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So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!

Member since 11/06

26792 total posts

Name:
Shawn

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

It's not just b-day parties. It happens with sports, too. I've been coaching soccer for 6 years. I send out emails every week with reminders about practices and games. Every week I put "let me know if you can't make the game (or practice)". I even explain why I need to know beforehand. I'll get maybe one or two responses, but 5 kids don't show up.
For practices, I have to completely change my plans depending on if we have 5 kids vs 15 kids. At least that I can adapt to on the fly.
The games, however, impact a lot of people. We should have 11 on the field, with a few subs. If I know the day before that I will only have 11 max, I can talk to the other coach, play less people, and still start on time. Otherwise, I am just waiting for kids to show up that never will, and it takes away time from the game for the other players.
The coaches have all learned to deal with this, and it happens to all of us, but it's still frustrating, and it takes away game time from the other 30 kids who did show up on time, or let the coaches know they couldn't make it.
I close every one of my emails with my cell number and email address so nobody should say they misplaced my contact info.

Posted 11/11/14 8:41 AM
 
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lynnd126
LIF Adult

Member since 3/11

2630 total posts

Name:

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Read through everything and those going nuts because a mom says she doesn't like taking her kids to classmate parties is just....wow. To turn it into she is doing her kid some disservice is a bit much as well. Sometimes that whole "please conform and do what everyone else does or else your kid will suffer" feels a bit like an order being sent down from high up. Chat Icon

"If your kid doesn't attend parties....he sleeps wit da gold fishes..."
Sincerely,
IMAGE






No, I said that a blanket policy of no school parties ever (she said she doesn't go to a single one and wishes she could literally opt out of invitations) could affect her child socially in school. I do believe that. Sorry if people want to blow that opinion out of proportion and say it's mommy mafia or say that we are calling cps blah blah. School kids can be tough on each other and trying to go to at least a few birthday parties is a good way to help your kid make friends. What about play dates? Stupid too? How do you think moms meet? Mostly at parties and school functions.

Posted 11/11/14 11:47 AM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by lynnd126

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Read through everything and those going nuts because a mom says she doesn't like taking her kids to classmate parties is just....wow. To turn it into she is doing her kid some disservice is a bit much as well. Sometimes that whole "please conform and do what everyone else does or else your kid will suffer" feels a bit like an order being sent down from high up. Chat Icon

"If your kid doesn't attend parties....he sleeps wit da gold fishes..."
Sincerely,
IMAGE






No, I said that a blanket policy of no school parties ever (she said she doesn't go to a single one and wishes she could literally opt out of invitations) could affect her child socially in school. I do believe that. Sorry if people want to blow that opinion out of proportion and say it's mommy mafia or say that we are calling cps blah blah. School kids can be tough on each other and trying to go to at least a few birthday parties is a good way to help your kid make friends. What about play dates? Stupid too? How do you think moms meet? Mostly at parties and school functions.



I am def one that would rather opt out of parties but we do go to a few. I ask my ds if he wants to go and even at 3 he says yes to some and no to others. Also if it doesn't fit in our schedule then we don't go. I will never rearrange things just so he can go.

Play dates are also a no for us. I might change my mind when he gets older but the only time I have with my family is weekends so that time is precious. I don't think my son will be scared because he doesn't do play dates. And not everyone needs to meet other mommies.

Posted 11/11/14 12:00 PM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54921 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by alli3131

Posted by lynnd126

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Read through everything and those going nuts because a mom says she doesn't like taking her kids to classmate parties is just....wow. To turn it into she is doing her kid some disservice is a bit much as well. Sometimes that whole "please conform and do what everyone else does or else your kid will suffer" feels a bit like an order being sent down from high up. Chat Icon

"If your kid doesn't attend parties....he sleeps wit da gold fishes..."
Sincerely,
IMAGE






No, I said that a blanket policy of no school parties ever (she said she doesn't go to a single one and wishes she could literally opt out of invitations) could affect her child socially in school. I do believe that. Sorry if people want to blow that opinion out of proportion and say it's mommy mafia or say that we are calling cps blah blah. School kids can be tough on each other and trying to go to at least a few birthday parties is a good way to help your kid make friends. What about play dates? Stupid too? How do you think moms meet? Mostly at parties and school functions.



I am def one that would rather opt out of parties but we do go to a few. I ask my ds if he wants to go and even at 3 he says yes to some and no to others. Also if it doesn't fit in our schedule then we don't go. I will never rearrange things just so he can go.

Play dates are also a no for us. I might change my mind when he gets older but the only time I have with my family is weekends so that time is precious. I don't think my son will be scared because he doesn't do play dates. And not everyone needs to meet other mommies.



I have to agree.
I HATE HATE going to these parties because I don't do small talk and I don't relate well to other women- at all.
I never have. So for me, it's torture.
I feel so uncomfortable and out of place.
However, I do take my DD to some parties when she is invited (she really isn't invited to all that many at this age yet) because I see how much she loves it.
I went to one last week that she had such a blast at that I was smiling the rest of the weekend. Totally worth the 2 hours of torture for me to see her so happy.
But as far as playdates, we have never done one. She is at daycare for over 8 hours a day and has been since she was 8 weeks old. She gets plenty of play time and socialization. I don' feel the need to spend our weekends doing that too.
And as far as meeting other moms. I am sorry, but I couldn't care less about that. I am not looking for friends at this point in my life. I barely have time for the ones I already have.
Having said all that, we do go to parties and going or not, I ALWAYS RSVP

Posted 11/11/14 12:14 PM
 

2BadSoSad
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

6791 total posts

Name:

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by alli3131

Posted by lynnd126

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Read through everything and those going nuts because a mom says she doesn't like taking her kids to classmate parties is just....wow. To turn it into she is doing her kid some disservice is a bit much as well. Sometimes that whole "please conform and do what everyone else does or else your kid will suffer" feels a bit like an order being sent down from high up. Chat Icon

"If your kid doesn't attend parties....he sleeps wit da gold fishes..."
Sincerely,
IMAGE






No, I said that a blanket policy of no school parties ever (she said she doesn't go to a single one and wishes she could literally opt out of invitations) could affect her child socially in school. I do believe that. Sorry if people want to blow that opinion out of proportion and say it's mommy mafia or say that we are calling cps blah blah. School kids can be tough on each other and trying to go to at least a few birthday parties is a good way to help your kid make friends. What about play dates? Stupid too? How do you think moms meet? Mostly at parties and school functions.



I am def one that would rather opt out of parties. I ask my ds if he wants to go and even at 3 he says yes to some and no to others. Also if it doesn't fit in our schedule then we don't go. I will never rearrange things just so he can go.

Play dates are also a no for us. I might change my mind when he gets older but the only time I have with my family is weekends so that time is precious. I don't think my son will be scared because he doesn't do play dates. And not everyone needs to meet other mommies.



Agreed - this is not a one size fits all thing. I dont do playdates either. Never have. My oldest is in late elementary and has plenty of good friends. Sees them at school, hangs out at aftercare, some of the parties I do go to and sports. We did just fine in the friend dept without play dates. Again, its not a one size fits all thing, I have no desire to make other mommy friends, so I dont, thats OK for ME. Maybe its not what you want FOR YOU and thats OK too.

I dont understand the refusal of "some" to see this without crucifying other moms. No ones child is going to be friendless and scarred from missing parties and not doing play dates. There are plenty of other ways parents choose to socialize their children that work for THEM. Those are not the only two sources. Some parents have lots of childhood friends, like myself, and are very content with that group. I do not have the desire to make more friends or other mommy friends so that is not where I choose to put my efforts, that goes towards mainting the friendships I DO have. I am content with that and thats OK that you arent and want new mommy friends. For the last time, what works for one, doesnt work for all. Everyones kids are going to be just fine.

Just RSVP though........

Posted 11/11/14 12:15 PM
 

seaside
LIF Adult

Member since 6/08

3101 total posts

Name:

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Here's how I see it. People can do what they want on any given weekend, and I don't care.

But I can't help but notice how many families (not one here--just in general) have an "I only care about us" attitude. People don't stop and say what iff everyone did this?

If everyone decided that it took too much effort to rsvp, some little kid has no idea if anyone's coming to his party. That stinks.

If everyone decided to categorically skip others' birthdays because why not, then no one really does come to the kid's party.

I try to teach my family that they should treat others the way they'd want to be treated. If you want a bunch of faces around the table when you blow out your candles, we rearrange our schedule for others where we can. If you want the joy and convenience of knowing who's going to be there for you, we take the time to let others know we will be there for them.

Some people don't care about these things or have parties, but we do, and so I teach my family that if we want others to be supportive and considerate of us, we should be so toward others.

And yes, I DO think that kids turn out better when they're raised with this mentality.

Posted 11/11/14 1:07 PM
 

nrthshgrl
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Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by ChilisWife

Wow, didnt mean for this thread to get so heated.

Yes, there are bigger things in life to worry about. However my point was that I didnt want my son to show up at his own party and be the only one there. I just wish people thought of a child's feelings. If everyone replied no, at least I could consider rescheduling or inviting others.

Not responding does not mean "no." My family has had many parties - weddings, showers, birthdays - and people who didnt respond have shown up!

Next year IF we do anything, I will clearly write "PLEASE REPLY YES OR NO." Thanks for all the responses.



This is what is getting completely lost in the RSVP debate. Can you get the class list from the treacher? Even if a few friends show up, he'll have fun but I completely get that you want a party for him.

When my kids got older, they invite a few friends & we do something with just them - Bayville Adventure Park, LaserTag, Adventureland - and then I give them $20 each to get something at Target as their favor. So much easier.

Posted 11/11/14 1:57 PM
 

JennyPenny
?

Member since 1/08

12702 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by seaside

Here's how I see it. People can do what they want on any given weekend, and I don't care.

But I can't help but notice how many families (not one here--just in general) have an "I only care about us" attitude. People don't stop and say what iff everyone did this?

If everyone decided that it took too much effort to rsvp, some little kid has no idea if anyone's coming to his party. That stinks.

If everyone decided to categorically skip others' birthdays because why not, then no one really does come to the kid's party.

I try to teach my family that they should treat others the way they'd want to be treated. If you want a bunch of faces around the table when you blow out your candles, we rearrange our schedule for others where we can. If you want the joy and convenience of knowing who's going to be there for you, we take the time to let others know we will be there for them.

Some people don't care about these things or have parties, but we do, and so I teach my family that if we want others to be supportive and considerate of us, we should be so toward others.

And yes, I DO think that kids turn out better when they're raised with this mentality.



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Posted 11/11/14 2:37 PM
 

Michi
My Love

Member since 5/05

31600 total posts

Name:
M

So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Basic common courtesy. It is not too much to ask for but some how it is.

Posted 11/11/14 2:42 PM
 

afternoondelight828
LIF Adult

Member since 1/13

3363 total posts

Name:
Afternoon

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by seaside

Here's how I see it. People can do what they want on any given weekend, and I don't care.

But I can't help but notice how many families (not one here--just in general) have an "I only care about us" attitude. People don't stop and say what iff everyone did this?

If everyone decided that it took too much effort to rsvp, some little kid has no idea if anyone's coming to his party. That stinks.

If everyone decided to categorically skip others' birthdays because why not, then no one really does come to the kid's party.

I try to teach my family that they should treat others the way they'd want to be treated. If you want a bunch of faces around the table when you blow out your candles, we rearrange our schedule for others where we can. If you want the joy and convenience of knowing who's going to be there for you, we take the time to let others know we will be there for them.

Some people don't care about these things or have parties, but we do, and so I teach my family that if we want others to be supportive and considerate of us, we should be so toward others.

And yes, I DO think that kids turn out better when they're raised with this mentality.



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and a BIG like to:

But I can't help but notice how many families (not one here--just in general) have an "I only care about us" attitude.

Posted 11/11/14 3:33 PM
 

missrock
Beautiful!!!!

Member since 5/06

3808 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

This is the exact reason why I do not have parties for my kids anymore. In April, I had a party for my DS and only 1 person responded to the party. I sent a notice to the teacher that asked the parents to kindly respond and I got maybe 3 more responses.

On the party day, the three extra kids that stated they were going were a no show. Needless to say, only 8 kids showed up and that was because of my friend's kids.

I refuse to spend money on a party for my kid that will hurt his feelings because some parents cannot respond or even take their kid to a party. I know that not everyone goes to events like this, but if I know my child will have a good time hanging out with their friends, I grin and bear it for my kid's sake.

Its called sacrifices. Its not all about me anymore. I go to 80% of kids parties because my kids have fun and because I know how the children feel like when their own friends never show up to their birthday party. The thought of hurting a child's feelings because no one shows up to their party is heart breaking, IMO.

Sometimes parents have to put themselves in other shoes.



Posted 11/11/14 5:17 PM
 

orchid24
PARTY OF FIVE PLEASE!

Member since 3/06

2018 total posts

Name:
D

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by seaside

Here's how I see it. People can do what they want on any given weekend, and I don't care.

But I can't help but notice how many families (not one here--just in general) have an "I only care about us" attitude. People don't stop and say what iff everyone did this?

If everyone decided that it took too much effort to rsvp, some little kid has no idea if anyone's coming to his party. That stinks.

If everyone decided to categorically skip others' birthdays because why not, then no one really does come to the kid's party.

I try to teach my family that they should treat others the way they'd want to be treated. If you want a bunch of faces around the table when you blow out your candles, we rearrange our schedule for others where we can. If you want the joy and convenience of knowing who's going to be there for you, we take the time to let others know we will be there for them.

Some people don't care about these things or have parties, but we do, and so I teach my family that if we want others to be supportive and considerate of us, we should be so toward others.

And yes, I DO think that kids turn out better when they're raised with this mentality.



I really like the way you worded your response. Honestly this thread is too long. The issue isn't whether you think your child should go to every party or go to none. The issue is just letting the party planner know whether you'll be there or not, out of common courtesy!!!

Posted 11/11/14 8:06 PM
 

ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls

Member since 2/09

20494 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by seaside

Here's how I see it. People can do what they want on any given weekend, and I don't care.

But I can't help but notice how many families (not one here--just in general) have an "I only care about us" attitude. People don't stop and say what iff everyone did this?

If everyone decided that it took too much effort to rsvp, some little kid has no idea if anyone's coming to his party. That stinks.

If everyone decided to categorically skip others' birthdays because why not, then no one really does come to the kid's party.

I try to teach my family that they should treat others the way they'd want to be treated. If you want a bunch of faces around the table when you blow out your candles, we rearrange our schedule for others where we can. If you want the joy and convenience of knowing who's going to be there for you, we take the time to let others know we will be there for them.

Some people don't care about these things or have parties, but we do, and so I teach my family that if we want others to be supportive and considerate of us, we should be so toward others.

And yes, I DO think that kids turn out better when they're raised with this mentality.



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Posted 11/11/14 9:00 PM
 

SweetSarj
LIF Adult

Member since 10/09

1592 total posts

Name:

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

This is all so true. My DH is always adamant about supporting others and will always attend functions when we are invited. People are important. It is important to show your support.

Very well said.



Posted by seaside

Here's how I see it. People can do what they want on any given weekend, and I don't care.

But I can't help but notice how many families (not one here--just in general) have an "I only care about us" attitude. People don't stop and say what iff everyone did this?

If everyone decided that it took too much effort to rsvp, some little kid has no idea if anyone's coming to his party. That stinks.

If everyone decided to categorically skip others' birthdays because why not, then no one really does come to the kid's party.

I try to teach my family that they should treat others the way they'd want to be treated. If you want a bunch of faces around the table when you blow out your candles, we rearrange our schedule for others where we can. If you want the joy and convenience of knowing who's going to be there for you, we take the time to let others know we will be there for them.

Some people don't care about these things or have parties, but we do, and so I teach my family that if we want others to be supportive and considerate of us, we should be so toward others.

And yes, I DO think that kids turn out better when they're raised with this mentality.

Posted 11/11/14 11:06 PM
 

summertime
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/10

852 total posts

Name:

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

For all those non responders, imagine it was your kids party? I just don't get it, takes a couple of minutes. Seriously noone is that busy that they can't rsvp to a party!!!!

Posted 11/12/14 9:07 AM
 

DaniJude
You're My Home <3

Member since 11/06

14815 total posts

Name:
Danielle

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Read through everything and those going nuts because a mom says she doesn't like taking her kids to classmate parties is just....wow. To turn it into she is doing her kid some disservice is a bit much as well. Sometimes that whole "please conform and do what everyone else does or else your kid will suffer" feels a bit like an order being sent down from high up. Chat Icon

"If your kid doesn't attend parties....he sleeps wit da gold fishes..."
Sincerely,
IMAGE





Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/12/14 9:07 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54921 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by summertime

For all those non responders, imagine it was your kids party? I just don't get it, takes a couple of minutes. Seriously noone is that busy that they can't rsvp to a party!!!!



Yes, I think this is what is getting way lost in this thread as it turned into the benefits vs cost of attending parties, etc.

Bottom line- Just respond. You don't have to go to ANY parties at all- that is your prerogative. You can socialize or not socialize your kid any way you want to.
But just respond in a timely fashion.
That's all

Posted 11/12/14 9:09 AM
 

td123
LIF Infant

Member since 3/10

294 total posts

Name:

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Just a tip for those who do RSVP...

I recently RSVPed quickly to a party for DD's classmate and I made a very poor assumption. She left her phone number and email and since I am always texting/responding. I just assumed the number she left was a cell phone and I texted the mother the RSVP. Luckily I asked what her DD was into so we could give a gift she would enjoy. I was surprised to not receive a response and then it clicked that it may have been a home phone number. So I called her to double check and am glad I did bc then my child would have been the surprise kid at the party lol.

Posted 11/12/14 9:41 AM
 

mrsej
The cutest!

Member since 1/07

2495 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

At my ds' school they have a directory that includes email addresses and phone numbers (cell and home) for all the kids in the class. All the parents send evites and it is very easy to rsvp. For my ds' party last year only one mom didn't respond and I texted her and got her response. I guess my ds' school is in the minority where they post contact information in the directory. It just makes this stuff so much easier.

Posted 11/12/14 12:42 PM
 

Millie3
LIF Adult

Member since 7/13

1280 total posts

Name:

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by lynnd126

Posted by Sash

Posted by CookiePuss

Posted by Sash

I never said I was too busy to RSVP. I posted repeatedly that I assumed no repsonse meant No. Just like a previous poster said in her circle of friends it's the same way. I also posted that obviously im rude and that's wrong. And this was only for school parties not personal family and friend invites to events.

Not taking my son to school parties on the weekend doesn't make me a bad parent just because you do it. I don't do school parties and my son is and will be just fine. I'm not the only one, several moms post on here how they don't go to parties on the weekend because family time is important to them. How come that is ok, and I'm wrong? Because I don't sugar coat it and think there isnt a need for my kid to go to a party every weekend.

As far as extra curricular activities, I didn't mean for it to be a pissing match. I'm sure everyone has busy kids. I was just trying to say even if I would bring him, he would choose that over the party. I didn't mean to come off as I'm busier than everyone.

Eta: 90% of the invites just have a number, it doesn't say cell for you to just shoot a text.



Your child may not care now...because it's kindergarten and only November but if you are planning on staying in your school district...he is eventually going to care about being invited to parties. These new friends at school, will become his old friends in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc...Also, all these new parents will be the same ones that you will be seeing each week at inter-mural sports, PTA events, fundraising events,etc... You don't want to be the mom left out.

Treat kindly now if you want your son and you to be treated kindly later.



Oh please, I treat everyone kindly and with the respect they deserve. Not going to a party isn't being disrespectful or treating a mom unkindly. If people are going to treat my son like crap becuase he didn't go to a party, then the issue is on them!

The logic on this board is ridiculous.



I get what you're saying, but also you're kind of putting your ideology regarding parties on him. He may say he rather go to sports etc. but at this age they do what they see and know. Do whatever you want (obviously) but I think that a blanket "we don't do school parties" policy can come back to bite your child socially. It's easy to say oh someone who wouldn't want to be his friend over this is someone he doesn't need, but they're just kids and the parties help foster relationships. Just my opinion.



I disagree with this. These kids go to a million parties, run right past the birthday child, play like crazy , and that's that. These parties are not helping foster friendships. Many families do not attend birthday parties for class mates for whatever reason. I highly doubt it will affect any of these kids socially.

I do think everyone should RSVP, especially to avoid hurt feelings.

Posted 11/12/14 12:52 PM
 

Millie3
LIF Adult

Member since 7/13

1280 total posts

Name:

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by MrsPJB2007

Read through everything and those going nuts because a mom says she doesn't like taking her kids to classmate parties is just....wow. To turn it into she is doing her kid some disservice is a bit much as well. Sometimes that whole "please conform and do what everyone else does or else your kid will suffer" feels a bit like an order being sent down from high up. Chat Icon

"If your kid doesn't attend parties....he sleeps wit da gold fishes..."
Sincerely,
IMAGE






Exactly. I think we may be better off teaching our kids NOT to conform. It's ridiculous, really.

Posted 11/12/14 12:53 PM
 

TyReseGreen
Lil Prince is here

Member since 8/11

6338 total posts

Name:
Theresa

So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

I am so sorry but to tell u the truth a lot of people don't RSVP they just pop up. Rude I know but reality.

Posted 11/12/14 1:12 PM
 

allIwant
Love my crazy life!

Member since 1/10

9170 total posts

Name:

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

OMG really ???just take the time you are taking to post on this thread and RESPOND to the parties your kids are invited to!

Posted 11/12/14 10:34 PM
 

kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!

Member since 8/07

12475 total posts

Name:
Keri

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Posted by Millie3

Posted by lynnd126

Posted by Sash

Posted by CookiePuss

Posted by Sash

I never said I was too busy to RSVP. I posted repeatedly that I assumed no repsonse meant No. Just like a previous poster said in her circle of friends it's the same way. I also posted that obviously im rude and that's wrong. And this was only for school parties not personal family and friend invites to events.

Not taking my son to school parties on the weekend doesn't make me a bad parent just because you do it. I don't do school parties and my son is and will be just fine. I'm not the only one, several moms post on here how they don't go to parties on the weekend because family time is important to them. How come that is ok, and I'm wrong? Because I don't sugar coat it and think there isnt a need for my kid to go to a party every weekend.

As far as extra curricular activities, I didn't mean for it to be a pissing match. I'm sure everyone has busy kids. I was just trying to say even if I would bring him, he would choose that over the party. I didn't mean to come off as I'm busier than everyone.

Eta: 90% of the invites just have a number, it doesn't say cell for you to just shoot a text.



Your child may not care now...because it's kindergarten and only November but if you are planning on staying in your school district...he is eventually going to care about being invited to parties. These new friends at school, will become his old friends in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc...Also, all these new parents will be the same ones that you will be seeing each week at inter-mural sports, PTA events, fundraising events,etc... You don't want to be the mom left out.

Treat kindly now if you want your son and you to be treated kindly later.



Oh please, I treat everyone kindly and with the respect they deserve. Not going to a party isn't being disrespectful or treating a mom unkindly. If people are going to treat my son like crap becuase he didn't go to a party, then the issue is on them!

The logic on this board is ridiculous.



I get what you're saying, but also you're kind of putting your ideology regarding parties on him. He may say he rather go to sports etc. but at this age they do what they see and know. Do whatever you want (obviously) but I think that a blanket "we don't do school parties" policy can come back to bite your child socially. It's easy to say oh someone who wouldn't want to be his friend over this is someone he doesn't need, but they're just kids and the parties help foster relationships. Just my opinion.



I disagree with this. These kids go to a million parties, run right past the birthday child, play like crazy , and that's that. These parties are not helping foster friendships. Many families do not attend birthday parties for class mates for whatever reason. I highly doubt it will affect any of these kids socially.

I do think everyone should RSVP, especially to avoid hurt feelings.




My DD went to a birthday party last year at Chuck E Cheese and didn't speak to one other classmate (besides the birthday boy because I TOLD her to!)

Now that she's a little older, at parties she plays with the 2 girls in her class that she's "friends" with.

I don't think these things matter much in the early elementary grades when kids are so fickle that their best friend changes weekly.

Posted 11/13/14 8:42 AM
 
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