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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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birthday etiquette and paying question
well, actually 2 questions.
It is my good friend's birthday today.
Approx. 2x a year, we will email each other and spontaneously take "hooky" days from work and go to the spa and movies. Obviously, we each pay for our own stuff.
We've been trying to coordinate one for the last few weeks, and it so happens that we were both free today. on her birthday.
Do I offer to pay for her massage? I'm typically generous, but not that generous. lol.
I feel awkward not paying since it is her birthday.
Question 2: Her DH also invited
me and 3 other girlfriends to surprise her with a birthday dinner tonight.
So, I am essentially spending a couple of hours with her, and then pretending to go home and then meeting up with them again to surprise her.
Do we (the 4 girlfriends) offer to chip in for dinner as well? This I have no problem with.
But dinner AND a massage would set me back mucho dinero!
I should have just planned "hooky" day another day and saved myself all this nonsense. lol.
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Posted 8/14/13 12:54 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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birthday etiquette and paying question
I would chip in for the dinner tonight with the other gfs but not for the spa
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| Posted 8/14/13 12:57 PM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: birthday etiquette and paying question
thats tough. if you dont want to pay for the massage (and you shouldnt have to), maybe pay for an 'add-on'?
as far as dinner,her DH should be paying for everyone. he INVITED a small group ofher closest friends for a SURPRISE. he should be footing the bill. but be prepared to ay for your meal and split her portion evenly with everyone in attendance
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| Posted 8/14/13 12:58 PM |
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SeaWolf14
*Crazy Cat Lady*
Member since 7/13 1324 total posts
Name:
Heather
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birthday etiquette and paying question
Or why not show up with a little "gift" on the spa day, so its clear that the spa is NOT part of the birthday gift.
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| Posted 8/14/13 12:58 PM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: birthday etiquette and paying question
Posted by forevermylilgirls
I would chip in for the dinner tonight with the other gfs but not for the spa
Ditt-to-the-o.
ETA: err, read it wrong. Her DH invited you guys out? Then he should be paying that bill...maybe do a spa add-on like others suggested.
Message edited 8/14/2013 1:00:14 PM.
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| Posted 8/14/13 12:59 PM |
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mrsm-2011
He is my world!
Member since 6/12 3009 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: birthday etiquette and paying question
Posted by SeaWolf
Or why not show up with a little "gift" on the spa day, so its clear that the spa is NOT part of the birthday gift.
I was going to suggest this as well.
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| Posted 8/14/13 1:03 PM |
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summerdays
LIF Zygote
Member since 8/13 23 total posts
Name:
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birthday etiquette and paying question
Definitely chip in for dinner. Bring her a small gift to the spa.
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| Posted 8/14/13 2:49 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: birthday etiquette and paying question
I don't think you need to treat her to the spa. However, I would get her a little something as a bday gift. I also have a friend who likes to go to the spa. We went to brunch and the spa around her bday. I treated her to brunch but not her massage.
If her DH invited a small group of friends, I'm pretty sure he will pick up the bill. If he doesn't, chip in for the dinner but I'm sure her DH will pay for it.
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| Posted 8/14/13 8:24 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: birthday etiquette and paying question
I think it's pretty funny that everyone thinks her should pay for dinner since he did the inviting. I happen to fully agree. BUT I posted something similar over a year ago about being annoyed that we were invited out for a birthday dinner and we all kicked in for the bday boys dinner, even though his fiancé had invited us all out. I didn't expect her to pay for everyone, but I did expect her to cover her fiancée portion. The bottom line, there's no way to know how it's going to go down until the bill is placed on the table.
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| Posted 8/14/13 8:31 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: birthday etiquette and paying question
I think if her DH invited you all out to surprise her, he should be picking up the bill. Asking you guys to chip in and pay is like throwing a party and then charging a cover at the door. Doesn't make sense to me. If he did the inviting, he should do the paying.
As for the massage, I probably wouldn't pay for that as others have said. I would more than likely bring with me a card and some small gift for her. This way you're acknowledging her birthday but not breaking your bank. KWIM?
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| Posted 8/15/13 8:26 AM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: birthday etiquette and paying question
I would pick up a gc towards a massage service for the future and give to her at the dinner assuming her DH pays the bill.
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| Posted 8/15/13 8:45 AM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: birthday etiquette and paying question
Either pay for the massage or give her a nice spa related (moisturizer or body oil, candle) gift bag. If you opt to pay for her massage and she won't allow you then definitely insist on paying the tip. In re: to dinner, her DH planned the surprise so IMO he should pay for everyone.
ETA: saw this thread was starting yesterday. What happened?
Message edited 8/15/2013 9:30:10 AM.
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| Posted 8/15/13 9:26 AM |
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