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Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
We are naming  after my DH. Not sure of middle name yet, so therefore not sure if we will add Jr. or not. If we don't use DH's middle name, I wanted to give him Patrick for a middle name (which is the male version of my middle name) and goes really well with the first and last name.
FIL asked DH the other day if we were really going to give DHs name bc he really hoped we'd name him after himself and could we give him it as a middle name. DH told him we were still undecided about middle names.
This bothers me for many reasons...1) if he wanted a namesake, he should have named DH after himself, (Dh is named after his father's father.) 2) it's not like we are picking a new name, we are using a family name. 3) Why try to guilt DH into feeling bad about naming his son after himself? 4) FIL has an incredibly Italian name that I do not like, and we have an Italian last name, and I really want to throw the Patrick in there to represent our Irish sides (both DH and I are 1/2 Irish). 6) FIL has the same first initial as DHs middle initial. So is we gave our son FIL's middle name, he'd have the exact same initials as Dh, but without the Jr...thus causing tons of confusion on medical records, and other forms.
Ugh! FIL is a great guy and Dh really has a great relationship with him, so I don't want to make waves, but the fact that he requested this is really rubbing me the wrong way!
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Posted 12/21/13 1:05 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
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Momma <3
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Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
I would not let FIL dictate the name of my DS. I would just keep quiet about the name you choose until after you have your DS and choose the name that you and your DH want.
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| Posted 12/21/13 1:13 PM |
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w8andsee
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1193 total posts
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Re: Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
Don't let it annoy you. Maybe he's asking because its some family tradition that they have to name the kids after their grandparents (my family has this tradition).
At the end of the day you and your DH are going to name your kid whatever you want. Your FIL is not going to be the first or the last to suggest a name. Listen and ignore. Once the baby comes they are going to be so in love that they aren't even going to care about the name.
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| Posted 12/21/13 4:01 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
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Me
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Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
This is why DH and I are not going to reveal our DD's name until she's born... not like we've picked one yet lol. Once she's here and her name has been decided, it's too late for people's opinions to matter.
I think it's kinda ballsy for anyone to insist on a name for a child that isn't their own.
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| Posted 12/21/13 5:26 PM |
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Re: Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
Thanks everyone! We are set on the first name after DH and my DD already calls the baby by that name when she talks to my belly, so that's non-negotiable and I know middle name isn't THAT huge of a deal, but I just thought it was nervy for FIL to flat out tell my DH he wanted his name to be the middle name...
I usually would let this just roll off my back, but pregnancy hormones are raging lately!  Thanks for letting me vent!
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| Posted 12/21/13 5:35 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
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Re: Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
It is Italian tradition to name after your husband's father first. That's why he expects this. I did not do it but my fil has an extremely ethnic name and told us not to do it.
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| Posted 12/21/13 8:50 PM |
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Re: Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
Posted by ElizaRags35
This is why DH and I are not going to reveal our DD's name until she's born... not like we've picked one yet lol. Once she's here and her name has been decided, it's too late for people's opinions to matter.
I think it's kinda ballsy for anyone to insist on a name for a child that isn't their own.
This exactly. With DS we didn't announce his name until he was born and we'll do the same with #2. Once the baby is here people are less likely to throw their two cents in, or offer their unsolicited opinions because it is already set in stone.
The only two people who get to have a say in this are you and DH! Stay strong!
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| Posted 12/21/13 9:28 PM |
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Re: Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
Posted by lynnd126
It is Italian tradition to name after your husband's father first. That's why he expects this. I did not do it but my fil has an extremely ethnic name and told us not to do it.
Yes, this is the tradition FIL followed when naming DH. I'm glad DH wants to name after himself and not his dad, though...bc FIL has a pretty ethnic name. Not to mention DHs parents are divorced, and he is also close to his step-dad...my father died when I was a child (and since his name is common in our family already, we decided not to include it), and I'm close to my step-dad too. I just think it was a little selfish of FIL to expect we'd name the baby after him when there are many men in our families with names to choose from. Dh and I are both half Irish as well, and I'm really pushing for Patrick as a middle name, which would give DS DHs first name and my middle name. The more I think about it, the more I want it! Now, only to 100% sell DH on the idea.
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| Posted 12/21/13 9:30 PM |
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WockaWocka10
LIF Infant
Member since 4/13 349 total posts
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Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
If my FIL told me that he expected me to name my child after him I'd laugh in his face. That's ridiculous. Who does he think he is? Even if the man is a saint and you all have a wonderful relationship. That's crazy!!
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| Posted 12/21/13 11:49 PM |
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Re: Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
Posted by lynnd126
It is Italian tradition to name after your husband's father first. That's why he expects this. I did not do it but my fil has an extremely ethnic name and told us not to do it.
I was just going to say this.
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| Posted 12/22/13 1:33 PM |
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Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
I too am not revealing anything until AFTER the baby is born. I just know it would open up too many opinions. Im so sorry that you are going through this. The only advice I can give you is to stick with your instincts and go with what you and your DH want its your child.
Good luck with everything. HUGS*
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| Posted 12/22/13 5:12 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
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Re: Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
Posted by lynnd126
It is Italian tradition to name after your husband's father first.
Yes, this. It's a tradition, but more and more people are refraining from this. I don't think he was out of place to ask, BUT I don't think you will be out of place to use his middle name as Patrick or anything else for that matter.
DH grandfather was Giacomo, so we have a bunch of Jack's as a result, (Giacomo is Italian for jack.) Maybe there is an English version you could consider? If not go with Patrick or something else.
Message edited 12/22/2013 8:13:30 PM.
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| Posted 12/22/13 6:33 PM |
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KroertGS
LIF Infant
Member since 6/13 263 total posts
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Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
I think it was annoying of him to make you feel obligated to do that, but it's a decision between you and your DH...as much as your FIL would like to have a say, he doesn't. Do what you like.
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| Posted 12/23/13 2:15 PM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2911 total posts
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Feeling Annoyed (Name related!)
I would feel a little bad if FIL requested that we use his name, but we are not following that tradition.
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| Posted 12/27/13 10:50 PM |
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