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Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
My child was a victim of bullying on the bus by an older boy who was supposed to be separated from everyone else because he had shown his penis to a kindergartener earlier this year. Well someone wasn't following the rules and some way my son was allowed to sit with him and to make a long story short he basically held my son down, sat on his face and pulled his pants down to look at his underwear.
Obviously I was horrified as was my child. I flat out refuse to let Teddy ride the bus anymore, and I am catching a ton of flack for it. People are telling me that I am not teaching him to defend himself, or that I am making him a mama's boy! WWYD?
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Posted 12/9/12 11:24 AM  |
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KangaMom
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Member since 1/06 4593 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
First of all  to you and your son for having to deal with this.
Quite disgusting what that boy is doing  He is the one that ought to not be on the bus harassing others! I would keep complaining to whomever will listen, school, bus company, etc.. No one deserves his indecent behavior.
That said I would do anything to protect my children and since the harassment didn't stop I would drive them in myself 
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| Posted 12/9/12 11:30 AM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
I would call the Superintendent ASAP and the news! That is Bull and I wouldn't let some little punk get away with it!
I understand where you are coming from by wanting to protect your child, but having him not take the bus, doesn't solve the bigger problem of this other child.
What needs to happen is that the disturbed child needs to find alternate transportation to the school!
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| Posted 12/9/12 12:05 PM |
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
Oh, wow. I'm sorry!
I don't think you're wrong at all. This other child obviously has some issues. I would go with your gut on this one. I think this goes beyond defending yourself.
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| Posted 12/9/12 12:07 PM |
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Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
You're not wrong at all- but you should be lobbying for this other kid to be removed from the bus. Your son did nothing wrong and you shouldn't be inconvenienced.
If I were you, I would talk to other parents. I bet he's done this to other kids. We had a similar situation on my daughter's bus- someone bit her, pulled her friend's hair, and tried to pull down the pants of another friend. These were just the kids from our stop. Then I became friendly with another mom whose daughter rides the bus to a different stop, and her daughter was also bitten. This child now has to sit in the front and we call if we don't see her there.
I can't believe a kid can show his penis to a younger kid and is still allowed on the bus. The district is really asking for trouble with him.
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| Posted 12/9/12 12:20 PM |
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
I have spoken with the superintendent, principle and department of transportation. I am still unsure as to what his consequences for this incident were...since no one has told me. And I was so infuriated at the school I could scream. I feel like I am at a dead end because they can't give me any other information about what has happened with this child, weather he is on the bus or not, since it now boils down to the department of transportation and the superintendent. And I agree if they keep this kid on the bus any longer they will be looking at BIG trouble.
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| Posted 12/9/12 12:37 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
I would be beyond livid and make a huge stink. The child who pulled your son's pants off should not be allowed on the bus. Your child should not be the one punished here. I would threaten to sue the school (not that I would sue, but I would threaten to sue) to get them to do something. I would go to the PTA meeting and tell the other parents what happened. There is no way they should allow this to happen again. This child has a pattern of abuse towards other kids. He needs to be helped and I really wonder what is going on at home for him.
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| Posted 12/9/12 1:28 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
I don't think there is a right or wrong here on what you decide to do with your son.
If you're asking what I would do, I would raise holy freaking hell enough to make someone drive that punk ass kid to school or have him sit next to a monitor...but would get my child back on the bus asap.
My reasoning is that the school bus is part of the socializing, part of what you do when you go to school. I wouldn't want him to be fearful of the bus. I would want to empower him with the knowledge that what was done to him was wrong. I agree it was wrong & so does the school. I'd also want to send the message that the school has a responsibility to make sure that he is safe.
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| Posted 12/9/12 1:33 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
Posted by CookieMomster
I have spoken with the superintendent, principle and department of transportation. I am still unsure as to what his consequences for this incident were...since no one has told me. And I was so infuriated at the school I could scream. I feel like I am at a dead end because they can't give me any other information about what has happened with this child, weather he is on the bus or not, since it now boils down to the department of transportation and the superintendent. And I agree if they keep this kid on the bus any longer they will be looking at BIG trouble.
Have you written a letter? I know I posted the letter I wrote on the FB group. Do you want me to write one for you? I'd threaten legal action & if they didn't do anything about it, I'd navigate my way through the system to make sure they knew I mean business.
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| Posted 12/9/12 1:35 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
Posted by nrthshgrl
I don't think there is a right or wrong here on what you decide to do with your son.
If you're asking what I would do, I would raise holy freaking hell enough to make someone drive that punk ass kid to school or have him sit next to a monitor...but would get my child back on the bus asap.
My reasoning is that the school bus is part of the socializing, part of what you do when you go to school. I wouldn't want him to be fearful of the bus. I would want to empower him with the knowledge that what was done to him was wrong. I agree it was wrong & so does the school. I'd also want to send the message that the school has a responsibility to make sure that he is safe.
Totally agree!
By removing your son from the bus, the bully has essentially won. You are the only one being inconvenienced by this. I would get your son back on that bus so the school knows you mean business and you aren't just going to drive him every day like nothing happened and that they can sweep it under the rug.
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| Posted 12/9/12 2:48 PM |
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Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
I would be going after his parents. Let THEM drive him to school. Pulling down another child's pants is awful. I feel so bad for your dc, and I would want to drive him as well. Please try to get that kid off the bus for your sake. Call the principal if younhave to!
Many To your ds
Message edited 12/9/2012 7:19:12 PM.
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| Posted 12/9/12 7:18 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
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Janice
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Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
high 5 to you.
Kids are beasts these days. This whole thing is out of control. The school already messed up once by allowing this little animal back on the bus.
you cannot trust the situation. I wouldn't.
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| Posted 12/9/12 9:16 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
Posted by CookieMomster
I have spoken with the superintendent, principle and department of transportation. I am still unsure as to what his consequences for this incident were...since no one has told me. And I was so infuriated at the school I could scream. I feel like I am at a dead end because they can't give me any other information about what has happened with this child, weather he is on the bus or not, since it now boils down to the department of transportation and the superintendent. And I agree if they keep this kid on the bus any longer they will be looking at BIG trouble.
your son comes out the winner.
he came home, reported it to you...you did everything you could-including making him feel secure when starting his school day.
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| Posted 12/9/12 9:23 PM |
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
It's less of a problem to drive him to be perfectly honest...the bus is consistently late, and I have to wait anywhere between 10-15 minutes where as the school is so close I can just drop him. And trust me our principal was MORE than aware of the fact that I was not letting this be swept under the rug, I call and email bi-weekly for updates on what is going on since this happened. (I call them send an email verifying what was said during the phone call, to keep a timeline) I have also written letters to them (Yes Barb I did use that letter, I just edited it to fit MY situation). I have been in contact with the parents of the other boy that he victimized. They are planning on sending letters/emails as well as to why he's on the bus at all. I should also add this was not the 1st incident with Teddy and this boy...earlier this year he took Teddy's back pack and ran down the bus with it, and hid it. Teddy went back and got it and told him not to do it again. He used to smack the Kindergarteners in the back of the head as he walked back to the back of the bus, I never saw any of it as a direct problem with Teddy. And Teddy always handled it on his own, I encouraged him too. However the moment he held him down and pulled down his pants was the burning of the bridge for me. Where was the bus driver? He sits right across from her, a little further back and she saw NOTHING? And Teddy was punching and kicking him to get him off of him. And the principle recommended I put him back on the bus and I flat out refused and told her "You can't protect him, that's obvious, you let predators in the making sit up front with the BABIES of the school, and a bus driver who could give a shit less. When My son told the bus driver her response was to "TELL HIS MOTHER". No way do I trust my son being driven nor watched by them, and their only saving grace was the sweetest teacher in the world who when she heard knew just what Teddy needed from school and provided it." Trust me it's not going away and I think they are starting to realize that.
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| Posted 12/9/12 10:33 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
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A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
Removing your child from the bus is NOT the answer, removing the insane kid who is terrorizing other children IS!
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| Posted 12/9/12 11:17 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
I don't think you're wrong for not wanting him to ride. There's no "winning" or "losing"-- if it's not this kid causing a problem, it will be inevitably be another down the line. Honestly, in a vehicle full of mixed-age kids, where the adult in charge is focused on driving... it's a problem waiting to happen.
I choose to drive because for me and my lifestyle, it's easier than waiting for a bus-- I am a SAHM... I drop my kid (or kids, if it's a preschool day for younger DC) at school, then head right to Target, supermarket, bank, whatever errand is planned for that morning. In my older child's class, I would say maybe half the kids take the bus, and the other half are car riders-- he is certainly not missing out on some key social scene 
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| Posted 12/10/12 3:24 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
I think you have to follow your gut on this one. The school has not shown great support for your son on this issue, so if after all the emails, calls, letters, etc. you still feel he is unsafe, take him off the bus. I am all for removing the other kid, so all the kids are safer, but in the end, I am most concerned about MY kid.
I walked to school every day for 8 years of elementary school and I don't feel like I missed out on anything by not riding on a school bus. I did ride the bus in HS for 4 years.
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| Posted 12/10/12 3:48 PM |
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
You should not HAVE to remove your child from the bus but if the school refuses to remove the other child then I do think that it is the right thing. Your child will have many other opportunities to "grow a a person" in non-dangerous places.
Message edited 12/12/2012 3:27:14 PM.
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| Posted 12/10/12 5:18 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
I don't think you are wrong, because I too drive my child everyday. Just not a fan of the bus and behavior on it in general, especially since there is 1 drive and 60 kids. I know I can barely play referee to my own kids when I'm driving, and I only have two! My child gets plenty of socialization at school on recess and lunch, etc., so we don't need the bus for that.
I would however keep on pushing to have that child removed from the bus. It's ridiculous that he hasn't been already. Especially since there is the potential for him to victimize other children. The bus is a privilege, not a right IMO!
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| Posted 12/12/12 11:08 AM |
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ap123
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 268 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong for not letting my child ride the bus....
That is horrible, your poor child.
I'm probably a bit over the top, but I would have a lawyer dealing with the board of ed. It's one thing for a kid to get punched or kicked, pants pulled down..that's far worse.
I wouldn't put my child back on the bus until i felt it was safe. Meaning that bully has a one on one aid, or is off the bus.
School taxes are high enough that the district should be accountable to you for your little ones safety.
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| Posted 12/12/12 8:41 PM |
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