Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

So let's say, visitors are leaving your home. You are telling DC "give a kiss, and say good-bye." Your mom or MIL or Aunt, etc. chimes in "say 'thank you' for the gift." Or you're at the table, and you say, "eat your dinner." and MIL or auntie, etc. chimes in, "listen to your mother, finish your dinner...."
Does this bother you too? Am I being overly criticial? I feel like, if I am right there, I don't need anyone to back up my instructions, but I don't know if I just let too many little things bother me.

Any opinions? feelings?

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

I WONDER who you are talking about?Hmmmm. haha.

I'm with you sister. DD has only one mommy she needs to listen to. I will expect her to listen to her elders (especially when I'm not around) but if I'm in the room, I want to be the only one mothering her like that.

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

My MIL was doing this to me last night and it was driving me INSANE.

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Posted by ko123

I WONDER who you are talking about?Hmmmm. haha.

I'm with you sister. DD has only one mommy she needs to listen to. I will expect her to listen to her elders (especially when I'm not around) but if I'm in the room, I want to be the only one mothering her like that.

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

i feel that way after i've aleady given the direction or reprimand and they chime in and repeat me.

i always say in a jokingly way, "one parent at a time". usually that works.

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Honestly, I don't see the big deal. I thin things like this bothered me when I had my first DS, but now I could care less. There are just bigger things to be bothered over, I try to let the little things go.

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Drives me insane. I think it only confuses DC. My older son will say something like, "mommy already told me."

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

It doesn't bother me that much- although the only one who ever really does it is my mom. And so many things about my mom bother me that I guess I have learned to overlook this one.

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Thanks for the replies. I'm glad I am not the only one. I wish I could let it go, but it probably has more to do with the actual IL's than the actions. (well my mom does it too but it's easier to tell her to quit it than them!)
So for those of you that it bothers, do you say something or suck it up and suffer? I'm looking to prepare myself for tomorrow. The only thing I've said in the past is "It confuses DS when too many people give him directions." but I'd like to arm myself with a few more.
Suggestions?

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Ill be honest - if its done repeatedly - Yes - it would annoy me. I'm her mother, you aren't - let me take care of my child.

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

yes..i hate this too!

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

doesn't bother me at all. I let my family members dicipline/direct/make judgement calls with my son all the time. when I want someting done a particular way I just chime in and tell it like it is (in a nice way lol). I don't hold anything back but give my fam a lot of freedom with my son. (i'm talkign about aunts, uncles, grandparents)

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Message edited 12/26/2010 5:49:03 PM.

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

In general-no. I expect other people to back me up and to also help my children to do the right thing. However, there are some people who do it to get under my skin or do it to undermine me and that's different. I DO mind that.

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Nah doesn't really bother me. I have a big opinionated Italian family and DH's family is pretty vocal too If I let this bother me I'd be upset 24/7 at family parties

The only thing that bothers me is when they say something that contradicts me. Like DH will reprimand DS for doing something wrong and then MIL in a sad voice will say "oh, don't yell at him, he is a good boy." THAT - Makes me NUTS

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Yes with certain individuals...

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

DS isn't old enough for this to happen yet but what bothers me is my mother mothering me about the way I parent and doing so repeatedly after I tell her that is not how I want to do things

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

It's annoying but I just try to ignore it and yeah yeah them! I get people telling me "maybe he's hungry" everytime he makes a noise even though he just ate 10 minutes ago lol and they try to tell me what he likes and wants meanwhile I obviously know what he wants because I am with him basically 24 hours a day!!

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Eh, it wouldnt bother me as long as they are backing up my instruction (takes a village and all that). I would have a problem if they chimed in things that would undermind my instruction. For example, if we were sitting at the table and I told DS to eat his dinner, I would be ****** if someone told him or me "don't force him, he doesnt have to eat". KWIM?

Re: Does it bother you - other people giving your DC directions

Yes because truthfully they use language Abby couldn't possibly understand - too many words. These are usually people who have no clue about child development. Speak to my child like a child, don't expect her to be able to do the NY Times crossword puzzle.