The woman is responsible for the housework.

If you have this point-of-view, or sort of have this point of view, or understand someone who has this point-of-view, can you please explain it to me? I'm really not trying to be snarky, I just don't understand this way of thinking.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I do not have this point of view BUT I am home at 3:30 and have a 5 minute commute. My DH gets home at 6:30-7pm and has an hour commute. During the week I do the bulk of household chores bc of this, I feel it is fair.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I feel that I am responsible for the majority of the housework because I am a SAHM and my DH works. Because of that fact I sort of feel like it's my "job" so to speak to take care of the house and our DD. KWIM?

That being said though, I absolutely expect to him to help out around here because regardless of who works and who doesn't it's his house too. I do a lot of the major stuff but he helps pick up every day, he cleans the shower, he vacuums, etc. So my DH does help out a lot but ultimately I do a lot more which I am okay with since I am a SAHM.

Message edited 1/31/2011 8:09:13 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

It really depends.

Both DH and I work FT jobs, but I get home earlier than he does so I do a majority of the housework. If he has a day off and I have to work and the dishes and laundry need to be done, he will do them.

However, if I was not working I would definitely see it as my responsibility to do the housework myself.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

i feel like most of our housework is split evenly, but there are some chores that i have to do myself because i enjoy it or just cause im so used to doing it so i think i do it better than DH. i love doing laundry, and swiffering/mopping, dusting, cleaning the kitchen counters and really just straightening up every single day when i get home. but then DH takes care of all the outside/yard stuff, he vaccuums our 2nd floor cause im pregnant and dont want to carry the vaccuum up the stairs, he cleans the bathtubs, he's much better at loading the dishwasher than me and he irons better than me.

so it's pretty much split in our house and it works for us. and i think it'll continue to be the same way even when i'm a SAHM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

No way. DH and I are equals and we both share the housework. He also does the larger share of the food shopping since he only works 4 days a week and can go on his day off to avoid the crowds. It's what works for us.

Message edited 1/31/2011 8:21:41 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I think it WAS the role of women at some point because women were SAHM. They stayed home and took care of the home and children.

I think this role is COMPLETELY OBSOLETE since most women now work. Yet are expected to do the work load a stay at home mom would do while the children are in school.

If women are working 40+ hours just their DH, then why is it the women's job to do all the house chores are home? It should be divided equally between men and women.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I am a very independent person. Not OCD but if I see something that needs to be done I do it. That means I do a lot more in the house than DH does. He doesn't have that drive. I feel that he does think I should do the majority of the work even though I work the longer hours and have the longer commute. He has a traditional mindset like that. He will do things I ask of him but it's rarely in a timely manner.

Does it irk the crap out of me...yep...is there a damn thing I can do about it..nope..so I hired a cleaning lady. After years of fighting about the housecleaning, we have someone to do it on a regular basis which means I have to do less, less often. I still do all of the laundry, pay the bills, hire contractors, and 80% of the food shopping/house maninentance shopping. There are some battles you have to pick. I think the balance is not fair but I have less stress not fighting about it.

This is life.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

The chores in the house have always been split. The only thing MIL was good for was instilling in her son that nothing is "woman's work." That being said, DH has never scrubbed our toilets or bathtub.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I do most of the work around the house in terms of cleaning and whatnot. But DH does all of the yard work and shoveling. I'm also very OCD about the inside of the house and even when DH DOES do it, I feel he doesn't do it good enough

Message edited 1/31/2011 8:34:58 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

The usual answer.. "it depends"... DW and I split most of the responsibilities. She does all the laundry, I do all the vacuuming. She does all the cooking, I do all the house repairs. For us, we just sort of picked up the tasks that we either liked, were good at, or was just easier for that person to do.

I don't think housework should be assigned by gender, or even "well, she's a SAHM, so it' her job". SAHM is just as tough, if not more, than a 9-5 job, so thinks need to be balanced. As long as both people are OK with the balance, then it's fine. If a couple is OK with the woman doing everything, and the man doing nothing, then, for them, it's balanced. If another couple alternates weeks for each task, then for them, it's balanced.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I strongly disagree with it but I don't hate on people who feel that way. I don't care who does the housework in someone else's home

Message edited 1/31/2011 8:38:52 AM.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

In my household, the woman (me) is responsible for the housework.

In my mother's household, my mother does it. In my sister's household, my sister does it. In my MIL's household, my MIL does it and so on. In some households the men are responsible for the housework. In my life, those people only live inside my computer.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I don't agree with the statement as a general rule of thumb. If that's how it works out, then that's how it works out.

Like other pp's, I have a short commute and I am home 3 hours before my DH. So yes, I do more of the inside housework. Before he became a cop and was home alot more and 2 hours before me, yes, he did more than he does now.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

It truly depends on the individual household. What works for DH and I - splitting up the chores - wouldn't work in other households for various reasons. And vice-versa.

I don't feel like just because I have a vagina means I need to be the one to do all of the household chores...that its a gender-specific role...no.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I strongly disagree with the statement.

With that said I do all the cleaning but DH does all the cooking. We fall into these rolls because DH enjoys cooking & I enjoy cleaning. However, we always help each other out.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

In my home, with my DH and I... YES it is my responsibility, although my DH has NO issues helping and often does and vacuums every day, in fact he is much more meticulous at cleaning than I am.

My DH is very handy and is not one to relax, he is always doing something around the house. I take over the housework (cleaning and most cooking) because my DH is the one mowing the lawn, shoveling the snow, fixing the broken door, working on our cars, bringing out the trash and garbage pails, hanging things on the walls. There is always something that needs to be done in the house. When he isn't doing that he is working (he frequently has to bring work home to complete). You will rarely see my DH sitting down relaxing.

We each have our own responsibilities. Im not going to go and change the oil on my car, fix the garage door, or mow and edge the lawn. I also know that if I need help, he would do it. When I was recovering from my c-section and caring for our just born baby, DH did everything because I couldn't.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

i slightly agree because the stuff the man has to do i dont want to do.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

Posted by MrsSpring

i slightly agree because the stuff the man has to do i dont want to do.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I do not agree with this and I think you will find most say they do not agree. However, I do think that it is this way in our society. A well decorated and clean home is seen as a reflection of the woman in a relationship. Even in same sex relationships, the one with more of an inclination to clean and decorate the home is normally referred to as the more feminine partner. I do not think the issue is with the fact that this is considered woman's work, since it has been this way for most of history. I think the issue is with the lowly and negative association tied to this type of work.

In relationships where all else is equal the distribution of housework should also be fairly equal or at least the couple should strive to do so. I can't stand the macho man I can't clean because I am a man mentality. To me it is just as bad as I can't change diapers because I am a man and all the other outdated chauvinistic ways of some.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I do all the household chores but he picks up after himself (for the most part). In exchange, he takes the garbage out, brings it to the curb, mows the lawn, rakes the leaves, brings the car in for oil change... all the stuff that I don't want to do. So, I would say it's even

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

I have a fairly predictable and easier schedule than my DH.. so I try to do as much as possible so that we both can enjoy time together. I honestly don't believe in the 50/50 break down.. you have to do what works for your family, not what is right because there is no right or wrong.. its what works.

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

we are all talking about housework... cleaning, laundry, making beds?


I am just curious... Are those of you of you who are disagreeing with it being "womans work" are you doing "men's work" (mowing the lawn, fixing things around the house ect...)?

Re: The woman is responsible for the housework.

wow, I shovel, take the car for maintenance, take out the garbage..

Good thing I have a landscaper too.