how do you know you are ready?

Does it really just click when you know you are ready for #2 (or more)? I feel that's how it worked when I was ready to TTC DD. Sometimes I feel like I don't think I can handle another baby which breaks my heart because I though I'd have 3. Sometimes I feel like I may be one and done. DD isn't even 5 months yet but I just can't even imagine having another baby anytime soon which I also thought we'd have them close together. I also feel like things have change alot within our relationship. I guess I'm just venting but I'm curious what changes you ladies went through, how you got through them and if anything factored into having more children. TIA.

how do you know you are ready?

I always knew that I wanted my kids to be close in age. My girls are 19 months apart. I love the fact that they are going to be soo close growing up. And I found 2 to be easier than having 1.

Re: how do you know you are ready?

I've been ready for a few months. I have my moments when I freak out about taking care of two but it I would love to give tiny tot a sibling. If it doesn't happen I'll be happy with my family

Our relationship has changed too but not like I thought. I always thought he would forget about me and focus on her but as it turns out I'm doing it I'm working on it

Re: how do you know you are ready?

I wanted another one immediately! We made a deal that after DD turned 1 we'd have the talk then start trying. I got pregnant when she was 15 months old.

I just always knew I wanted more than one and I wanted them relatively close bc I'm getting older and I wanted the option of having a third to be possible. My girls are 2 years apart and already such cute lil buddies. It actually makes my life a lil easier bc they are starting to entertain each other!

I think no matter what your relationship with DH will change once there's kids involved. Our relationship used to be easy breezy, now I realize it takes WORK to keep our marriage going strong bc we're so busy with the girls.

Message edited 2/28/2013 10:23:38 AM.

Re: how do you know you are ready?

Sometime a couple of months ago I just knew. The desire has been increasing exponentially as the weeks go by. DD is 16 mos old. We will be waiting another several months for a number of reasons. But I do feel like I went from "ehhhh" to "OMG I NEED ANOTHER BABY NOWWWWWWWWWW." I am sure it doesn't work that way for everyone though!

how do you know you are ready?

I always knew I wanted more than 1 child. I wanted them fairly close in age. I was hoping for about 2 years apart. Right after having DS and until about a month ago I had this insane urge to have another baby. It finally went away about a month ago and we had decided we would start trying this summer. Well LO and behold I am pregnant again! Our babies will only be 14 months apart and I am terrified! But I know in my heart we will be ok.

Maybe think about how far apart you would like your children and take it from there. Our relationship has changed but I think it's better now than ever. It's hard and about to get harder, but no one ever said marriage was easy!

Message edited 2/28/2013 10:29:01 AM.

Re: how do you know you are ready?

I never got that feeling.
I waited for it.
I waited for it
I looked around corners for it.
It just never came.
I might be missing some important woman gene that makes most people want more than one child.
I serioulsy think that sometimes.
So I kept waiting for it.
But it never came.
All I felt was complete. Like there was nothing more that needed to be added to my life.
So I guess that is how I knew I was one and done.

Re: how do you know you are ready?

Im going to be completely honest here I never felt the desire to have a second baby. My dh wanted to have one. He is an only child and didnt want his dd to be an only child too. I was perfectly fine with just my one. I didnt need much convincing though lol my dc are 26 months apart.

Re: how do you know you are ready?

i have that feeling actually, again, but am waiting because i'm just scared about how we would handle two so close in age (and the financial part of it as well).

Re: how do you know you are ready?

Re: how do you know you are ready?

for us (DS is 2 in April) we would have one now, but we both just got new job within the past 5-6 months and we want to establish ourselves there. I am a mean preggo so i want to make sure they know what im like before I spent 10 months as a grump.

I sometimes feel sad that my kids will prob be closer to 3.5 years apart, but it will be nice to have my son be able to help with the next one and be more independant then he is now.

how do you know you are ready?

We always wanted more than one and and wanted them close in age however not exactly this close in age. After the shock wore off whenb I found out I was pregnant with ds, I was beyond thrilled. Nowbthat they are both here, I wouldnt have it any other way.

Re: how do you know you are ready?

Re: how do you know you are ready?

I didn't feel "ready" but I believed two would work better than one and I wanted them close together, so we just did it. They are 20 months apart. I knew that I didn't want to just let whatever happen bc I'm not interested in having them 5 years apart, kwim? People seem to feel strongly either way on that. I feel like I want to move together as a family to a place where it becomes easier to go to restaurants, travel, etc. Other people want #1 to be more independent before #2 comes along. There are advantages to both, obviously. So for me it was more logistics and not this specific feeling or desire for another baby. I also think if you have a hard baby, like colicky etc, it makes it harder to imagine going through it again so soon.

Re: how do you know you are ready?

I guess for me I did always know I wanted more than one so in my head, I was always ready to get pregnant again. But emotionally I would say I was ready when my DD turned 2. That was really when I felt the itch again. While of course I was thrilled and happy with our family of three, for ME, it didn't quite feel fully complete. I felt like it was all going so fast and while I love watching my DD grow up I also was missing that baby stage too. I just really wanted another so right then we started TTC #2........which unfortunately turned into a long road for us. Our son is due any day now and DD is 4.5 so it took time for us to conceive again which was really hard because I always planned on more than one child and I was starting to feel like that would never happen for us.

But I will be honest though, now tht he's almost here I am a little nervous about going to two kids.......especially since so much time has passed now since DD was a baby BUT I also know in my heart I always wanted more than one and a sibling for my DD so I am extremely happy and I know it will be great.

Once your LO is older you might have the same feelings and just know or maybe you will be totally content with one. Either way, as long as you're happy it doesn't matter. Only time will tell so in the meantime, just enjoy your little peanut and don't worry about the rest right now.

Re: how do you know you are ready?

Re: how do you know you are ready?

Re: how do you know you are ready?

I wanted my kids very close in age. They are 18 months apart.

If I had known what I was getting into - or how hard DD would have been as a newborn - I would have waited a lot longer. But I do love that my kids are so close, they are great friends and do everything together.

Re: how do you know you are ready?

Posted by Bearcat

Sometime a couple of months ago I just knew. The desire has been increasing exponentially as the weeks go by. DD is 16 mos old. We will be waiting another several months for a number of reasons. But I do feel like I went from "ehhhh" to "OMG I NEED ANOTHER BABY NOWWWWWWWWWW." I am sure it doesn't work that way for everyone though!

Message edited 2/28/2013 12:12:50 PM.

Re: how do you know you are ready?

I never thought I was going to have some enlightened feeling -

We knew we didn't want Sean to be an only child, we didn't want them to be TOO far apart, so we started trying

But we're pretty practical planners - lol

Re: how do you know you are ready?

how do you know you are ready?

Until DD was 6 months old, just the thought of another child made me break out in hives. Which scared me because I always wanted three. After 6 months, I didn't hyperventilate at the thought, but I wasn't a fan either. It's only been recently that I've even entertained the idea. At 15 months, DD is no longer really a baby anymore. Each day she becomes more like a toddler and I start getting a little bit more ready. Not there yet though!

Re: how do you know you are ready?

I always wanted 2. Even after the first, I thought about a second. I know I want a third too (but not right now).

Having 2 is so much harder than having one!

Re: how do you know you are ready?

I wanted to TTC when dc was 9 months but I was not ready at all. After he turned a year I was so ready! I haven't had the ready feeling yet for dc #3 which makes me sad bc now I'm getting older as are my children

how do you know you are ready?

I wish I had the answer, but I feel the way you do. I can't even think of another baby and my dd is 22 months old!!! I don't have time on my side and don't want to wait too long, however I have no desire for another baby right now. I sometimes wonder "will I know when I'm ready", will I ever be ready. It's confusing. Sometimes I question whether I'm one and done because I'm completely happy and my life feels full with just my dd.

Best advice I can give is revisit this in the future. Don't think about it right now, especially since your dd is only 5 months old. At that point I was trying to get into the grove of being a first time parent; it was all new to me so the last thing on my mind was another. Don't ever feel you are alone feeling this way!!!!