just a ball of sadness

i know the typical, "everytime is different" and " think good thoughts" and all that jazz but i just cant.

got my bfp almost a month ago and was succesaful in almost completely blocking it out. last time i was nervouse it would be ecptopic, not sure why, but was worried everyday. turns out i was wrong but had MC anyway.

this time i hace ZERO symptoms. boobs not sore and they are huge and hurt like a B last time. I have no MS at all, and my energy level is way higher than last time.

i tried to block it all out saying worrying wouldnt do anything but yesterday i just got so extremely sad. Like i know i will go to the dr in a week and it will be mad. I just know it. some people "just know" when they are pg, and i just know this will be bad.

i believe I will be strong enough to go thorugh this and a d/c again, i mean i have to... but i dont know that i can handle the aftermath. the testing, wodering if it will ever happen. hating myself everyday.

how do you girls stay so strong and positive. how do you not cry every day?

just a ball of sadness

It's not easy. I understand what you are feeling, after experiencing my losses I fell like I have been robbed. I will worry the entire time if it happens again for us.
Just try and stay positive. I know it's almost impossible but let yourself dream a little.

just a ball of sadness

I know it's so difficult to stay posiitive. After a loss, your mind just automatically goes to the worst.
I had a mc in March of last year and found out I was pregnant again in September. I didn't let myself "believe" I was pregnant until I saw the heartbeat and when I did, I started hysterically crying, almost in disbelief. It's rough...

Re: just a ball of sadness

it makes sense how your feeling. it must be very scary. i guess every milestone will make you feel more confident. good luck with your dr. appointment next week. fingers crossed that everything is good.