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Quick vent...

Posted By Message

hoping2013
LIF Toddler

Member since 1/13

435 total posts

Name:

Quick vent...

Two things that have really bugged me this past week:

1) A friend says to me as she is feeding her 5 year old "are you suuuuure you want children?" with the subtext of see how annoying and time consuming it is and I am bored from the tedious nature of it. Seriously? That's not supportive - that's annoying and frankly, really insulting after 2 mc's and 3 years of fertility.

2) Upon learning that I had a miscarriage a woman I know asked me "what did you do wrong? Why did it happen? Did you work too much?".

I have come to the conclusion that it is really, really hard to find people who actually get it. I can count on one hand the people in my life who made me feel heard and supported.

Vent over. Thank God this board exists.

Posted 3/31/15 6:51 AM
 
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Hope2009
Thankful

Member since 1/09

4429 total posts

Name:
A

Re: Quick vent...

Oh boy people who have gone through what we have really don't "get" it. SMH.

I'm sorry. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/31/15 7:40 AM
 

ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides

Member since 11/12

14481 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Quick vent...

I think the only people who get it are people who have gone through it. I've learned that people say stupid things. Insensitive things when hey don't even realize. Try not to take it to heart and absorb it. In one ear and out the other. There's a saying "consider the source".

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Posted 3/31/15 7:55 AM
 

JDubs
different, not less

Member since 7/09

13160 total posts

Name:

Re: Quick vent...

Posted by ANewDayHasCome

I think the only people who get it are people who have gone through it. I've learned that people say stupid things. Insensitive things when hey don't even realize. Try not to take it to heart and absorb it. In one ear and out the other. There's a saying "consider the source".

Chat Icon



Agree with this. Unless people have been through IF themselves, they have no idea.

One of my coworkers is a sweet lady but she was telling me a story about how her niece has to *gasp* have "her husband's sperm inserted into her through a tube" and she couldn't fathom this. And stated how we both are so lucky to have conceived so easily.... it killed me not to say anything, but if only she knew!

Posted 3/31/15 9:53 AM
 

MrsPetro2B
LIF Infant

Member since 9/08

344 total posts

Name:
A

Re: Quick vent...

Ugh! I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I got things like "we were so glad you didn't have a baby this year" and "you know a lot about children for not having any of your own" at parent teacher conferences two weeks ago. It didn't help that there was a baby shower at work and all I could think about was that it should've been mine too. People didn't get that I couldn't go. I think some of it is ignorance but so much of it is insensitivity and not thinking before speaking. My tongue still hurts from biting it.

Posted 3/31/15 5:12 PM
 

hmm
Sweet

Member since 1/14

7993 total posts

Name:

Re: Quick vent...

ugh, sorryChat Icon Chat Icon

I know the feeling

Posted 3/31/15 5:27 PM
 

hoping2013
LIF Toddler

Member since 1/13

435 total posts

Name:

Quick vent...

Thanks guys...I am letting it roll off. Stupid folks! Eih..this journey....

Posted 3/31/15 6:04 PM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13103 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Quick vent...

Ugh that succkss. People are assses though and really don't know when to keep their mouth shut. Part of the reason only a select few know our struggles with IF. Sorry you had to go through that Chat Icon

Posted 4/2/15 11:30 AM
 

Mengie
LIF Zygote

Member since 2/08

45 total posts

Name:

Quick vent...

People do not get it unless they experienced the physical and then mental suffering of a miscarriage. I try to blow off the insensitive comments and only focus on the support from those women who really get the pain and suffering of a miscarriage and infertility.

Posted 4/2/15 6:02 PM
 
 

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