Advice please...I don't know where to turn.

Ava will be 5 next week, and life is not getting any easier like everyone promised me it would.

Let me start at the beginning.

She was a happy baby that ate and slept well.

Then at about 2, she started to become very difficult. I just thought it was the terrible two's...However, it didn't get better, only worse.
-terrible, neverending tantrums
-didn't like loud noises, hair washing, teeth and hair brushing
-stopped sleeping- woke several times a night
-stopped eating- she would only drink milk and water and eat yogurt and mac and cheese
-etremely jealous. didn't like me to talk to other people

I went to the Ped a million times, and they always brushed me off.

I tried every parenting book and video. I blamed myself and DH. We weren't strict enough, we paid too much attention to her, she is the only child, etc..

When she went almost a year without gaining weight, the Ped suggested I get her evaluated. So I did.

She was given Ot for sensory issues and speech even though I never really saw a need for the speech. She went to Just Kids in Lindenhurst for 2 1/2 a day/ 5 days a week.

She did well in school, followed directions and was well behaved. At the end of this school year, I had her independently tested by a Speech Pathologist, and it was determined that she was at an 8-10 year old level for all aspects of speech. She is going to a regular Kindergarten class in September.

Life at home is terrible. She is non stop moving, noise and very attention seeking. We cannot even have a conversation when she is awake. It is hard to take her places and can be very embarrasing. She is still not eating much. Every night for dinner, all she will eat is some pasta with butter and salt and some apple slices. It is like she doesn't know hunger. Then, she can get soo nasty from hunger, and I literally have to spoon feed her to get her to eat. I cannot get her to sit still and eat, but she can sit and watch a movie.. so I don't really think she is ADHD..or can she be?

She can play very nicely with other children, but she is best one on one. She has a fit and gets hysterical if another child joins the group- it's like she can't deal unless it's one on one.

When people come over our house, like today, she is a wild, attention seeker. It is very upsetting, because it makes her looks soo bad, when she isn't.

She is also displaying behaviors that I think are OCD. She has to have her room perfect before bed, Her clothes have to be perfect, and if she can't get her hair the way that she wants it, she has a fit. She also changes her clothes sveral times a day. Even when I take Brody out of his exersaucer or bouncer, she jumps up to put the seat part down- it cannot be sticking up.

Please help me, what does all of this mean??Where do we turn next??

Re: Advice please...I don't know where to turn.

first, lots of hugs. i know how you feel. in many ways, you just described hannah, my dd.

my suggestions would be to look for a new ped who specializes (if they even do) in children with attention deficit issues or other disabilities. you want to have someone to trust and if you feel your ped has been brushing you off, well then, its time to find someone who will listen.

i would also recommend getting another evaluation, maybe from a neurologist or a developmental ped. i am sure there are some on here that can recommend a few good docs. we are in the process of an independant eval for dd, and i can fm you more info ifyou would like.

lastly, please dont blame yourself or dh. i know, easier said than done! i am sure that you both are doing the best that you can for her.

Re: Advice please...I don't know where to turn.

I am in no way a professional but it sounds to me like it might be some sort of sensory processing issue. I would independently contact an OT and speak to them about maybe doing an eval.

We use Peggy Spring from Island Therapies in Deer Park... She is amazing!

Re: Advice please...I don't know where to turn.

She could have SPD and possibly ADHD. The TV thing means nothing, and many people will say if your child can watch TV without issue, there isn't a problem. They are obviously wrong. My son can sit and watch a movie just fine, but to focus on anything else is a battle when he is not on his medicine for ADHD. I would make an appt. with a neurologist to discuss it.

Hang in there

Re: Advice please...I don't know where to turn.

so many of the issues you listed seem sensory related & yes maybe a bit ocd. i'd get a developmental pediatrician, maybe talk to the psychologist at your dd's school or privately, and get a neurologist (although mine did nothing).

with watching tv, that is visually stimulating so that is why a child with attention issues can sit and watch.

being 1 on 1 may be b/c everything else is too much stimulation and she is overwhelmed and doesn't like it.

my ds is also a non-stop mover and he has sensory issues. we do a lot of activities to help him calm down but every child is different. just an example: jump on trampoline, crash into a beanbag chair, deep pressure, huge hugs, swinging, brushing, wrestling, long walks, soccer, etc. . your ot should have a sensory diet set up for her and should find what works best. this takes time and trial and error. oh and sensory seeking behavior can come across as adhd and also attention seeking. they overlap too though. again i'd talk to a professional.

with feeding, have you tried pediasure for extra caleries? i have a speech therapist work with my ds on his oral sensitivity. i always push new textures and tastes and he eats everything now just super slow. since your dd isn't gaining much weight, i'd stick with the textures she is comfortable with and try to expand from there. (i know easier said than done.) my ds is also above average with speaking but still gets the feeding therapy, maybe you can get an eval. done for that.

i know things are rough, but it will get easier.

Re: Advice please...I don't know where to turn.

I don't really have any advice, but just .

Ryan has some similar issues, so I can relate in a way. It is very tough at times to handle. I hope you find some answers soon!