Potty issue - Alex is embarrased to poop at school

PLEASE tell me someone else has gone through this.

She would have accidents here and there in the past, but while we were away in Florida, and she was in "camp" there, she had two bad accidents, and she never told anyone. Apparently she was embarassed to poop at camp and more embarassed to tell anyone about it.

We came home, and now, it's starting at school. She did use the potty yesterday for pee and poop, but had a little accident and didn't tell anyone because she was embarassed.

I'm just concerned for her - it's not healthy to hold it in, nor is it healthy to sit in dirty underpants out of embarassment.

Any advice? What can I do? I already talked to her morning teacher, and I'm going to talk to her afternoon teacher today. She and I talked last night and she told me she's embarassed because her afternoon teacher is "new" and she's embarassed to ask to go poop, especially because it does seem to take her some time, and she's scared someone is going to make fun of her for taking too much time on the potty.

HELP... please!!

Re: Potty issue - Alex is embarrased to poop at school

would it help if you talked about pooping with the teacher in front of her? Maybe she is not comfortable with it because she thinks people would look down on her for pooping?

Re: Potty issue - Alex is embarrased to poop at school

I have no advice to offer, but I don't think it's that unusual. My DS goes to pre-k 3 full days a week, and he has never. ever. pooped at school. Many days the kid goes to the bathroom within a half hour of getting home. I know he's holding it in (never had an accident, I think he's just become a pro at holding it, lol!!!), and I feel bad about that because it's not healthy, but for now I don't know what to do.

My friend has a DS in kindergarten, and she doesn't think her son has ever pooped at school either-- he's another one who holds it till he gets home and then runs to go.

Re: Potty issue - Alex is embarrased to poop at school

My son won't go at school, either. He hasn't had any accidents yet, but he's definitely holding it. It's really not unusual.

Maybe you can give her extra time in the bathroom in the mornings before school to try to go. It can be scheduled although obviously sometimes it happens at different times.

Perhaps you can ask the afternoon teacher to privately remind your child to use the bathroom in the afternoons?

Re: Potty issue - Alex is embarrased to poop at school

Try this book Everybody Poops


Damien did the same thing. He would hold it in everyday till he got home from school. His issue was that he needed me or DH to wipe his butt. His got quite the booty so he's not the best wiper He will go on occasion at school if he really has to go, but for the most part he has trained his body to go at the same time. I wish I had better advice

Re: Potty issue - Alex is embarrased to poop at school

You can try doing certain times on the toilet at home so she can at least try to get it out there if she cannot be coaxed at the moment. My son had this issue - still does although he seems to be finally accepting *insert crossed fingers of hope* that it's fine to do it other places. But it's been a long road of undoing the withholding issue. So in the absense of finding the magic words to make her comfortable doing it at school, you can have her sit on the toilet for 5 min in the AM, 5 min after school & 5 min after dinner. It can sort of train her bowels to go at those times. Also you can try rewards, if she goes at school she gets to pick a reward (extra 15 min staying up late, trip to ice cream parlor, etc. something small but that she will love)

HTH

Re: Potty issue - Alex is embarrased to poop at school

This isn't an uncommon issue-I teach Kindergarten and have had several students with similar bathroom issues. On one occasion we actually allowed the child to go to the nurse to use her bathroom b/c it was more private and less pressure for the student. Is that a possibliity? We actually just established a hand signal, so the child didn't have to ask in front of everyone and my assistant brought them down to the nurse.

Re: Potty issue - Alex is embarrased to poop at school

Dd just told me the other day she holds in her poop all day because the bathroom in her classroom is dusty, dirty, and has big bugs

Re: Potty issue - Alex is embarrased to poop at school

it is a tremendous releif to know this is somewhat normal behavior - thank you everyone!

I've decided to just totally back off the issue entirely and not make a big deal out of it. When she has an accident, I just shrug, say it's ok, everyone has accidents, and move on. And I've made a distinct effort to talk more about bodily functions and about when I or DH have to use the bathroom, so she doesen't see it as a taboo issue.

Thanks everyone!