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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
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Message edited 4/14/2012 8:03:03 PM.
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Posted 12/2/11 11:42 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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bpmom
Feeling Blessed
Member since 6/07 2963 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
I think three showers for three children is excessive, but that's JMO....
My neighbor had a 2nd DD six years after #1 and I thought she needed a shower -- her mom politely declined saying she felt it was improper to ask people to give her another set of gifts just because she decided to space out her children. We ended up having a "Pink Sprinkle" for her and we kept it very casual and simple. Maybe you can suggest something small and intimate -- but do so politely?
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| Posted 12/2/11 11:55 PM |
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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
Posted by bdmom
I think three showers for three children is excessive, but that's JMO....
My neighbor had a 2nd DD six years after #1 and I thought she needed a shower -- her mom politely declined saying she felt it was improper to ask people to give her another set of gifts just because she decided to space out her children. We ended up having a "Pink Sprinkle" for her and we kept it very casual and simple. Maybe you can suggest something small and intimate -- but do so politely?
Yes I am afraid it will come off as rude.
I was thinking of suggesting a nice tea place or something along those lines that will be nicer for people who are spending their day coming out for a shower...
I know some won't come if they don't want to, but let's face it, there are some who would feel obligated.
I do understand when there are many years between kids, and I don't have a problem with "sprinkles" usually for a second kid.
Message edited 4/14/2012 8:04:02 PM.
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| Posted 12/3/11 12:02 AM |
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mosa77
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 2122 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
I think a shower/sprinkle is nice to have for each baby I think each baby should be celebrated but maybe a small lunch at someones house with smaller gifts that she may need like clothes or bottles but i wouldnt make a registry for it and wouldnt go crazy inviting a bunch of people like I would for a first baby shower.....is she having a child of a different gender that maybe she needs new stuff for ?
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| Posted 12/3/11 12:19 AM |
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MrsSx2
Finally a MOM!
Member since 11/10 2222 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
ITA with you.
3 seems excessive to me (I am even on the fence about two showers for people...depends on the situation). I do think every child should be celebrated, but I dont think a whole 3rd shower is appropriate. To me, it would make more sense having a gathering of friends and family after the child is born...without having the mother of the baby register. People will bring her gifts anyway.
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| Posted 12/3/11 12:28 AM |
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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
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Message edited 12/4/2011 9:15:40 PM.
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| Posted 12/3/11 12:33 AM |
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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
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Message edited 4/14/2012 8:04:20 PM.
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| Posted 12/3/11 12:34 AM |
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sunni2552
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/07 516 total posts
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
we have friends who have 3 children 10,6 and 1 and she has a full on shower for each child complete with registry....the last one was at lands end...
i do think its too much, yes i go to them but i think it is a little pushy- we are very close to this couple and would buy a generous gift for each child regardless
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| Posted 12/3/11 3:19 AM |
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cinnabon
Complete..
Member since 6/10 1592 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
Posted by mosa77
I think a shower/sprinkle is nice to have for each baby I think each baby should be celebrated but maybe a small lunch at someones house with smaller gifts that she may need like clothes or bottles but i wouldnt make a registry for it and wouldnt go crazy inviting a bunch of people like I would for a first baby shower.....is she having a child of a different gender that maybe she needs new stuff for ?
I agree with this....maybe a small gathering.
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| Posted 12/3/11 7:06 AM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
Posted by bdmom
I think three showers for three children is excessive, but that's JMO....
My neighbor had a 2nd DD six years after #1 and I thought she needed a shower -- her mom politely declined saying she felt it was improper to ask people to give her another set of gifts just because she decided to space out her children. We ended up having a "Pink Sprinkle" for her and we kept it very casual and simple. Maybe you can suggest something small and intimate -- but do so politely?
ITA!!!!
For some reason, lots of people seem to be having a 2nd baby shower. IMO i think that's a bit much and i don't like it. Especially when i spent tons of $$ on the 1st one (case in point, my SIL) who said she wanted new stuff. Ridiculous!
So no... i would be turned off to a 3rd baby shower as well and probably wouldn't go.
I think a sprinkle is okay for the 2nd. To have anything at all for the 3rd... no. Just looks greedy to me.
ETA: i should add that if there are any unordinary circumstances... then okay. But if the person just wants new stuff, knew they were having more kids and gave their stuff away, etc... then no not a fan. All of these things cost a lot of money. If they wanted more kids and they gave their stuff away... then that makes me feel like i wasted my money the first time around. 
Message edited 12/3/2011 8:10:00 AM.
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| Posted 12/3/11 7:40 AM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
My mom gave me a 3rd shower, this baby was a total surprise and I gave everything away to friends from my other pregnancies, my DD is 6 and my son is 3 1/2, so I did need new things. My shower was small only very close friends and family. I don't think theres anything wrong in celebrating each birth, if you don't like it then don't go!
ETA: I had a registry too, with somethings on it that I really needed!
Message edited 12/3/2011 8:01:01 AM.
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| Posted 12/3/11 7:59 AM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
I think if she kept it REALLY small, it would be ok. But, another full blown shower is not necessary IMO. I'm on my third, and there's nothing I need. But I didn't throw anything out. So I don't know. If she got rid of everything, I guess it would be nice to do.
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| Posted 12/3/11 8:56 AM |
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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
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Message edited 4/14/2012 8:04:40 PM.
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| Posted 12/3/11 8:59 AM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
I understand what your saying, but you don't have to get her anything on her registry its up to you what you want to give her, not everyone at my 3rd shower gave me stuff off my registry and that was fine, My IL's and parents got me the big stuff I needed. I also did a registry to get a percentage off of the things I need since its was so $$. You get what you can afford, its not your shower its hers and its what she wanted, I wouldn't be upset with any of my close friend if they wanted to have 2 or more showers. Its your decision to go or not, and buy what you want to give her! I really wouldn't let it bother you, its not your shower your just hosting it, and that alone is like a gift!
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| Posted 12/3/11 10:12 AM |
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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
Posted by MelToddJulia
I understand what your saying, but you don't have to get her anything on her registry its up to you what you want to give her, not everyone at my 3rd shower gave me stuff off my registry and that was fine, My IL's and parents got me the big stuff I needed. I also did a registry to get a percentage off of the things I need since its was so $$. You get what you can afford, its not your shower its hers and its what she wanted, I wouldn't be upset with any of my close friend if they wanted to have 2 or more showers. Its your decision to go or not, and buy what you want to give her! I really wouldn't let it bother you, its not your shower your just hosting it, and that alone is like a gift!
Oh I don't know if it's what SHE wants... Her sister wants to throw it for her, but at MY house, so I'd have to go.
If it was anyone else I most definitely would
NOT go and not give a crap. I am not mad at her, or anyone.
She did register I know to get the discount.
This is someone I'd give a generous gift to anyway when the baby was born.
Again I'm all for celebrating.
Maybe it would be ok to do a luncheon but not stick a registry list In the invite even write "no gifts" on the invite.. Of course I'm sure some would bring one anyway, but there is less pressure.
If they rsvp'd and said they wanted to bring something the registry info could be provided.
Message edited 4/14/2012 8:05:59 PM.
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| Posted 12/3/11 10:38 AM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
Well I don't think its fair to say that people who have 3rd showers have "poor taste" I had one so I'm a little offended by that comment. My mom wanted to have a small party at her house for me, and I figured to start a registry just to get some of the main things we needed for the baby, its wasn't a 20 page registry just a few things, and like I said not everyone got me things off of it, they got me what they wanted to get me. I was also so thankful for what I got, registry or not.
Your not the one asking people for gifts SHE is! So there is nothing to feel uncomfortable about, if you don't want to get involved with it tell her sister you would rather not host it at your house. I just dont see the big deal in doing something for a friend even if you don't agree with it, this is her party anyway!
There are a lot of things I don't agree with that others do, but its not my place to tell them, everyone is going to what they want even if its different from how you feel about it.
You having the party at your house for her is like a gift anyway, so there is no need for one and you can just wait till her baby is born to give her a gift.
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| Posted 12/3/11 11:04 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
I don't think i'd ever have a 3rd shower but I totally agree with this:
Posted by MelToddJulia
Your not the one asking people for gifts SHE is! So there is nothing to feel uncomfortable about, if you don't want to get involved with it tell her sister you would rather not host it at your house. I just dont see the big deal in doing something for a friend even if you don't agree with it, this is her party anyway!
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| Posted 12/3/11 11:25 AM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
Posted by headoverheels
I don't think i'd ever have a 3rd shower but I totally agree with this:
Posted by MelToddJulia
Your not the one asking people for gifts SHE is! So there is nothing to feel uncomfortable about, if you don't want to get involved with it tell her sister you would rather not host it at your house. I just dont see the big deal in doing something for a friend even if you don't agree with it, this is her party anyway!
Ita with this as well. We had a sprinkle for my sisters third. She was having a girl after 2 boys so she got a lot of pink stuff. My family had a sprinkle for me with my second and I was team green.
If I were asked to host a shower, I'd do it and just keep my mouth shut.
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| Posted 12/3/11 1:34 PM |
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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
Posted by saraH
Posted by headoverheels
I don't think i'd ever have a 3rd shower but I totally agree with this:
Posted by MelToddJulia
Your not the one asking people for gifts SHE is! So there is nothing to feel uncomfortable about, if you don't want to get involved with it tell her sister you would rather not host it at your house. I just dont see the big deal in doing something for a friend even if you don't agree with it, this is her party anyway!
Ita with this as well. We had a sprinkle for my sisters third. She was having a girl after 2 boys so she got a lot of pink stuff. My family had a sprinkle for me with my second and I was team green.
If I were asked to host a shower, I'd do it and just keep my mouth shut.
I guess that's because you had one and you don't mind going to multiple showers.
The consensus amongst our friends is different, maybe because we all have 2-4 kids... That's a lot of showers! Not to mention christenings, etc.
I am not the type of person to do something if I don't agree with it and "keep my mouth shut". Good for you though if you can.
Anyway, problem solved... I told her I couldn't do it and I tried to suggest a place, but they decided against it after getting negative feedback.
I do want to add that My friend has in fact complained, in the past, about going to a second shower for someone else.
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| Posted 12/3/11 2:08 PM |
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WenRC
Happiness is...
Member since 4/11 1253 total posts
Name:
Wendy
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
Last yr, was once invited to a shower less than 2 yrs after the previous child/shower. This person had more than 2 kids. I politely declined and kept my opinion to myself (I, too thought it was kind of tacky).
But, If I were to be put in your position; I would'nt voice my opinion because it may not be well received. However, If you feel uncomfortable hosting it, then say so.
ETA: between all the weddings/showers, birthdays, and holidays and my own wedding..things were getting pretty expensive that yr.
Message edited 12/3/2011 2:14:44 PM.
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| Posted 12/3/11 2:13 PM |
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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
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Message edited 4/14/2012 8:06:37 PM.
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| Posted 12/3/11 2:28 PM |
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ARIELSMOM
Love my Babes
Member since 8/05 5889 total posts
Name:
MEREDITH
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
i had 3 baby showers. there was a seven year difference between my first and second ( and different sexes), there was only 19 months between my 2 & 3rd. the 3rd was dont completely at my friends will, it was small, at my friends house. It was very nice to have the girls together, and to share our excitement. So im not opposed to sprinkles for subsequesnt pregnancies.
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| Posted 12/3/11 8:07 PM |
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labonnevie
sometimes 1+1= 4 <3
Member since 8/09 3869 total posts
Name:
the lucky one
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
I think a sprinkle that is thrown for you is okay. When I get pregnant with my second (my DD is currently 20mos) and IF my mother/friend/anyone wants to throw me a sprinkle on their own accord, (I WOULD NEVER ASK FOR ONE) I really don't think I'd register. Money is tight for us, but when we choose to have another child, that's MY cost. Also, at my hypothetical sprinkle, I would just want it to be to celebrate the new baby and I would accept any gift that someone may or may not have brought.
Again, I am not opposed to sprinkles, IF someone offers to host one for you.
So, to the OP, I agree with you. I would have done the same thing and said sorry, I can't host the party.
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| Posted 12/3/11 8:57 PM |
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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one please (3rd baby shower)
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Message edited 4/14/2012 8:07:03 PM.
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| Posted 12/4/11 12:08 AM |
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MrsMo
LIF Infant
Member since 9/11 218 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one please
Posted by MelToddJulia
My mom gave me a 3rd shower, this baby was a total surprise and I gave everything away to friends from my other pregnancies, my DD is 6 and my son is 3 1/2, so I did need new things. My shower was small only very close friends and family. I don't think theres anything wrong in celebrating each birth, if you don't like it then don't go!
ETA: I had a registry too, with somethings on it that I really needed!
ITA! I dont understand why ppl get so offended about having showers for subsequent pregnancies, especially when others throw it for u. Of course i dont see the point in it being as extravagant as the first, but the bottom line is that you will always need new things for new babies so why not. I actually grew up accustomed to showers for every baby.The norm in my culture
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| Posted 12/5/11 9:58 AM |
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