Having a hard time...long vent

So, I found out that my good friend, who is also my co-worker, is pregnant. She is just about 4 months and is due in June. But, I didn't hear this from her.....my boss told me. Now she knows about my fertility issues, so I can kind of understand why she feels like she can't tell me. But, I can't help but be angry. Besides...she is showing and not doing a very good job at hiding it. I kind of had an idea that she was for a few weeks now.

But, I shouldn't of heard it from my boss the way that I did. And what makes me even more upset is that she told my boss that she wasn't telling me because I would be mad and upset. That was just wrong. My boss knows that I have several doctors appts all the time, although I didn't explain to him why. And after her comment and the fact that she hasn't told me yet, I am sure that he has put two and two together and probably has figured out what my appts are for.

And I am upset because yet another friend (this is the 3rd) is pregnant and after 2 years, I still am not. And I feel like we aren't any closer to being pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her, although mad because she hasn't told me, but I am just really sad for me. I have been crying all week (even at work)....AF is due within the next few days, and I just don't think I am going to be able to handle it.

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

I am soo sorry!!!!! I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better! We have all been there!

As for your co-worker, she handled it the wrong way. She created this awkward situation......Are you suppose to approach her and congratulate her now? She should of told you first.

Sorry!

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Yes I think your friend was wrong for not telling you...regardless she should have had the common courtesy of telling you when she knows she started to show and not telling your boss that you would be mad and upset. People just don't think sometimes. It is hard to hear that someone else is pregnant when you have been trying for so long however, no matter what you deserve common courtesy and I'm sure if she would have sat you down and talked to you you would have congratulated her. I know how hard it is to feel like people are getting preggo and you're not...I feel the same way. I just want to send you
and for you this year!!!

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

First of all, I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time.

Secondly, I don't blame you for being upset with her, especially if you are good friends and you see her every day at work.

Thirdly, it was totally inappropriate and wrong for her to talk to your boss and tell him that she's not telling you because of your reaction. Does she know/not know about you not telling him about what your appointments are for?

And also, lots of

And, we hate you AF!

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

I'm sorry that you are having a crappy time. I also think it was inappropriate of your colleague & friend, she should have told you herself & not got your Boss involved, what's it got to do with your Boss anyway?
It is difficult to watch every one around you getting pregnant, especially when they are people that you care for. it is tough to go through the mixed emotions. I am always happy for them but sad for us and to be honest I am jealous.

I hope that you feel better and that the situation at work is tolerable for you. As me Mum always says, try to keep your chin up!

Sending you some hugs

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

I am so sorry - its awful being in this situation. Its not right that your friend couldn't tell you herself, but I'm starting to realise that regular people jus tdon;t seem to get it - they are well intentioned, but often at a loss of how to handle us

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

This is the main reason I haven't told any friends/neighbors or co-workers we are doing IVF. I think people don't know how to handle it....and I have people getting pg left and right of me. My sister knows we are doing IVF and I think she was hesitant to tell me they were even trying. The awkardness makes it worse on us! I am sorry for what you are going through and how she handled it!

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

i am sorry you are hurting. your friend really handled that poorly and made an already tough situation even harder.

many hugs and prayers to you.

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

I completely understand. One of my BM is probably 6 months pregnant now and she still hasnt "told" me. She knows I know but I have not heard from her since I aw her last in July.

It is very hurtful

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

Thanks everyone for you support. This process we all go through is hard enough without having to deal with friends stupidity.

There is more to the work story, but I won't bore you with all of it. Basically my boss told me in a moment of anger. She had messed up badly at work, which affected the work of me, him and another person. We were all working last saturday and she wasn't. So basically we were all complaining and that's when he mentioned it.

He probably shouldn't have, but what is done is done. And he doesn't know about my fertility issues, otherwise he probably wouldn't have blurted it out like that.

Re: Having a hard time...long vent

Sorry you have to deal with this in addition to everything else you are going through. It is the last thing you need. Since emotions and your state of mind play such a big part, try to not let it get to you. Believe me I know it is hard.