WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

My DH’s friend just got pregnant through IVF. They already have an almost 2 year old through a previous IVF. Anyway, they found out a couple of weeks ago that they were going to have triplets. A week or so later they found out that two of the babies (the identical ones) were sharing the same sac (or something similar). Their doctor told them that since they are sharing the same sac its can cause problems. The cord can get wrapped around the neck, its possible that they can have serious delay issues and its also possible that they can harm the other baby. The doctors suggest that they terminate the identical ones so it doesn’t pose a risk to the other baby. Well needless to say, they are terminating both babies and just sticking with one.

I was just wondering what you would do if you were put in this position? I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I see where they are coming from in so many aspects, but I am also a little sad that they are choosing this route.

I would like to know what you girls think about this?

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

WOW... i am sso sorry they even had to make that choice... i think i would do a LOT of research but even then i would have a very hard time terminating one, let alone two of the babies.

so sad

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Posted by headoverheels

WOW... i am sso sorry they even had to make that choice... i think i would do a LOT of research but even then i would have a very hard time terminating one, let alone two of the babies.

so sad

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Frankly, I have absolutely positively NO idea what I would do in that situation. I would hope that DH & I would research, research, and research some more, discuss everything with the MDs, get a second opinion, and then make an informed decision about what is best for our family.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Well after going through IVF I'm sure terminating part of her pregnancy is absolutely devastating. I would think her doctors have informed her of all her options and obvioulsy there were going to be some serious risks if she decided to continue. I can't say what I would do in that situation and I feel horrible for this woman.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

It must be VERY devestating. Twin to twin transfusion sydndrome is very dangerous though. My nephews had this problem, and a lot of risky fluid draining procedures had to be done to her during her pregnancy. She did well, both twins did well, but in the end, one of them did pass after 5 days..his kidneys did not develop.

I can't imagine the decision she is having to make, no answer is easy. Go ahead with the pregnancy and there is a very good possibility of losing ALL of the babies. then there is always the chance all babies will be perfectly fine..so hard, so scary. I don't envy the position those parents are in.

I can't imagine i would ever choose to terminate, however, there is absolutely NO WAY to know what you would do until it happens to you.

I pray for that family...

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

personally, I don't think I could do it. But I can't say anything with certainty unless I was in that position.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Identicals sharing the same sack are very high risk. There are so many things that can go wrong with this. I am not sure what I would do, but I would try and make the best decision that would give me the outcome of having at least one healthy baby, instead of something happeneing to all of them. Very hard to say exactly what I would do, not in that situation.

I really feel for your DH's friend though.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Posted by MsMBV

Posted by headoverheels

WOW... i am sso sorry they even had to make that choice... i think i would do a LOT of research but even then i would have a very hard time terminating one, let alone two of the babies.

so sad

This is also my initial reaction, but I honestly cannot say what I would do unless I was truly in the situation.

Many for them.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

I don't think anyone would make that decision lightly -
ESPECIALLY someone who had to go through IVF to get PG -

I am a practical person - I'd get a second opinion, and if that Dr agreed that all three babies could end up hurt, or worse, I'd terminate the identical twins to give the third baby the best chance at a healthy birth and life -

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

While I can't say what I'd do unless I was in that situation, I would probably choose to terminate the identicals to give the surviving fraternal a better chance at life.

I don't think it's a choice anyone would take lightly. One thing I absolutely know is that I would not want to burden my child with caring for a sibling for the rest of their life if I could avoid it. I've personally seen it happen to a man in his late 60s & I would not want my child to be in that situation.

There is no win in that situation. Truly heartwrenching.

Message edited 3/26/2009 12:44:27 PM.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

no clue honestly. What a tough situation!

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

I feel bad for them. I would be so torn. I know two people who had identical twins in the same sac. One set didn't make it and the other is fine. I don't know if I could terminate the twins just in case something happened. They could turn out fine.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

I could never reduce/terminate. It goes against everything I believe in...

I would take the chance on the three babies. This scenario has happened many times where couples have taken a chance when there were possible problems and the end result are healthy babies. And sometimes, unfortunately, the end result goes the other way. But in good faith I would take the chance, pray a whole lot and know that it is out of my hands.

I do not know this couples exact situation and I'd be lying if I said I never judge...i just can't fathom how anyone could choose to end a life that was so wanted. But that is MY opinion only, I consider the baby to be a life from conception and others do not. I'm sure this wasn't easy for them and not something they took lightly

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Wow, that's a tough situation. I guess I can't say for sure unless I was in that situation, but my first instinct is to not do anything.

I would probably get a 2nd and a 3rd opinion, and then still, probably leave it in God's hands.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

While MOMO twins are very high risk I know I could never terminate the pregnancy...Ive got to much faith for that...I'd leave it to the powers that be and hope for the best.

ETA: Id also seek out another opinion. Sometimes twins arent MOMO or monochorionic/monoamnionic...as previously thought.

Message edited 3/26/2009 1:08:33 PM.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Having already gone through losing a baby when there was clearly something wrong, I would honestly say that I would not terminate the two identical twins. I would have to have much more proof that something was fatally wrong with any of the babies before I would consider it. I would seriously lose my mind if I ever had to make that decision again.

I would want to give them all a chance to live, although I can understand the hard reality that she might lose them all if she were to continue the pregnancy.

There's no clear cut answer for anyone. I for her little babies.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Honestly not being in that situation (fortunately) I have no idea what I would do.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

Tough situation, but I personally couldn't terminate.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

I have no idea what I would do but what an awful situation to be in. Many to the mother and father that have to make that kind of decision.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

I think it is no one's place to judge and I honestly have NO idea what I would do in that situation.

Re: WWYD...DH's friend is preggo with triplets....

I don't know what I would do if I were in their situation. I do know however if it was my friend making such a difficult decision I would support them and not give them any of my opinions, just my support and love.