Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

OP said it much better

Message edited 11/9/2014 2:37:14 PM.

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

But sorry 3 hrs of my time on my phone so my son can run around mostly by himself at a jumping place seems like a waste of my time. I ask my son if he wants to xyz party and he will say i don't care, I don't really know them. So why am I going to waste my already busy Saturday trying to make it work for him to go run around by himself??



THAT is not being selfish?



As far as extracurricular activities my son rather go to them than a party. This is a kid who rather go to tennis, karate graduation then go do something on his own birthday. I had to rearrange his birthday plans around his activities because he was hell bent on going to that karate graduation ceremony. Plus he has other commitments aside from extracurricular which has frozen us at the moment.


I would think he would want to go to a graduation ceremony lol.



Also my son is 6 and I think he is fine with the friendships he has in school. They will change a million times over, so I feel there is no need for me to have to nurture them outside of school. But that's just me and my way of parenting.



6 year olds don't know what they want. It is the parents job at that age to forge friendships and allow them to flourish. While it might not be fun, that is life having kids.

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Wow! Not gonna read through all the responces, but skimming through I get the gist.
Anyway, I always respond and we really do try to make it to parties if we are available. If we are not I respond thanking them for the invite but unfortunately we have something that day. I hope so and so has a wonderful birthday. When I respond yes I always thank the parent and let them know we're looking forward to it and can't wait to meet the kids in the class and other moms. I also add asking if there's something their LO is into so I have an idea of what to buy. Takes about 5 mins of my time. I also work and have two little ones.
Everyone is different too so to each their own. I personally love getting to know other parents of the kids in DS's class. We see how they interact and we discuss the teachers and just stuff in general. I've made some great friends between play dates and parties. Gives me a glimpse of what he's like in school and the influence he has with his friends.
My oldest is only In kindergarten but he knows who he's friends with and loves talking about his friends. We keep the kids together in sports and other activities. We do have other things going on besides DS and his classmates but they are with them more than anything else we do.
It was nice last week to go out with a few couples after the school conferences for dinner and drinks. Friends in the area is great.

So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

I totally agree! I threw a shower last month and had to track down lots of people. For my shower so many people didn't respond it was crazy. If there is an email address its so easy to just write a YES or a NO.

I'm so sorry and I hope people RSVP soon.

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Unless you weren't born in the U.S., and just don't know any better because it isn't your custom, you should respond either YES or NO. It takes literally 60 seconds of your precious time. I totally understand being busy and forgetting, I have been there, but I apologize profusely when it happens.

You don't ignore an invite, period. No matter how busy you are

So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

I set an alarm on my phone for a day before the RSVP date (assuming I'm not sure if we will be able to make it when I first get the invite).

Just common courtesy. People need head counts for party places , food, goodie bags.

It's what I would want done for me if / when I can throw my kid(s) a party
for classmates.

Side note: I will RSVP in any form you list, but I love the texting option.

And we are ALL busy these days. But if you have time to go on LIF, you can shoot a quick text or email for 10 seconds JmO!

Message edited 11/9/2014 6:35:00 PM.

So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

I never said I was too busy to RSVP. I posted repeatedly that I assumed no repsonse meant No. Just like a previous poster said in her circle of friends it's the same way. I also posted that obviously im rude and that's wrong. And this was only for school parties not personal family and friend invites to events.

Not taking my son to school parties on the weekend doesn't make me a bad parent just because you do it. I don't do school parties and my son is and will be just fine. I'm not the only one, several moms post on here how they don't go to parties on the weekend because family time is important to them. How come that is ok, and I'm wrong? Because I don't sugar coat it and think there isnt a need for my kid to go to a party every weekend.

As far as extra curricular activities, I didn't mean for it to be a pissing match. I'm sure everyone has busy kids. I was just trying to say even if I would bring him, he would choose that over the party. I didn't mean to come off as I'm busier than everyone.

Eta: 90% of the invites just have a number, it doesn't say cell for you to just shoot a text.

Message edited 11/9/2014 7:40:43 PM.

So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

I've only forgotten to rsvp to a party maybe once. But there have been times where I just haven't gotten around to doing it yet and I've gotten phone calls or texts asking if I am going to attend even though the RSVP by date is still days and sometimes as much as a week away! What's the point of having an RSVP by date?!?!

So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

I should have mentioned I was speaking in general, not to sash or anyone in particular.

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Maybe I just dont get how hard it is to contact someone if you are planning to go or not to go to an event.

I also dont get how an hour and a half or 2 hour party interferes with family time.

I think the problem is that people just dont care anymore. It is all about them or their kids. The world does not revolve around you or your kids.

My post is also to not to just one person either.

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Message edited 11/9/2014 9:52:40 PM.

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

This thread is getting ridiculous now.

No one needs to defend their choices for not attending things.

This doesn't make you a bad parent or less of a community member.


I agree it is turning into a pissing match, and some intent is being lost since this is a message board and posters are taking stuff out of context as usual.

I also think as per usual some people are just commenting with ridiculousness to create drama.

Message edited 11/10/2014 6:02:54 AM.

So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

People, we live in a world where people can't even bother to turn on a blinker! We actually expect someone to take a MINUTE out of their day to respond?

It's arrogant and rude not to respond, imo, but for those of us who find it a courtesy, then continue to do the right thing and teach that to our children.

But this is another reason why (as a teacher) I dislike invites going out in school. So many notices go home. It's easy for invites to get misplaced. They go in the wrong folder, the after school takes them out, who knows!!!

To the OP, don't take it personally. Next time, give a text as an rsvp and indicate to reply yes or no (and include the child's name). Lesson learned.

Message edited 11/10/2014 6:04:04 AM.

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

I own a place that does kids birthday parties. We have post card invitations that are free when you book a party. About half of the people take them. I would imagine most classes give a class list with an email address now. Most people I know just use evite. On evite you can see who hasn't even opened the invite, you can send reminders to people to RSVP and most of all it's very easy to accept or decline, so people do it. I am pushing for our company to make an electronic invitation because it's just so much easier for the parents. I am so surprised that there are so many people still using paper.

As far as thinking no response means you are not attending, I have never heard of this. Many invitations will specify Regrets Only meaning to only rsvp when you are not attending.

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Do people really feel like other kids' celebrations are holding their own kids back somehow and not worth it?

I would think that having your child socially included and learn to be there for others would be appealing to most.

And then, don't you want your own kid to feel like people came out and showed up for her birthday party?

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Chasing after people to RSVP is one of the things that drives me INSANE. I don't understand how anyone can ignore an invite.............the hostess can't read your mind. It's common courtesy to just let someone know "yes" or "no".

I ALWAYS respond to an invite..........immediately so that I don't forget. As soon as I get an invite I check my calendar and respond appropriately, put the party on the calendar if I'm attending, and put the invite on the fridge. It takes all of two minutes out of my day.

Not responding at all to an invite is so rude. If someone took the time to think of you and invite you to a party the LEAST you can do is let that person know if you're coming or not. Most people put a lot of time, effort, and money into a party. I don't really understand why anyone would ignore the RSVP.

So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

While I assume no RSVP means no it is incredibly rude, if someone is kind enough to invite my son to their kids party the least I can do is respond, in addition to these parties being very expensive what about the poor birthday child who has no one show?!

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Message edited 11/10/2014 8:49:10 AM.

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

I did not read through the replies.but for some strange inexplicable reason evite does not send me the invite the first time someone sends it out.mi only receive it with an edit or the auto resend feature. It happens from anyone who sends it to me.

I wonder if others have this problem too. My friends know about this issue and have sat with me looking at the computer to see if it works. It doesn't.

Once I get an invite I try to reply soon.

So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

Just take 1 minute to send a text saying thanks for the invite, but I can't make it. I doubt that it takes more than 1 to 2 minutes.

Re: So annoyed and sad for my son - RSVP related

A whole class or a large portion of a class not responding, stinks.

We get invited to about 15 class parties a year (between my 2 kids) and ONCE I lost an invite and forgot to rsvp. So, yes a few parents will just accidentally mess up now and again, but a whole class DOES imo reflect a culture of people that that just don't give a shit.

Idk why people fear the phone call so much, but I personally do address that by writing "call or text" next to my number. Sometimes I dread the phone call myself but it's really dumb. These people are asking for/ expecting your call. It takes two seconds, "Hi, this is Mary, John's mom. Just calling to let you know we'll be at the party/ we have another commitment and can't make it". Simple.

Sometimes I feel awkward at parties too. Sometimes I feel like I'm not like a lot of the moms from my neighborhood and I have a different sense of humor than them or I don't dress like them, etc. But I force myself to go b/c of my kids- and I find that I am usually wrong and DO connect with some people and have a good time. Honestly, I don't go to everything, haha especially this summer when my ds was starting a new school I ducked out on some summer parties with the old school friends b/c I was thinking eh he'll never see this crew again, lol, but my point is that imo you have to just try for your kids even if sometimes you feel stupid calling or stupid going etc.

I also used to always be the one to say that it's only right to invite the whole class, but I didn't do it this year. I invited the kids I know ds plays with and then invited any other kids that he said he's like to invite. That way I got the people I know but didn't exclude anyone that he plays with at school that I may not know. I think you have a better rsvp turnout like that bc it largely cuts people you really really don't even know.