |
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