Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

I am not sure that I can put it into words...

I guess I'm wondering if you actually mourn the passage of time? And I don't mean in that new parent with one kid way, "I can't believe she's a month already! I wish it would slow down!" I mean in that stabbing ache in your chest way when you look at your oldest and she's already lost 1% of her innocence with about 95% of her babyfat.

I never realized until my little one was born almost 10 months ago how FAST time slips by. My girls were so close in age that I was in a diaper/bottle/naptime groove for four years. Then I had a break from that. And when I jumped back in I realized how quickly they had grown and how far removed they were from their baby brother. Two days after we brought the little one home, my younger DD dressed as Spiderman with Minnie Mouse shoes for Halloween and I just couldn't stop staring at her wanting to absorb every second of it knowing that in a few short years she wouldn't be caught dead in that.

Ever since that moment, I can't let a milestone pass by without really mourning it. K finished camp yesterday and I was emotional...what's wrong with me?! It didn't help that they burned a photo montage set to music for us all. You could show scenes of people on the toilet over "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by that Hawaiian guy and I'd be bawling though, so maybe it's unfair to include that anecdote. My middle gal will be starting PreK full-time in three weeks and I just can't...

{DISCLAIMER: If you told me I'd be living the rest of my life with a 5 and a 4 year old and a 9.5 month old, I WOULD kill myself.} But...

Is anyone else much too sentimental for all of this?

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

You just about took the words out of my mouth


Yes 100% of all you said.....

And what kills me the most sometimes , is that my oldest DS (almost 6) really tries my patience these days and I feel like I am wasting a lot of my days with him reprimanding ...It literally makes me "ill"....I try so hard just to tell myself that one day I will miss all his little antics that currently drive me crazy and to try to embrace them, but its so hard (especially given that I have my other 2 LO's to tend to)

I look at him sleeping and well up...I look at his hands and they really get to me....They are no longer chubby baby hands

You are NOT alone

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Absolutely. Lately I have been excited for her to start kindergarten, 1 because its exciting, and 2 because I need the break. But now that there is only 2 weeks left, I am so sad, I keep saying I wish we could have done more this summer, I am going to miss having her around me all the time. It is totally bittersweet.

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Yes 100%
It hits me at the oddest times. Yesterday as he was getting on the bus to camp. He stoped turned and yelled goodby Mom as he waved and my heart swelled.
He is 8 - In 2 years will he be like the 5th graders getting on the bus that wont even look at thier parents nevermind say goodby as they board?
There are times that I think I will burst.

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

YEs word for word how you are feeling. I am already a complete mess thinking about DD starting kindergarten - I wake up most days with a heavy feeling as I know the day is looming and I know I am going to be a mess and I know from when she started pre school and Pre k that it lasts for a long time with me...I just hate not being able to see her all day

I was sitting on a bench in town the other day with my two kids - 5 and just turned 2 and they were sitting there eating ice cream and a group of older ladies walked by and one of them said " Oh I wish mine were still that age...it went by so quick" and her friend patted her on the arm and I was so glad I was wearing my sunglasses as I started to well up really bad and had to try hard to compose myself as I felt like getting on my knees and bawling right there on the street as I know that will be me one day.

I cannot discuss this with my DH as he lives for the day and does not worry about the future or them growing up so its nice to know there are other sentimental moms like me out there. Thanks for posting

Message edited 8/19/2011 3:07:59 PM.

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

My baby is starting Kindergarten in 2 weeks, I feel like a part of me is dying inside

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

don't start me down an emotional roller coaster - I'm 39 weeks pregnant!


I was sorting through some old photos and while my heart was aching at the cute pictures, I try to not dwell on the past, but embrace the present.


DH works from home right now and has had 3 offers come to him for more money - but only 2 days at home. We both say that this is the time for him to be home with the kids...while they like us. lol

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Posted by Bops

You just about took the words out of my mouth


Yes 100% of all you said.....

And what kills me the most sometimes , is that my oldest DS (almost 6) really tries my patience these days and I feel like I am wasting a lot of my days with him reprimanding ...It literally makes me "ill"....I try so hard just to tell myself that one day I will miss all his little antics that currently drive me crazy and to try to embrace them, but its so hard (especially given that I have my other 2 LO's to tend to)

I look at him sleeping and well up...I look at his hands and they really get to me....They are no longer chubby baby hands

You are NOT alone

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Not after going school shopping with them---

But yes, I know what you mean. We took out the old video camera a few weeks ago and couldn't believe how small they were.

It does go by fast even though some days it feels like forever.

While I enjoy them being older and doing more things with them, I also miss when they were younger.

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Yes.

Robbie specifically makes me catch my breath sometimes.

he is only 10 but I have noticed the baby fat is gone and he is heavier - not fat just thicker and less ethereal. He is becoming something more than my little boy. He has weight to him now. And the landscape of his face has changed - i can see planes and hollows that weren't there just a few years ago.

All of these changes are just the outside echoing what's happening inside. He's questioning me now. I can see the blind faith in my judgement faltering. He has more independent thought, he likes his own things - his own music, his own foods.

He doesn't like me to kiss him in front of his friends - and he wants to walk through parking lots without holding my hand.

And it makes me ache.

But that baby is still in there. You catch glimpses every now and then. A twitch of his nose, a glance of uncertainty now and again. And the prize.. the hug. When he is especially pleased with me - I've bought him something he likes, I've given him great news, I've tickled his funny bone - he'll still give me that great big hug around my middle because even though he comes up to my chin he is STILL smaller than me. And when he's frightened - I'm still his number one choice. He will seek me out and push himself up against me - pretending he's not REALLY afraid. And sometimes - rarely - when the day is still dawning and we are the first ones up in the house.. he will crawl up into my lap like a little baby and drape himself over me and let me breathe in the scent of the top of his head. And he still smells like outside - like dirt and soap and freshly mowed grass and chlorine from the pool and he's my baby for just a few more moments before the sun rises higher and he's off and running. And I know it won't last forever because he's on his way to something bigger and better than cuddling me.

I see it already - I see my boy in the shadows of high school kids laughing on Main street.. I see him in the eyes of the college boys checking out girls at the local pub... I see him in movements of a new dad holding his own baby child. I know this childhood is waning and as much as I long to hold onto it I know I am not raising a little boy, I am raising a man. Two men in fact. I know that one day they will have careers and lives and families of their own.

But if I do it right I will still be important and I will get to be a part of those lives for the rest of mine.

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Okay Rojerono you sent me over the edge, that was so beautifully written and so poignant

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Posted by beachgirl

Okay Rojerono you sent me over the edge, that was so beautifully written and so poignant

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Posted by Bops

Posted by beachgirl

Okay Rojerono you sent me over the edge, that was so beautifully written and so poignant

What she said

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Im much more or a lurker then a poster but this thread just had me crying in my coffee. I have a 12 year old and almost 11 year old. My 12 year old is taller then me by quite a few inches and if you look at him from the back looks like a grown man. hes very broad etc.....i was trying to explain to my friends how much this tugs on my heart and none of them seemed to understand. it all goes way to fast

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

OMG Rojerono you just sent me over the edge. My 2 year old is sitting next to me on the couch, saying, it okay mommy, it okay and hugging me.

I just wish time would slow down. My older one is starting PK in a few weeks & my little guy is potty training. Up until a few months ago we thought we may go down the route of having a 3rd so I kind of let the early days slip by w/ my son. Now I feel like time is speeding by.

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

thank you guys.

Posted by nycchic24

This has got to be one of the most BEAUTIFUL things I have ever read. Your feelings made me catch my breath and I have tears streaming down my face. Print this out and save it for his wedding day. Absolutely amazing.

Message edited 8/20/2011 9:17:05 AM.

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

I feel like that a lot. Actually, I can't even read this whole thread because it makes me cry every time I try.
Sometimes I feel like it's worse because I only have one.

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Posted by cantbelieveit

Absolutely. Lately I have been excited for her to start kindergarten, 1 because its exciting, and 2 because I need the break. But now that there is only 2 weeks left, I am so sad, I keep saying I wish we could have done more this summer, I am going to miss having her around me all the time. It is totally bittersweet.

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

I just posted something like this on facebook.

I was so impressed with my son this year on vacation - he was jumping into the waves, no fear. He could play the games by himself and handle it when he DIDN'T win.

I was so excited to upload my photos and when I went to organize them I place them in the "Beach Vacations" folder and noticed that I had taken some of the exact same shots over the last 3 years.

To see the picture of him holding my dad's hand walking down to the water when he was 2, versus now at 4 made me cry for almost an hour.

I just couldn't get over it. How much he's grown and although I've taken approximately 4 billion pictures of him and try to enjoy him as much as I can I still felt this pang of "how did I miss him changing?"

I wanted to crawl into bed with him and then take off today and do something fun.

I think sometimes it feels worse for me because I also measure things in how long DH has been gone.

Logan's almost lived more of his life without Scott than with him.

But after reading what some of you have posted I think it's just normal motherhood "stuff"

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Posted by Bops

You just about took the words out of my mouth


Yes 100% of all you said.....

And what kills me the most sometimes , is that my oldest DS (almost 6) really tries my patience these days and I feel like I am wasting a lot of my days with him reprimanding ...It literally makes me "ill"....I try so hard just to tell myself that one day I will miss all his little antics that currently drive me crazy and to try to embrace them, but its so hard (especially given that I have my other 2 LO's to tend to)

I look at him sleeping and well up...I look at his hands and they really get to me....They are no longer chubby baby hands

You are NOT alone

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

All of this is so true. I always remember a mom with grown children saying "The days are long, but the years are short."

This is how it feels to me and I try to cherish it even when all three of them are running around the supermarket, climnbing in and out of the cart and grabbing things from the aisles...as the older woman catches my eye and smiles & laughs at how hard but how sweet it is.

Re: Do you ever feel like parenting is too bittersweet for you to handle?

Posted by jennyg

All of this is so true. I always remember a mom with grown children saying "The days are long, but the years are short."

This quote is PERFECT.