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Your Husbands
How do they handle if you need to go for IUI or IVF? Does anyone's DH have issues dealing with it or not wanting to do it? or maybe even accepting of the situation?
Message edited 3/25/2014 1:22:49 PM.
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Posted 3/25/14 1:22 PM  |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
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Me
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Your Husbands
Dh didn't love the idea of iuis, but eventually it came to that. Then dh didn't love the idea of Ivf, but it came to that too. At the end of the day all you want is a baby in your arms, you don't care about how they get there.
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| Posted 3/25/14 1:25 PM |
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MrsM0829
... With a cherry on top!!!
Member since 11/09 1332 total posts
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Re: Your Husbands
DH doesn't love the idea of IVF, but it's because of the physical, emotional and financial toll that it takes. Basically the same reasons I wish we didn't need to do this. LOL He doesn't have a moral or religious objection to it.
When I first started the injectibles for our first round of IVF, he swore we wouldn't do it again because he didn't like seeing me go through that. But we're going to try again because it's our only option.
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| Posted 3/25/14 1:34 PM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
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<3
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Re: Your Husbands
I dislike my DH right now to the fullest extent.
(This could be the gonal F talking lol)
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| Posted 3/25/14 1:49 PM |
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08BabySurprise
My Life. My Everything.
Member since 10/07 9151 total posts
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Re: Your Husbands
Posted by Lillies
I dislike my DH right now to the fullest extent.
(This could be the gonal F talking lol)
 Nope. Not the gonal. This is ALL YOU TALKING and rightly so 
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| Posted 3/25/14 2:12 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
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Me
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Re: Your Husbands
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| Posted 3/25/14 2:32 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
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Momma <3
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Re: Your Husbands
My DH had a VERY hard time accepting it. We literally had no other choice though so he dealt with it. I think since we were dealing with MFI, it made it even more difficult to accept.
Even now at 35+ weeks pregnant, he still has a hard time accepting that we had to use medical intervention to get pregnant.
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| Posted 3/25/14 2:33 PM |
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hazel2
LIF Infant
Member since 5/13 346 total posts
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Re: Your Husbands
My DH is much more positive than I am and it takes him awhile to give up! I'm more negative (I call it realistic lolol) If we had the $ he would probably want me to do multiple IVF cycles, but we really can only afford 2, so we have one more chance!
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| Posted 3/25/14 3:37 PM |
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starr
little whale on the way
Member since 6/10 1288 total posts
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Your Husbands
other than like me being upset that we had to go the medical route as it was not happening for us naturally (esp that he had a daughter from previous relationship when he was very young) he had no other issues. it was just what needed to be done as with any medical condition.
we just wanted a baby, really didn't matter to us how or where we get from. I am now 27 weeks.
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| Posted 3/25/14 3:38 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
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Phyllis
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Re: Your Husbands
I fought DH every step of the way and it was hell 
Moral, religious, financial - you name it, he was against everything but trying on our own. Eventually he warmed up to Clomid and TI. Then IUI's was a HUGE step. While doing the IUIs, I would talk about IVF, make him read up on it... There was a lot of fighting, hurt and anger. Finally, when it came to IVF being our last chance, it took 2 months of talking back and forth and he finally agreed to go for it. I think he was reluctant, but knew if we didn't at least try, I would never forgive him and always wonder what if.
In the end, we spent the first 2.5 years of our marriage in a very bad place and sadly, for nothing. BUT we now know we can get through ANYTHING because somehow we got through this.
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| Posted 3/25/14 3:40 PM |
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Anne44
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/10 752 total posts
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Re: Your Husbands
Running in 4 Marathons, 2 REs, countless iuis and 2 ivfs and fets, and a beautiful DD later and the topic is still very raw for the two of us. I still go to therapy and he still runs to help with the emotional roller coaster we have been on the past 5 plus years. The good news is we survived this we can conquer anything together.
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| Posted 3/25/14 4:09 PM |
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babyfever24
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 3340 total posts
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Re: Your Husbands
He is always weird the day of....but supportive otherwise.
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| Posted 3/25/14 4:09 PM |
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Re: Your Husbands
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
I fought DH every step of the way and it was hell
Moral, religious, financial - you name it, he was against everything but trying on our own. Eventually he warmed up to Clomid and TI. Then IUI's was a HUGE step. While doing the IUIs, I would talk about IVF, make him read up on it... There was a lot of fighting, hurt and anger. Finally, when it came to IVF being our last chance, it took 2 months of talking back and forth and he finally agreed to go for it. I think he was reluctant, but knew if we didn't at least try, I would never forgive him and always wonder what if.
In the end, we spent the first 2.5 years of our marriage in a very bad place and sadly, for nothing. BUT we now know we can get through ANYTHING because somehow we got through this.
Your situation sounds a lot like mine but right now I'm at the stage of getting DH warmed up to the idea of IVF. He's finally starting to agree I it although we're going to wait for the fall.
I feel like guys take awhile they perceive this whole experience differently and I feel like for them it's a matter of pride or feeling inadequate and that's why their so reluctant when it comes to asking for help from an RE. Trust me in the beginning DH and I had our fair share of fights but he finally realized that it wasn't happening on its own and seeing how upset it was making me he finally agreed to it.
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| Posted 3/25/14 4:27 PM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
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Your Husbands
My DH refuses to make any specimen at the office and will only do it at home. He is not comfortable with the situation but understands it. He has always been hard headed and will not bend no matter what anyone says.
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| Posted 3/25/14 4:57 PM |
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Michelle1110
My family is complete
Member since 1/12 2338 total posts
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Re: Your Husbands
DH was awful when it came to timed intercourse. He didn't like feeling pressured.  thank god for the iui's!!! If the last one we did didn't work he was ready to jump to Ivf and I wasn't.
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| Posted 3/25/14 5:03 PM |
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Michelle1110
My family is complete
Member since 1/12 2338 total posts
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Re: Your Husbands
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
Lmfao. Is he sleeping on couch ?
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| Posted 3/25/14 5:03 PM |
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Lillies
Grateful for my babies!
Member since 2/12 4571 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: Your Husbands
Posted by Michelle1110
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
Lmfao. Is he sleeping on couch ?
I wish!
He gets home at 1am when I'm already sleeping so I can't kick him out lol!
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| Posted 3/25/14 5:05 PM |
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Michelle1110
My family is complete
Member since 1/12 2338 total posts
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Your Husbands
Lock the bedroom door ;)
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| Posted 3/25/14 5:22 PM |
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BabyBearA
LIF Adult
Member since 7/11 1254 total posts
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Your Husbands
My dh agreed to get all the testing done and do ti. He is not ready to take the next step and go for iui. I'm not pushing him at the moment. He truly believes it will happen and I want to give it my best before I move on as well. At the moment We aren't even doing ti because I hated the clomid!!! We are just doing our own thing...
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| Posted 3/25/14 7:17 PM |
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Re: Your Husbands
Posted by MrsWoods
My DH refuses to make any specimen at the office and will only do it at home. He is not comfortable with the situation but understands it. He has always been hard headed and will not bend no matter what anyone says.
Just an FYI....DH produced all specimens at home, even the ones for IVF. It was his stipulation too, so I went with it.
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| Posted 3/25/14 7:19 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Your Husbands
Posted by Lillies
Posted by Michelle1110
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
Lmfao. Is he sleeping on couch ?
I wish!
He gets home at 1am when I'm already sleeping so I can't kick him out lol!
Put his pillows and a blanket on the couch. He'll get the hint.
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| Posted 3/25/14 7:24 PM |
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Your Husbands
Thank you all for your responses it really helped me feel better my Dh is not completely on board and I'm trying not to fight
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| Posted 3/25/14 7:43 PM |
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Re: Your Husbands
Posted by hopeforthebest
Thank you all for your responses it really helped me feel better my Dh is not completely on board and I'm trying not to fight
 hang in there. In the beginning I felt like I was all alone, like my DH was the only one in the world who felt this way. It takes time i'm sure your DH will come around like most of them do.
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| Posted 3/25/14 8:04 PM |
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babydreams21
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 3656 total posts
Name:
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Your Husbands
My DH is like whatever about it. His biggest thing is we are doing all and spending all this money when there are no guarantees. It kills him that we were given such good odds of IUIs and then IVF working but nothing has worked. He supports whatever I want to do but once our insurance runs out after this cycle I can't see him wanting to pay for everything OOP.
My DH has always been so positive the procedures would work and still thinks it can happen but I'm not so sure anything will ever work.
For us women we are so involved in everything it becomes our life. Our DHs are removed bc they aren't the ones dealing with all the crap. I called/emailed so many people in the past week about med issues.
GL
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| Posted 3/25/14 8:12 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Your Husbands
Posted by PrayingForBaby747
I feel like guys take awhile they perceive this whole experience differently and I feel like for them it's a matter of pride or feeling inadequate and that's why they're so reluctant when it comes to asking for help from an RE.
I agree 100%! I think the fact that we know it was MFI only made this feeling worse for my DH. Plus, I think he hated that I had to go through all of this when it was "his" issue. I tried to explain that we are a team and that it was/is OUR issue.
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| Posted 3/25/14 8:25 PM |
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